History Quotes / HypocriticalHumor

-->--'''The Nerd,''' ''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'', ''UsefulNotes/AmigaCD32'' review, on ''Beaver Mania''

-->--'''VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue'''

PS: Tell [[IBangedYourMom your mom to call me big Dady!]]''
-->-- '''The Postal Dude, as Santa Claus,''' ''VideoGame/Postal2, "A Very Postal Chrismas" mod.''

->''"Girls, ''girls!'' Remember, above all, self-control."'' [knock at the door; cue slamming piano keys] '''"YES?!"'''''
-->-- '''[[WickedStepmother Lady Tremaine]]''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Cinderella}}''

->'''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Never thought I would see you guys]] [[EnemyMine throw in with a guy like]] [[ComicBook/DoctorDoom Doom]].\\

->'''Jimmy Olsen:''' ''"You're welcome, chief. [...]"''\\
'''Perry White:''' ''"You're lucky I'm in a good mood, Olsen. I've told you a million times-- Don't call me chief!"''\\
'''Jimmy Olsen:''' ''"Don't worry, chief-- I'll never do it again!"''

Well, he was not immune to that, of course. But he had good reason. Prior claim, as it were.
-->-- '''ComicBook/LexLuthor''', ''Fanfic/KaraOfRokyn''

->He took the name- Metro Man, defender of Metro City. I decided to pick something ''a little more humble''- ''Megamind'', incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Megamind}}''

->''"Well, that's where I see things, just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor."'' ''(opens a Pizza Hut box and smiles for the camera)''

-->-- ''Film/TheWeddingPlanner''

->''[after finding cigarettes on a neutralized {{mook}}]'' Mm, these are very bad for you. ''[takes one and lights up]''

->''"He didn't [[NothingPersonal take it personally]]. He was a [[ProfessionalKiller hired killer]], after all. It would be pretty hypocritical to take a murder attempt personally, after everything he'd done. But that was no reason to let them live."''
-->-- '''Tesseract''', ''Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant: Mortal Coil''

-->-- '''Hamilton [[TheBigGuy Holt]]''', ''Literature/The39Clues -- [[Recap/The39CluesTheMedusaPlot Cahills vs. Vespers #1: The Medusa Plot]]''

->''"Men always seemed to think violence could solve anything. If she had had a stout stick, she would have thumped all three of them about the shoulders until they saw reason."''

->'''Monica:''' ''(on her friends judging her for dating her ex's son)'' Fine, judge all you want to, but ''(to Ross)'' married a lesbian, ''(to Rachel)'' left a man at the altar, ''(to Phoebe)'' fell in love with a gay ice dancer, ''(to Joey)'' threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, ''(to Chandler)'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext lives in a box!]]
-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with Chandler in a Box"

->'''"Personal attacks!? Real mature, Shrimp!"'''

->"Most people dislike vanity in others, whatever share they have of it themselves."

->"A witty saying proves nothing."

->"Look back through this essay, and for certain you will find that I have again and again committed the very faults I am protesting against."

->"I can't stand innuendo. If I see one in a script I whip it out immediately."

-->-- Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, "Thou Shalt Always Kill"

-->-- '''Ed Byrne'''

->''"[[RousingSpeech Awareness is the key to victory! Be sure you never let your guard dow—]]" [[[AgonyOfTheFeet *accidentally stabs his feet on his spear*]]] "Owwowowwow!"''

-->-- '''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}''', [[YouTubePoop "Robotnik Publishes a Bestseller"]]

->''The times call for rational, well-reasoned thinking. Under no circumstances allow your thinking to be clouded by superstition.''
-->-- Horoscope for Leos, The Onion

-->-- '''LetsPlay/{{Raocow}}''', ''over unedited footage of [[InfiniteOneUps life farming.]]''

->''"[[FanDumb Fans are clingy complaining dipshits]] [[UnpleasableFanbase who will never ever be grateful for any concession you make]]. The moment you shut out their shrill tremulous voices, the happier you will be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation t-shirt?"''
-->-- [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]

-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', on ''[[VideoGame/{{STALKER}} S. T. A. L. K. E. R.: Clear Sky]]''

-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', on ''VideoGame/SouthParkTheFracturedButWhole''

->'''The Nerd:''' Well, that's it. If you were expecting me to some kind of beaver joke, no. Because this is high-class internet content. Now enough of this poop-fuck-shit-diarrhea-cunt-fuck!
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'', ''UsefulNotes/AmigaCD32'' review, on ''Beaver Mania''

->You know me (disclaimer: none of you know me), and I am a simple man who only requests the simplest things in life, like four thousand gigabytes worth of furry porn, and a small supercomputer that I only ever use to edit text files with, but when I get my game on? Oh, boy, you better believe I'm getting my game on. Who needs 4K when I'm running Wii games 16,000 pixels wide, on a screen 5% of that value? You can practically taste the [[YoutubePoop Gay Luigi]]. But beyond all of this, I am very practical, and as such, demand little more but the quiet enjoyment of my life with my modest army of whores.

->''"(reading a ransom note) It from the martians! I know it them cause [[YouNoTakeCandle they no use good grammar]]."''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "No Weenies Allowed"

->''"Girls, ''girls!'' Remember, above all, self-control." [knock at the door; cue slamming piano keys] '''"YES?!"'''''

-->-- '''Kyon''', ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya''

-->-- '''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}''', [[WebAnimation/YouTubePoop "Robotnik Publishes a Bestseller"]]

->You know me (disclaimer: none of you know me), and I am a simple man who only requests the simplest things in life, like four thousand gigabytes worth of furry porn, and a small supercomputer that I only ever use to edit text files with, but when I get my game on? Oh, boy, you better believe I'm getting my game on. Who needs 4K when I'm running Wii games 16,000 pixels wide, on a screen 5% of that value? You can practically taste the [[WebAnimation/YoutubePoop Gay Luigi]]. But beyond all of this, I am very practical, and as such, demand little more but the quiet enjoyment of my life with my modest army of whores.