History Quotes / HypocriticalHumor

14th Aug '16 6:11:08 AM TheAmazingBlachman
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->'''Lois''': You did '''what'''? What '''ever''' possessed you to '''throw yourself out a window''' to get someone's '''attention'''?
->'''Clark''': The memory of you asking '''me''' that with a straight face will last a '''lifetime'''.

to:

->'''Lois''': ->'''Lois:''' You did '''what'''? What '''ever''' possessed you to '''throw yourself out a window''' to get someone's '''attention'''?
->'''Clark''':
'''attention'''?\\
'''Clark:'''
The memory of you asking '''me''' that with a straight face will last a '''lifetime'''.



->'''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Never thought I would see you guys throw in with a guy like]] Doom.
->'''[[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Thing:]]''' Oh yeah? Was that SelfDemonstrating/{{Magneto}} I saw [[HeelFaceTurn sitting at the conference table?]]
->'''Wolverine:''' Okay, well, if you want to get technical...

to:

->'''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Never thought I would see you guys throw in with a guy like]] Doom.
->'''[[ComicBook/FantasticFour
Doom.\\
'''[[ComicBook/FantasticFour
The Thing:]]''' Oh yeah? Was that SelfDemonstrating/{{Magneto}} I saw [[HeelFaceTurn sitting at the conference table?]]
->'''Wolverine:'''
table?]]\\
'''Wolverine:'''
Okay, well, if you want to get technical...



->'''Rick''': How can you close me up? On what grounds?\\
'''Louis''': I am shocked, ''shocked'', to find that gambling is going on in here!\\
'''Emile''': ''(handing him a stack of bills)'' Your winnings, sir.\\
'''Louis''': Oh thank you very much. ''(shouting to casino patrons)'' Everybody out at once!

to:

->'''Rick''': ->'''Rick:''' How can you close me up? On what grounds?\\
'''Louis''': '''Louis:''' I am shocked, ''shocked'', to find that gambling is going on in here!\\
'''Emile''': '''Emile:''' ''(handing him a stack of bills)'' Your winnings, sir.\\
'''Louis''': '''Louis:''' Oh thank you very much. ''(shouting to casino patrons)'' Everybody out at once!



->'''Archie''': How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
->'''Otto''': You're the vulgarian, you fuck!

to:

->'''Archie''': ->'''Archie:''' How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
->'''Otto''':
you?\\
'''Otto:'''
You're the vulgarian, you fuck!



->'''Brian''': No, no, no, you don't understand. You've got to work it out for yourselves.
->'''Followers''': [chanting] Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves.
->'''Brian''': You're all individuals!
->'''Followers''': Yes, we're all individuals.
->'''Brian''': You're all different!
->'''Followers''': Yes, we are all different.

to:

->'''Brian''': ->'''Brian:''' No, no, no, you don't understand. You've got to work it out for yourselves.
->'''Followers''': [chanting]
yourselves.\\
'''Followers:''' ''(in unison)''
Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves.
->'''Brian''':
ourselves.\\
'''Brian:'''
You're all individuals!
->'''Followers''':
individuals!\\
'''Followers:'''
Yes, we're all individuals.
->'''Brian''':
individuals.\\
'''Brian:'''
You're all different!
->'''Followers''':
different!\\
'''Followers:'''
Yes, we are all different.



->'''Officer''': Worst of all, [Colt] is [[CowboyCop gun happy]]!
->'''Colt''': [points a gun in her face] ''Where do you get off saying that?!''

to:

->'''Officer''': ->'''Officer:''' Worst of all, [Colt] is [[CowboyCop gun happy]]!
->'''Colt''': [points
happy]]!\\
'''Colt:''' ''(points
a gun in her face] face)'' ''Where do you get off saying that?!''



