The Doctor: Oh... my... GOD!!! Ah... It's bigger...!
River: Well, yes.
The Doctor: On the inside...!
River: But we need to concentrate.
The Doctor: Than it is...!
River: Yes, I know where you're going with this. But I need you to calm down.
The Doctor: On the outside!
River: Well, you've certainly grasped the essentials.
The Doctor: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown into the air, and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed... forever. Sorry... I've always wanted to see that done properly.
River: Well, yes.
The Doctor: On the inside...!
River: But we need to concentrate.
The Doctor: Than it is...!
River: Yes, I know where you're going with this. But I need you to calm down.
The Doctor: On the outside!
River: Well, you've certainly grasped the essentials.
The Doctor: My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown into the air, and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed... forever. Sorry... I've always wanted to see that done properly.
Flemming: So, where is the Doctor now?
River: I haven't the faintest idea.
Flemming: Is that credible?
River: It's true.
Flemming: You're the woman he loves.
River: No I'm not.
Flemming: She's lying!
River: The Doctor does not, and has never, loved me. I'm not lying.
King Hydroflax's Body: CONFIRMED. THE LIFE-FORM IS NOT LYING.
Flemming: I-im-impossible. This is a trick!
River: No it isn't.
Flemming: My information is correct! You are the woman who loves the Doctor!
River: Yes, I am. I've never denied it. But who ever said he loved me back? He's the Doctor. He doesn't go around falling in love with people! And if you think he's anything that small, or that ordinary, then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with!
Flemming: Your majesty, I assure you, she is the perfect bait. When this woman is in danger, the Doctor will always come.
River: Oh, you are a moron! No he won't.
Flemming: He's probably already here!
River: No, he isn't, of course he isn't!
Flemming: Possibly on this ship!
River: Well go on, scan it then! Go on, why don't you?!
The Doctor: Uh, River...
River: Two hearts! Stupid clothes! You can't miss him!
The Doctor: River!
River: Go on! Scan the whole parsec! He's not here! God knows where he is right now, but I promise you, he's doing whatever the hell he wants, and not giving a damn about me! And I'm just fine with that!
The Doctor: River.
River: When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves! You don't expect a sunset to admire you back! And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!
River turns to where the Doctor is standing. She looks at him. He looks at her. He smiles.
The Doctor: Hello, Sweetie.
River's face shifts into mortified silence, then...
River: You are so doing those roots.
The Doctor: The roots of the sunset?
River: Don't you dare.
The Doctor: I'll have to check with the stars themselves.
River: I haven't the faintest idea.
Flemming: Is that credible?
River: It's true.
Flemming: You're the woman he loves.
River: No I'm not.
Flemming: She's lying!
River: The Doctor does not, and has never, loved me. I'm not lying.
King Hydroflax's Body: CONFIRMED. THE LIFE-FORM IS NOT LYING.
Flemming: I-im-impossible. This is a trick!
River: No it isn't.
Flemming: My information is correct! You are the woman who loves the Doctor!
River: Yes, I am. I've never denied it. But who ever said he loved me back? He's the Doctor. He doesn't go around falling in love with people! And if you think he's anything that small, or that ordinary, then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with!
Flemming: Your majesty, I assure you, she is the perfect bait. When this woman is in danger, the Doctor will always come.
River: Oh, you are a moron! No he won't.
Flemming: He's probably already here!
River: No, he isn't, of course he isn't!
Flemming: Possibly on this ship!
River: Well go on, scan it then! Go on, why don't you?!
The Doctor: Uh, River...
River: Two hearts! Stupid clothes! You can't miss him!
The Doctor: River!
River: Go on! Scan the whole parsec! He's not here! God knows where he is right now, but I promise you, he's doing whatever the hell he wants, and not giving a damn about me! And I'm just fine with that!
The Doctor: River.
River: When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves! You don't expect a sunset to admire you back! And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!
River turns to where the Doctor is standing. She looks at him. He looks at her. He smiles.
The Doctor: Hello, Sweetie.
River's face shifts into mortified silence, then...
River: You are so doing those roots.
The Doctor: The roots of the sunset?
River: Don't you dare.
The Doctor: I'll have to check with the stars themselves.
The Doctor: We need to get to work!
River: Okay, what have you got?
The Doctor: Four exits, two concealed, and one in the ceiling.
River: There's also one in the floor.
The Doctor: No, I don't like it.
River: Too close to the engine ducts?
The Doctor: Bit too tight.
River: Oh, I hope you're not being personal.
Flemming: Excuse me, what are you talking about?
River: Hush, Mummy and Daddy are busy.
The clock strikes two.
River: There we are: two o'clock. Here we go.
King Hydroflax's Body: CEASE THIS CONVERSATION!
River: Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor strike on the lower starboard decks, where would you say is the safest place to stand?
Flemming: Meteor strike?
The Doctor: Exactly here, I should think.
River: Do you know what that isn't? A coincidence.
The Doctor: Your escape plan.
River: It's cheaper than a taxi.
Scratch: What meteor strike?
Computer: Alert: Meteor storm imminent.
River: That meteor strike.
Flemming: How could you know?
River: I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.
The whole ship starts shaking as it is hit by the first meteors.
River: See you in four hundred years!
River: Okay, what have you got?
The Doctor: Four exits, two concealed, and one in the ceiling.
River: There's also one in the floor.
The Doctor: No, I don't like it.
River: Too close to the engine ducts?
The Doctor: Bit too tight.
River: Oh, I hope you're not being personal.
Flemming: Excuse me, what are you talking about?
River: Hush, Mummy and Daddy are busy.
The clock strikes two.
River: There we are: two o'clock. Here we go.
King Hydroflax's Body: CEASE THIS CONVERSATION!
River: Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor strike on the lower starboard decks, where would you say is the safest place to stand?
Flemming: Meteor strike?
The Doctor: Exactly here, I should think.
River: Do you know what that isn't? A coincidence.
The Doctor: Your escape plan.
River: It's cheaper than a taxi.
Scratch: What meteor strike?
Computer: Alert: Meteor storm imminent.
River: That meteor strike.
Flemming: How could you know?
River: I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.
The whole ship starts shaking as it is hit by the first meteors.
River: See you in four hundred years!
[River and the Doctor compare spouses other than each other:]
River: Elizabeth the First!
The Doctor: Ramone!
River: Marilyn Monroe!
The Doctor: Stephen Fry!
River: Cleopatra!
The Doctor: Same thing!
River: Elizabeth the First!
The Doctor: Ramone!
River: Marilyn Monroe!
The Doctor: Stephen Fry!
River: Cleopatra!
The Doctor: Same thing!
The Doctor: What do you think of the towers?
River: I love them.
The Doctor: Then why are you ignoring them?
River: They're ignoring me. But then, you can't expect a monolith to love you back.
The Doctor: No, you can't.
River: I love them.
The Doctor: Then why are you ignoring them?
River: They're ignoring me. But then, you can't expect a monolith to love you back.
The Doctor: No, you can't.
River: So, assuming tonight is all we have left—
The Doctor: I didn't say that.
River: How long is a night on Darillium?
The Doctor: (Smiles smugly.) Twenty-four years.
River gasps with relief.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No you don't.
The Doctor: I didn't say that.
River: How long is a night on Darillium?
The Doctor: (Smiles smugly.) Twenty-four years.
River gasps with relief.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No you don't.
