->''"I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like"''
-->--'''Music/TheStoneRoses''', "I Am the Resurrection"
%%One quote is enough; put any new one in the Quotes tab.

Alice is in love with Bob. Unfortunately, she finds out that Carol is also in love with Bob, leading her to view Carol as an enemy. The catch? Carol is so damn nice to Alice that Alice feels guilty about disliking her. If Carol happens to be Bob's girlfriend, things can get even worse.

This can also apply to situations where someone simply has a non-romantic reason for hating someone, but said someone is too nice/charming to dislike. Can result in a GoKartingWithBowser-like scenario if the participants in the LoveTriangle end up hanging out a lot.

Compare FriendlyEnemy.

!!Examples of the romantic version:


[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Manga/CardCaptorSakura'': In episode 60, Syaoran calls off his ChildhoodMarriagePromise with Meiling, having fallen in love with Sakura. Meiling tearfully confesses to Tomoyo that, even though she's heartbroken and angry, she still can't bring herself to hate Sakura.
* In ''Manga/SgtFrog'', Tamama sees Angol Mois as a rival for Keroro's love and attention, but is frequently overwhelmed by her niceness. At one point in the dub, he thinks to himself regarding Mois "Stop making it so hard for me to hate you!"
** Mois also once turned Kululu into a shambling wreck by simply staring at him for an extended period. "I can't be mean to those eyes!"
* In ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'', during the Arrancar arc Orihime Inoue realized she was in love with Ichigo Kurosaki and felt this way toward her friend Rukia Kuchiki, who was also close to Ichigo.
* This happens on anime-version of ''Manga/{{Karin}}''. Winner is in love with Karin, who dislikes him because he's a vampire slayer (though it helps that he's utterly incompetent). Meanwhile, Karin's best friend, Maki, has a crush on Winner. Maki even says once, through thinly-veiled hypotheticals, that she wishes she could hate Karin for attracting Winner's attention, but Karin's too good a friend for that.
* Casca from ''{{Manga/Berserk}}'' has had conflicting feelings toward Princess Charlotte ever since it became apparent to her that Griffith would have to court and perhaps marry Charlotte in order to get closer to the throne of Midland. Even after she [[spoiler: revealed that she was in love with Guts and consummated her feelings for him]], Casca still felt jealousy toward Charlotte and even went so far as to admitting that to herself when she found out [[spoiler: that Griffith had slept with her and got landed in prison for the act]]... but then Casca also admitted that she felt very bad because Charlotte is one of the sweetest people that she's ever met and treated her with kindness despite being a woman of lower social standing.
* In the Alma Torran arc of ''Manga/MagiLabyrinthOfMagic'', Sheba falls in love with Solomon who is way closer to her sister figure and his longtime friend Arba which greatly upsets Sheba. Once Arba encourages Sheba to marry him, Sheba apologizes for having been jealous of her and treating her in such a harsh way.
* In ''Anime/PrincessMononoke'', San has these mixed feelings about Ashitaka because she usually hates all humans. "I hate him! I hate all humans!" But she also starts to habor feelings for him after receiving Ashitaka's necklace, "From Ashitaka? For me?... [[DistractedByTheShiny Pretty...]]". They still don't end up together because San couldn't bear living amongst humans.
* ''LightNovel/TheDevilIsAPartTimer'':
** Having spent the majority of her life either preparing or actively attempting to slay him and [[YouKilledMyFather avenge her father]], Emi is very annoyed that Maou isn't acting ''remotely'' evil enough to justify slaying. [[spoiler:And it turns out that not only did Maou ''not'' kill her father, he isn't actually dead at all.]]
** Suzuno starts having second doubts about her mission [[spoiler:to kill the demon king]] as well when she starts to notice Maou doesn't act like a bad guy at all on Earth.
* This is pretty much how [[TheWoobie Subaru]] feels about [[TheSociopath Seishirou]] in ''Manga/{{X1999}}'' after the events of ''Manga/TokyoBabylon''.
* From ''Manga/SpiritCircle'', this is how Kouko feels towards Fuuta. In their past lives, Fuuta's preincarnation Fortuna single-handedly caused a great disaster for his own purposes. Kouko, who remembered that past life, vowed to destroy Fortuna's soul so that [[DeaderThanDead he would never even reincarnate again]]. However, present day Fuuta is such a NiceGuy that she feels conflicted about it.
* ''Manga/MyMonsterSecret'': Nagisa and Youko suffer no small amount of angst because of this. Both of them have feelings for the same boy, and both of them have a ''lot'' of trouble viewing each other as romantic rivals because their friendship is so strong, meaning that neither one of them will pursue a relationship for fear of hurting the other girl. [[spoiler: They eventually get over it, with Youko being the "winner".]]