->'''Wayne:''' Well, that's where I see things, just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor. ''(opens a Pizza Hut box and smiles for the camera)''
-->--''Film/WaynesWorld''

to:

->'''Wayne:''' Well, ->Well, that's where I see things, just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor. ''(opens a Pizza Hut box and smiles for the camera)''
-->--''Film/WaynesWorld''
-->-- '''Wayne''', ''Film/WaynesWorld''



->'''Nigel Farage:''' I think it's absolutely disgusting, all these elected politicians using all these expenses to better themselves. Disgraceful, isn't it, Ian?
->'''Ian Hislop:''' It is absolutely disgraceful, Mister Kettle.

to:

->'''Nigel Farage:''' I think it's absolutely disgusting, all these elected politicians using all these expenses to better themselves. Disgraceful, isn't it, Ian?
->'''Ian
Ian?\\
'''Ian
Hislop:''' It is absolutely disgraceful, Mister Kettle.



->'''Brennan''': Kyle. I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect, but that won't work with me.
->'''Aldridge''': And why is that?
->'''Brennan''': Because I'm smarter than you are.

to:

->'''Brennan''': ->'''Brennan:''' Kyle. I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect, but that won't work with me.
->'''Aldridge''':
me.\\
'''Aldridge:'''
And why is that?
->'''Brennan''':
that?\\
'''Brennan:'''
Because I'm smarter than you are.



->'''Kermit:''' And we promise we won't stoop to cheap 3D tricks.
->'''Fozzie:''' Did someone say ''cheap 3D tricks''?! ''(blows a party favor at the camera)''

to:

->'''Kermit:''' And we promise we won't stoop to cheap 3D tricks.
->'''Fozzie:'''
tricks.\\
'''Fozzie:'''
Did someone say ''cheap 3D tricks''?! ''(blows a party favor at the camera)''



-> '''Clair''': I've never seen [Rudy] so bossy!
-> '''Cliff''': She ''is'' kind of pushy.
-> '''Clair''': Well I don't like it. Call her in here!

to:

-> '''Clair''': ->'''Clair:''' I've never seen [Rudy] so bossy!
-> '''Cliff''':
bossy!\\
'''Cliff:'''
She ''is'' kind of pushy.
-> '''Clair''':
pushy.\\
'''Clair:'''
Well I don't like it. Call her in here!



-->'''Hunter''': From 10 PM to 11 PM, we will only use the words ass, damn, hell, and bitch. We will ''never'', however, use the words [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking shit, fuck, goddamn, Jesus Christ]], faggot or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now then, as it pertains to video, we promise there will be less dick references.\\
'''Shawn''': Ah, shit!\\
'''Hunter''': Watch your fuckin' mouth!\\
'''Shawn''': Well, fuck me!\\
'''Hunter''': Goddamnit! (''under his breath'') Fuck!

to:

-->'''Hunter''': -->'''Hunter:''' From 10 PM to 11 PM, we will only use the words ass, damn, hell, and bitch. We will ''never'', however, use the words [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking shit, fuck, goddamn, Jesus Christ]], faggot or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now then, as it pertains to video, we promise there will be less dick references.\\
'''Shawn''': '''Shawn:''' Ah, shit!\\
'''Hunter''': '''Hunter:''' Watch your fuckin' mouth!\\
'''Shawn''': '''Shawn:''' Well, fuck me!\\
'''Hunter''': '''Hunter:''' Goddamnit! (''under ''(under his breath'') breath)'' Fuck!



->'''Marisa''': A half-beast that can't morph without the full moon is just a human. Weak!
->'''Alice''': You DO know you're a human too, right?

to:

->'''Marisa''': ->'''Marisa:''' A half-beast that can't morph without the full moon is just a human. Weak!
->'''Alice''':
Weak!\\
'''Alice:'''
You DO know you're a human too, right?



