"But the point we would request of you is, that you will promise to forget this fellow — to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory."
— Mrs. Malaprop, The Rivals
"O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this!"
— Dogberry, Much Ado About Nothing
"Lisa's in trouble! Ha! The ironing is delicious."
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons
"One time my boss comes over and he says, 'I don't want you guys conjugating around the cash register like this.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Well I am, you are, he/she/it is.'"
— Gary Gulman
"It was reported in New Scientist that an office worker described a colleague as 'a vast suppository of information'. The worker then apologised for his 'Miss-Marple-ism'."
— New Scientist
Goody: I don't want to buy the queen a present sir she's an Anti-Christ.
Fouler: I beg your pardon!?
Goody: Oh, no, I mean Anarchist. No, no, what's that name for someone who is out of date and does not matter anymore?
Habib: I think you mean an Anachronism.
Goody: Yes, that's right, the Queen is an Anachronism.
Gladstone: I though that was someone who was scared of spiders.
Fouler: No, no that is an Arachnaphobic.
Gladstone: I thought that was someone who was scared of wide open spaces.
Habib: No, that's Agraphobics, they can't handle going outside. Arachnophobics hate spiders.
Fouler: Look, we're talking about the queen.
Goody: Is the Queen scared of spiders?
Gladstone: Well I wouldn't have thought so, but it is starting to look that way.
Goody: Perhaps that is why she is scared to go outside, sir.
"It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man!"
— From some strips of Frank And Ernest
"From the tiny acorn grows the mighty elk."
— Mickey Doyle, Boardwalk Empire
"I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's likeó it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street."
— Tucker Carlson on Real Time with Bill Maher