Quotes / Incest Is Relative

If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.
Unknown source

NO! My wife! And my daughter! And my son! And my other son who is an evil guy! And his girlfriend! And a girl from the bus! All sexing together!

Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister.
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my daughter.
Mrs. Mulwray: My sister, my daughter.
Slap! Slap!
Gittes: I said I want the truth!
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister and my daughter!

The inbreeding takes up all of our time!
Patrice from 13 explaining why her hometown sucks

Mayor Quimby: If anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town.
Girl in bikini: But I am your niece, Uncle Joe!
Mayor Quimby: Good Lordů I'm an abomination!

Is she your daughter or your estranged ex who lost a lot of weight?

Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?
Conker, to Frankie the Pitchfork, Conker's Bad Fur Day

Yankee: Where did you meet your wife?
Redneck: At the family reunion! She was leanin' 'ginst the Ferris Wheel, makin' it teelt!
Traditional redneck joke

Now, not all Giovanni are incestuous - that would have withered the family to invalids and vegetables long ago. But many Giovanni find themselves craving the comforts of their fellows: sisters have borne their brothers' children, uncles have spawned new lines of the family with their nieces, and mothers have doted unhealthfully on their little boys. In fact, putting aside the social impropriety of the whole fucking mess, most Giovanni afford a perverse status to those who don't stray from the family lines. You'll hear much talk of "single-blooded" Giovanni and their supposed superiority over the "double-blooded." In fact, that's why I agreed to sire you - you are the child of your mother and her father, and that makes you single-blooded and thus a favored member of the family, much to my own esteem.
Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Giovanni (Revised)

"The family that LAYS together STAYS together!"
— caption of an unbelievably NSFW comic by Robert Crumb