[[folder: Comics]]
* The titular character of ''ComicStrip/BigNate'' has both a romantic and nonromantic version of this with the Belarus exchange student Artur. Nate's disdain for Artur comes from three main sources: Artur is dating Jenny (whom Nate has crushed on for years), [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter Artur is a better chessplayer than Nate]] (beforehand, Nate was pretty much the best in his school, even beating his more intelligent friend Francis) and [[BornLucky Artur's good luck]] compared to [[ButtMonkey Nate's]] [[CosmicPlaything bad luck.]] Despite all of this, Artur is just so sweet and nice, that Nate can't find it in himself to hate Artur. In fact, Artur has a high opinion and trust in Nate which makes Nate even more unable to hate Artur. Ultimately, Nate has Artur's back and considers him his friend.
--> '''Nate''': I like Artur okay. But it's sort of annoying how nothing ever goes wrong for him.

[[folder: Fanfiction]]
* In the ''Franchise/{{Ben 10}}'' fanfic [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4267279/1/Hero-High-Sphinx-Academy Hero High: Sphinx Academy]], the biggest problem Gwen Tennyson has throughout the story is she can't bring herself to hate the BigBad who was her boyfriend in the previous story [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3875254/1/Hero-High-Earth-style Hero High: Earth Style]]. She knows he plans horrible things for humanity, even though [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans it is to ultimately save humanity in the long run]], and that they are currently fighting against him to stop it, but due to how he was genuinely nice to her, cared about her, and was pretty much the only person outside of her family that appreciated her for her intelligence instead of shunned her for it, she just can't bring herself to truly hate him. [[spoiler: This even causes her to go to his side for a short time and in the DistantFinale accept his marriage proposal]].
* In ''Fanfic/PokemonResetBloodlines'', Misty feels this way towards Iris. On one hand, she wasn't very happy with Ash's decision to include her in their group without asking her first (especially since Iris tried to kill her thinking she'd hurt her Axew), and she doesn't like how Iris and Ash are becoming so close so quickly. On the other hand, after knowing her full story, Misty grows to genuinely like Iris and wants to help her with her problems.

[[folder: Film]]
* Ben Stiller's character feels this way about Owen Wilson's character, his fiance's ex-boyfriend, in ''Film/MeetTheParents''.
* In ''Film/ForgettingSarahMarshall'', Peter tells Aldous that while he has many reasons to hate him, the main one being that he's the guy Sarah dumped him to be with, he can't deny that Aldous is a cool guy too. But then it's subverted a minute later when Aldous lets slip that [[YourCheatingHeart he and Sarah had begun seeing each other a year before she and Peter actually broke up]], enraging Peter.
* This happens in ''Film/MyBestFriendsWedding'', though it doesn't stop the main character from being a bitch about the situation.
* In ''Film/WhenHarryMetSally'', this is Sally's response to Harry's LoveConfession at the end.
* ''Film/PlanB'' takes this trope to its logical extreme with Bruno's attempts to sabotage Pablo's relationship with his ex Laura going awry when he finds himself liking Pablo as not only a best friend, [[QueerRomance but a love interest too]].
* In ''Film/LegallyBlonde'', protagonist Elle Woods' ex-boyfriend quickly became engaged to someone else. The fiancée, Vivian, feels that she ought to hate cute and bubbly Elle, and acts the part at first, until Elle impresses her, and they bond. Meanwhile, the ex-boyfriend's disrespect for Elle ends up disgusting Vivian, and by the end of the film, they've broken up.


