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[[quoteright:346:[[ComicBook/CerebusTheAardvark http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Cerebus_soot_2574.jpg]]]]

->''"I'm fine. I have something in my eye, that's all. ''[sobs]'' ...I have something in my other eye. ''[sobbing]'' I have something in my heart..." ''
-->-- '''Creator/StephenColbert'''

Since MenDontCry, they can't very well be seen with OcularGushers or, worse, InelegantBlubbering. So the macho tragic hero will often only shed [[SingleTear a single, sparkling tear]], to accent his pain while making sure he keeps his awesome machismo. Used particularly during a flashback to the tragic past.

In film and TV, the equivalent is the usually stoic hero's eyes getting watery, upon which the more emotional supporting cast will express their surprise to see a show of general empathy. The reply? "[[MenDontCry It's nothing]], I've just got a little sand in my eyes."

Attempts to comfort may provoke DontYouDarePityMe.

Something of a DiscreditedTrope - nowadays it's just as likely to be used to evoke pity for the character's inability to express his emotions honestly as it is to portray them as strong and stoic. That's assuming it's not being outright mocked.

Contrast: ManlyTears, which is admitted; BadDreams, where the hero really can keep it buttoned up ... while awake; TenderTears of exquisite sensibility; SingleTear, InelegantBlubbering. Compare TryingNotToCry, OnionTears, which may also be used as an excuse. The literal case of this trope is often preceded by AHandfulForAnEye.

Not related at all to a certain Charles Atlas advertisement.


* One Geico commercial has the gecko standing on the beach conversing with a crab, closing with his protest, "I'm not crying. I just have a bit of sand in my eyes, that's all."

[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* In ''Manga/TerraFormars'' a funny and heartwarming example occurs in chapter nine of the manga. Alex and Marcos are in tears after learning of Akari's past. Akari, moved to tears himself, comments that they are good guys for [[TenderTears crying so much]]. Both Alex and Marcos insist they aren't crying and that it's only the spices from the hotpot they are eating.
* In Episode 25/Chapter 16 of ''Anime/FullmetalAlchemist'', Roy Mustang stands over [[spoiler:Maes Hughes']] grave, looks up at a clear blue sky and wonders aloud when the rain will stop.
** The Brotherhood version is [[TearJerker even worse]].
---> '''Hawkeye''': Are you alright, Colonel?\\
'''Mustang''': Yes, I'm fine ''(puts on a hat)'' Except... it's a terrible day for rain.\\
'''Hawkeye''': What do you mean? It's not raining.\\
'''Mustang''': ''(looks up with the hat obscuring his eyes, tears falls down his cheek)'' [[BlatantLies Yes... it is]].\\
'''Hawkeye''': So it is.
*** This example has a character specific double meaning. Mustang is skilled in [[PlayingWithFire flame alchemy]] but it requires him and his target to be dry, so his powers don't work in the rain. He's not just trying to come up with an excuse for his tears, he's saying he feels useless.
* [[{{Tsundere}} Yui]] from ''Manga/HououGakuenMisoragumi''.
--->[[spoiler: '''Kei''']]: Yui... Are you crying-
--->'''Yui''': '''I'm not crying!'''
* Mewtwo, during the TearJerker scene in ''Mewtwo Strikes Back'' by Tracey West, a {{novelization}} of ''Anime/PokemonTheFirstMovie'' (not in the movie itself).
** Ash used to use this excuse in early seasons, though he's since learned that men can cry. He typically lowers his head, or tries to, but he's obviously crying.
** Brock starts tearing up after he, Ash, and Misty part ways in "Gotta Catch Ya Later!" He blames onion in his rice ball.
* ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''
** When [[spoiler: Asuma dies]] it's truly pouring cats and dogs. Yet Shikamaru gives himself away by stressing that smoke is stinging his eyes.
** Also, when [[spoiler:Sasuke has seemingly died at the hands of Deidara]], [[spoiler:Itachi]] may or may not be crying for him. We can't be sure, because it's raining pretty hard.
** [[http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/71/13/ Sakura]] does this in a volume 8 flashback.
** Obito Uchiha tries the same line.
--->'''Minato:''' Dust can't get in your eyes when you're [[GogglesDoNothing wearing goggles]], Obito.
* In ''Anime/YuGiOh'', as Joey is about to be disqualified from the Duelist Kingdom semifinals for not having a Glory of the King's Hand card, he is on the ground crying in despair over not being able to save his sister's eyesight. Mai approaches him, telling him to stop crying, and he claims to have a nosebleed. She then gives him her Glory of the King's Hand card, wrapped in a tissue, which Joey notices is damp--implying she cried after losing to Yugi, despite seeming composed as she walked out.
* Variation in ''Anime/MagicalGirlLyricalNanohaAs'', where the WeaponOfMassDestruction who claims to have no emotions says that the tears in her eyes are not hers, but are coming from the person she absorbed. Nanoha and Fate call bullshit.
