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Fan Fiction
Hop Pop scratched his chin. "An influencer?"
"An influencer, Mr. Plantar..." Blofeld allowed himself to trail off, rising from his seat to pour two glasses of scotch. "Is a man who makes love to beautiful women, drinks champagne, enjoys life, and never works. He gives grand speeches to the masses promising them plenty, gives them nothing, and takes everything!" He handed Hop Pop a glass while toasting with the other. "That's an influencer!"
Polly stopped fighting with the cat long enough to hear what was said. "You mean you can get PAID to be a parasite?" Her eyes lit up like those of a child on Christmas morning. "And to think that, all these years, I've been doing it for free!"
"C'mon, Hop Pop," Sprig pleaded with his guardian. "You've always wanted to be an actor; this position sounds like acting but without requiring any talent, effort, or contribution to society whatsoever!"
"An influencer, Mr. Plantar..." Blofeld allowed himself to trail off, rising from his seat to pour two glasses of scotch. "Is a man who makes love to beautiful women, drinks champagne, enjoys life, and never works. He gives grand speeches to the masses promising them plenty, gives them nothing, and takes everything!" He handed Hop Pop a glass while toasting with the other. "That's an influencer!"
Polly stopped fighting with the cat long enough to hear what was said. "You mean you can get PAID to be a parasite?" Her eyes lit up like those of a child on Christmas morning. "And to think that, all these years, I've been doing it for free!"
"C'mon, Hop Pop," Sprig pleaded with his guardian. "You've always wanted to be an actor; this position sounds like acting but without requiring any talent, effort, or contribution to society whatsoever!"
—Hey, Now, You're a Frog Star
by EFIL4NAMXOV
by EFIL4NAMXOV Music
"Every time an influencer offers advice, I feel years coming off of my life!"
— Aesop Rock, "Difficult"
Miscellaneous
You decide to say hi to Hannah. She's short, olive-skinned, with brunette locks that fall down in two bouncy tufts on either side of her face. She's conventionally cute, extremely so, with bright blue eyes and a mousy nose. She's got a bit of meat on her bones, a small pooch showing through her t-shirt and hoodie.
You introduce yourself. She blows a bubble on the wad of gum she's chewing before saying, "Hey."
...And nothing else. You struggle to keep up at least a basic conversation, even as she stares at you disinterestedly. She seems distracted by something, never quite looking you right in the eyes.
Finally, she starts to speak. "Sorry, it's just..." She sighs. "I did this as a thing for my followers and it's like, I can't even send a video to them 'cause this old guy won't let me take my phone! My sweet little followers all worked to get me on this tour and it's like... it's all about the fans, you know?"
You ask her what fans she's talking about. Is she famous?
"You... don't know me?" She seems genuinely perplexed. "Man, I guess some people just live under a rock... I have ten million followers on Instaglam, okay? I'm... kiiiind of a big deal~" With a smug grin, she opens her phone to show you a screenshot (which she already had prepared for some reason) of her follower count. It is indeed ten million'.'
"As I've said several times, that phone can't go into my factory!" says Wonka, chiming in. Hannah blows a bubble and rolls her eyes as she hands Wonka the phone.
Huh, so you've got a real, live celebrity on this tour. Well, two, if you count Wonka. But jeez, kind of a brat, isn't she?
Better go talk to someone else.''
You introduce yourself. She blows a bubble on the wad of gum she's chewing before saying, "Hey."
...And nothing else. You struggle to keep up at least a basic conversation, even as she stares at you disinterestedly. She seems distracted by something, never quite looking you right in the eyes.
Finally, she starts to speak. "Sorry, it's just..." She sighs. "I did this as a thing for my followers and it's like, I can't even send a video to them 'cause this old guy won't let me take my phone! My sweet little followers all worked to get me on this tour and it's like... it's all about the fans, you know?"
You ask her what fans she's talking about. Is she famous?
"You... don't know me?" She seems genuinely perplexed. "Man, I guess some people just live under a rock... I have ten million followers on Instaglam, okay? I'm... kiiiind of a big deal~" With a smug grin, she opens her phone to show you a screenshot (which she already had prepared for some reason) of her follower count. It is indeed ten million'.'
"As I've said several times, that phone can't go into my factory!" says Wonka, chiming in. Hannah blows a bubble and rolls her eyes as she hands Wonka the phone.
Huh, so you've got a real, live celebrity on this tour. Well, two, if you count Wonka. But jeez, kind of a brat, isn't she?
Better go talk to someone else.''
— Weeb's Wonka GameWarning
Western Animation
"Social media motivational influencer" are four words that mean nothing, but that's what Julia said she was. Then, when we discovered she was actually a horrible person, Julia really embraced her true self.
—Chris McLean, Total Drama
