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->''"I'm so straight that when I bought my house, the first thing I did was brick up the back door! You know why? Because ''MY'' asshole's ''JUST'' for shitting!"''
-->-- '''Straight Dave, aka Bruno''', ''Film/{{Bruno}}''

The opposite of EveryoneIsGay, Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today is a trope that takes place in a genre filled to the brim with HoYay. So, to compensate for this, every other line of dialogue comments on how some character is straight and their relationship with someone else is platonic. Every other cast member ''also'' comments on how this person is in fact in a totally normal-type relationship. NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat, but they aren't.

This isn't just a story that [[SuddenlySexuality turns someone straight]] or just takes a hardline on ShipTease...this is a story where nobody will shut up about it, ever. Naturally, because of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial, many people will interpret this as a case of TransparentCloset whether the character is gay or not. As with similar tropes, like MostDefinitelyNotAVillain and HughMann, many writers play this trope straight on purpose. Sometimes this Trope is connected with IfItsYouItsOkay.

If they're not just trying to convince people which way they swing but that they swing ''at all'', it's HaveIMentionedIAmSexuallyActiveToday.

This trope sometimes accompanies various GenderBlendingTropes (e.g., WholesomeCrossdresser) as a way of lampshading that the character does ''not'' conform to stereotypes like TransEqualsGay, is ''not'' a DragQueen, etc.

If a character achieves this through acting gay, that is GayBravado. Contrast ArmouredClosetGay when the person is both gay and homophobic.



[[folder: Anime and Manga ]]
* Gojyo from ''[[Manga/{{Saiyuki}} Gensoumaden Saiyuki]]'' lives to constantly remind everyone in the Sanzo Party that he loves the ladies, yet outside of one episode not canon to the comics, Gojyo has never been with a woman despite his good looks. He has the strongest gay vibes of anyone in the group, picking to particular person to shovel that on to. It doesn't help that the mangaka has a history in BL mangas.
* The ''Manga/SailorMoon'' season 3 Cloverway dub had everyone, even random [[MonsterOfTheWeek monsters of the week]], blessed with the knowledge and the compulsion to comment on how not only is "Amara" the cousin of "Michelle", but so were Sailors Uranus and Neptune cousins. The fact that the dubbers were ''lazy'' and forgot ([[GettingCrapPastTheRadar or did they?]]) to remove many LesYay scenes made it even more of a farce.
* In ''[[LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya]]'' sexually-insecure teenage {{narrator}} Kyon is very careful to remind the reader of his heterosexuality in this story where men seem to be constantly be implying attraction to him, either through OutOfContextEavesdropping or just being [[AmbiguouslyGay Itsuki Koizumi]].
-->''Now let me set the record straight, I am an absolutely normal heterosexual male. My preference for "the same team" weighs less than that of a humming bird, in other words, it's non-existent. Whether subconsciously or unconsciously, my preference has been "straight". See? Aren't I right? My body would go hot just thinking about [[{{Moe}} Asahina-san.]] If [[AmbiguouslyGay Koizumi]] had called me saying such stuff, I would've hung up already. By the way, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I'm not bisexual either.]] Do I make myself clear?''
* Yuki of ''Manga/{{Gravitation}}'' spends the first couple of books reminding Shuichi about how straight he is. Less ironically, Hiro is also very conscious about his status as the token heterosexual around.
* A slight variation: In the hentai anime ''Frantic, Frustrated, Female'' and its sequels, the main character regularly refer to her friend as "onee-chan" (sister) and her landlady as "okaa-san" (mother), which is the emotional relationship she has with them. Every time she uses these words, the subtitling is quick to point out that ''they're not related'', and thus the lesbian sex scenes do not imply incest. M'kay?
* Arashi from ''Manga/ParadiseKiss'' has to remind both the readers and George that ''he is heterosexual, thank you'', about as often as the latter brings up the subject that he [[BiTheWay plays for both teams]] -i.e., fairly often.
* Kaorin from ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'' says she's straight, though it's quite obviously a coverup.
* In ''Manga/LuckyStar'' Konata once stated while she is a {{yuri fan}}girl, she is not a lesbian. Her various interactions with [[{{Tsundere}} Kagami]] really suggest otherwise.
* While not actually ''said'', ''Manga/ShugoChara'' made it clear that Nagihiko is straight in episode 56 when he's assigned as the newest Jack's Chair . He refuses, and Tadase, as an attempt to change his mind, shows off his BishieSparkle. However, Nagihiko isn't at all amused by this. Later, when Tadase and Kukai tell Amu, a girl, about Nagihiko being the new Jack, Amu lets out her own BishieSparkle, to which Nagihiko cannot resist. This alone counts as enough evidence that, yes, he likes girls.
* ''Anime/RevolutionaryGirlUtena'':
** Utena makes sure to tell Anthy that she, despite all appearances, is just into normal boys. PlayedForDrama: Utena is only 14 and simply doesn't know what love is yet, and her desire to be straight leaves her wide open to the destructive sexual manipulation done by Anthy's brother Akio.
** PlayedForLaughs when Touga claims to be straight. Even though his HoYay with Akio is ''through the roof'', and the two are actually seen rolling around on a bed together with their pants undone. This gets worse in the second light novel, where Touga asks Saionji out on a double date then denies swinging that way, [[spoiler: despite the fact that he's nailing Miki]].
* In ''Manga/TheTyrantFallsInLove'', the main character Tatsumi, even after he has consensual sex with Morinaga, insists that he "is not a damned homo!".
* Yuuri, the main character of ''LightNovel/KyoKaraMaoh'', finds his cries largely ignored in a world where, apparently, EveryoneIsBi. It doesn't help that he's got an [[UnwantedHarem all-male harem]]. Or a male [[AccidentalMarriage fiancee]]. Who he [[HasTwoMommies adopted a child with]].
* In ''LightNovel/TheFamiliarOfZero'' has the flamboyantly CampGay stereotype bar owner Scarron, such as wearing dresses and having his all female staff refer to him as madamoiselle. Come to the surprise to both the viewers and the cast that Jessica is his daughter.
* In ''Anime/AngelBeats'', Hinata has to continually reinforce to Otanashi that he isn't like that, subverted later in the series.
* PlayedForLaughs in ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}'' with Christopher Shouldered. Being under the impression that his {{Vitriolic Best Bud|s}} Chi might have a crush on him, Christopher tends to punctuate any sort of statement of affection with the fact that he's not into men, lest Chi get his hopes up. Chi just begrudgingly puts up with it like the rest of Christopher's [[CloudCuckoolander eccentric behavior.]]
* Ryo from ''{{Manga/FAKE}}'' claims to be straight whenever Dee comes onto him. He's not very convincing seeing how he always let's Dee kiss him and voluntarily kisses Dee at times too. [[spoiler: He eventually gives in to Dee and considers himself a gay man despite having past hetero relationships.]]
%%* An absolutely hilarious instance crops up in ''Manga/ACertainScientificRailgun'' from ''[[PsychoLesbian Kuroko]]'' of all people.

