History Quotes / FridgeLogic

->''After a while Jeannie came in and I read to her. She herself could not read, and she thoroughly enjoyed the story about the princess who was so unkind that toads and snakes fell out of her mouth when she talked, and her sister who was so loving that pearls and roses fell out of'' her ''mouth.

->"Were the pearls and roses actually'' in ''her mouth," Jeannie wanted to know, "and if so, how did they get out?" I had been wondering the same thing myself. Juniper would have known the answer.''

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]

->'''Glen:''' Well shit, man, I guess that's why they call it a "way-homer."\\
'''Hi:''' Why's that?\\
'''Glen:''' Cause you only get it on the way home.
-->-- ''Film/RaisingArizona''

[[/folder]]

-->-- ''Series/{{Castle}}'', "The Last Call"

->''"Your parents thought they were stimulating your mind, but in fact they were starting the sludge-buildup process, not realizing that every cretinous word they put into your brain would stay there FOREVER, so that decades later you'd find yourself waking up in the middle of the night wondering: Why? WHY did she cut off their tails with a carving knife?''

->I see now that my plan didn't make much sense.

->'''Richard Castle''': Perfect place for a murder. No one can hear you scream.\\
'''Kate Beckett''': No one can help you carry the body up the stairs either.\\
'''Richard Castle''': Maybe somebody marched Donny at gunpoint down to the river and killed him there.\\
'''Kate Beckett''': If he had a gun, why would he use a bottle [to kill the victim]?\\
'''Richard Castle''': Don't ruin my story with your logic!

->Wait a minute. How did they open the car door?

->Which if you think about it rationally is absurd, but you get too involved to think rationally

->Your parents thought they were stimulating your mind, but in fact they were starting the sludge-buildup process, not realizing that every cretinous word they put into your brain would stay there FOREVER, so that decades later you'd find yourself waking up in the middle of the night wondering: ''Why? WHY did she cut off their tails with a carving knife?''

->It's charming until you realize how many [[BigBrotherIsWatching hidden cameras]] this guy must have set up to [[CovertPervert get all this footage.]]
-->--'''Bill Corbett''' Podcast/RiffTrax: ''Film/BatmanAndRobin''

->''These are the kinds of things I think of when I'm sitting home alone and the television is broken.''

->''There's one line in one scene at the start of the movie to explain the entire apocalypse. And it's not even repeated or alluded to. Just one line... It's India. It's a monsoon. A man arrives, clearly in a hurry. He's wearing a suit. He's got a small bag. He's rushed to be here. He's a scientist, he's meeting another scientist. [...] This guy, a physicist, turns to the other physicist and without any shame or compunction goes: "The neutrinos have mutated'' and they're heating up the planet''!"''\\

''[Insert [[ArtisticLicensePhysics lengthy rant about how scientifically impossible]] this is.]''\\

''At the end of the movie, they're on a boat. It's a new dawn. Everyone's survived. Everyone in the cinema got up and walked out. I was the only idiot in the Curzon on Leicester Square with his arm up going "Eh,'' '''what happened to the fucking neutrinos'''''?!" A week ago, they had "mutated" and were "heating up the planet"; how did ''that'' change all of a sudden?''

->Is the long part its trunk or its neck? How does it bathe itself? An utterly mysterious Chimera.

->By the time you figure out what was wrong with that, it won't matter anymore!

->'''Seppel''': Wait a minute! What was [[WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls Professor Utonium]] doing making little girls in the first place?!\\

'''Misteroo''': Ew.

->Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot.

->It's a lot like the iron boots in modern 3D ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' games: you have these 200kg boots in your inventory; you're swimming in water; you open the menu and choose to put the boots 'on'; you sink to the bottom of the water. Are the boots only heavy when they're on your feet? (Maybe [[AWizardDidIt they're magical]].)

->''If they're both falling straight back and they had just finished [having sex] prior to the cut to the scene (which is what's strongly implied), then they should be falling straight back in parallel, with her directly on top of him. Or maybe side by side, with one of them rolling or sliding off.\\
But they're not parallel. They're at a roughly 45 degree angle to each other, with an intersection point around the centre of her chest. That would mean their genitals are not even roughly close to one another, it's clear that there was no mouth contact, and from a position like that, even hand contact would be awkward. I suppose they could have been masturbating together, but why would they do that in a position where neither one could see anything?''

->Wait a second, if their mission is to proliferate their DNA through procreation, why is there [[TokenMinority a gay guy]] in the group?!

->'''Android 17''': Holy shit, you're an android! How did you even do that?\\
'''Dr. Gero''': I took my brain out and put it into this body.\\
'''Android 18''': ..''How?''\\
'''Dr. Gero''': I...huh. How did I do that?

