[[folder:Film -- live-action]]
->A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.
-->-- '''Vito Corleone''', ''Literature/TheGodfather''

->You're personally invested in your client. Their life is in your hands. [[ItGetsEasier Both pass, trust me.]]
-->--'''Hank Palmer''', ''Film/TheJudge''

->'''Blade:''' You're human?\\
'''Karel Kounen:''' Barely. [[EvilLawyerJoke I'm their lawyer.]]

->Life is very tenacious in these lawyers.
-->--'''Creator/AlexandreDumas''', ''Literature/TheCountOfMonteCristo''

->'''Skitter''': I sort of arranged to have a psychopath kill herself. Um. However you’d charge putting maggots in someone’s eyeballs. [[ImplausibleDeniability In self-defense.]]\\
'''Quinn Calle''': I see. And any other charges that might catch us by surprise?\\
'''Skitter''': Premeditated murder. Of a law enforcement officer.\\
'''Quinn Calle''': ...Alright, then. Believe it or not, I’ve handled worse.
-->-- ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->Boyce had successfully defended traitors, terrorists, inside traders, politicians, mobsters, blackmailers, polluters, toxic-waste dumpers, cheats, insurance frauds, drug dealers, horse dopers, televangelists, hucksters, society wife batterers, cybermonopolists, and even fellow lawyers. An eminent legal scholar who wore bow ties commented on public television that if Shameless Baylor had defended Adolf Eichmann after he had been kidnapped and brought to Israel and tried for crimes against humanity, Eichmann would have been not only acquitted, but awarded damages. It was not said admiringly.
-->-- ''No Way to Treat a First Lady''

[[folder:Live-action TV]]
->'''Henry Reagan:''' "If you need a shark, hire a great white."\\
'''Jack Boyle''': That sounds like Erin.\\
'''Henry:''' She used a few other words I won't repeat.
-->--''Series/BlueBloods'', "Framed"

->'''Jessica''': And you're repping who?\\
'''Jeri''': The dancer, of course.\\
'''Jessica''': The poor, brain-damaged dancer. ''And?''\\
'''Jeri''': ...Other parties interested in Spheeris' property.\\
'''Jessica''': Phew. I questioned my whole worldview for a second there.
-->--''Series/JessicaJones2015'', "Ladies' Night"

->'''Maurice 'Maury' Levy''': You are amoral, are you not? You are feeding off the violence and the despair of the drug trade. You are stealing from those who themselves are stealing the lifeblood from our city. You are a parasite who leeches off--\\
'''Omar''': Just like you, man.\\
'''Levy''': --the culture of drugs, excuse me? ''What?''\\
'''Omar''': I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase. It's all in the game though, right?
-->--''Series/TheWire'', "All Prologue"

->Why should I listen to anything you say? I despise you. You, and everything you represent -- and when I say 'represent' and 'thing', I do mean your clients.
-->--'''Kate Lockely''', ''{{Series/Angel}}'' ("Sanctuary")

->Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else... [[BaitAndSwitchComment noticed?]]
-->--'''Bob Loblaw''' TV spot, ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment''

->It's okay. I'm used to the callous attitude mortals have towards vampires. I'm used to wandering the earth -- reviled, hunted, hated. That's why I became a lawyer.
-->-- '''Alan Decker''', ''Series/SheWolfOfLondon''

->Going gets tough, you don't want a criminal lawyer. You want a '''criminal''' lawyer, know what I mean?
-->-- '''Jesse''' on Saul Goodman, ''Series/BreakingBad''

->There's a reason that Shakespeare, and many after him, said 'First, kill all the lawyers.' They're talking about people like me, Jerry, [[PretenderDiss not you.]]
-->-- '''Alan Shore''', ''Series/BostonLegal''

->Wait, you were a demon ''and'' a lawyer? Insert joke here.
-->-- '''Paige Halliwell''', ''Series/{{Charmed}}''

->Don't get addicted to remorse. It's contemptible in a lawyer. The world does not revolve around you. Your behavior is not its moral center. Someday someone may sit in judgment on this legal system and say it could have been fairer or more compassionate or more responsive to social need. Maybe it'll be me, but not while I'm a criminal defense lawyer. While I'm a lawyer I'm going to defend my clients because it's the job I chose. And I choose to believe, which may be self-deceiving, that the only system worse than this one, is every other one I've ever studied. What I'm not going to do is be a lawyer by day and then scratch the scabs on my conscience by pretending to be a moral pathfinder by night. I don't know if Charles Galbraith got what's coming to him. If he didn't, maybe he'll get prostate cancer and that'll even the score. I don't know if this kid I'm defending is guilty or innocent. And I don't need to know to do my job. That's all we are here to do. And if we do it right, that's enough.
-->-- '''Ted Hoffman''', ''Series/MurderOne'', season one, episode 3