->'''Genocider Jill, Ultimate Murderous Fiend''': Shut your murdering mouth, murderer!
->'''Yasuhiro Hagakure, Ultimate Clairvoyant''': Who're ''you'' calling a murderer!?

to:

->'''Genocider Jill, Ultimate Murderous Fiend''': Fiend:''' Shut your murdering mouth, murderer!
->'''Yasuhiro Hagakure, Ultimate Clairvoyant''': Clairvoyant:''' Who're ''you'' calling a murderer!?



->'''Athens''': The same reports are coming in from the vessel commanders throughout the fleet. As we expected, the organic units are proving very selfish. Even with the two courses laid clearly before them, they stubbornly choose futile efforts at self-preservation over the greater good.\\
'''Petey''': The next engagements begin shortly. Athens, we need live telemetry feeds from all your systems - maybe we can learn something important.\\
'''Athens''': Who says I'm going first? I'm the flagship. ''You'' go first.

to:

->'''Athens''': ->'''Athens:''' The same reports are coming in from the vessel commanders throughout the fleet. As we expected, the organic units are proving very selfish. Even with the two courses laid clearly before them, they stubbornly choose futile efforts at self-preservation over the greater good.\\
'''Petey''': '''Petey:''' The next engagements begin shortly. Athens, we need live telemetry feeds from all your systems - maybe we can learn something important.\\
'''Athens''': '''Athens:''' Who says I'm going first? I'm the flagship. ''You'' go first.



->''You couldn't release a buggy game during the cartridge and cassette days, you'd get sentenced to trampling under the company Brontosaurus! But I'll tell you the worst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-''\\
''[system error box pops up]''

to:

->''You couldn't release a buggy game during the cartridge and cassette days, you'd get sentenced to trampling under the company Brontosaurus! But I'll tell you the worst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-orst part ab-''\\
''[system
ab--''\\
''(system
error box pops up]''up)''



->'''The Nerd''': ''Holy shit!'' *is blasted*
->'''Super Mecha Death Christ''': '''''WATCH YOUR [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] LANGUAGE!!'''''

to:

->'''The Nerd''': Nerd:''' ''Holy shit!'' *is blasted*
''(is blasted)''
->'''Super Mecha Death Christ''': Christ:''' '''''WATCH YOUR [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] LANGUAGE!!'''''



->'''Mark Posubule''': Forgive your ''debtors''!
->'''Clay Puppington''': Forgive your ''trespassers''!
->'''Mark Posubule''': You owe me a bottle of wine!
->'''Clay Puppington''': Get off my property!

to:

->'''Mark Posubule''': Posubule:''' Forgive your ''debtors''!
->'''Clay Puppington''':
''debtors''!\\
'''Clay Puppington:'''
Forgive your ''trespassers''!
->'''Mark Posubule''':
''trespassers''!\\
'''Mark Posubule:'''
You owe me a bottle of wine!
->'''Clay Puppington''':
wine!\\
'''Clay Puppington:'''
Get off my property!



-> '''Beavis''': "School sucks".
-> '''Principal [=McVicker=]''': "You watch your mouth, you little pain-in-the-ass!"

to:

-> '''Beavis''': "School sucks".
->
->'''Beavis:''' School sucks.\\
'''Principal [=McVicker=]''': "You [=McVicker=]:''' You watch your mouth, you little pain-in-the-ass!"pain-in-the-ass!



-> '''Rat''': "I'm thinking about pushing you off a tall cliff and filming what happens."
-> '''Pig''': "What for?"
-> '''Rat''': "'Cause then I can get on one of those 'shocking video' shows and be famous."
-> '''Pig''': "But I could get hurt.
-> '''Rat''': "There's no 'I' in 'team'

to:

-> '''Rat''': "I'm ->'''Rat:''' I'm thinking about pushing you off a tall cliff and filming what happens."
-> '''Pig''': "What for?"
-> '''Rat''': "'Cause
\\
'''Pig:''' What for?\\
'''Rat:''' 'Cause
then I can get on one of those 'shocking video' shows and be famous."
-> '''Pig''':
\\
'''Pig:'''
"But I could get hurt.
-> '''Rat''':
hurt.\\
'''Rat:'''
"There's no 'I' in 'team'



