Memorable quotes by the Chracters and Players
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General Quotes
"It's fine. Don't worry about it."
— DMP catchphrase
"Oh my god, [Insert Huge Donor of Bit]"
— Every time someone donated a huge amount of bits
"But why does the Seer always die first?"
— DMP Song
Murder God: It's Vincent Reid!
Vincent: Fuck you.
— Summary of almost every single time Murder God introduces Vincent in each scenario
"You have ten minutes"
— Time limit to find the murderers
Quotes from Season 1
Episode 1
Intro
Juno: Kristen did you skip Split?
Kristen/Murder God: I did skip Split. I am the worst...
Alex: YOU SKIP THE SPLIT!
Scott: You split the skip?
Uprising?: You split the skip than split!
— Split being skipped
Scenario 1: Were-Corgis in Villagington
JoJo: I'm sorry for killing all the innocent people.
Murder God: No, you're not.
— Ending
Scenario 2: Reality Island
Episode 2 - This Time It's Personal
Intro
Scenario 1: Chair Meeting Gone Wrong
"Pick a god and pray!"
— Frederick's last words
Scenario 2: Action Con
Episode 3 - Wait, There's a Plot?
Intro
Murder God: There's also a gunsman. The gunsman acts as a normal player unless they die, and when they die, they go out in a blazing glory and they kill someone else.
Scott: Wait, did you actually give it a name this time. Not just the gun person-
Murder God: OH NO I MESSED IT UP! WE HAVE TO END THE WHOLE STREAM NOW! It's ruined.
Alex: Well Goodnight Everybody.
— Role Explanation Ruined
Scenario 1: Magazine Magazine News
"Hi, my name is Danielle Michaels. I do design. Don’t talk to be me."
— Danielle's intro
"Well, hello there. My name is Dr. McGillicutty. I am the chief ressource for any medical inquiries that Cosmo needs. And I’m also the fifth out of five doctors that never agrees with the rest. Hwat, Hwat, Hwat."
— Dr. McGillicutty's intro
Scenario 2: Cyberpunk is Still Cool in 2018, right?
Scenario 3: Reality Island 2: The Reality-ing
Episode 4 - Always Remember The Hot Tub
Intro
Scenario 1: Hospital MD
"Well hello, I'm Dr. McGillicutty, and, holy shit, I actually fit this scenario"
— Dr. McGillicutty's introduction
"Ok, well, everyone you know my name is *Ambulance Siren*, but everyone just calls me NURSE!"
— NURSE's introduction
Dr. Grandor: Look McGillicutty, we've been associates for years. I have surpassed you each time, this is not the time to bring back our rivalry
Dr. McGillicutty: But have you forgotten the Hot Tub, my good man.
Dr. Grandor: Oh no.
NURSE: I know I haven't, that's for damn sure.
Dr. Grandor: Oh, how fucking dare you.
NURSE: I still have the tapes
Intercom Joe: General staff reminder, this tape will be played in the recreation room.
— Probably the source of the episode title
"I can't believe you're replacing me with my hotter sister!"
— NURSE
Intercom Joe: And the door opens I would like to say something!
Dr. Grandor: Joe!
NURSE: Joe!?
Dr. Grandor: We haven't seen you in years!
NURSE: I thought you were dead!
Intercom Joe: I literally just spoke over the intercom.
Intercom Joe: Yes, I have been effectively working my job as intercom man for several years. The man on the intercom if you will.
Alex: Get out of my stream
"But maybe, maybe he killed John the patient, over there, who's been around since season 5. And yet, we've never cured him of his debilitating Hepatitis!"
— Joe about John
NURSE: Natasha! Natasha, speak to me!
Natasha Kcuf: I am sorry for killing the dog
— Natasha's last words
Scenario 2: Inertia Pines aka How Much can I reference Gravity Falls and Twin Peaks before we get sued
Episode 6 - You Can't Save Them All. You Can't Save Anyone
Scenario 1: Internet Remix High
Scenario 2: War of Some Kind
"My name is Vincent Marshall Reid!"
Episode 7 - Let's Try Again...
The bit ruined Intro
"Can we please do the fucking show?"
— Split
"God, we love you guys, but geeeeeeeeeezz!"
— JoJo
Scenario 1: Panic! At the Murder Party
Scenario 2: YELL
Episode 9 – Put The Pieces Together
Intro
Scenario 1: Contractually Obligated Beach Episode
Murder God: Vinny, yay or nay?