* After Yue of ''Manga/MahouSenseiNegima'' admits her feelings for Negi and has a minor HeroicBSOD, she uses this excuse to keep Negi from paying too much attention. He's only ten, so he falls for it.
** Also, after Kotarou speaks about his rather tragic past, Konoka says that there's some dust in her eyes while clearly [[http://www.mangafox.com/manga/mahou_sensei_negima/v11/c092/16.html bawling]].
* One aversion worthy of mention is Mihoko Fukuji from ''Manga/{{Saki}}'', who has her [[EyesAlwaysShut right eye always shut]], but when she cries, tears come out from both eyes.
* In ''Manga/BunnyDrop'', when Rin hits her caretaker Daikichi with the proclamation "I like you just being my Daikichi.", Daikichi is moved to tears, but insists it's only sweat. Also an IronicEcho, as sweat was Rin's excuse when she wet the bed.
* ''Manga/OnePiece'''s Franky easily cries the most of the crew, getting emotional at just about any touching story he hears (which is how he ended up helping the strawhats, who used to be enemies in the first place). He NEVER admits it though, saying anything from "THERE'S DUST IN MY EYE!" to "I'M NOT CRYING YOU BASTARDS, I KNEW YOU'D SURVIVE!" there's no single manly tear either, try geysers. Perhaps the most original version was after the crowning moment of funny where Robin attempted to convince him to join the crew with a laser guided groin attack. Franky pretends that she is continuing with her ball-crushing grip long after she's actually let up, so that he can cry without shame about leaving his hometown, brother-figure, and nakama.
** When Nami is captured at Weatheria and put in jail for trying to steal meteorological equipment, she reads about [[spoiler: Ace's death]] in the newspaper and breaks down crying, causing her captors to freak out and release her. She quickly reveals that it was just an act, and she makes off with the equipment she stole, along with one of the meteorologists, who notes that she still hasn't stopped crying.
* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'': Ranma Saotome once used a variation of this excuse after Akane implied that he was crying over her getting hurt.
--> '''Ranma:''' Uh, th- that's just sweat or somethin'. Hmph.
* In ''Manga/LuckyStar'', the manga, Kuroi-sensei and Sakuraba-sensei get Something In Their Eyes after that year's students have graduated and had that final time in class afterward. (Kuroi's was likely exacerbated by Miyuki's little speech at the end.) The strip is called "warning of flying dust".
* In ''Manga/RurouniKenshin'', after Soujiro kills his abusive relatives, he deliberately tilts his head into the rain so that raindrops hide his tears. Realizing this triggers a VillainousBreakdown.
* Akira from ''Manga/AiOreLoveMe'' uses the "flower pollen" excuse when his girlfriend catches him crying, after he thinks she's cheating on him with another girl.
* In chapter 1 of the ''Manga/KotouraSan'' manga, Haruka cried after Manabe mentioned "people who want to leave are going to leave." When Manabe asked, she denied crying and claimed of OnionTears. Manabe of course lampshaded about how fake it is. The {{eyecatch}} that follows have Haruka mentioned she actually ''keeps'' onions at home to make up excuses like this!
* Bleach Meta example: in a fair amount of GreyRainOfDepression, TrainingFromHell and CurbStompBattle scenes in both the Manga and especially the anime it's hard to distinguish between sweat, rain and tears. Although from track coming directly from the eyes or for example in Uryuu's case when talking about his grandfather the voice acting tend to imply a mix of sources.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/BlueBeetle'''s BigGuy pal Paco pulls this in issue #7.
* In the ''DonaldDuck'' story "W.H.A.D.A.L.O.T.T.A.J.A.R.G.O.N", written by Creator/DonRosa, Donald saves his nephews in a plywood mill, and they later give him an award. He tears up, and claims he still got sawdust in his eyes from the mill. One of his nephews points out that it was months before.
* In the last issue of the ''High Society'' arc in ''ComicBook/CerebusTheAardvark'', Cerebus has lost [[spoiler:his position as Prime Minister]] and all his plans have fallen through. He wells up, but vehemently denies crying until he [[TearJerker collapses in the Regency Elf's arms]].
* In the final issue of the ''SpiderMan & ComicBook/FantasticFour'' miniseries, when the Four reiterate that Spidey is part of their family, he claims to have some web in his eye.
* In ''ComicBook/TheAvengers'' #216, when [[CatFolk Tigra]] leaves the team:
-->'''Tigra:''' Jarv, you sexy, old hound dog, are you crying?\\
'''Jarvis:''' A good butler never cries while on duty, madame! -sniff- It must be my allergy to felines making my eyes tear!
* In the one-shot comic ''X-Men Origins: Deadpool'', a screenwriter visits the eponymous mercenary's apartment because he thinks his story would make for a great film. When Deadpool finishes telling the screenwriter about his childhood, which involves a DisappearedDad and an alcoholic mother, he takes a moment to lift up his mask and wipe his eyes because "[[BlatantLies the air conditioning is crap in here.]]"

