->Have you ever enjoyed a book so much you wish you could make sweet, sweet love to it? That's how I feel about most Creator/StephenKing novels.
-->-- Anon

->Good news, everyone! [[JustifiedTrope I've taught the toaster to feel love!]]
-->-- '''Professor Farnsworth''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->The milk is now on my bed. Guess where this is going~
-->-- '''Nyx Sparkle''', ''Blog/{{Bronyism}}''

->All I'm saying, Jon, is that I want to be sodomized by your Constitution.
-->-- '''John Oliver''' declares he is gay for America, ''Series/TheDailyShow''

->'''Sarah Jane''': Does he still... ''stroke'' parts of the TARDIS?\\
'''Rose''': Yes! Yes! I'm like, "Do you two want to be left alone?"
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "School Reunion"

->'''Fenris:''' The way you fondle your weapon is disturbing.\\
'''Varric:''' Hey, I'm a perfect gentleman! In public.
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->'''Merrill:''' Does your bow [[ICallItVera have a name]]? Varric's bow has a name.\\
'''Sebastian:''' I'm afraid I can't compete with our dear dwarf's... relationship to his weapon.
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->''(In a conversation about {{Safe Word}}s)''\\
'''Inquisitor:''' What about Varric? Wait, don't tell me -- [[AutomaticCrossbows Bianca]].\\
'''Iron Bull:''' Ha! No, it would have to be something he ''wouldn't'' shout during sex.
-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition''

->'''Shizuo:''' Not that I havenít heard people say "I love you" to me, but I donít even know if they counted as women or not.\\
'''Tom:''' Hmm? Have you been going to gay bars or transsexual clubs?\\
'''Shizuo:''' No, thatís not what I meant. I mean, they hardly counted as ''humans'' to begin with. More like sharp objects...
-->-- A discussion about Shizuo's rather unusual love life, ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}''

->'''Aby:''' No, the truth is I'm married to my work!\\
'''Kell:''' Um... did you ever have a formal ceremony?\\
'''Aby:''' (''blinks at Kell'')\\
'''Newspaper:''' Aby Eyeshine to Wed Her Career.
-->-- ''WebComic/KevinAndKell''

->'''Snake:''' ''You'' should come inside [[CompanionCube the box]], then you'll know what I mean.\\
'''Sigint:''' [[ScreamingAtSquick Man, I don't even wanna know what you mean!]]
-->-- ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater''

->''Dear [=MisSim=],\\
I'm having a problem with Debra, my computer. We used to be sweet friends - we would hang out, work, play, you know, just have a warm time.\\
But as of late I find myself spending more and more time with Debra, and less and less time with Patricia, my wife who is now full of trepidation because of my bond with Debra. It's not as if I don't love Patricia - the wife - any more, but she just doesn't interest me the same way as Debra does. And I can't just boot Patricia out. Any suggestions?\\
Signed, Teched Out''\\
Dear Teched,\\
Get your wife a mouse and maybe you'll feel different about her.
-->-- "Man Loves Computer", ''VideoGame/SimCity 2000'' newspaper

->"The Maria Narcissa is a BOAT."\\
"So was the last girl you set me up with..."
-->-- ''VideoGame/SplinterCellChaosTheory''

->'''Captain Kirk:''' ...and then there was [[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Carol]]. I was on the fast track for command... but the way I felt about her... I was almost ready to give it all up... almost.\\
'''Xill:''' So why are you here? Where is she?\\
'''Captain Kirk:''' That's a complicated story. But the memory of her drives me to try harder with the new female in my life... the ''Enterprise''.\\
'''Xill:''' Your ship is your girlfriend? Creepy...
-->-- ''[[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Star Trek]] The Manga - Shinsei Shinsei - Orphans''

->I have never understood the human compulsion to emotionally bond with inanimate objects.
-->-- '''Tuvok''', ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Year of Hell, Part II"

->I put my Website/MySpace sexuality status to "not sure" mostly because I just love that that's an option. Who is that for? Who is so confused about their sexuality that they have no idea? Is it some guy who's saying "Dude, I just jerked off to my stove. What was that all about?"
-->-- '''Nick Swardson'''

->'''Doctor Mrs. The Monarch:''' What the hell is that ''thing'' doing in our bed? Get it out of there!\\
'''The Monarch:''' (''smacks her hand away'') Don't you [[SoundEffectBleep f ***ing]] touch her! \\
'''Doctor Mrs. The Monarch:''' Whoa. What's the matter with you?\\
'''Monarch:''' You're just jealous! That's what's going on here! You - you never supported me and [[SkySurfing Butter-Glider!]] EVER!\\
'''Doctor Mrs. The Monarch:''' Okay, wow. I wrote this off as some kinda midlife crisis kinda thing, but this, this is - they don't even have a name for what this is!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers''

->Kissing Stapler: The first in a line of office supplies for lonely workers.
-->-- ''VideoGame/WarioLandShakeIt''

->Why, hello there! This mic is zetta sexy!
-->-- '''Sho Minamimoto''', ''VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou''

->Nobody comes between me and my Blue-Eyes! And anyone foolish enough to try pays the price!
-->-- '''Seto Kaiba''', ''Anime/YuGiOh''

->'''Guy:''' "Ha! What do you know about love anyway? You don't even HAVE a girlfriend!"
->'''Dekar:''' "My love is my sword!"
->'''Guy:''' "If you ask me, you should stay away from thoughts like that."
-->-- ''VideoGame/LufiaIIRiseOfTheSinistrals''

->''Here you've drawn me having sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower... the Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me... the both of us relaxing, post-coitus. I'm crying and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it- did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?!''
-->-- '''Spy''', ''[[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 Expiration Date]]''

->"Let us not lead to judgement, Dear Lord, but if it appearth that my fellow policeperson haveth an unnatural affair with her tank, forgive her. Amen."
-->-- '''Chaplain''', ''Anime/DominionTankPolice''

->Whoa, Bender are you and the ship... an item, I mean I know your both items but....
-->-- '''Fry''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

->''"if you 'accidentally' spill an entire 7-11 big gulp on a sears mannequin they will throw it out and you can go have sex with it in the trasg"''
-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/dril/status/862028717471739905 @dril]]'''