"Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. "
— Samuel Langhorne Clemens a.k.a. Mark Twain.
"It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it — it is like hitting a child."
— Samuel Clemens on the human race