Frodo: We are Hobbits of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name, and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.
"I say, what a wonderful butler! He's so violent!"
—The Fourth Doctor, Doctor Who, "(City of Death")
"Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated. May I take your coat?"
—Strax, Doctor Who ("The Snowmen")
"I pride myself I used to give somewhat more than I got if we needed to discuss the vexed area of turf issues with the young men from Rope Street. Stevedore's hooks were their weapon of choice, as I recall."
"And yours...?" said Vimes, agog.
"A cap-brim sewn with sharpened pennies, sir."
"Ye gods, man! You could put someone's eye out with something like that."
"With care sir, yes," said Willikins, meticulously folding a towel.
"And yours...?" said Vimes, agog.
"A cap-brim sewn with sharpened pennies, sir."
"Ye gods, man! You could put someone's eye out with something like that."
"With care sir, yes," said Willikins, meticulously folding a towel.
—Sam Vimes' butler could butle your ass off, from Thud!
"You see, I am simply one hell of a butler."
—Sebastian Michaelis, Black Butler
(kills several ghouls and cuts main enemy's cigar in half with Razor Floss) Oh, dear... did I miss? I guess I'm not as spry as I used to be. My name is Walter Dornez; butler to the Hellsing family and former master vampire hunter. I highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god.
—Walter, Hellsing Ultimate
Hello. My name is Walter C. Dornez, ex-vampire hunter and butler to the Hellsing Organization. I answer the door, I clean up the estate, and I take out the trash. And I also kill self-entitled little twats like yourself.
—Walter, same scene in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged
Simon Stagg: "Hold on, just who exactly are you?"
Alfred: "Didn't they tell you? I'm the butler."
—Beware the Batman, "Hunted"
YOU DON'T GET TO HURT MY FAMILY ANY MORE!!
—Alfred Pennyworth:, Injustice: Gods Among Us as he beats the ever loving shit out of Superman
Let’s see the rundown: Nazi-fightin’ soldier, SAS secret agent, acclaimed Shakespearean actor, expert combat medic, mechanic capable of helping patch together the Batcomputer and all of Bruce’s other vehicles, amateur detective, and an ineffable air of cool. If he wasn’t being Bruce Wayne’s butler, he’d be James Bond.
— Tumblr post
on Alfred's many accomplishments
on Alfred's many accomplishmentsLawrence: How may I be of assistance?
Nefarious: ANNIHILATE HIM!!!
Lawrence: Just kidding. You have reached a holographic server. Leave your name and address. Tata!
Nefarious: Fine, I'll do it myself.
Note to self. Watch the HELL out for butlers in the future.
"In the early '80s, I was sparring butler for Mr. Chuck Norris."
— Geoffrey the Butler, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
