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[[quoteright:227:[[Webcomic/MenageA3 http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/openmouthinsertfoot.jpg]]]]

->''"Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practised for a good many years."''
-->-- '''[[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]'''

A character with a big mouth says something stupid or, better yet, self-incriminating, often with the subject of their commentary standing nearby or, better yet, [[RightBehindMe right behind them]]. Usually the twin trope to or immediately followed by DidIJustSayThatOutLoud or ThatCameOutWrong.

The trope name comes from the phrase "to put your foot in your mouth" (also playfully referred to as "foot-in-mouth disease", a pun on the very serious livestock illness "foot-''and''-mouth disease").[[note]]Which in turn is not to be confused with the rather less serious [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand,_foot_and_mouth_disease hand, foot, and mouth disease]], which primarily afflicts small children and is generally speaking a week's nuisance at worst.[[/note]]

A subtrope of FeeFiFauxPas and closely related to IgnoreTheDisability.

Can lead to any of the following: ChangeTheUncomfortableSubject, DiggingYourselfDeeper, DidIJustSayThatOutLoud, ThatCameOutWrong. Sometimes more than one.


[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* Tsurubami Kamome from ''Manga/MedakaBox'' actually gets kicked in the mouth '''twice''' for doing this too often. [[MadeOfIron Not that it hurts him]].
* ''Anime/CowboyBebop'': Spike is ''very'' aware of this trope.
--> "Open foot, insert mouth."
* [[FragileFlower Latvia]] of ''Webcomic/AxisPowersHetalia'' is prone to this, which is a very bad thing when [[{{Yandere}} Russia]] is constantly hanging over your shoulder. Often closely followed by Lithuania or Estonia's "[[SayMyName Latviaaaaaaaaaaa]]!"
-->'''Latvia''': I do feel safer in his hairy arms.\\
'''Estonia''': [[LampshadeHanging You should really keep your mouth more closed.]]
* Done in epic fashion in ''Anime/DeathNote'' when L asks Light how, [[AmateurSleuth as a detective]], he would go about trapping Kira, Light's secret SerialKiller alter-ego. Once Light has given L his answer, L "praises" him by pointing out that while it usually takes professional investigators several minutes to even come up with an answer to that question, Light immediately responded with an answer that a serial killer talking directly to the investigators would give.

