The film opens with yet another voiceover narration by Morgan Freeman, extolling the saintly virtues of a white person who deserves our reverence.
"You, you're the wisest man in the universe, we all know that. You played God twice for heavens sake, you can't be wiser."
"I'd never describe myself as a man of God. I'm an atheist. I'm not a man of God. But its fair to describe myself as a spiritual man. I do believe in spirituality. I just find it in a different place than a religious man might."
— Morgan Freeman, on himself.
Announcer: This Friday on TNT, the world premiere of Morgan Freeman in 'The Narrator.'
Morgan Freeman: Ever since I was a little boy, people have enjoyed the sound of my voice. And I figured you either get busy talkin' or you get busy dyin'. The work is really quite easy. Why even right now I'm just sitting in a chair, sipping some tea and reading from a script. The wall is covered in something that resembles egg crates except they're soft and spongy, like a twinkie...like a twinkie.
"Morgan Freeman goes through four or five microphones a day, because his voice turns them into bars of gold."
Kyle: You'd sell us all out? But why, Princess Kenny?!
Morgan Freeman: Because Princess Kenny was born a Half-Orc, whose entire village was wiped out by Humans and Elves.
Kyle: Morgan Freeman?!
Morgan Freeman: You see, when humans and elves lived together in the forest of Hollow Falls, an Elven Queen fell in love with an orc Dandar, the first one to posess the Stick of Truth. They loved in secret and had a child. A beutiful little girl' a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood. And that is why she waited, and plotted, all this time, to take the stick from you. For Princess Kenny is true heir to the Stick of Truth.
Cartman: Wow, that's pretty cool.
Kyle: Just one more thing, Morgan Freeman. How come every time something convuluted needs explaining, you show up?
Morgan Freeman: Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.
— Morgan Freeman explains why he explains everything in South Park: The Stick of Truth.