* One issue of ''ComicBook/BirdsOfPrey'' has Comicbook/BlackCanary going up against Talia, daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Talia's main power appears to be wearing {{stripperiffic}} outfits and dominating people with her vampy dialog. But Canary isn't the least impressed with her because 'I'm heterosexual to the bone!'. [[WordOfGod Gail Simone]] stated that the original line was [[BiTheWay "seventy-five percent heterosexual"]], but a mix up with the placeholder dialog replaced it.
* Used repeatedly in several [[http://www.captainexcelsior.com/?id=1 CAPTAIN EXCELSIOR]] strips after Ward [[spoiler:sleeps with the owner of the Homosexual Intercourse]]. [[http://www.captainexcelsior.com/?id=50 #47]] [[http://www.captainexcelsior.com/?id=51 #48]] [[http://www.captainexcelsior.com/?id=54 #51]] [[http://www.captainexcelsior.com/?id=55 #52]]
* Seems to strike ''ComicBook/GothamCitySirens''; when Creator/PaulDini isn't writing, ComicBook/PoisonIvy must mention how she likes guys or fall for a male plant alien or yell about how she's forever alone. Some people really can't handle the Ivy/Harley relationship.
* SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadpool}} cracks jokes about his HoYay with people half the time, and spends the other half saying homoerotic stuff about Cable[=/=]Weasel[=/=]Spider-Man[=/=]Thor, only to immediately insist that he's straight. If this sounds contradictory, remember that this is [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Deadpool.]] Possibly the best example came when the Black Mamba's powers made him picture his greatest fantasy -- rubbing suntan lotion on Cable's back at the beach. "That was ''not'' my fantasy! It was you -- that Darkforce stuff planted that image in my head!"
* In ''ComicBook/JusticeLeagueElite'', Menagerie insists that she's not into girls... after cuddling with Vera-Lynn Black, albeit while the latter was disguised as Deathstroke. This might be explained by the fact that she has a SplitPersonality.
* ComicBook/KateBishop has a moment of this at the end of Volume 2 of ''ComicBook/YoungAvengers'', where she wonders out loud if she's the token straight of the CastFullOfGay. America's response?
-->'''ComicBook/AmericaChavez''': Princess. I've seen the way you look at me. [[AmbiguouslyBi You're not that straight]].

