Quotes / Crazy Memory

I used to be an Asian Boy Scout, once! Wasn't that a weird week?
Chester A. Bum, Up review

Bart: Is that story true, Grampa?
Abe: Well, most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the forties. Oh, they had designers then!
He would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark.
Dr. Evil, discussing his father in, Austin Powers International Man of Mystery

Arnold: Grandpa, you did not fight Adolf Hitler. You're making this all up.
Grandpa: Heh heh heh. Okay, you got me. I made that part up. Pretty funny, huh? ...It was Goebbels.

JD: Was any of that true?
Janitor: I don't know. Someone would have to read it back to me.
Scrubs, after the janitor just made a rant about his own life

Gir: That's when the giant squirrel showed up!
Host: Don't you mean Dib showed up?
Gir: No! The squirrel showed up first, then Dib showed up. And then the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head. Then the squirrel flew away! After that he went back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys!
Gir's "Eyewitness Account" of Dib's alien footage on Mysterious Mysteries, Invader Zim