Vincent: Fuck you!
— The Murder God asks Vincent for his vote on the leader role
Scenario 2: Murder Mystery Party Goes According To Plan
"I've been eliminated from the game twice early, I hate this"
— Scott, after being eliminated
Duchess Katerine: Madeline, that's not how you talk to your friends!
Madeline Gavin: Uh... I only just met the man.
Duchess Katerine: I thought we were all friends the moment we walked into this room. Isn't that how walking into a room works?
— DMP Headcanon?
"I wanna point out, you got...uh, her...like, Priscilla's body is definitely awkwardly pushed to the side, like on the table still... It's very uncomfortable.
— Murder God about Priscilla's body
"So, so many questions Miss Gavin. Who? What? Why? Questions, questions, questions! Isn't your job to figure it out, to put the pieces together? Why haven't you yet, DETECTIVE?!
— Dr. McGillicutty's talk leading to the awakening
Grace Gardens: Wait before-
Murder God: What?
Grace Gardens: Before you, I assume, put us into another loop, tell me...
Murder God: Yes?
Grace Gardens: Why did you bring me here, when I didn't make a wish?
Murder God: Oh. But you did. *snaps fingers*
Episode 10 - ...And You Still Get Something Broken
Intro
Murder God: We've got an Alex.
Alex: Are you quite sure?
Murder God: How many times are you going to ask me this?
Alex: As many times as I can find a valid transformation of that same question.
Murder God: We've got an Uprising.
Uprising: I don't have anything clever to say.
JoJo: That's clever.
Murder God: My life...
Uprising: That's like a really- Like crappy bumper stick
Alex: SplitGuardian, he's not proud of you.
Split: I'm not.
Scenario 1: THIS IS A WESTERN
"Well you'll have to forgive me I was given a sheet I had to read of, uh... *clears throat* Howdy, y'all. I am known among these here parts as Sheriff Grace Garden. If you get on the wrong side of this here law, I will bust a cap in your ass, y'all"
— Grace's introduction in a very monotone voice.
Scenario 2: Higurashi Koro No Kristen Plz I Can't Spell This
"I can paint over the cracks, but they're still there. It's a shame you can see them again"
— Murder God talking to Grace
Ending
Episode 11 - The Trusty Worm that Dieth Not
Intro
Scenario 1: Micheal Bay
"Bwah! This summer. Bwaah! Something's coming. BWAAAH! Something big. BWAAAAAAH *Loud noise to reference movie trailers covered by laughter*. Summer blockbuster action movie, directed by me, Murder Bay! Get ready for mediocre white brand heroes, because this is for you target audience of teenage boys, their sexy lady love interest who doesn't deserve this shit, a few minorities thrown in for flavour and more tinly tale U.S. Army as the new estate atnote "
— Murder God introducing the scenario
Scenario 2: Pirates and stuff like that
"Yar, ooh, we ladies be messin' if gettin' he can steal the booty of Gracie of the Glen, the Scottish piratenote ... Forgive me, cause the sheet told me to read it in a Scottish accent."
— Grace's introduction as Gracie of the Glen
"Aye, lads and lasses. Here, uh- Here, Imma... Immma rats scand- I'm just making up words as I'm going along, but I take inspiration from the famous pirate Mary Read and Anne Bonny. That's right. I expose my breast during battle!"
— Sif's introduction
Sif: Yeah! Chef?
Chef: Chef be quiet, Chef make soup
— A follow up to Sif's introduction
Murder God: Lastly, we've got my dear, dear favourite person in the worl-
Vincent: Just stop, go fuck yourself. Why are we on a boat?
Murder God: Uh... Because we're on a boat motherfucker, on a motherfucking boat. Anyway this is Vincent Reid.
— Vincent's introduction
"Either way, uh, someone's going to... *paper noise* uh... walk the plank- why did I write that- You're definitely going to stab them. Nobody's walking the plank, that's not going to happen."
— Murder God
Vincent: *Still seasick* Just don't go in the water, you'll be fine-
Murder God: Yeah, yeah, don't go in the water. Uh... Vincent Reid.
Vincent: Uh... Sorry, I'm blanking out on this one- Wait! Why am I apologizing to you? Fuck you, do whatever
Murder God: Are you voting for, uh, murdering Filthy Frederick or not?