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* Inverted in a ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' strip, when Garfield and Jon watch the sunset together:
-->'''Jon:''' You have something in your eye?\\
'''Garfield:''' Yes, a little speck of sentiment.

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* ''WebAnimation/TurnaboutStorm'' has [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Rainbow]] breaking in tears [[spoiler:after Fluttershy's speech on why she helped her even after all the horrible things Rainbow had told her in the morning]].
-->'''Fluttershy:''' There, there; it's okay Rainbow Dash. There's no need to cry.\\
'''Rainbow:''' I'm not crying! I-It's just my... *Sob* ''alergieeees!''
* On the fan-run [[FourthWallMailSlot Ask]] [[Manga/KurokoNoBasuke Midorima]] Tumblr blog, [[http://ask-midorima.tumblr.com/post/26275066272 someone asks if Midorima was crying after he lost to Seirin.]] He replies defensively that it was raining -- which it was, but his reply was so ''very'' defensive that it seemed to be a case of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.
* Luffy gets emotionally affected pretty easily in ''Fanfic/SolInvictus'', more so than in canon. She also doesn't want to admit it when it happens.
* ''Fanfic/TheBridge'': Monster X sheds tears when [[spoiler:Aria Blaze, whom he had fallen in love with]], seemingly dies. When she revives, he blames his tears on the pain of his injuries.
* After [[GenderFlip Luluka]] visits Milly's grave in ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11292442/15/Nil-Desperandum Nil Desperandum]]'', C.C. apologizes for her having to visit on such a rainy day (despite them being in Pendragon which is in the middle of Arizona).

