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[[quoteright:350:[[VideoGame/BreathOfFireIV http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/fuchumansharp_9800.jpg]]]]
[-[[caption-width-right:350:"Yes, but [[HypocriticalHumor please first learning how to better English.]]"]]-]

->''"Friends wondering why Nopon talk so strange? Well, we take high ecclesiastical form of Late Modern Noponese and map grammatical patterns onto Hom Hom language. This give us adorable yet expressive Nopon speech... Actually, me just made that up. Though you must admit, it pretty impressive theory."''
-->-- '''[[RidiculouslyCuteCritter Nopon Villager]]''', ''VideoGame/{{Xenoblade}}''

When a character or group needs to be portrayed as [[HollywoodNatives foreign, primitive, or inferior in intellect,]] yet still able to communicate and is intelligible, the language of these characters is spoken as a grammatically abhorrent mess. Characters could be speaking a mutilated version of the language they learned from another culture, or a [[HulkSpeak butchered version]] of their own language, or simply a language so "primitive" it appears from an outside perspective to lack complexity. This trope is OlderThanPrint, going all the way back to Chaucer.

If the work is taking on a superior versus inferior viewpoint, the superior beings might use SpockSpeak or YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe to contrast the barbarism of the other group. The inferior race is often shown speaking pidgin English and omitting articles, auxiliary verbs, possessive pronouns, and sometimes prepositions. The speakers often refer to themselves in third person. It is quite similar to HulkSpeak, though even non-combatants can or will use it. In some cases, it is a form of AliensSpeakingEnglish, in which the creatures have their own language and [[EloquentInMyNativeTongue speak English as a very poorly learned secondary language]].

This trope comes from two sources. First, English is a highly analytic language with little in the way of inflection (altering the spelling/pronunciation of various words to imply things such as case, number, tense, grammatical gender, etc.), so it requires a lot of words and many small auxillary particles to convey the same information some languages could in much fewer words. For instance, "no take candle!" would be a perfectly legitimate sentence in Latin (as would "no candle take!"). The second comes from [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pidgin pidgin languages]], highly simplified languages used by groups without a common language to communicate. Pidgins are stripped down to the absolute bare minimum of grammar needed to get one's point across, to make them easier to learn; some common English idioms like "long time no see", "sorry, no go" or "no X, no Y" are presumed to have their origin in the Chinese-English pidgin that emerged when the United Kingdom started commercial relationships with China[[note]]although, due to modern Mandarin's pretty minimal grammar, some like "long time no see" (or "好久不见") are word-for-word translations of legitimate Chinese phrases anyway[[/note]].

There's actually a scientific word for this kind of speech pattern: [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agrammatism agrammatic speech]]. [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant Not the same]] as ungrammatical, but one of the worse kinds.

The TropeNamer is ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'', where kobolds, who wear candles on their heads to light their way in the mines, say this when attacked by a player character.

{{Supertrope}} to the [[RaceTropes more racial]] AsianSpeekeeEngrish and TontoTalk. Compare HulkSpeak and StrangeSyntaxSpeaker. If the character ''can'' speak proper language, but nevertheless chooses to speak like this for some reason, it's ElectiveBrokenLanguage. If the speaker is otherwise very capable in their own language, then it is EloquentInMyNativeTongue. A softer version of this trope is PoirotSpeak where characters who speak a language quite fluently will occasionally insert syntax errors or bad grammar to remind the viewer that the are indeed foreigners. Unrelated to YouCantGetYeFlask, except in sense that we suck compared to [[MasterComputer computer overlords]].

!!Example subpages:
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Anime And Manga}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Comic Books}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Film}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Literature}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Live Action TV}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Theater}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Video Games}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Webcomics}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Web Original}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Western Animation}}
* YouNoTakeCandle/{{Real Life}}

!!Other examples not included in the above:


[[folder:Fan Works]]
* The Alizor King, with his very ''basic'' grasp of English, sometimes slips into this in ''Fanfic/TheParselmouthOfGryffindor''. Most notably, he only rarely remembers to use pronouns.
* The clumsily written fanfic ''Lisa Is Pregnant'' reads like this. "You awake. Bart is d'oh."
* In the pro wrestling story, ''A Ring Of Their Own'', Ayoko Hamada is portrayed as someone who speaks like that. She's half-Japanese and half-Mexican. In the story, Japanese is her main language (the only other person in the story who speaks it is Wrestling/LanceStorm), Spanish is second and English is a very distant third, leading to some pretty funny segments.
* [[http://wtffanfiction.com/post/59570563689/fandom-doctor-who-there-is-secret-also-say WHY MUCH DALEK?]]
* ''Fanfic/{{Emergence}}'' has Russian, Ukrainian, Japanese, and Syrian people who speak English this way.
* The ''Manga/{{Bleach}}''[=/=]''LightNovel/TheFamiliarOfZero'' fic ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7263810/1/The-Left-Hand-of-the-Death-God The Left Hand of the Death God]]'' has Ichigo Kurosaki speak this way. In his defense, he's been in a dungeon for a very long time ([[TheFogOfAges so long he can't remember how long]]) with no one to talk to, so he's out of practice. He can speak clearly inside his inner world.
* From the ''Fanfic/Gensokyo20XX'' series, we have this initially with an age-regressed Reimu in a combination of HulkSpeak, which is justified seeing as she was initially age-regressed to formative years and was imprisoned being denied virtually no contact, aside from being injected with needles and apparently being brain-washed, thus she had to relearn her language skills, communicating more on the level that a rehabilitated WildChild might. The same also applied to Maribel and Renko, although with a more expanded vocabulary. This is mostly the case with Youmu, in 20XXV, who combines this, HulkSpeak, and TerseTalker, if her "Muhs" are translated, although this played straight, when she says, "Fuck you ass, Youmu do what want!"
* A fanfic called ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo'' ''and the Trip of Lust'' reads with this speech layout.
---> Velma don't clean pussy. It against religion.
* A poem based off ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', entitled ''Zecora Walks Through Poison Joke'', has Zecora accidentally walk through poison joke, which messes up her grammar.
---> "I cannot rhyme and my grammar done bad. I need finding potion to undo poison joke because it not a nice thing to have"
* The Svenjaya in ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone: The Soft World'' have a primitive cadence to their language—which is contractually required of them. Slavayat the patriarch is quite articulate, and Mevaryat the musician speaks like a human.
-->Sima: "Svenjaya not stupid. Tipaanese only ''wish'' Svenjaya were."
* Literature/HarryPotter spends some time talking this way in ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8501689/11/The-Havoc-side-of-the-Force The Havoc Side of the Force]]'' due to still learning [[Franchise/StarWars Basic]], though generally he has HK-47 translate if he doesn't have the vocabulary to say what he wants.
* {{Lampshaded}} in ''FanFic/TheDragonKingsTemple''. Both the Asyuntians and SG-1 regularly resort to this in order to get critical information across the language barrier, throwing grammar out the window and reducing everything to the simplest possible terms. [[CunningLinguist Daniel]] finds this very frustrating, since it renders it just about impossible for him to figure out proper Asyuntian grammar.

* Demonstrated by ''Music/{{Massacration}}'', a Brazilian AffectionateParody of metal bands. "Far away/across the sea/Master never grow/Now the way/Against the fear/Master will is sure."
* Music/JonathanCoulton's song ''Code Monkey'' is done entirely in this style, [[JustifiedTrope being sung from the perspective of an actual primate]].
* From the Dethklok song "Face Fisted", lines like these:
-->''I am be dangerous now''
-->''Not me hurt''
-->''When stairs fell down''
-->''Me pushed by you''
-->''Me hit head''
-->''Me nose broke''
-->''Soon you be dead''
* Mark Heard's "How to Grow Up Big and Strong" (later covered by Rich Mullins) is like this throughout the song. "Strong man strangle universe/He drown the stars" and so forth.

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In one ''ComicStrip/{{BC}}'' strip, the Italian Anno Domini and the Amerind Conahonty converse in this way. When asked how they can understand each other, coming as they do from different parts of the world, they explain, "Is universal language. Is broken English."
* The crocodiles in ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' mostly talk like this to convey their lack of intelligence.

* In Williams' ''Pinball/{{Taxi}}'' pinball game, "Gorbie" (UsefulNotes/MikhailGorbachev) talks like this.
* "Boris" (a caricature of Boris Yelsin) does the same thing in ''Pinball/{{Diner}}''.
* The antagonist of ''Pinball/{{Gorgar}}'' talks like this. Justified in that he has a vocabulary of seven words.
-->'''Gorgar:''' "Me... got... you!"
* Also done by the attacking aliens of ''Pinball/{{Firepower}},'' coming this with MachineMonotone.
-->"Fire - Power - Destroy - You"