[[folder: Literature]]
* In the book ''Literature/AvalonHigh'', main protagonist Elaine can't bring herself to hate [[AllGuysWantCheerleaders Jennifer]], even though she cheated on her boyfriend, who happens to be Elaine's crush and wanted the best for Will. Same with Will himself. He realized his best friend and girlfriend loved each other and couldn't blame either of them. [[spoiler: It helps that the characters are actually the reincarnations of King Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot.]]
* ''Literature/SpellmanFiles'' has this go on with Maggie. Isabel (and her sister Rae to some extent) don't really want her to settle down with Henry, but both Spellmans can't help but like Maggie. [[spoiler: Luckily for them, Maggie breaks up with Henry and becomes their future sister-in-law instead.]]
* Discussed in ''Literature/TheStormlightArchive'', when Navani tells Dalinar that she really tried to hate his (now deceased) wife, but couldn't because she was too nice.
* In Literature/TheHungerGames trilogy, Gale admits to Katniss that he has a hard time hating Peeta because Peeta's so likeable, despite being a competitor for Katniss's affections.
* In Literature/TheHeroesOfOlympus, it's revealed Nico di Angelo feels this way about Annabeth due to [[spoiler: his own crush on her boyfriend, [[Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians Percy]]]], as despite being his [[spoiler: romantic rival]], she's also one of the few people who's consistently nice to him.
* In ''Literature/GunsOfTheDawn'', Mr Northway is (by his own admission) corrupt and self-interested, and his rivalry with the Marshwic family led to its current impoverished status and the suicide of Emily's father. Emily starts out hating him, and makes this clear to him. However, this openness of disregard actually enables them to converse more freely and honestly than if they were pretending to be polite friends, and Emily finds that she's glad to have someone to correspond with who treats her as an equal adversary, doesn't assume he can trick or patronise her, and isn't put off by her barbs and criticisms. They eventually end up together.
* In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire,'' there's a low-key version between [[TheHero Harry]] and [[LovableJock Cedric]], who's not only in competition with Harry in the Triwizard Tournament, but winds up dating the girl whom Harry has a crush on. The thing is, Cedric is so legitimately nice that Harry can't think of much but "that dumb pretty boy could have given me a ''better'' hint on how to win the next part of the game."

[[folder: Live-Action Television]]
* On ''Series/{{Friends}}'' Rachel sort of felt this about Julie. Monica had to remind her that Julie has done nothing wrong.
** This trope popped up practically every time Ross or Rachel had a RomanticFalseLead, except in rare occasions where they really ''were'' jerks.
* The whole set-up of ''Series/{{Reba}}''. Barbara Jean is Brock's new wife but treats Reba, the ex, as a close personal friend which is what they eventually become.
* ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'': Earl is and always has been on friendly terms with Darnell (aka "Crab Man"), the man who cuckolded him and stole his wife.
* Obligatory ''[[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Buffy]]'' example. In one episode, Riley returns to Sunnydale after his breakup with Buffy and reveals that he's married. Willow decides that since it would be petty for Buffy to hate his wife, she'll do it for her. In the end, neither girl can hate her, because she's so cool and they're so perfect together.
* In series 2 of ''Series/AshesToAshes'' [[AscendedExtra Jackie]] turns up at CID claiming to be [[TheBabyTrap pregnant with Gene's baby]] and Alex can only [[GreenEyedMonster look on in horror as he proposes to Jackie.]] However Alex and Jackie bond over the episode and besides, why on earth would Alex affected by it? I mean [[GreenEyedEpiphany it's not like she's got any feelings whatsoever]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial for this glorified imaginary construct.]] [[spoiler: It all gets better when Jackie reveals [[ManipulativeBastard she lied to get Gene to help her]] and was [[WhatDoesSheSeeInHim insulted he believed she would sleep with him.]]]]
* On ''Series/SisterSister,'' Lisa meets the woman who is apparently keeping Ray from getting together with her, and admits that she's conflicted about whether or not she should be angry at the woman or invite her into the house for a snack. It probably helps that the woman pulls an IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy. Made weirder because "the other woman" turned out to be [[spoiler:Ray's ''[[YouLookLikeYouveSeenAGhost dead]]'' wife, whom he felt reluctant to move on from]].


