"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.Older adults who are far too eager to be involved in their grown children's lives, give them advice on how they should live, etc. Often they will try to take care of their child's problems for them, especially when it comes to educational opportunities and advancement. In most cases, their efforts may be more detrimental to their child than beneficial in the long run. They view this as "helping" and can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want help, and become offended if their help is rejected. May be especially critical of their son-in-law/daughter-in-law. In real life, parents can act like this as well, making this trope an example of Truth in Television. These parents are called "helicopter parents" due to their tendency to "hover" over their children, and are the bane of every teacher and admissions officer on the planet. A lesser known but equally appropriate term is "curling parents", due to their habit of "sweeping" any obstacles in front of their children. Helicopter parents can effectively be put in these categories: The Agent, aka The JetRanger : Having an Agent helicopter parent is like having Max Clifford working for you round the clock—for free. They operate like a footballer's agent: fixing deals, arranging contracts, smoothing out local difficulties. It's the Agent's job to represent his or her client at events which, for whatever reason, the client feels are simply too tedious to attend. Specializes in nimble, agile bargains and deals. The Banker, aka The Halo: Accessible online, face-to-face or via a personal hotline, the Banker is unique in the world of financial services for charging no APR, asking few if any questions, expecting no collateral, and being psychologically inclined to say "yes" no matter how illogical or poorly articulated the request. The Banker is also resigned to never seeing loans repaid. That's assuming they don't just do the shopping directly, and just show up with the gear. The White Knight, aka The Dolphin: Imbued with an almost semi-mythical status, the White Knight parent appears at little to no notice to resolve awkward situations. Once resolved, the White Knight will fade anonymously into the background. Intervention is accomplished silently and with minimum fuss. The Bodyguard, aka The Hind: The primary function of the Bodyguard is to protect the client from a range of embarrassing social situations - such as cancelling appointments and soaking up complaints on behalf of their client. Particularly skilled in constructing elaborate excuses. When not protecting life, limb and reputation, doubles up as a chauffeur and personal assistant. The Black Hawk: Named after the military helicopter that specializes in clearing the way for delivering elite troops. Dreaded by teachers and educational administrators (Especially the sadistic ones), the Black Hawk is unique among helicopter parents due to their willingness to go to any lengths - legal or illegal - to give their offspring a positional advantage over any competition. Particularly lethal when elected to parent-teacher associations. Lack of a civilian name emphasizes their warlike nature: always on the attack. See also Evil Matriarch, My Beloved Smother, Overprotective Dad and Fantasy-Forbidding Father. I Want Grandkids is usually a subtrope. Compare with Anti Climactic Parent, or Knight Templar Parent for still-actually-kids kids. Basically the family version of Executive Meddling. And no, this is not where meddling kids come from (at least, not always). Sometimes a biological parent will abandon their kid (see Parental Abandonment) only to try to intrude into the kid's life years later (without intention or ability of actually taking good care of the kid) after a conscientious and loving parental substitute has already formed a bond with the kid. Examples: Look Who's Talking and A Place For Annie. In film, the bad biological parent is often readily identifiable either by (1) stubborn insistence on chain smoking cigarettes around her toddler-aged child, (2) responding to any advice or concerns about parenting techniques with "it's my kid; don't tell me what to do!" and/or (3) total indifference toward spending any considerable amount of time actually interacting with the kid, much less taking on the "less fun" responsibilities of child care (changing diapers, etc.). It is then the parental substitute's job to angrily school him on how what he's doing is only going to hurt the child.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."
— Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse"
open/close all folders
- Every mother depicted in Stick It was The Agent variation of helicopter parent; and some were a particularly abusive twist on that — more focused on their daughter's gymnastic success than in their happiness or mental well-being.
- In August Rush Lyla's father is so obsessed with making sure she is a successful violinist that he intentionally separated her from her son by forging her name on the adoption certificate and told her that the baby died. He does redeem himself by telling her eventually what he had done although he kept the secret for 11 years, making him a classic "Black Hawk" parent.
- Sheelah Sugrue in Darby O'Gill and the Little People.
- The Hunger Games: Cashmere's actor, Stephanie Schlund, states that the parents of Cashmere and her older brother, Gloss, were extremely hard on them.
- Moomin mama and Moomin Papa in The Moomins are an inversion of this. They let their son go comet hunting with only a flask of raspberry juice and a money grabbing, over-egoed mouse kangaroo for company.
- In the Dubliners short story "A Mother", the eponymous character behaves more like her daughter's agent than a parent.
- In Last Sacrifice, Daniella Ivashkov tries to meddle in her son's Adrian life to resolve one potential problem. When Queen Tatiana Ivashkov, her aunt-by-marriage, is killed at night, Rose Hathaway stands as the most likely suspect. But Rose spend that night with her boyfriend Adrian, providing her with an alibi. Daniella decides that the alibi is not solid enough and Adrian could be accused as an accomplice to murder. So she bribes a janitor to testify that Adrian arrived in Rose's apartment later than he actually did. Providing him with an alibi and incriminating Rose. Daniella does not care that Rose could end up executed for regicide. Her help is not appreciated by her son. Her plan eventually backfires as she is imprisoned for interfering with a murder investigation.