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* ''Disney/BrotherBear2'': Tuke manages to win the hearts of two female moose named Anda and Kata, leaving Rutt heartbroken. At the part with Tuke and the female moose watching the auroras, this exchange occurs:
-->'''Anda:''' Are you crying?\\
'''Rutt:''' No, I mean, well, yeah, so what, eh? The light's so beautiful, eh?
* Played with in ''WesternAnimation/IceAge3DawnOfTheDinosaurs''. After [[spoiler:Peaches is born]] Diego is pushing away a tear. When called on it, he first invokes the trope. "No, no, that last dino caught my eye with a claw and..." and then subverts it "Alright, so [[ManlyTears I'm not made of stone]]." Later, Crash and Eddie repeat the trope.
-->'''Crash:''' [[TryingNotToCry I Promised Myself I Wouldn't Cry.]]\\
'''Eddie:''' I didn't. (''turns on the waterworks'')
* In ''Disney/TheLionKingOneAndAHalf'', cinema!Timon says a variation of this after watching the scene where movie!Timon and movie!Pumbaa stare at each other in a TearJerker (perhaps) scene. It was obvious that cinema!Timon was bursting into tears.
* In ''Disney/AtlantisTheLostEmpire'', after Kida takes Milo to a high place to overlook the whole of Atlantis, Milo sheds a few tears of joy and when Kida asked what's wrong, he just said he had something in his eye.
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSpongeBobMovieSpongeOutOfWater'', [=SpongeBob=] notices Plankton tearing up after having to [[spoiler:shut down Karen to build the time machine]].
-->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Plankton, are you crying?\\
'''Plankton:''' No, no, no, that's the price of having a giant eyeball. Stuff always gets in there.
* In ''Disney/TreasurePlanet'', Silver starts to tear up while [[spoiler: hugging Jim goodbye]]. He claims he has "grease" in his eye.
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHqfiO7gWs8 Bubbles's]] interview of ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirlsMovie'', she claims [[BlatantLies that she doesn't ever cry]][[note]]And while she says this, it [[ImplausibleDeniability cuts to a scene where she is doing so]][[/note]] and that she "just gets something in her eye".
-->'''Narrator''': In fact, a newspaper called you and your sisters "bug eyed freaks".
-->'''Female News Reporter:''' They are little freaks, aren't they?
-->'''Bubbles:''' Why would they do that? ''[wells up a little]'' That's really, really mean! ''[sniffles, covers up face with hands]'' Oh, I seem to be getting something in my eye again.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* Hal Holbrook's Oscar-nominated supporting role in ''Film/IntoTheWild'' culminates in one of these.
* Eden from ''Film/{{Doomsday}}'' is normally [[TheStoic stoic]], almost to the point of DullSurprise, but when she cries, it's only from one eye. Justified in that her right eye was damaged when she was a child (possibly damaging the tear duct) and she got a new one.
* ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay''. John Conner is talking to the Terminator about his mother Sarah Conner and his father Kyle Reese.
-->'''John:''' Mom and him were only together for one night. She still loves him, I guess. I see her crying sometimes. She denies it totally, of course, like she got something stuck in her eye.
* When ''Film/ThePassionOfTheChrist'' was going around, ''The Guardian'' ran a humor article with useful phrases for the movie (in Aramaic, of course!). One of them was "I'm not crying; I've just got a [[http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Mat&c=7#comm/3 mote in my eye]]."
* PlayedForLaughs in the 1994 remake of ''Film/AngelsInTheOutfield''. One of the ball players pokes fun at Coach Knox for shedding a tear during the playing of the "Star Spangled Banner" before a game, but Knox shrugs it off as sunscreen getting in his eye.
* In ''Film/{{Life|1999}}'', when the story of Ray and Claude's life and death is finished, one of the young inmates notices the other is crying. He replies that he must be allergic to something.
* In the film adaptation of ''Film/TheBabysittersClub'', Kristy protests to her mother that she's not crying - she's got allergies.
* A variation in ''Film/BladeRunner'': After the BattleInTheRain, the antagonist gives a final speech about all the wonders he has seen in the course of his brief life, concluding that all these things will be lost "like tears in the rain." It's left ambiguous as to whether he himself is crying, [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman which works very well with the themes of the film.]]
* In ''Film/DeathBecomesHer'', this is Helen's excuse for crying at Ernest's funeral at the end.
* In ''Film/OzTheGreatAndPowerful'', when Oz sneaks up to show Finley that he's FakingTheDead, Finley blames his tears on the smoke.
* ''The Sicilian'' (1987). The boss-of-bosses for TheMafia in Sicily, Don Croce Malo, is being taken to a meeting with famous bandit Salvatore Guiliano. As they drive to the meeting place, Guiliano's men are lining the road, cheering this "man of honor". Don Malo cites the dusty road as the reason he has to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes.
* ''[[Creator/ClintEastwood Bronco Billy]]'' has RichBitch Antoinette, tears streaming down her face, insisting she's not crying. The smoke-filled bar is irritating her eyes.
* In ''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2014'', as the Turtles [[spoiler:are falling to their apparent doom,]] Raphael gives a heartfelt confession only to be stopped [[spoiler:by Donny informing him they've landed safely.]] Then the following takes place:
-->'''Michelangelo''': "Raph, are you crying?"\\
'''Raphael''': "Nah ding-dong... *sniffles* It's just a little dusty out here."
* Following the RuleOfThree in ''Film/{{Annie 2014}}'':
** Stacks gets teary-eyed but doesn't mention it.
** When he shows Annie where he grew up in Queens, he plays it off as pollen or dust.
** When he's about to lose Annie to her "real parents", she asks him if it's dusty and he says it's not. He then admits on TV that he's actually crying.