->How the hell does that guy owe money?! He has a magic lever that can force people to lose everything! Marry into money? ''Why?!'' You have God's personal money tree! Th-Th-There's not even any complicated controls! It's just "Win" and "Lose"! Is it only targeted to Fred?! Can it be targeted to other people?! Is there a remote-controlled chip inside everybody's mind that he somehow has control over that can win or lose or...?! This whole movie should be about ''how that lever works!''

->Listen, the more you think about this concept, the more survival solutions you're gonna find, and I'm gonna need you to get off my back about all of them.

->The longer we stand here, the more people are going to question how a fisherman with no engineering background was able to build a sophisticated talking fish robot.

->Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

'''Zoidberg''': [[BigNo Nooooooo!]] My home! It burned down! How did this happen?\\
'''Hermes''': That's a very good question.\\
'''Bender''': ''[Retrieving a lit cigar from the ashes]'' So that's where my I left my cigar.\\
'''Hermes''': [[VoodooShark That just raises further questions!]]

->Wait a second... if the pit is bottomless, how exactly are you going to fill it with water?

'''Mung''': Oh, golly... Why did I even put that poison in the spice cabinet in the first place?!\\

'''Mung''': ...Oh, yeah, that's right...

->Where does [[Series/SesameStreet Oscar the Grouch]] go to the bathroom? These things keep me up at night.

[[folder:Music]]

->''So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it\\
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway\\
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?\\
[...]\\
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now\\
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?''
-->--'''Music/{{Eminem}},''' ''Stan''

[[/folder]]

-->'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''Carlin on Campus''

-->'''Creator/DaraOBriain''' is not fond of ''Film/TwoThousandTwelve''

''At the end of the movie, they're on a boat. It's a new dawn. Everyone's survived. Everyone in the cinema got up and walked out. I was the only idiot in the Curzon on Leicester Square with his arm up going "Eh,'' what happened to the fucking neutrinos''?!" A week ago, they had "mutated and were heating up the planet"; how did ''that'' change all of a sudden?''

->Uh, waitaminute, what about this: What if they're eating in an ''airplane'', and they cross a timezone? I mean, it's always midnight somewhere! Hehehe! ([[TakeThatAudience gets mauled by Mohawk]])
-->--'''Technician''', ''Film/Gremlins2TheNewBatch''

->'''Mobster 1''': Take Vampire movies. Why are they always set in L.A. or Mexico? They can't even get a tan. If I was a bloodsucker, I'd move to the North Pole. Winter's one looong night.\\
'''Mobster 2''': Yeah, what would ya eat? Suck blood from pengiuns?\\
'''Mobster 1''': Nah. Eskimos, man, Eskimos.
-->--''VideoGame/MaxPayne''

->Scooby, sure. But a whole ''race'' of [[TalkingAnimal talking Great Danes]]? [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} Something is rotten in the State of Denmark.]]''
-->--'''[[AuthorAvatar Me]]''' on [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo Scrappy Doo]], ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic''

->The all-concrete room you're in suddenly erupts into flames. (I don't know how either, but go with me) The fire doors slam shut locking you in with the flames.\\\
A: Notify someone in order to have the strangely designed doors opened.\\
B: Crack the glass and stick a hose through it with which you can put out the flames\\
C: Go to a linen closet, [[ChainsawGood find a chainsaw]] (!) and proceed to saw through the two inch thick steel fire doors, thereby freeing you.\\\
Well obviously the answer is C. Everybody knows that chainsaws are in abundance on a cruise ship, I mean, trees can come out of nowhere in the ocean. And everybody also knows they'll cut through two inch steel like paper. Duh!
-->--'''Chris Parry''' on ''Film/Speed2CruiseControl''

->''This'' is what it's all about! We brought it back to Earth, where the dangers are more advanced! [beat] They're the ''same'' dangers, but...evolved to even more effectively kill humans! Who haven't actually been there for 1,000 years! I'm fairly confident that [[HollywoodEvolution things can evolve to kill other things that they don't share a planet with.]]
-->--''Film/AfterEarth'' - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dxAZD7Wr_M M. Knight Deleted Commentary]]

->As Zack admits to the scam, Major Slater produces a (disarmed) hand grenade and [[ScareEmStraight pulls the pin]], causing Zack to dive for cover... but with his life in immediate danger, why didn't he [[FourthWallObserver call a Time-Out?]] No, Millard, stop it. Don't think about it, or you'll drive yourself crazy.
-->--'''Stuart Millard''' on ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' ("Aloha Slater"), ''So Excited, So Scared''