Quotes: Incest Is Relative

If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.
Unknown source

NO! My wife! And my daughter! And my son! And my other son who is an evil guy! And his girlfriend! And a girl from the bus! All sexing together!
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister.
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my daughter.
Mrs. Mulwray: My sister, my daughter.
Slap! Slap!
Gittes: I said I want the truth!
Mrs. Mulwray: She's my sister and my daughter!
The inbreeding takes up all of our time!
Patrice from 13 explaining why her hometown sucks

Mayor Quimby: If anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town.
Girl in bikini: But I AM your niece, Uncle Joe!
Mayor Quimby: Good Lord...I'm an abomination!
Is she your daughter or your estranged ex who lost a lot of weight?
Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?
Conker, to Frankie the Pitchfork, Conker's Bad Fur Day

Yankee: Where did you meet your wife?
Redneck: At the family reunion! She was leanin' 'ginst the Ferris Wheel, makin' it teelt!
—-Traditional redneck joke