Vincent: Murdering? That's not my role.
Murder God: *Sigh* For hanging, for lynching! The thing where you vote for the murderer!
Vincent: Oh, oh, oh!
Murder God: Just focus, please!
Vincent: You mean push him off the plank.
Murder God: No, I'm not doing that-
Vincent: Yeah, let's push him off the plank.
Tommy's backstory
Episode 12 - Time For Some Rewriting
The Veeeeerrrrryyyyy Looooooonnnnnnnggggg Intro (Ruined by bits)
Murder God: We've got an Alex.
Alex: For once, you do.
Murder God: Ah... uh... what, wait, uh... Fuck why! You threw me off. Ok. You monster. I regret this, I regret this entire summer, I regret everything.
Alex: Game over!
Split: Start over! Take it from the top, bring us back to the intro!
Murder God: We've got a Scott
Scott: Yes, again. I am here again.
Murder God: Oh ok... *Loud sigh*
Scott: Would you like me to go three for three, I can do that.
Split: Alright! Let's go three for threes: Scott, everybody.
Scott: Thank you, thank you.
Murder God: Guys! Please!
— Scott introduce three times
Murder God: We've got an Adric.
Adric: I exist.
Murder God: You do exist. We've got an Uprising.
Uprising: Um... I don't actually think I exist.
Murder God: Are you- uh, oh...uh...fuck...
— Does Uprising exist?
"Alex I'm defecting to Team Murder, sorry."
— Scott after hearing about Team Murder's victory
Scenario 1: Camp Streamix (It's the finale and we gotta)
Murder God: Uh, hey Vinny! You have another friendship bracelet-
JoJo: BE HAPPY!
— JoJo is adorable
Scenario 2: The Matchelor
"I AM DEDEDECEASED"
— Dedede after his death
"I wipe my ass with 21 billion!"
— Hugh Jacough
The Season 1 Finale
"Poor little Murder God, always so eager to push back against ANYTHING that doesn't go her way. I used to be a control freak myself, that doesn't really work in the field of science. You just have to observe and report. So unscientific and yet HERE YOU ARE Murder God, you're so formulaic! Something goes wrong and you fly off into a rage, you threaten people to stop pushing, promise them eternities of pain. Oh and before you say anything, let me guess, you were going to tell me to shut up. You were going to pull out a knife and threaten to send me to a thousand years of pain. Let me tell you from experience, it loses it's luster after the thousandth time."
— Doctor McGillicutty calls out the Murder God
“How. Dare. You. I am the Void given breath, I am the empty chasm in your chest. I am the sky of black stars and the aching drop of the abyss. I am (I believe somewhere around here is where she got cut off) your final breathless moments where the world spins and you are utterly, truly alone. I am the final equation that states in the end you all reach zero, you are nothing, absolutely nothing but dirt beneath my heels. How DARE you spit upon anything I give you, how dare you spit on the order of things, how dare you how dare you HOW DARE YOU? You know nothing of eternity, doctor, you know nothing of anything, NONE OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING! If pain means nothing to you then SO BE IT, because that’s all you fucking are anyway, you’re nothing, that’s all you all are, that’s all any of this is, it’s all nothing, you’re all— get out, get out get out ALL OF YOU GET OUT! SNAP Ha. Hahaha.. Hahahahahahahhaaaa okay… okay…. Okay. It’s fine. This is fine. Everything is fine. My writing is good, it's all I have. It’s good, it’s fine, shut up, I’m fine. This is okay. I just. It’s just the first draft... haha, everyone’s got to edit things sometimes. It’s fine. Haha. Okay. I just have to do a little rewriting. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. *SNAP*”
— Murder God's ending monologue
Quotes from Season 2
Episode 2 - A Hell of a Show
Scenario 1: Discord Murder Party: The Musical
Break
Scenario 2: Everyone Loves The Circus
"At least you're on brand this time"
— Abbout Fumbo the Stabbing clown
"HONEY LET ME DIE GODDAMN"
— Trixie to Minx
Aftermath
Episode 6: Wolves Among Sheep
Intro
Scenario 1: Gate
Break
Scenario 2: Wild and CRAAAAZY Game Show
"It's my Ol-Crack"
— Olmac
Aftermath
Episode 9: What To Do About Christine?
Intro
Scenario 1: fuck it, time for a Beach Episode
"So very important.....Do we pee?"
- — Junior is asking the real questions