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/450594/elecktrum Elecktrum's]] Narnia Fics are full of this trope. One fic revolves around it completely, and another has a chapter revolving around the similar phrase "eating crow." Her [=OCs=] and minor characters also get into the act, especially where Edmund is concerned:
** Tumnus unintentionally insults Edmund by implying that Edmund had worked for the white witch in "The Conscience of the King".
** In "Black Dwarfs, Blue River" an overzealous faun angrily tells Edmund regarding the persecution of families of some satyrs who fought on the witch's side that the wives and children (who did not fight for the witch) were "Sons of traitors [who] deserve what what they get." Edmund responds cooly: "so what will you call my sons?" Oops.
** And then there's Ilano's RightInFrontOfMe moment in "They Also Serve"
* In the prequel to ''Fanfic/RespawnOfTheDead'', Heavy accidentally insults Medic a few times. But, to be fair, it's pretty clear that Medic is only insulted by being told he sounds like Greta Garbo because he has no idea he was practically quoting her.
* In the ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'' fanfic ''FanFic/{{Homecoming}}'', George, not knowing about the age gap between Doc and Clara, asks where "Mrs. Brown" is. He's mortified when he finds out that Clara is Doc's wife, not his stepdaughter, and apologizes profusely.
* In ''Fanfic/KiraSweetheart'' Light has one of these moments [[spoiler: when he discovers that [[MoralityPet L]] has been abused in the past.]]
-->'''Light:''' WHO did this? Give me their name!
* The ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfic "[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/71788/the-model-caretaker The Model Caretaker]]" Has Fleur de Lis struggle with this in the first half of the story, especially when Fluttershy is about.
* From another [=MLP=] fanfic, ''FanFic/TheRiseOfDarthVulcan'': Artful Dodger is discussing showering with Eiderdown and starts speaking before thinking.
--> You could literally see the words travelling from his mouth, to his own ears, and from thence to his brain. His eyes went round for a second. "Once. One. At a time, that is. Not that there isn't enough room for two. Heh. I mean--- I'll go first, that way you kin take your time. Afterward. By yourself." He literally shoved his own hoof in his mouth to shut himself up. He bit down on his hoof for a second then spoke around it. "G-g-give you time to, uh, pretty yourself up afterward...."
* The ''New Look Series'' has several examples of this trope.
** [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Young]] [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Link]] gets in trouble with Peach due to him pretending to be her, mockingly.
** [[Manga/RurouniKenshin Kenshin]] also gets in trouble when he tells Kaoru that he can't understand what Kaoru is going through right now because he isn't a woman like her.
* ''FanFic/ThisBites'':
** During the scene in the palace baths, after Cross finishes telling Nami he has too much respect for her to peep on her, she manages to call him up to the wall to talk to him, only to give him an eyeful of ''Vivi'' instead. The first thing Cross comments on is whether she's dedicated with the hair dye. Vivi's stool, meet Cross's cranium.
** When Cross wakes up from Enel's initial attack and sees Conis, he makes a statement about how he wished he could've seen Enel's face when Luffy kicked the crap out of him, thinking that he missed the whole arc... not realizing he was only knocked out for a second and [[RightBehindMe a very unamused Enel is right next to them]].
** Since Usopp never leaves the crew in Water 7, while acting as Sniperking to try to pretend to be someone braver, he essentially states that 'Usopp' deserted from the mission of rescuing Robin without any significant reason. Luffy is not pleased by the implications.
* In the ''FanFic/RivalsSeries'' Viktor can't help but unintentionally offend Yuuri through unwanted advice or very poor wording which doesn't help Viktor's attempts to get Yuuri to at least tolerate him. Then Viktor starts to [[CantSpitItOut develop the opposite problem]] so Yuuri would at least speak to him.
* PlayedForDrama in the ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'' fanfic ''[[https://pastebin.com/5xvRv7Ck A Dark House: Inadequate]]'' when Lori, in a fit of anger over some broken perfume, snaps at Lincoln that sometimes [[IWishedYouWereDead she wishes she didn't have a brother]]. While she quickly realizes what she said and is clearly upset, Lincoln runs off in tears and locks himself in his room, even shouting that no one cares about him when Lori and some of the other girls try to talk to him.
* ''FanFic/MyLesbianLifeWithMonsterGirlsMonsterYurisume'': In chapter 129, Yuisu, overworked and stressed out, chews out Haru for changing her mind about getting printer paper when Yuisu asked and forgetting to tell her, which leads to her declaring that Haru never takes her requests seriously, citing the fact that Haru dyed Hakuto pink after Yuisu literally ''begged'' her to stop the prank war as proof. All Haru can think of to say in response is, "That was different. I mean, I had already ordered the hair dye", which ''really'' sets Yuisu off.
-->'''Yuisu''': Oh, so ''that's'' how it is. My heartfelt plea is worth less than a bottle of hair dye.
* In ''FanFic/ChrysalisVisitsTheHague'', The protagonist Estermann says the following to Lyra, a pony (ItMakesSenseInContext):
--> '''Estermann''': Because as far as Iím concerned, a pony's only good to be ridden and sliced up for sausage. How the hell am I supposed to make myself a picture of one's 'inner workings'?