[[folder: Video Games]]
* While there is no love triangle involved, in ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'', when it comes to light that [[spoiler: you're Revan]], a talk with Carth reveals that he "tried to hate you, but couldn't." It's especially good to hear if you're a female PC seeking a romance sub-plot with him.
** He gives this exact same speech to a [[HoYay male]] Revan.
* On Red's route in ''VisualNovel/{{Nameless}}'', a series of misunderstandings leads to Red believing that the protagonist (who he has a crush on) is in love with Tei (who he idolizes). He tearfully blurts out that he still likes Tei before running out of the room, which leads to the protagonist and her other housemates getting confused and [[MistakenForGay wondering if he was trying to make a love confession to Tei]].

[[folder: Web Comics]]
* ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' has Justin feeling like this toward Sarah.
* Happens once in ''Webcomic/QueenOfWands'', when Kestrel's crush gets back together with his ex-girlfriend, who it appears is actually a really sweet person. Kestrel exclaims in frustration that she can't hate her.

[[folder: Web Original]]
* In ''Webcomic/AMomentOfPeace'', Ito feels this way toward Crux on first meeting. Crux is [[AllLoveIsUnrequited the unrequited crush of his unrequited crush.]]


[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra''
** Korra feels this way toward Asami despite her theoretically being a rival for Mako's affection. They bond over driving fast cars and fighting alongside each other.
** Later when Mako is caring for Korra like he would a girlfriend, despite ''still'' being in a relationship with Asami, Asami doesn't hate Korra for anything. Mako, on the other hand, she does blame.
** Given their amicable relationship, despite Mako being a romantic contention, perhaps it's no surprise Korra and Asami ultimately [[spoiler:end up together]]
* On ''WesternAnimation/JimmyTwoShoes'', Heloise begins dating Peep to [[OperationJealousy make Jimmy jealous]]. It works, but to her surprise Jimmy and Peep hit it off quite well on non-Heloise topics.
* Even after [[spoiler: Marco and Jackie]] start dating on ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'', [[spoiler:Star]] still tries to be good friends with [[spoiler:Jackie]], even trying to make sure [[spoiler:Jackie]] doesn't feel left out when invited to a concert with her and [[spoiler:Marco]].

!!Non-romantic examples:


[[folder: Anime and Manga]]
* ''Anime/{{Monster}}'': "No matter what he did, I think I will forgive him". Yeah, Johan is just that charming.
* Both Physis and Jomy have this reaction to Keith Anyan in the last two episodes of ''Manga/TowardTheTerra'', each separately commenting that even though Keith has been doing everything he can to exterminate their race, they can't bring themselves to hate him. In both cases the most probable answer to WhyCantIHateYou seems to be "Because he already hates himself enough for both."
* In ''LightNovel/TheDevilIsAPartTimer'', Emilia Justina the Hero trained all her life to slay the evil, demonic overlord whose invasion [[DoomedHometown destroyed her hometown]] and [[YouKilledMyFather killed her father]]. Thus, when she tracks him down in [[MageInManhattan Shibuya]] after he fled through a portal to escape her assault on his castle, she is very annoyed to discover him acting like a perfectly law-abiding NiceGuy. It turns out that although he was leading a demon army in a war against humanity, he ''wasn't'' doing it out of some kind of genocidal hatred, and has nothing against the humans of this world who are completely uninvolved in his centuries-old conflict. It takes a while for Emilia to come to terms with the fact that her side [[LightIsNotGood wasn't all good]].
* In ''Manga/KenichiTheMightiestDisciple'', quite a few people including Kenichi feel this way about Isshinsai Ogata, one of the members of YAMI. Even though he believes that martial arts should be used to kill like the other members of YAMI, Kenichi and others recognize that Ogata's pure love of martial arts makes him NotSoDifferent from them.
* ''Manga/MagiLabyrinthOfMagic'':
** Alibaba feels this way towards Princess Kougyoku because he is being manipulated into marrying her by her family and it would be easier to reject them if she were a despicable person instead of the WideEyedIdealist SpoiledSweet person she is. It doesn't help that Kougyoku doesn't know of her family's plan and Alibaba is her first real friend.
** [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] with Aladdin and [[TheAce Sinbad]]. Aladdin doesn't really understand why, but there is something about Sinbad he believes makes him unworthy of being king.
* ''[[LightNovel/{{Bakemonogatari}} Hanamonogatari]]'' brings us the case of [[PsychoLesbian Suruga]] and [[ConMan Kaiki]] when they meet for the first time. Considering both the person Suruga loves most and the person she admires most in the world hold massive [[ItsPersonal personal]] grudges against him, it would be reasonable enough for her to hate him too. The problem is, [[spoiler:she's the daughter of the only person Kaiki ever loved, and he would never think of conning her or her family]]. To her enormous surprise, he acts friendly toward her, and even treats her to a meal, which [[PennyPincher knowing him]] is something he would never do otherwise. Suruga actually thinks this line verbatim in the books.

[[folder: Literature]]
* Played with in interesting (and non-romantic) ways in ''Literature/TheThingsTheyCarried''. Tim, a soldier in the Vietnam War, is best friends with The Medic, Rat. Rat gets shot, and transferred out of TheSquad. Soon after, Tim himself is shot, and nearly loses his leg because Rat's replacement forgot to treat him for shock. Tim is rather bitter about this. Tim learns that the new medic is actually a nice guy who was simply inexperienced and cracked under the pressure of combat. Tim comments that if he could only bring himself to hate the new medic, he could also forgive him.
* ''Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming'' by Creator/RogerZelazny and Creator/RobertSheckley mixes this with an aversion of EvilIsOneBigHappyFamily--sloth, wrath, and pettiness are so rampant in the demonic community that the demon protagonist discovers he likes his angelic counterpart more than he likes most of his fellow demons. [[spoiler:Until said angel hooks up with his ex-girlfriend and converts her to the side of light, that is . . .]]
* In ''Literature/AtlasShrugged'', Hank Rearden is completely prepared to hate Francisco D'Anconia for his perceived worthlessness. When they actually have a conversation, Rearden realizes that they share a LOT in common.
* In ''Literature/{{Airborn}}'', cabin boy Matt loses out on a promotion to newcomer Bruce, who is much less experienced but whose father owns their airship (and plenty of others). After actually meeting him, Matt admits to himself that it would have been easier if Bruce was a spoiled brat - finding out that he's actually a decent guy just makes it worse.
* In ''Literature/{{Pact}}'', Blake Thorburn finds himself depressed when he can't bring himself to hate Andy, a witch-hunter whose job it is to kill practitioners like him who step out of line, after they [[IHaveAFamily spend a little while humanizing themselves for the other's benefit.]]
* In ''Literature/HarryPotter,'' Harry seems determined to hate Professor Grubbly-Plank, a substitute teach who is, annoyingly, more competent and beloved than his [[IntergenerationalFriendship close friend]] [[FluffyTamer Hagrid]].


