While shirtless men are shooting their way through deadly game shows
, a war is on the horizon. The evil General Akhboob, despot ruler of Kookistan, is using his resources to create an army of mutants. He is also, despite his constant protests otherwise, not making baby milk of any sort
. Meanwhile, at the United Nations, the decision is made to send in the Doomsday Squad, two shirtless guys who specialize in running around and blowing stuff up. As Captain Carnage and Major Mayhem, it's up to you to shoot your way through Akhboob's forces, rescue as many captured civilians as you can, and generally feel very awkward
, given how the whole conflict the game is based on
You might label this as typical American jingoism mixed with our own absurd sense of global entitlement to our opinion and stereotypical view of all things non-Anglo and—well you'd probably be right... We just want to see movies about dudes dropping absurdly large bombs on buildings to the stirring strains of 'Highway to the Danger Zone
' and pulverizing the fuck out of some hapless bastards who had no idea who they were messing with when they dared to piss off the U.S. of A. As long as the villains could easily be equated to Nazis
and said things like 'I vill have zis Yanqui pikdok's skin nailed to ze vall!' it didn't really matter that they're Russians
; we were just rocking out and enjoying the firebombing, secure in the knowledge that whoever was getting blown up, they were Bad Guys
and had it coming.
...the good guys don’t always come from the land you’re born in, and the geopolitical reality of countries is never quite as simple as the black and white portrayal the media instills in you. But that must be pretty difficult to understand while inside the belly of the beast, where most TVs in bars and restaurants are tuned to Fox News
, and where the Nobel Peace Prize winning president
allows for Middle Eastern children to be killed regularly by mistake with drone strikes.
A world in which heroism is a banal and rote opposition to a nebulously defined evil
, where the wheels turn and the bullets fly without any larger interest being served. Looking back, we can see that the greatest sin of real American heroes
is not blind patriotism, or any jingoistic brutality, but the far more banal evil of base nihilism. We do not fight because we must, nor because we can, nor even because we want to. Indeed, we do not fight because. We simply fight
, real heroes that we aren't.
Krauthammer is an unapologetic — strident — hawk. He chides Jeane Kirkpatrick, no less
, for suggesting that after the breakup of the Soviet Union, the United States might become 'a normal country in a normal world.' On the contrary, he admonishes, we live in a permanently abnormal world. 'There is no alternative to confronting, deterring and, if necessary, disarming states that brandish and use weapons of mass destruction. And there is no one to do that but the United States, with or without allies.' Of course there is no question of deterring or disarming the United States. The very idea is outlandish — America is uniquely benign, history's first 'reluctant hegemon
,' almost quixotic in its 'hopeless idealism
Ask the average American what is the salient passion in his emotional armamentarium—what is the idea that lies at the bottom of all his other ideas—and it is very probable that, nine times out of ten, he will nominate his hot and unquenchable rage for liberty. He regards himself, indeed, as the chief exponent of liberty in the whole world, and all its other advocates as no more than his followers, half timorous and half envious. To question his ardour is to insult him as grievously as if one questioned the honour of the republic or the chastity of his wife.
—H. L. Mencken
, The American Credo: A Contribution Toward the Interpretation of the National Mind
Even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle
, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old.
I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.
— Atributed to Admiral Yamamoto
War is mankind's most tragic and stupid folly; to seek or advise its deliberate provocation is a black crime against all men. Though you follow the trade of the warrior, you do so in the spirit of Washington
— not of Genghis Khan. For Americans, only threat to our way of life justifies resort to conflict.
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
, Graduation Exercises at the United States Military Academy at West Point, New York, June 3, 1947
We are also the victims of an unfortunate caricature of our profession. That is, a lot of people think we are pinstriped cookie pushers. I know that because I am a regular guest, for better or worse
, on the Ollie North Show
. His listeners often tell me that I'm a pinstriped cookie pusher.
—Former U.S. Ambassador R. Nicholas Burns
had his own utopian vision about he perfectibility of man, and I never really believed that. And I don’t think the show demonstrates that. I think it is about gunboat diplomacy
. In the final analysis, the Enterprise
fires. They’re always shooting and bringing civilization, and coming to worlds where they don’t approve of tyrannical enterprises – no pun intended – and they substitute their own quote-unquote enlightened version of how society is supposed to work, which is essentially American.