* In ''Film/ShortCircuit'' Howard theorizes the potential danger of having their laser-armed robot roaming free. The stereotypical Indian guy, Ben, hasn't really grasped the concept of discretion.
--> '''Howard:''' What if it decides to melt down a busload of nuns? How'd you like to write the headline on ''that'' one?
--> '''Ben:''' Nun Soup?
* ''Film/DragonballEvolution'': When Chi Chi reveals that she knows of the existence of ki and states that her name doesn't mean she's an idiot, Goku proceeds to embarrass himself this way.
-->'''Goku''': Right. Right. 'Cause there's a lot stupider names than Chi Chi. I'm not saying that Chi Chi's a stupid name. I'm just saying that it's not normal. Ah. But normal is overrated. I'm not saying that you're stupid or overrated. I'm just- I'm gonna stop now.
* ''Film/PeterRabbit'': When Bea decides to greet her new neighbor who just moved into the [=McGregor=] mansion, she makes insulting comments regarding the late [=McGregor=] without even suspecting that the newcomer became the mansion's new owner by being the late owner's next-of-kin.

[[folder:Light Novel]]
* ''LightNovel/{{Gamers}}'' runs on this trope for romantic comedy hi-jinks. Due to a number of [[NotWhatItLooksLike compromising situations]], BlatantLies, [[ThatCameOutWrong poorly-worded statements]], and plain old [[DidNotThinkThisThrough bad decisions]], a number of misunderstandings results in a LoveDodecahedron where none of the characters actually know what's going on.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
** Spike does this often when he's trying to court Buffy.
** Invoked by Buffy in "Dopplegangland" when she tries to apologize to Willow (not realizing she is talking to Willow's [[EvilTwin alternate universe vampire double]]) for an unfortunate comment earlier in the episode, saying, "You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth."
* Referenced fairly often on ''Series/{{MASH}}''. In one case, BJ claims Charles has "put a whole shoe store" in his mouth." (That example, interestingly, was incorrect, as Charles had fully meant to offend everyone.)
* ''{{Series/Coupling}}'': A form of CannotTalkToWomen, by Jeff: just about every time [[ManChild Jeff]] talks to a woman, he manages to do this. [[http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0023361/quotes For example]], this exchange occurs just when things seem promising:
-->'''Lynda''': I like kissing, don't you?
-->'''Jeff''': Oh, yeah! Especially the tongues part. I love getting all that extra tongue. You know, sometimes I eat really cold ice cream just so that my tongue goes numb and it feels like someone else's... But then we all get lonely sometimes.
* In ''{{Series/Firefly}}'', Simon does it virtually every time he tries to have a conversation with Kaylee.
* ''Series/KamenRiderDragonKnight'': Kit says this trope word to word after unknowingly hurting Chris.
* In ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'', we have Molly.
-->'''Molly''': How's the hip?
-->'''Mrs. Hudson''': Oh, it's atrocious. But thanks for asking.
-->'''Molly''': I've seen much worse. But then I do [[{{Squick}} post-mortems]].
* ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'': During the 3rd season episode, ''Hollow Pursuits'', Capt. Picard accidentally calls Barclay by his unofficial nickname ''Broccoli''. Data tries to put a positive spin on the situation by referencing psychology but really [[DiggingYourselfDeeper only makes the situation worse]].
* In one episode of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls,'' Blanche had an epic one. She meets and asks out a man she met in a bar, not realizing at the time (since he was sitting down) that he was blind. When he comes to pick her up for their date, she enters the room, saying things like, "Aren't I the prettiest thing you've ever seen?" and "What's the matter, ''are you blinded by my beauty''?" She finally takes a good look, sees his cane, and stops in her tracks. [[DeadpanSnarker Sophia]] directly addresses it, saying, "Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?"
* ''Series/{{JAG}}'': Lt. Bud Roberts falls victim to this fairly often, especially in the pilot movie whenever dealing with Lt. Caitlin Pike. His case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease is particularly unfortunate given that his original job is Public Affairs.
* ''Series/{{NCIS}}'': Jimmy Palmer is very prone to this. He does not seem to have heard the old adage that "a closed mouth gathers no feet". His foot tasting episodes routinely escalate to DiggingYourselfDeeper territory.
** [=DiNozzo=] runs afoul of this trope from time to time as well.
* In ''Series/DoctorWho'', the Tenth Doctor has a bad habit of doing this while talking to [[spoiler: Queen Elizabeth I]], repeatedly saying terribly offensive or regrettable things under the assumption she was a Zygon duplicate. It gets them ''[[spoiler: married]]''.
* ''Series/AMoodyChristmas''. In the first episode Dan mistakes Cora for a door-knocking Red Cross volunteer because of her shirt, and donates some money. It turns out she is his cousin's new girlfriend, isn't a volunteer, and designed and hand-made the shirt herself.
* In one episode of ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'', when Uncle Phil makes a remark that offends Vivian, Will quips "I've always known you're [[BigEater a hungry man]], Uncle Phil, but ''both'' feet?".
* On ''Series/{{ER}}'', Carol's new boyfriend Shep makes some insensitive comments about the suicide attempt patient was brought in, suggesting that "she didn't really mean it" because she took pills as opposed to a more lethal method. Carol snaps, "'''''I''''' really meant it", referring to her own suicide attempt a year earlier in which she herself overdosed on pills (and as a nurse, she would certainly have known what would be a fatal amount) and storms off. A flustered Shep asks if she was serious and the mass DeathGlare from everyone else confirms it.