->'''Smithers:''' "I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Marked research shows that people see you as something of an ogre."\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' "I ought to club them and eat their bones!"

to:

->'''Smithers:''' "I'm I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Marked research shows that people see you as something of an ogre."\\
\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' "I I ought to club them and eat their bones!"bones!
4th Aug '16 12:12:17 PM Morgenthaler
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-->--'''Bowser Koopa''', ''TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3''

to:

-->--'''Bowser Koopa''', ''TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3''
''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3''
30th Jul '16 5:43:15 PM nombretomado
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-->--'''DaveBarry''', "The Fat Lady Sings"

to:

-->--'''DaveBarry''', -->--'''Creator/DaveBarry''', "The Fat Lady Sings"
17th Jun '16 1:34:51 AM PaulA
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->''"“The only good thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.”''
-->-- '''OscarWilde''', ''AnIdealHusband''

to:

->''"“The ->''The only good thing to do with good advice is pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.”''
''
-->-- '''OscarWilde''', ''AnIdealHusband''
'''Creator/OscarWilde''', ''Theatre/AnIdealHusband''
4th Jun '16 2:08:40 AM erforce
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-->--'''Dr. Ivo Robotnik''', ''Comicbook/SonicTheHedgehog'' issue #3

to:

-->--'''Dr.-->-- '''Dr. Ivo Robotnik''', ''Comicbook/SonicTheHedgehog'' issue #3



-->-- ''MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''

to:

-->-- ''MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''
''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''



->One more thing-- Eugene, gimme that-- If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to FUCKING God, I will stop being so polite. ''(someone wanders in)'' Get the fuck outta my sight before I demolish you!
-->--'''[[SadistTeacher Terrance Fletcher]]''', ''Film/{{Whiplash}}''

to:

->One ->''"One more thing-- Eugene, gimme that-- If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to FUCKING God, I will stop being so polite. ''(someone wanders in)'' Get the fuck outta my sight before I demolish you!
-->--'''[[SadistTeacher
you!"''
-->-- '''[[SadistTeacher
Terrance Fletcher]]''', ''Film/{{Whiplash}}''



-->-- Film/TheWeddingPlanner

to:

-->-- Film/TheWeddingPlanner
''Film/TheWeddingPlanner''
4th May '16 11:54:38 AM Piando
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->'''{{Wolverine}}:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Never thought I would see you guys throw in with a guy like]] Doom.
->'''[[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Thing:]]''' Oh yeah? Was that {{Magneto}} I saw [[HeelFaceTurn sitting at the conference table?]]

to:

->'''{{Wolverine}}:''' ->'''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}:''' [[WhatTheHellHero Never thought I would see you guys throw in with a guy like]] Doom.
->'''[[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Thing:]]''' Oh yeah? Was that {{Magneto}} SelfDemonstrating/{{Magneto}} I saw [[HeelFaceTurn sitting at the conference table?]]
10th Apr '16 5:28:04 AM Argon2
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Added DiffLines:

->''"And because I am'' '''''a goddamned professional!"'''''
-->-- Film/TheWeddingPlanner
23rd Feb '16 5:33:59 PM Loekman3
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--->'''Mojo:''' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not constantly reiterate, repeat, recite the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To the point!

to:

--->'''Mojo:''' ->'''Mojo:''' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not constantly reiterate, repeat, recite the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To the point!
23rd Feb '16 5:32:51 PM Loekman3
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Added DiffLines:

--->'''Mojo:''' I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different! I do not constantly reiterate, repeat, recite the same thing over and over again! I am clear! Concise! To the point!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerPuffGirls''
4th Jan '16 1:58:38 PM nombretomado
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-->-- ''PearlsBeforeSwine''

to:

-->-- ''PearlsBeforeSwine''
''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine''
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.HypocriticalHumor