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->''"Honey! Come over here, sugarbuns! This machine just called me an asshole!"''
-->-- '''Creator/StephenKing''' in response to a sentient ATM, ''Film/MaximumOverdrive''

Imagine an object, say, an inanimate object. Any inanimate object. Got that? Good.

Now, imagine the characters in a show [[CompanionCube interacting with the object as if it were another character]]. That shouldn't be too hard to picture, should it? Good.

Now, imagine that object answers back. [[DeadpanSnarker And it is snarky as all hell]].

This can be any object, but it often takes the form of a Magic8Ball. Things that specifically are ArtificialIntelligence in canon do not count.

Related tropes include AnimateInanimateObject, CompanionCube, and TheManInTheMirrorTalksBack. See also TalkingApplianceSidekick.




[[folder: Anime and Manga]]
* In the ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'' anime, the Pokedex is canonically just a database. However, Dexter (Ash's Pokedex) had shades of this in the first episode of the series, notably calling Ash "stupid."

[[folder: Fairy Tales]]
* In some variations of "Literature/SnowWhite", the Magic Mirror is a smart aleck backtalker.

[[folder: Film]]
* The robotic arm in ''Film/IronMan'' manages to be quite snarky even without any dialogue.
* In ''Film/ScaryMovie2'', the protagonist is singing along to the radio when it suddenly speaks to her:
--> Radio: Will you shut the hell up and let me sing my song?
* In ''Film/TheLadykillers'', the portrait of the old lady's late husband changes his expression to react to the events around him.
* In ''Film/MaximumOverdrive'', machines such as ATMs and ticker displays, unable to actually hurt anybody, simply flash obscenities at everyone in sight.

[[folder: Literature]]
* Bob in the book of ''TheDresdenFiles'' was never a real person. He's an air spirit of intellect which occupies the skull unless Harry explicitly gives him permission to come out and possess his cat or otherwise travel freely.
* In the {{Xanth}} series, Dor's magical talent is to make inanimate things talk, and sometimes they can be quite snarky.
* ''Literature/ChittyChittyBangBang'' is a snarky ''car''. In one scene, a button appears that says PUSH. Caractacus doesn't push it. It changes to say PUSH, IDIOT.

[[folder: Live Action TV]]
* Franchise/TheMuppets would often have ordinary-seeming objects such as vegetables suddenly sprout faces and start singing and cracking wise.
* Any object that has to interact with LiveActionTV/TheYoungOnes will have something to say about it.

[[folder: Newspaper Comics]]
* Oliver Wendell Jones' Banana 2000 computer from ''ComicStrip/BloomCounty''. Not intended to be an animate object, it frequently was sentient.
** Also in ''Bloom County'' and ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}'', frequent examples of subtrope TheManInTheMirrorTalksBack.
* On occasion ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' will use a talking scale, which will naturally make a fat joke.
* The ifruit computer in ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot''.
* While we won't get into a debate over whether Hobbes counts, ''ComicStrip/{{Calvin|AndHobbes}}''''s TV got in a few good ones, always quietly to itself:
-->'''Calvin''': What does this mean, "religion is the opiate of the masses"?
-->'''TV''': It means Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet.
** To say nothing of the Ouija Board he was messing around with in a later strip:
-->'''Calvin''': O Great Ouija Board, will I ever become president?\\
'''Hobbes''': It's moving!\\
'''Calvin''': "G...O...\\
'''Hobbes''': ''[finishing]'' "..D...F...O...R...B...I...D."\\
'''Calvin''': ''[kicking the board]'' When I want an editorial, I'll '''''ask''''' for it, you stupid board!
* A wall in ''ComicStrip/PearlsBeforeSwine'' gets in on the fun.
-->'''Rat''': What are you doing pig?
-->'''Pig''': Just staring at our living room and thinking of all the moments in our lives that have happened here. If only these walls could talk...
-->'''Wall''': You've bored us to the depths of our studs. [[{{Beat}} *beat*]] I've waited twenty years to say that.

[[folder: Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' solo adventure ''Knight of the Living Dead''. After becoming an undead creature, the protagonist has a weasel skull that acts as his companion, including snarky dialogue. It's implied that the conversations are his mind talking to itself.

[[folder: Video Games]]
* There are a whole lot of inanimate-object-based characters in ''VideoGame/BanjoKazooie'', but even the immobile ones who can only blink may still snark at you.
* Lilacor from ''VideoGame/BaldursGate 2'' is not this - intelligent weapons are far from unprecedented in ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' - but the Morrowind mod of the same name veers closer to this by it being unique for the ''Franchise/TheElderScrolls''.

[[folder: Webcomics]]
* The [[http://www.precociouscomic.com/archive/comic/2011/01/10 On Cue Ball]] from ''WebComic/{{Precocious}}'' certainly counts.

[[folder: Web Original]]
* [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/top-5-with-lisa-foiles/3001-Top-5-Robots Lisa Foiles' Blender]].
* Andy the Bomb from the {{Machinima}} series ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''; not only is he/it snarky, he's also rude and crude, and he curses a lot.

[[folder: Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': In a CutawayGag, Peter [[PersonAsVerb pulls a]] ''{{Castaway}}''.
--> '''Peter:''' What are we gonna do now?! Wilson! ''WILLLSOOON!''
--> '''"Wilson":''' My name is Voit, dumbass.
* The computer from ''WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog''. You twit. For extra measure, it speaks with a dry English accent.
* WesternAnimation/{{Spongebob|Squarepants}}'s Magic Conch Shell. At least to Squidward.
** Spongebob's swin trunks in "Ripped Pants"
--->'''Spongebob:''' We blew it, pants.\\
'''Pants:''' What do you mean "we"?
* In ''FanboyAndChumChum'', Fanboy's gloved hand comes to life in "Fanboy Stinks" due to Fanboy having gone too long without bathing and starts bossing him around.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic episode "Castle Mane-ia", Rarity voices her displeasure at the Castle of the Two Sisters at not being able to obtain its tapestries. The castle answers by dropping a piece of stone on her head.