* The cover for Robert Sherman and Al Larsen's album "Smash Flops" (containing such bon mots as ''Columubs, You Big Bag Of Steam'' and ''Watch World War III On Pay TV'') has a Virgil Partch drawing of a conductor directing three male singers, each with their foot in their mouth.

[[folder:Mythology & Religion]]
* Peter from Literature/TheFourGospels does this constantly, saying something that he thinks is smart only for UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} to show him how completely wrong he is. He finally breaks this habit somewhere in the middle of Acts.
* Also from Literature/TheBible: James the Lord's brother spends the middle part of chapter 3 from his own epistle to explain how dangerous the tongue really is.
-->''Even so, the tongue is a little part of the body and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles. The tongue is a fire, a world of evil. The tongue is among the parts of the body, defiling the whole body, and setting the course of nature on fire, and it is set on fire by hell.'' (James 3:5-6)

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* Cartoonist Ron Tandberg often depicted former [[UsefulNotes/AustralianPolitics Victorian Premier]] and [[UsefulNotes/AustralianRulesFootball Hawthorn Football Club]] president Jeff Kennett [[LiteralMetaphor literally doing this]] when he made a gaffe.
* Happens during a story arc in ''ComicStrip/{{Zits}}'', when Jeremy says increasingly thoughtless things to Sara (first "Your freckles help cover your zits" and "What's it like having divorced parents?"), [[PaintingTheMedium the word balloons for which immediately turn black with white letters and linger in the air]].