* ''Literature/MurderOnTheOrientExpress''. Literature/HerculePoirot leads a certain character onto a certain line of conversation; the character in question suddenly complains that something outside the window is dazzling his eyes. His reaction proves to be a clue.
* The first sign of Ebenezer Scrooge's impending HeelFaceTurn in Creator/CharlesDickens' ''Literature/AChristmasCarol'' is a SingleTear on his cheek as he sees a vision of his childhood. When the Ghost of Christmas Past calls him on it, he claims it is a pimple - a moment that manages to be funny and poignant at the same time.
** Mrs. Cratchit also has a moment, during the [[AlternateTimeline alternate future]] that The Ghost of Christmas Future shows to Scrooge. In it, Mrs. Cratchit, busy with some sewing, heard her older son reading the line, “And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them.” It caused her to think of [[TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth Tiny Tim]] and she began to cry, in front of her children. She's able to stop herself and tells them that she wasn't crying, claiming; "The colour [of the fabric] hurts my eyes."
* Creator/LewisCarroll in ''Literature/SylvieAndBruno'': "I felt very happy too, but of course I didn't cry: 'big things' never do, you know, we leave all that to the Fairies. Only I think it must have been raining a little just then, for I found a drop or two on my cheeks."
* ''Literature/DangerousLiaisons'': The "It's beyond my control" scene when the Viscount dumps his woman, so the Marquise can't get to her.
* ''Literature/TheBabySittersClub'': Kristy pulls this one in TheMovie, claiming to her mother that "I've got ''allergies''!"
* After Porthos's death in the final chapters of ''[[Literature/TheThreeMusketeers The Vicomte De Bragelonne]]'', Aramis spends the night leaning against the bulwarks of the ship he's on. The next morning, his servant comments that it must have been a humid night since the wood he's been leaning his head on is damp. ''"What epitaph would have been worth that?"''
* In Creator/DanAbnett's ''Literature/GauntsGhosts'' story "In Remembrance", Larkin cries as they go through a war-torn city and believe their commander may be dying; Feygor jeers at him for his weakness, and he says, "It's... it's something in my eye." (That does not put off Feygor, but the other troopers with them support Larkin.)
** Also from that series, ''Only In Death'': Hark writes that he thought he saw [[spoiler: Rawne]] tear up when he learned [[spoiler: Gaunt was alive]]. Hark attributed it to the dust.
** ''Straight Silver'': after a conversation with Kolea in which Criid briefly thinks that his comments show that he has ''some'' memory after his head injury, and then learns that she had misinterpreted something he said, another Ghost asks if she's all right. She tells him, "Grit in my eyes."
** In ''His Last Command'', after a [[SenselessSacrifice futile attempt]] to blow up [[CoolGate a Chaos warp gate]], Brostin insists on carrying the "wounded" Feygor back. Gaunt succeeds in persuading him that Feygor is dead.
--->''Brostin gently laid Feygor's body on the wet grass. Rain streamed off his beard like tears.''
* In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'', after Dumbledore told Harry about his mother's death:
-->''Dumbledore now became very interested in a bird out on the window-sill, which gave Harry time to dry his eyes on the sheet.''
** Then, in ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince'', when Harry told Dumbledore about Scrimgeour's saying he was "Dumbledore's man through and through" and that he said it was true, Harry looked away until Dumbledore had controlled himself. Though it's Harry and not Dumbledore who's embarrassed by the tears.
* Apparently Songbreeze from ''{{Literature/Redwall}}'' has such a touching, pure voice that it makes her battle-ready father cry. And he blames it on a gnat.
* ''Franchise/{{Star Wars|Expanded Universe}}'': When Talon Kardde learns fellow smuggler captain Shada D'ukal wasn't, in fact, on her ship when it [[HeroicSacrifice self-destructed]] to disable a hostile capital ship.
* In ''The High King'', the last novel of Creator/LloydAlexander's ''Literature/TheChroniclesOfPrydain'', when Fflewdur Flam sacrifices his harp for firewood, he complains of how it smokes, though it burns with very little smoke.
* Creator/GrahamMcNeill 's ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'' ''Literature/{{Ultramarines}}'' novel ''Dead Sky Black Sun'', stripped of his captaincy and exiled from the Chapter world, Uriel washes himself after a bout, and looks in a mirror.
-->''droplets trickled like tears down his reflection's cheek''
* Both applying to this and Live Action TV, the titular character of ''The Story Of Tracy Beaker'' usually passes off any instance of her crying as "hay fever".
* A slight variant appears in one of the {{Sharpe}} novels, in which the RSM dies of a stomach wound, telling Sharpe (who is holding his hand): "I'll not cry, sir. They'll not say they saw me cry." He's weeping with pain as he speaks.
* In Creator/JimButcher's ''Literature/DresdenFiles'':
** ''Literature/TurnCoat'':
--->''"Ana," he said, almost choking on the words. "You... you think that I... How could you think that I would...?"\\
He turned his face away. It couldn't have been a tear. Not from [[spoiler:Morgan]]. He wouldn't shed tears if he had to execute his own mother.\\
But for a fraction of a second, something shone on one of his cheeks.''
** ''Literature/SmallFavor'': when [[spoiler:Charity insists that he stay with them at the hospital until they have news of Michael]], Harry's vision blurs.
* In Creator/DavidDrake's ''Patriots'', the Woodsrunners go to punish a magistrate appointed by their enemies. When the Woodsrunners start a fire, meaning to burn the fellow's home and all his possessions, he insists that the tears on his face are from the smoke. After a minute or two, their leader puts out the fire, giving the magistrate a reprieve, and explains later that "There ain't so many brave men that I want to chase one off Greenwood unless I have to."
* In the children's book ''Harry Cat's Pet Puppy'', once Harry and Tucker finally find a home for Huppy and he moves out of the drainpipe, Tucker confesses to wiping "a little leftover rain" from his eye. Harry comments that "We've been home an hour."
* The [[TheAbridgedHistory none too serious history book]] ''[[Literature/TenSixtySixAndAllThat 1066 And All That]]'' mentions that Cardinal Wolsey fell from grace since he "although (as is well known) he had not thought to shed a tear about all this, did ultimately shed a memorable one."
* ''Literature/FlowersForAlgernon'' combines this with InnocentInaccurate; the mentally disabled Charlie, who's being used as an experimental subject, writes in one of his progress reports about going out drinking with some "friends" of his from the factory where he works. It's very clear to Miss Kinnian, his teacher, that these "friends" are actually just taking him with them so that they can make fun of him, and when he tells her that they've never been anything but good to him, "she got something in her eye and she had to run out to the ladys room."
* In the new Marvel prose ''RocketAndGrootStealTheGalaxy'', Rocket tears up when their new robot friend (172) is leaving. It's not described outright, but alluded to in the dialogue.
-->"Are you sad, Rocket Raccoon?\\
"Nah, nah. Just got some dust in my eyes."

