Quotes / Catch-22 Dilemma

"So, you're saying I can't buy shoes... because I don't have shoes?!"

— Fred Flintstone, Cartoon Network Ad Bumper

Josh: Drake?
Drake: ...What?
Josh: Where's the door hole?
Drake: It goes right there, see? I... drew it with Magic Marker.
Josh: (beat) You were supposed to cut it out with the power saw!
Drake: Dude, I'm gonna!
Josh: Oh, really?!
Drake: Yes!
Josh: ...So, go get the power saw.
Drake: Okay, I will! (scoffs; runs into wall and frantically observes his surroundings) ...I see the problem.
Josh: Oh, do ya'?!

— Drake & Josh, "Tree House"

Child: Okay... but I'll be able to get a job?
Adult: No, you need experience to get a job. This isn't going to give you experience.
Child: Well, how do I get experience?
Adult: You need to get a job.
Child: (groans in disbelief)

— Ryan George, The First Guy To Ever Open A School

"So, how do we fix all this? Well, first, this is clearly an absurd way to operate a healthcare system. And for the umpteenth time, I'd argue single-payer healthcare is the way to go. Unfortunately, we can't get that, because it's very high up on a shelf. I don't know who left it there, but they must’ve been tall because it is way too high to reach. And if you're thinking, 'why not use a ladder?' The ladder's also on the shelf. It's a really frustrating situation."

— John Oliver, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, on American mental healthcare

"I said, 'My card is not working. Can I pay for it in here?' And she said, 'Actually, the terminal's down; it's rebooting. Can you pay with cash?' I said, 'I don't have any cash,' and she said, 'Well, you'll just have to wait.' […] And she said, 'Umm, alright, look. Just go and move your RV,' and I said, 'I'll stop you there. It's got no gas in it.' Which is the only reason I'm here right now!"

— Randy Feltface, "Smug Druggles"

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