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* Wrestling/YoshihiroTajiri English sentences tend to be either overly simplistic or rudeness of the ClusterFBomb variety. It's played with however in that these almost always impress just because so few people know he can even speak English at all. Ditto his Wrestling/{{ECW}} rival Super Crazy.
* Lin Bairon in Tajiri's SMASH and Wrestling New Classic promotions. She spoke English with a lot of confidence and enthusiasm, displaying excellent pronunciation, a decent vocabulary and terrible grammar.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Puppet Shows]]
* Subverted in ''Series/{{Mongrels}}''. Nelson uses this to try to communicate with Rob the chimpanzee when he first meets him. Rob assumes that Nelson normally talks like that and responds in the same way, until they realise their mistake and switch to normal English.
* Cookie Monster from ''Series/SesameStreet'' usually talks this way.
* In ''Film/TheDarkCrystal'', the otherwise well-spoken Skeksis Chamberlain speaks this way during his encounter with the Gelflings. In the original cut of the film, this would have been the only scene in the film in which a Skeksis actually speaks English, before it was changed to make their speech always understandable. The moment therefore makes little sense unless you assume that either TranslationConvention is in effect for all other scenes featuring the Skeksis, or else that the Chamberlain is using ObfuscatingStupidity to unsuccessfully put the Gelflings at ease.

* ''Radio/TheGoonShow'' occasionally had "primitive" characters (Africans, Arabs, Red Indians, etc), who were usually played by the show's resident (black) singer Ray Ellington. Any UnfortunateImplications of this were partly subverted by Ellington's character clearly being more intelligent than any of the white characters. And it was the 1950s...
* Parodied in a 1949 Radio/BobAndRay skit featuring Pronto, sidekick to the Lone Agent:
-->'''Pronto''' ''(Bob)'': Ug. Lone, that be completely impossible. You would be implicating me in crime, in which I can have no hand.
-->'''Lone''' ''(Ray)'': Huh? Is this Pronto speaking?
-->'''Pronto:''' Ug.
-->'''Lone:''' Where'd you get the education?
-->'''Pronto:''' Me go Harvard. Me [[IncrediblyLamePun Boston brave.]]
* ''The Bob Lassiter Show'' had sketches of Dingo Boy, (voice of a then unknown Adam Carolla) who searched the land in order to "Find man who killed parents".

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* In one of her standup acts, Creator/MargaretCho once joked that an advantage to being of Asian descent in the United States while going out to bars was that, when getting hit on by a guy in whom you are totally uninterested, you can state in You No Take Candle that you don't speak English.

[[folder: Tabletop Games]]
* Tabletop RPG ''Land of Og'', and its more playable successor ''Og: Unearthed Edition'', limits its caveman characters to only a few words while speaking in character. Each character has a different set of words they can use, such as "You", "Rock", "Stick", "Thing", "Hairy", "Bang", "Go", and [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers "Verisimilitude"]].
* This is played straight ''within'' the ''TabletopGame/BattleTech'' universe. The Clans, in their fanatical devotion to restoring the ancient Star League, speak strictly in Star League Standard English (with some new terminology and shorthand as needed to reflect their unique culture, but ''never'' contractions). Conversely, they consider the mishmashing of languages used by the Successor States and the mediocre quality of their English as further proof of their descent into barbarism.
** Although according to The Powers That Be, Star League Standard English sounds like Valley Girl-speak.
** Also, most of the Successor States use English as a secondary language and use a different language or languages as their primary one, such as German (the Lyran Commonwealth/Lyran Alliance), French (the Federated Suns), Mandarin (the Capellan Confederation), or Swedenese (a creole language of Swedish and Japanese used in the Free Rasalhague Republic). Despite this, all the characters in the novels speak perfectly understandable English with few notable accents or grammar problems.

[[folder: Other]]
* "Confucius say, he who no take candle not very bright."
* In [[ProfessionalWrestling Chris Jericho's]] autobiography, he mentions that while he worked in Japan, he couldn't really speak the language and a couple of the friends he made there couldn't really speak English. However, he said that because he was fluent in "broken English" that he could still communicate; asking his friends "Would you like to go to the music store with me?" wouldn't work, but saying, "Maybe you me go CD shop?" would.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMO1VFy-3FU "Me want title match!"]]
* Toys/{{Furby}}'s will talk like this when speaking English.
* Toys/AmazingAmanda will sometimes talk like this.
---> '''Amanda''': "No hugs for Amanda? Amanda sad"
* [[http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-chinese-translation-fails/ this]] list of translation fails results in this.
--> "Slip and fall down carefully!"
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqXqFxdcngw this]] video is mostly in correct English, but falls into You No Take Candle sometimes.
--> "My peepee is escaping!"
--> "We ran, but not able."