[[folder: Live-Action Television]]
* Also from ''Series/{{Friends}}'', Monica and the woman who stole her identity. Monica became friends with her.
* In an episode of ''Series/{{Bewitched}}'', Darrin is fretting about meeting up with an old acquaintance who's [[TheAce smarter, richer, more successful and pretty much better at everything.]] Samantha playfully promises to hate him, but Darrin insists that it's impossible to hate him, [[NiceGuy he's just too nice]].
* At the end of a ''Series/GoodTimes'' two-parter, the gang member that shot JJ was let free due to lack of proof he pulled the trigger. As the gangster's mother arrives outside the courtroom, he starts to gloat about getting off. [[ArmorPiercingSlap She slaps him,]] telling him that she hates him and basically disowns him on the spot, even as it's clear it hurts her as much as it does him. Devastated, he spots James and Florida and asks if James wants to hit him too. James begs off. As he leaves, James turns to Flordia asks how [[AlasPoorVillain he can feel so sorry]] for the man who shot his son.

[[folder: Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'' has Undyne, a high ranking member of the Royal Guard who is tasked to seek and kill any human she comes across to harvest their soul for the king. If you encounter her on the neutral or pacifist path, she has the intent to kill you, but she comes up with excuses that justifies her actions in the hopes that her (made up) views on humans are correct so that she won't feel guilty in killing you. Should you spare Undyne and take up Papyrus' offer in befriending Undyne, you find out that she thinks some humans are actually pretty cool according to her materials (anime) and that you remind her a lot of [[spoiler: Asgore, who she got the order from in regards to taking human souls]]. She eventually decides that hating you is no longer possible and you're actually pretty cool. Should you kill anyone after befriending her, Papyrus calls you to tell you that Undyne not only hates your guts, but she would destroy you if you ever showed up again. If you're on a no mercy run, the encounter with Undyne is more or less the same, but since she sees how much of a cold blooded murderer you are, she states that she used to think humans were cool until you came along and now she has a legitimate reason to hate and kill you.
* During the confrontation with Leo in ''VideoGame/FireEmblemFates: Birthright'', his brewing anger from brief earlier encounters boils over, with him ranting at [[PlayerCharacter Corrin]] that he always resented him/her for being Xander's favorite sibling and having Camilla spend more time doting on them. After the fight, [[spoiler:he cracks and admits it was all a lie; while he was certainly jealous at times, he could never ''hate'' Corrin, and was saying those things to try and psyche himself up to kill them - and failed.]]

[[folder: Web Original]]
* In ''Webcomic/SquidRow'', Randi is surprised to find her non-romantic male friend's new girlfriend is really nice and she likes her.
* In ''Webcomic/PennyAndAggie'', Duane, noticing for the first time the emotional vulnerability of TheFundamentalist Charlotte (who had attempted to frame a fellow student for making a bomb threat, and had slandered a lesbian student as a rapist), thinks to himself, "What is wrong with me, that I can't hate you now?"

[[folder: Western Animation]]
* WesternAnimation/AdventureTime's episode "I Remember You". When the Ice King shows up at Marceline's apartment, she seems frustrated and annoyed. Over the course of the episode it becomes clear that despite herself, she actually cares for him. [[spoiler: Its because he used to care for when she was a little girl, before the crown took away his memory and sanity.]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode "All About Mormons," the new kid at school, Gary, is introduced as [[ParodySue a perfect student and a child actor]], and Mr. Garrison makes it clear he prefers him to the regular students. The boys, instantly hating him, send Stan over to beat him up. Unfortunately, Gary is totally accepting of this (even saying that he "kind of deserves it"), and after a few minutes of just talking, Stan instead winds up invited to his house for dinner. It turns out the whole family is this way; the same thing happens when Stan's father Randy meets Gary's parents.

[[folder: Real Life]]
* American UsefulNotes/{{tennis}} player Andy Roddick on Roger Federer, the man who's denied him multiple slams, most painfully one at {{UsefulNotes/Wimbledon}} 2009: "I've said to him before, 'I'd love to hate you, but you're really nice.'"
** To put this in perspective. Roddick reached 5 Grand slam finals, won 1 and lost the other 4 to Federer. Roddick was world no 1, until Federer came along.