- Played for Laughs in The May Donut Knows, the third Spinoff novel from the Tantei Team KZ Jiken Note series, which is set three years after the original series. Aya complained to her sister Nako that their mom wants the former to marry one of the KZ's boys (she's still with them, the viewer considers it Reverse Harem while Nako sees them as her sister's boyfriends, but Aya still thinks they're Just Friends). Mom goes on discussing some of the boys in a completely utilitarian way, stating, for example, Uesuki's genes is worth inheriting, or Kozuka is Nice and is unlikely to cheat. Later that novel mom also wants Nako—11 at the time—to consider dating from her circle of boys, but made it clear she won't like Mei.
- Agnes' parents from Run are of the hovering variety, always interfering with Agnes' life out of fear that she'll get hurt, and eventually admitting that deep down they don't think she'd ever be able to leave Mursey after high school. Fortunately they get better.
Live Action TV
- Richard and Emily Gilmore in Gilmore Girls are constantly trying to "help" their daughter and granddaughter — or, if you prefer Lorelei's interpretation, control their lives and suppress their free will. They are, in fact, so manipulative that it is often bordering on impossible to believe that they legitimately care at all, and aren't just trying to ensure the outcome that will bring the least disrepute to the family name.
- Marie Barone, Raymond's mother on Everybody Loves Raymond. Frank, his dad, not so much.
- Jerry's parents on Seinfeld.
I'm used to a 1200 mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus I got the dinners, I got the pop ins. They pop in! It's brutal!
- Bert and Sylvia Buchman on Mad About You.
- Grandma Ida on Malcolm in the Middle.
- In the later seasons, Lois begins treating Malcolm this way.
- Caleb in The O.C..
- Mother Jefferson in The Jeffersons.
- Endora [and the rest of Samantha's family, really] in Bewitched.
- Rita's mother on Dexter
- Sarah Connor of the Terminator franchise, most notably the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is definite Black Hawk. It's justified in that her son grows up to save all of humanity.
- Parental Control was an MTV pseudo-reality show in which parents hated their child's current significant other, and each would each pick out a new date for them to go on in hopes of breaking them up with their current boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Angela Petrelli of Heroes. Willing to let one son blow up New York so her other son could become President one day. And that's just Season One.
- John and Elly Patterson of For Better or for Worse exhibited these tendencies, big-time, as the strip progressed.
- Logainne's fathers in The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee are obsessed with forcing her success in both the bee and life in general. One goes as far as to sabotage another contestant.
- Morgan Fey of Ace Attorney really, really wants her daughter Pearl to be the next Kurain Master. To the point of tricking Pearl into nearly murdering the contender to the position by asking her to channel the vengeful spirit of Morgan's other daughter Dahlia, who would then kill Maya using Pearl's body. It's unclear if Pearl ever really understands what's going on, and given her young age it's probably better if she doesn't.
- In Daria, Helen Morgendorffer constantly tries to feel she is meaningfully engaged with her children when not at work, regardless of whether her daughters want it or not. However, the trope occasionally subverted, with her help being appreciated, whether it is helping Daria with a story project or defending her in a legal matter.
- In Sofia the First, royal sorcerer Cedric's parents (also sorcerers) keep an eye on him via a magic portrait of themselves, and occasionally teleport to his workshop to give him advice.
- This is part of the stereotype of the Jewish mother-in-law, who usually dotes on her son but constantly criticizes him and outright loathes her daughter-in-law. God help you if the boy married a gentile.
- Of course, the stereotype has spread to Italian mothers (or at least Italian-American) and Greek mothers and mothers in the Deep South... let's just say that the stereotype is universal (whether or not it's Truth in Television depends.)
- Stephenie Meyer, Author of Twilight has a meddling brother. Dear Seth Morgan controls which e-mails Stephenie sees and he won't let his dear sister read petitions from her fans and urging her to continue writing despite the leaking of "Midnight Sun" He's pretty much regarded as an asshole by both rabid fans AND antis.
- Aubrey Ireland, an Ohio college student who won a restraining order against her parents. They would randomly drive from Kansas to Ohio to check on her and follow her around, keylogged her computer, and forcing her to turn on Skype so they could watch her sleep via webcam.
- There are cases of parents who are so involved with their children's lives that they even personally attend their own children's job interviews and try to persuade the interviewer on why their child should get the job. This usually results in the young adult to be rejected from the job for not being able to be independent from their parents.
- Stage parents are usually this, getting far more involved in their children's entertainment careers than they are reasonably expected to. Like the job interview example above, there have been child actors who can't get parts solely because writers/directors/casting agents/producers simply don't want to deal with the kid's parents.note