[[folder:Stand-up comedy]]
->''"What is on Kobe's mind? Going to Colorado, around all these white people, and'' not ''bringing Johnnie Cochran? Well then they say,'' "well if you hire Johnnie Cochran, you're going to look guilty."'' Yeah, but you going'' '''home!''' ''You want to look innocent in jail?"''
-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock''' on Kobe Bryant

->''"Look for the blood in the water\\
Read your [[HobbesWasRight Thomas Hobbes]]\\
Only spineless snobs\\
Will quarrel with the 'morally dubious' jobs\\
Yes, blood in the water\\
Your scruples are a flaw\\
You're nothing until\\
The thrill of the kill\\
Becomes your '''only''' law!"''
-->-- '''Prof. Callahan''', ''Theatre/LegallyBlondeTheMusical''

[[folder:Web Original]]
->"Nice to have you here, Miriam”, welcomed Davina. “Although I fear you may be doubly unpopular tonight. Not only are you married to a politician, but you’re also a lawyer!” The audience booed.
-->-- '''''[[https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/dhp-episode-7-the-crinkley-bottom-by-election/ Davina's House Party, Episode 7]]''''' [[spoiler:At the end, she doesn't [[CoveredInGunge 'win']] the vote.]]

->They hired George '[[OpenMouthInsertFoot Macaca]]' Allen and Lanny 'I Represent The Interests of Legitimate War Criminals' Davis to protect their stupid name. Dan Snyder is two degrees from being a war criminal himself, as far as I'm concerned.
-->--'''''Deadspin''''' [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-washington-redskins-1629678313 "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Washington Redskins"]]

->A lawyer so badass he has actual pseudo-villain nicknames of his own, such as '[[MagnificentBastard The Brilliant Bastard]]' and, no kidding, 'Devil's Advocate.' His clients have included Klaus Barbie, Carlos the Jackal, the Serbian dictator Slobodan Milosevic and the dude who used to lead the Khmer Rouge... recently, he was pretty much the only man in existence who wanted anything to do with defending UsefulNotes/{{Saddam|Hussein}}, and went down on record by saying he'd totally have defended [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]] if given the chance.\\\
Verges is an extremely moral-free man, even by notoriously flexible lawyer standards, who not only carved a career out of defending the dregs of humanity, but downright revels in it. He happily [[AdamWesting starred in movies]] about his villainous career and gave interviews where he discussed his courtroom-destroying special lawyer move called [[FinishingMove the Rupture Strategy.]] That 'Brilliant Bastard' nickname we mentioned? That's [[AppropriatedAppellation the title he gave to his autobiography]]. He even refers to his courtroom opponents as '[[YouFOOL mindless fools]]' who stupidly oppose him.
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''' [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19341_6-companies-that-are-clearly-catering-to-supervillains_p2.html on]] Jacques Verges

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->What were you thinking?! People could have died! Before billable services were rendered!
-->-- '''Harvey''', ''WesternAnimation/HarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw''


[[folder:real life]]

->A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies [[MonsterProtectionRacket and keeps it himself.]]
-->-- '''Henry Brougham'''

->I would be loath to speak ill of any person who I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney.
-->-- '''Creator/SamuelJohnson'''

->You saw Roy Cohn testify, you saw that face, star of the magazine covers. I suggest to you that when you looked at that face, you were looking at the face of very real evil.
-->--People's summation the case of ''People v. Dupont''

->Almost all of my clients have been guilty. A few, of course, have been innocent. There has been almost no correlation between the guilt or innocence of my clients and whether they served time or got off... I regard the representation of a guilty and despicable defendant, with little prospect of winning, as a challenge--and, indeed, one of the highest obligations of my profession... Once I decide to take a case, I have only one agenda: I want to win. I will try, by every fair means, to get my client off--without regard to the consequences.
-->-- '''Alan Dershowitz''', ''The Best Defense'' (Introduction)

->I don't think she agreed to do it. I think it's her attorney being greedy, because Ms. Lee was a very private person who didn't like a lot of publicity. She had a stroke several years ago and her mind is not in a condition to make these decisions, I don't think, personally. Tonja Carter [Esq.] doesn't allow her to see her friends anymore. She's isolated her from the world in order to manipulate her.
-->--Monroeville resident '''[[http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/02/friends_say_harper_lee_was_man.html Janet Sawyer]]''' on the ''Literature/ToKillAMockingbird'' sequel