Quotes / Artistic License Religion

Alice: "So, why are you out here?"
Bob: "'Irreconcilable theo-philosophical differences with society at large.'"
Alice: "Heresy!"
Bob: "If you want to be vulgar about it, then yes, heresy."

Mission President: What's going on here is that you have all brought ridicule down onto the Latter-Day Saints.
Nabulungi: But we are all Latter-Day Saints now, right?
Mission President: You and your people are about as far from being Latter-Day Saints as it gets. You all are!

Sammy Sosa: I had given up hitting home runs for Lent, so I had to wait until Hot Mr. Easter had eaten Tall Jesus and banished Sexual Jesus to a canyon so that the tyranny of the Jesus brothers could end and Lent would be over. Only then could I start hitting home runs.
Kerry Wood: I once asked Sammy what he thought the story of Easter was, and the nine-hour story he told me gives me nightmares to this day, and is entirely unrepeatable.