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* Parodied to hell and back in the Music/FlightOfTheConchords song "I'm Not Crying" - "I'm not upset because you've left me this way, my eyes are just a little sweaty today", "It's just raining / [[PersonalRaincloud on my face]]", "I've just been [[OnionTears cutting onions]] / I'm making a lasagna / [[EatingLunchAlone for one]]"...
* Creator/StephenColbert, insisting during [[TVStrikes the 2008 Writers' Strike]] that he's fine doing the show by himself and doesn't need his writers anyway:
--> ''[tearing up]'' I'm fine. I have something in my eye, that's all. ''[sobs]'' ...I have something in my other eye. ''[sobbing]'' I have something in my heart...
** Also used (in a more [[HilariousOuttakes adlib]] fashion) during the infamous Filliam H. Muffman clip, when Colbert couldn't stop laughing.
** And Stephen was ''not'' crying during the 2009 inauguration special. It was just allergies. Really.
* On the ''Series/HerculesTheLegendaryJourneys'' episode "The Other Side", Hercules goes to the Elysian Fields and reunites with his lost family. His daughter asks him if he's crying. He tells her that Daddy isn't crying, the wind just blew something in his eye and then hugs her like he'll never let her go.
* A rare female example, from ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'': when it is pointed out that Seven is crying after most of the Borg children leave, she claims that her ocular implant is malfunctioning. Subverted when the Doctor finds that it really was a malfunction. Inverted at the end when Icheb informs her that her implant is malfunctioning again, and the Doctor point out that it's working perfectly.
* In the ''Series/That70sShow'' episode "Jackie Moves On", Kelso denies that he cried after Jackie broke up with him:
-->'''Kelso:''' I did not cry! I had something in my eye.\\
'''Hyde:''' For a week?\\
'''Kelso:''' I have allergies, allright? ''(beat)'' Is it so wrong to feel?!
* In one episode of ''Series/TheRedGreenShow'', “School Demo”, the gang demolishes their old school. Initially they are thrilled, but when Harold causes them to reminisce about their past, the men become emotional and many spend the rest of the episode crying uncontrollably. At the end of the episode, Red tries to explain away their crying by saying the dust from the demolition made them all teary-eyed, and that next time they should practice proper safety and wear goggles. The rest of the men immediately agree. Though it doesn't last as Dalton notices that the pair of goggles Red takes out to show everyone resembles his late father's old pair and starts bawling again, [[EverybodyCries followed by the rest of the men]] (except a frustrated Red).
* After a poignant scene in ''Series/{{Castle}}'' between him and his daughter, who he just dropped off for the first day of college:
--> '''Martha''': Darling, are you crying?
--> '''Castle''': No, it's allergies... I've... pollen count is high.
--> '''Martha''': Pollen count's gotten me too.
--> ''They hug each other, and are both obviously crying.''
* Series/TheOfficeUS:
--> '''Darryl''': Stop crying.
--> '''Andy''': I'm not crying. I'm sweating.
* In ''Series/DowntonAbbey'' S2, at the [[spoiler: deathbed]] wedding of servants William and Daisy, the aristocratic [[StiffUpperLip stiff-upper-lipped]] Dowager Countess can't help sniffling.
--> '''Violet''': I have a cold.
* At the ending of an episode of "Series/{{The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams}}", Adams, upon seeing his friend Mad Jack tearing up after they'd said an emotional goodbye to someone they helped throughout the episode, has the following exchange:
--> '''Adams''': Got something in your eyes?
--> '''Mad Jack''': Oh, it's nothing. Just some smoke from the campfire.
--> '''Adams''': Ah.
--> ''*beat*''
--> '''Adams''': Must've been a pretty strong campfire.
--> '''Mad Jack''': Why do you say that?
--> '''Adams''': It's been out for a day.
* In ''Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace'', Justin's "allergies" start acting up when he gets sad.
* Invoked in the ItsAWonderfulPlot episode of ''Series/MorkAndMindy.'' In the alternate reality where they have never met, Mindy's marriage to someone else has just blown up. She and her father are about to take a walk together when her father looks up at the sky and says, "Oh, what a shame. It's starting to rain." Mindy replies that she would rather walk in the rain anyway, because "then nobody knows you're crying."
* Toward the end of the classic ''Series/DoctorWho'' arc, "The Dalek Invasion of Earth", as she says goodbye to David, with whom she had fallen in love, Susan explains the tears in her eyes by saying, "I lost my shoe," before falling into his arms and confessing her love for him. The Doctor, seeing this, chooses to leave Susan behind to be with David. In the Series 9 Christmas episode, the Husbands of River Song, River notices the Doctor crying because he knows that this is the last time he will see her. He tells her that it's 'just the wind.'
* Inverted in ''Series/ManVFood'' when Adam tries pasta made with ''three'' ghost peppers and blames his crying on having watched ''Lassie'' before the show.
* ''Series/BarneyAndFriends'': BJ uses this excuse in the episode "Sharing", when Riff accidentally breaks his bicycle.
--> '''Barney''': Are you OK, BJ?
--> '''BJ''': ''(tearing up)'' Yeah sure. I just think I got something my eye. I think I better check it out... ''(walks off)''
* ''Series/SesameStreet'': Elmo uses this excuse in episode #4424, upon getting emotional during the "wedding" of Rocco, Zoe's pet rock.
--> '''Zoe''': Elmo, are you crying?
--> '''Elmo''': ''(choked up)'' No! Elmo just has something in his eye.
* In the episode "Phone Home" from ''Series/LegendsOfTomorrow,'' the heroes watch as they see a baby alien reunite with its mother and they both teleport back to their ship. Nate starts crying, but says that he just has some "alien goo" in his eyes. Sarah also says the same thing.
** In the finale of the ''Series/CrisisOnEarthX'' crossover, everyone attends [[spoiler: Martin Stein's funeral]]. After Jax finishes delivering his speech, there's this:
-->'''Earth-X!Snart''': ''(sees Mick wiping his tears)'' That's it, big guy, let it out.
-->'''Mick''': Alergies. ''(walks away angry)''

