Quotes: Cringe Comedy

"And I don't want to fail. I mean, that's a really important point in this story, is that these are good people, and I want to succeed for them, but I just can't, you know. And so I think to myself, 'Why don't I cater my material to this specific event.'
And everyone has been talking about cancer.
[audience groans]
I know. I'm in the future also."
Mike Birbiglia, My Secret Public Journal

"The Brazil-Germany semifinal match. If you have not yet watch this match, you really ought to. Even if you donít much care for soccer. Itís not because there are a lot of goals. Itís not because itís literally historic in that it is the biggest win in a World Cup semifinal or final ever or the worst defeat Brazil have ever suffered. Ever.

No, itís because the game was pretty well over at 30 minutes in and yet there was still 60 minutes to play and that gave the ESPN commentators the chance to make some of the darkest funniest jokes at Brazilís expense I have ever heard in a World Cup Game. Whether it be asking the players to leave the pitch if they werenít even going to run around the pitch or talking about magical tunnels that teleported players to Topeka so the players wouldnít be murdered by fans, the commentators put on an hour comedy special at the expense of the once favored nation to win the World Cup. It was quite honestly the best birthday present Iíve had in a great number of years."
Sadly, No! on the 2014 World Cup