* ''Webcomic/CodeNameHunter'': Gypsy stuffs [[UptoEleven both feet, up to her knees]] in when [[http://www.codenamehunter.com/archive/comic/2011/05/16 called to the commander's office]] by Queen Moraine. She's not in trouble. ''Yet''. One of the readers [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] this in the ShoutBox.
* ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'':
** Niomi is busy repairing the waste-water recycling plant. [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff600/fv00560.htm The toilets will work and you can get a drink.]]
*** Not the best thing to say to an uplifted dog (well, wolf).
** Sam Starfall tries to convince Florence not to trust Winston too quickly, [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff500/fv00490.htm only to accidentally confess to being everything but trustworthy]]
* ''Webcomic/TheWhiteboard'':
** [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb591.html In this strip]] Pirta and Swampy get into a brief discussion of his nickname. After Swampy asks about her name in an idiot moment for him, he comments that he can skip the appetizer, as he'll just chew on his own foot.
** In In [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1707.html this]] strip, a customer that's been hassling [[OnlySaneWoman Pirta]] for a date is asked if he'd be okay with the situation were their positions reversed, and she were trying to get him to cheat on his girlfriend. He accidentally lets slip that he'd be fine with cheating on his girlfriend Jenny for a date with Pirta. He winds up thrown bodily out of the store after being beat up by Pirta for his troubles.
* In ''Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor'', [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0081/ Quentin tries to compliment Meribeth on something other than her breasts.]]
* ''Webcomic/DanAndMabsFurryAdventures'':
** Aaryanna has the bad habit of invading the dreams of her boyfriend Merlitz, but when she tried to convince Dan to embrace his [[HornyDevils Cubi's cultural heritage]], she commented that's nothing better for a cubi than simply invade other peoples' dreams... and she said that [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_304.php within Merlitz's earshot.]]
** [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_463.php The title says all]]...
** Abel, when he [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Abel_28.php has to explain his Cubi mark on his back]] (neither he or his mother were aware that he was a cubi at the time, but his theory of how it got there doesn't please his mother).
** Dan is a [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_1064.php master of this trope]], and [[LampshadeHanging he is aware of this]].
** Lorenda does this [[UptoEleven epically]] [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_1179.php here]].
* ''Webcomic/TheFoxSister'': Alex has a talent to say just the wrong things to Yun Hee.
* ''Dragon City'':
** Rachel makes a demeaning comment over the Ex-mayor, Donningan, saying that he was arrested for being ugly in the wrong place. [[http://dragoncity.thecomicseries.com/comics/515 Too bad that his grandaughter was within Rachel's earshot]].
** [[http://dragoncity.thecomicseries.com/comics/631 Sam would do the same mistake when he talked an explicit language to Rachel within Jonas' earshot]].
** Beatrix isn't a master in keep [[http://dragoncity.thecomicseries.com/comics/968 compromising secrets]] to herself.
* Done at least twice by Grey O'Shea in ''Webcomic/{{Terra}}'', though the best one is also the first. See [[http://www.terra-comic.com/wordpress/archives/437 page 130]] where he crossed it with RightBehindMe.
--> '''Simmons:''' ''(referring to Grey's rescue of Alex and Rick)'' C'mon, I saw that one of the officers was female, and a cute one at that--I know you, Grey.\\
'''Grey:''' Her?! Please, she's way too uptight. I don't have time for girls like that.\\
'''Simmons:''' What, you think you even stand a chance?\\
'''Grey:''' Give me a break. She may have an attitude, but if I wanted her, I could have her by the end of the night.\\
'''Alex:''' Hm, I'll take that bet.
* A RunningGag in ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' is the multiple creative variations used to call someone (''usually'' Tagon, but he was by no means the only guilty party) out when they said something particularly embarrassing to or about another character while in earshot. It doesn't get mentioned as frequently in more recent strips as it did early on, but still pops up from time to time.
** Special mention should go to the Reverend, for getting [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-05 two situations]] [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-06 in two days]].
** Nick tends to get them [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-04 more than the average]].
* ''Webcomic/ParanormalMysterySquad'': Apparently, Stephanie's been around the block a few times 'cuz she seemed ''[[ShamefulSourceOfKnowledge way too familiar]]'' [[http://www.vampirecheerleaders.net/strips-vc/return_to_inspiration_point with "Inspiration Point".]] She not only failed to cover it up, she wound up confirming it by proudly admitting it [[Series/TheMentalist to Agent Lisbon]]:
-->'''Agent:''' "After all, this ''is'' "Inspiration Point". You know what kids do out here."
-->'''Stephanie: (smiles proudly)''' '''[[http://www.vampirecheerleaders.net/strips-vc/a_snack_once_lost "Don't I EVER."]]'''
-->'''*[[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud realizes she said that out loud]], as J.C. and Charlotte smirk behind her*'''
-->'''Stephanie: ([[OhCrap busted]])''' "Er-- no! I totally don't!"
* ''Webcomic/{{Twokinds}}'': [[NoNameGiven "Red"]] has recently started running afoul of this trope. Winds up running into DiggingYourselfDeeper territory.
* A defining trait of Flux from ''[[{{Webcomic/Morphe}} morphE]]'' to the point that the comic introducing her was even named [[http://morphe.thewebcomic.com/comics/1802258/chapter-2-page-22-open-mouth/ Open Mouth]] to imply this very trope.
* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': One character describes the sound of the [[http://www.sssscomic.com/comic.php?page=180 Danish language]]. With a pair of Danish soldiers [[RightBehindMe right behind him]].
* In ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'', Mort the ghost says Annie is "attractive," then starts backpedaling and trying to explain he didn't mean ''that'' kind of attractive, and concludes by [[http://gunnerkrigg.com/?p=156 turning himself into a gravestone with a "foot -> mouth" pictograph.]]
* ''Webcomic/MenageA3'': Clueless geek Gary is prone to this sort of error. [[http://www.ma3comic.com/strips-ma3/uncomfortable_foot See here for one, lampshaded, example.]]
* ''Webcomic/GrrlPower'' has Sydney do this ''constantly'' when Peggy's [[IgnoreTheDisability artificial limb comes up]]. For bonus points, said missing limb [[http://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/925 is the leg below the knee]], and the page's title is "Open mouth, insert foot to just below the knee."
-->''TheRant'': Sydney, think of things NOT to say, then DON'T say them.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones'': Fred did this on many occasions.
* Happens often in ''WesternAnimation/AladdinTheSeries'' with the title character.
-->'''Iago:''' [[SarcasmMode Would you like some salt]] [[LampshadeHanging with your foot?]]
* Happens to The Hipster in the Creator/TexAvery short "WesternAnimation/SymphonyInSlang" when he's put on trial for skimping out on a restaurant bill, and every time he opens his mouth, he puts his foot in it. Like everything else in the cartoon, [[VisualPun this is illustrated]].
* This happened in ''WesternAnimation/TheLifeAndTimesOfJuniperLee'': The titular character calls her crush a "total babe with the hair and the cute smile" when he's standing [[RightBehindMe Right behind her.]] She quickly realizes this. In fact the full sentence is:
--> "Just because Marcus is a total babe with the hair and the cute smile, [[LampshadeHanging doesn't change the fact that he's standing right behind me does it?"]]
* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'': Pearl is in fine form in the episode ''The Test'', first [[SayingTooMuch accidentally revealing]] [[CallBack that the Sea Spire mission]] [[SecretTestOfCharacter was a test]], then [[DiggingYourselfDeeper digging herself deeper]] when she desperately tries to rectify the situation. Her OhCrap expressions throughout the whole thing are priceless.
* In ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueUnlimited'', Batman and John Stewart are talking about relationships when John idly mentions Bats and Wonder Woman being together. Batman starts explaining that, while he admires her as a friend and a teammate, going any further isn't really in the books before he comes to realize that, oops, she's [[RightBehindMe right behind him]].
* In ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' episode "No Second Prances", after Starlight Glimmer [[WhatTheHellHero calls out]] Twilight Sparkle on her paranoia towards Trixie, Trixie begins to gloat and calls winning over Starlight a victory. This hurts Starlight and she wants an explanation. [[DiggingYourselfDeeper When Trixie tries to explain that she really was her friend and beating Twilight]] [[IronicEcho was just a bonus]], Starlight's so hurt by this, she ends up running off.
* ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'': In "The Stanchurian Candidate", Grunkle Stan insists on speaking his mind rather than use the speech Dipper and Mabel wrote for his mayoral campaign against Li'l Gideon, but he can't even complete a sentence without revealing his amoral nature.
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': In "Road to the North Pole", Brian, while accompanying Stewie at the mall to meet Santa Claus, sees Quagmire with a bald child and assumes that he has a nephew. He learns, to his utter horror, that it's actually his niece, who has cancer and is bald from chemotherapy.
-->'''Brian:''' Oh gosh, I... I didn't know! I'm so... I'm so sorry!
-->'''Quagmire:''' Oh, you're sorry? F-For what? That waiting in line is such a catastrophe, that you'd rather destroy the confidence of a 5-year-old cancer patient?
-->'''Brian:''' Aww, come on. I-I didn't know she was dying.
-->'''Quagmire:''' ''Who said anything about dying?!''