* "Crying In the Rain," originally done by Music/TheEverlyBrothers, has the subject stating that he intends to hide his tears by only crying when it is raining.
* In "Raindrops" by [[GenderBlenderName Dee]] Clark, the male subject is claiming it must be raindrops falling from his eyes. "No, it can't be teardrops, for a [[MenDontCry man ain't supposed to cry.]]"
** Similarly inverted with "You Don't Have to Be a Baby to Cry" by The Caravelles, a British female duo who preceded Music/TheBeatles onto the U.S. charts by a few weeks: "These aren't raindrops in my eyes, why should I lie?/You don't have to be a baby to cry."
* "I Wish It Would Rain" by The Temptations has the singer wanting to cry, and frustrated by the beautiful blue sky that won't give him the desired cover up.
* Creator/JeffFoxworthy ends his "Redneck Twelve Days of Christmas" with this spoken exchange:
--> Are you crying?
--> Naw, it's just my allergies.

[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
* On the first {{Wrestling/ECW}} "One Night Stand", Paul Heyman standing in the ring as the fans chant "Thank You Paul". He insisted that his eyes were red and watery because he'd been sharing a blunt with Rob Van Dam, not because he was crying. Yes, wrestling is scripted, but not everything is. This was not.

* In ''Radio/AdventuresInOdyssey'', Eugene's later conversion was foreshadowed when he begins to cry at a Nativity scene shown to him in the Imagination Station. However, when Connie asks him if he's crying, he responds that he has hay fever and the stable "aggravated [his] sinuses".
* In the ''Radio/OldHarrysGame'' episode "A Four Letter Word", Satan arranges for a ''Film/{{Casablanca}}'' remake to be screened for the demons, with the intent that their reaction will humiliate the screenwriter. To his horror, they start to find it moving.
-->'''Satan''': Right, that's it. I can hear a demon blubbing. Is it you?\\
'''Demon''': No, no, I've just got dust in me eyes.
* In the ''Radio/CabinPressure'' episode "Boston", the [[AssholeVictim asshole passenger]] Mr. Leeman makes Martin cry when he calls him a "flying cabbie" (as opposed to someone with a real job at a real airline). Martin insists the smoke from Leeman's cigarettes got in his eyes. Douglas, not fooled, sings 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes' at him.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* The "Literal Lyrics" version of the infamous trailer for ''Videogame/DeadIsland'' invokes the Trope.
-->I'm not cry-ing, there's some-thing in both my ... ''eyes''.
* In ''VideoGame/DevilMayCry 3'', Dante sheds a tear for [[spoiler:his lost brother Vergil.]]
-->'''Lady''': ...Are you Crying?
-->'''Dante''': ...It's only the rain.
-->'''Lady''': ...The rain already stopped.
-->'''Dante''': [[ArcWords ...Devils never cry.]]
-->'''Lady''': Maybe somewhere out there, even a [[TitleDrop devil may cry]] when he looses a loved one. Don't'cha think?
-->'''Dante''': Maybe.
* In the second part of ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War]]'', [[spoiler:Levin literally says there's just sand in his eyes when he cries onces. Specifically, if he's paired with [[{{Tsundere}} Tiltyu]] in the first part and their daughter [[ShrinkingViolet Tinny]] tells him [[BreakTheCutie about Tiltyu's sad end]]]].
* Franchise/{{Disgaea}}
** Inverted in the good ending of ''VideoGame/DisgaeaHourOfDarkness'', where [[spoiler:Laharl sheds a tear for Angel-turned-flower [[LoveFreak Flonne]], and says out loud: "What is this...? A tear...? ... Hmph. I never knew I could shed tears."]]
** Played straight by Seraphina and Red Magnus in ''VideoGame/{{Disgaea 5}}'', who both lie about their crying (Seraphina attempting to stifle a bored yawn; Red Magnus sweating from his heart) when Killia [[spoiler:deciphers the ingredients to the Toto Bunny Special Sweet Curry, as derived by Usalia's parents before their untimely deaths]]. Zeroken breaks down and admits to crying after hearing their "excuses".
* At the ending of ''VideoGame/Uncharted2AmongThieves'', Nathan Drake claims that the tears he shed [[spoiler: when he thought Elena was dead]] were just the rain.
-->'''Nathan''': It was raining and you were unconscious.\\
'''[[spoiler:Elena]]''': It was sunny, and you were bawling. Whatever, I kept your tears in a jar. I have proof.
* Sheila ([[EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep Yang's wife]]) in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIV'' claims [[BlatantLies she has something in her eye]] when Cecil tells her that Yang is alive in the care of the Sylphs. She then give you [[PercussiveMaintenance a frying pan]] with which to [[CrowningMomentOfFunny wake him up]].
* Played for laughs in ''VideoGame/TheCurseOfMonkeyIsland'', in the scene where Guybrush discusses with the Voodoo priestess the way to lift the curse put on Elaine. The priestess mentions he has to replace the ring with a pure one found on an island, for which she recites the values of that ring:
-->'''Voodoo Lady''': The value of the ring on Blood Island comes from its emotional significance. It represents a pure, true love, a power greater than any other.\\
'''Guybrush''': Oh, that's sweet. I... I think I have something in my eye.\\
'''Voodoo Lady''': (points at him in a strict manner) Do not mock the voodoo priestess.
* Maha of ''VideoGame/MapleStory'' makes this claim once, only for him it's a little more egregious than usual- he's a ''[[EquippableAlly polearm]]'' and doesn't have eyes to begin with- since nobody but the protagonist can see his ghostly human form, presumably it's not tangible...
* Subverted in comic fashion in ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'''s True Pacifist ending:
-->'''Papyrus''': I didn't cry!!! I don't cry!! I just... caught something in my eye.\\
'''Sans''': What did you catch?\\
'''Papyrus''': [[ShapedLikeItself TEARS!!]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0445.html This]] ''[[Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick Order of the Stick]]'' strip. [[TearJerker For the readers too.]] The line itself is subverted in the next frame, as [[TokenEvilTeammate Belkar]] gets the "something" out of the hobgoblin's eye. With a dagger.
* ''Webcomic/{{Nedroid}}'''s Reginald is [[http://nedroid.com/2010/03/this-movie-moves-me/ just allergic]]... to being sad.
* ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'': When Davan plays a Creator/JimHenson [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp08032005.shtml memorial song to Jason to prove a point]], after Jason made fun of a workmate who played sad songs and cried over them, Davan himself ends up with "some backfired plan in my eye".
** Similarly, [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp04102005.shtml Choo-Choo gets "a bit of forgotten childhood"]] stuck in his eyes during a Q&A session.
* In ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}'', Monique asks Slick to take off his [[SunglassesAtNight ever-present sunglasses]] as a sign that he's serious about his love for her. He can't bring himself to do it...until long after she's already walked off, [[http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2609 leading to a "got something in my eye" comment in the last panel]].
* In ''Webcomic/TheSpecialists'', [[http://thespecialistscomic.com/page-65/ Max has allergies]], after his father dropped him off with an apology for not being supportive and telling him to go on his own, to make his colleagues respect him as a man.
* Angus from ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'' [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2004 insists that]] his TenderTears are due to allergies.
* In ''Webcomic/NoRestForTheWicked'', [[http://www.forthewicked.net/archive/02-34.html when the Beast is complaining about people coming and making a mess because they can come and go as they please, he says he got some dust in his eye.]]
* Onni from ''WebComic/StandStillStaySilent'' cries much more easily that he likes to admit. If someone notices his red eyes or sniffling, he tends to claim that he's allergic to the first thing that pops into his mind. He has been so far seen claiming an allergy to travel and an allergy to Sweden (he's Finnish).
* ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance'': In chapter 62, after hearing about how his actions may have caused TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt, Torg runs outside and then claims that a) he had something in his eye, b) he ran off to the bathroom to clean his eye, and c) he couldn't tell that "outside" wasn't "bathroom" because he had something in his eye. In the next comic, Riff holds a log and says --
--> '''Riff''': Wow, you really ''did'' have something in your eye!
--> '''Torg''': I told you!
--> '''Riff''': Tears!
--> '''Torg''': Very funny. What's with the log?
--> '''Riff''': Prop-humor. Nevermind.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'': In "Ayla and the Birthday Brawl", when Ayla's efforts fail to get ''his'' body fixed back to normal, he doesn't cry. No, it's something in the air conditioning ducts.
* Creator/{{Tobuscus}}' "Literal Dead Island Trailer" has him tearfully singing ''I'm not crying, there's something in both my eyes...''

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** Mocked when Moe is touched by Marge's gift of a homemade sweater.
--->'''Moe:''' I've got something in my eye. (''digs something from his eye'') Oh, it's just a piece of glass.
** He says the same thing in ''Like Father, Like Clown'' (although it really is tears this time).
** PlayedWith after the two aliens Kang and Kodos watched Maggie's TastesLikeDiabetes scenes. It turns out they really are vomiting.
--->''These aren't tears! We're [[BizarreAlienBiology vomiting through our eyes!]]"
** Mr.Burns says this to Smithers while they're at the theatre.
* ''WesternAnimation/MonsterAllergy'': "I'm not crying! My eyes are sweating!"
* Nicely subverted in the ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'' animated series. After thinking {{Superman}} had been killed, the members of the League are understandably pleased to see him alive and well.
--> '''Superman:''' I'm fine. Very glad to be home. ...Flash?\\
'''Flash:''' ''[sniff]'' Something in my eyes.\\
'''Green Lantern:''' Yeah, tears. It's OK, man. We all feel the same way.
* Fozzie on ''WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies'' actually cries pretty hard when he tries to give up comedy, but that doesn't stop him from saying, "Sorry, joke -- er, smoke got in my eye."
* Played with at the end of one ''WesternAnimation/MenInBlack'' animated series episode, as K's implied love interest takes off in her ship, leaving Earth for an unknown length of time. K (who'd mentioned the fuel fumes from the spaceships earlier) makes a point of putting on his shades.
-->'''J:''' (''solemnly regards K for a moment'') Fuel fumes really sting the eyes, huh?\\
'''K:''' Yeah. (''J puts a hand on his shoulder'')
* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'':
** Interestingly inverted in one episode. Buford has lost his pet goldfish, the one he won as a young boy, and is understandably devastated. But, being the neighborhood bully, he has a reputation to uphold. When one of the characters asks "Are you crying?" Buford replies, "No, I'm just sweating through my eyes!". Later, Isabella asks "Buford... are you sweating through your eyes?", he replies "No, I'm crying!" but that just may be because he's being contrary.
** Played straight with a ContinuityNod in TheMovie, when Major Monogram tears up at an emotional scene and uses the same excuse to Carl.
** In another episode, Buford cries, admiring the invention of the day; Baljeet asks if he is crying. Buford answers "No: you are crying!" and then puts his own tear on Baljeet's eye.
* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'':
** "Chasing Bobby" has Hank crying in an emotional scene in a movie, which alarms Peggy [[spoiler:because he knows his long time truck is dying]]. Hank denies it by saying he has something in his eye. Peggy wants him to admit it and even takes him to an eye doctor.
** Another time Peggy declares, "I have something in my eye, but I am also crying."
* ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'':
** In the half-episode "Roachie", Kim tears up after Ron has to let go of Roachie ([[ItMakesSenseInContext a dog-sized cockroach]]). When Rufus notices it, she complains that the wind's coming off miles of garbage, where Roachie is let go.
** In "A Sitch in Time", when it seems that Team Possible is [[BreakingTheFellowship breaking up for good]], Ron says he has something in his eyes and signals his departure.
* In ''Franchise/CareBears to the Rescue Movie'', even Grumpy, who spent the whole episode complaining, is moved by Cheer and her new pet's goodbye. When the others notice this, he just says, "What? I have allergies."
* In ''WesternAnimation/JimmyTwoShoes'', when a bird is reunited with his mother, Jimmy and Beezy cry... and so does [[AxCrazy Heloise]]. When they comment on this, she claims she has a feather in her eye.
* ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfTheGummiBears'':
** [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Gruffi Gummi]] uses this trope in the episode "Gummi Dearest".
** Cubbi also uses this trope in the episode "Up, Up, and Away".
* In ''WesternAnimation/SagwaTheChineseSiameseCat'', Fu-Fu goes through this twice in the episodes "Sagwa's Lucky Bat" and "Panda-monium".
* Shining Armor sheds "liquid pride" at [[spoiler:his sister's coronation]] in the [[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS3E13MagicalMysteryCure season 3 finale]] of ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''.
* On ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'' Rick and Morty have a falling out before they're captured by Evil Rick. Evil Rick looks through Rick's memories, and Rick starts to cry when he sees a series of images about Morty. Evil Rick mocks him for crying, and Rick snarks "No, I'm just allergic to dipshits".
* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Beetlejuice}}'' episode "Doomie's Romance," B.J. gets emotional after the attempt to bring Mayor Maynot's pink convertible to life proves successful.
-->'''Lydia:''' (''wiping tears from her eyes'') Why, Beetlejuice... I do believe you're crying!\\
'''Beetlejuice:''' Nah... I just got a little sand in my eyes.
* ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPandaLegendsOfAwesomeness'' has Po claim to have "sweaty eyes".
* Happens in ''WesternAnimation/TopCat'' when the gang adopts an abandoned baby, only to have to give him back when the mother reclaims him.
-->'''Top Cat:''' What's the matter? Ain't you never seen a guy with somethin' in his eye before?\\
'''Choo Choo:''' Sure we did, T.C., but not you.
* Similar to the above example, with the same species of animal no less, is the end of the ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' cartoon "Smitten with Kittens". Rita and Runt "adopt" a litter of stray kittens, but eventually give them up to a human owner. Runt [[OcularGushers cries a big puddle of tears]] as he says goodbye – Rita, despite having [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold grumbled and refused to bond with the kittens through the cartoon]], drops a tear into the puddle too, then remarks "It's, uh, starting to rain..." which conveniently, it is.
* {{Parodied|Trope}} in the ''WesternAnimation/WanderOverYonder'' episode "My Fair Hatey". Wander claims he has something in his eye after learning Lord Dominator seems to be inviting Lord Hater on a date, then immediately admits it's "these TearsOfJoy."
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Sixteen}}'''s "Snow Job", Nikki tries a variant of this excuse when Jonesy first asks her why she's crying all alone in the ice rink.
* In ''WesternAnimation/MarvinTheTapDancingHorse'', Stripes the Tiger uses this excuse in the episode, "Eddy's Fortune" when, after getting attached to a lost puppy, tears up when the latter is reunited with his owner.
--> '''Stripes''': What are you looking at? It's just my allergies acting up. I must be allergic to dogs...
* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/StormHawks,'' Stork starts getting all teary eyed as he and the others watch as the Corneal lets his pet go into the wild. When Junko sees him crying, he says it's allergies.

[[folder:Real Life]]
* During his presidential campaign in 1972, Democratic candidate Ed Muskie made an emotional speech, defending his wife from some unpleasant journalist smear. The press reported that he broke down and cried; he insisted that what had appeared as tears were actually melted snowflakes.
* Creator/DavidTennant's last [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hSgbmtt-QM video diary]] for ''Series/DoctorWho'' shows him trying to remain composed as he knows he is about to say goodbye to the show's cast and crew, though his voice keeps cracking and he can't stand still. It's rather {{Adorkable}}.
* The Japanese have a verb for pretending you're not crying: ''shinobinaku.'' Which literally means "ninja crying." Sounds a little more badass now, doesn't it?
* Comments left for sad videos online tend to have a running theme of "damn onions," "damn allergies", or more imaginatively, "Ninjas [[OnionTears chopping onions]] nearby".