[[folder: Fan Works]]
* ''The Girl Who Lived'': Rose Potter, who despite ogling naked girls and going to sleep with Ginny and waking up in a spooning position, is not a lesbian.
* In ''Fanfic/HowHogwartsBecameANudistColony'', Draco insists that he is "quite straight now." The RunningGag is that he actually has considerable HoYay with Ron.
* ''Fanfic/LightAndDarkTheAdventuresOfDarkYagami'': [[MartyStu Dark Yagami]] could have this trope renamed in his dubious honor:
-->''Light’s parents had made light’s bed into a double bed (I know what your thinking sickos no theres no {{slash}}!)''
-->''Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything!''
-->''he loved Dark which maybe he did a little but not really cos Darks not gay!!!! SERIOUSLY''
-->''"I am not gay" Darksaid because the readers at home might think so other ways.''
-->''"Where did you get him he is very hansom!" dark said but only because he was a clone of him HES NOT GAY."''
* ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'':
** Marik constantly denies that he's gay, despite a penchant for ''Disney/TheLittleMermaid'', tight clothes, and his evil BFF Bakura, as well as a fondness for reading {{yaoi}}.
--->'''Marik:''' Wait a second, are you coming onto me? I already ''told'' you, Bakura, I'm not gay!
--->'''Bakura:''' Could've fooled me.
--->'''Melvin:''' ''And'' me!
--->'''Marik:''' Hey, shut up, you don't know anything about me!
--->'''Bakura:''' Marik, he ''is'' you! He knows everything about you.
--->'''Marik:''' ''He'' is the gay one!
** Yuusei and Jack from ''Bonds Before Time Abridged''. Yuusei starts the movie by assuring Jack that liking ''Film/TopGun'' isn't gay, as how could a movie about men calling each other cute nicknames, playing half-naked volleyball and riding phallic vehicles at high speed be anything but straight? He spends the final duel engaging in a ''lot'' of HoYay with Yami, before repeatedly waving it away with a 'no homo'. Yami is... [[DepravedBisexual much less insecure.]]
--->'''Yami:''' You know, you always were my favorite protagonist.
--->'''Yuusei:''' Right back at you, Yugi. It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me. ''([[{{Sexophone}} sexy music,]] intense eye contact)'' No homo!
--->'''Yami:''' Ah, yes...no homo...indeed.
--->''[[RunningGag (later)]]''
--->'''Yuusei:''' You can ride with me anytime, Yugi. ''(sexy music, intense eye contact)''...no homo.
--->'''Yami:''' Ah yes, I was just about to say, uh, no homo.
--->''[[RuleOfThree (later)]]''
--->'''Yuusei:''' [[Film/TopGun You can be my wingman anytime]], Yugi.
--->'''Yami:''' No, Yusei. You can be mine. ''(sexy music, intense eye contact)''
--->'''Yuusei:''' No homo, right?
--->'''Yami:''' '''[[SubvertedTrope All of the homo!]]'''
** In the possibly-canon ''Bakura and Marik go to Censored Town'', Bakura claims that he's [[IfItsYouItsOkay only interested in]] [[TransparentCloset Marik]].
** Pegasus actually ''inverts'' this trope. While screaming at the top of his lungs "HaveIMentionedIAmGay" in every single episode, [[CampStraight he's as straight as they get.]] This prompts him into nearly killing some characters for discovering his true sexuality.
--> '''Bakura:''' Otherwise, totally hetero.
* In ''FanFic/ThoseLackingSpines'', Riku of [[HighSchoolAU Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School]] always tries to convince others he is straight, even though he obviously isn't.
-->'''Sora:''' Right—and what are we betting?
-->'''Riku:''' A kiss.
-->'''Sora:''' What?
-->'''Riku:''' I mean… a kick. In the ass. I'll kick your ass if you don't. Because I'm not gay or anything.
-->'''Sora:''' Who said you were?
-->'''Riku:''' Nobody. Because I'm not. Yeah. Totally straight. I love chicks. Yay boobs.
* An ImagineSpot in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfic ''Fanfic/{{Progress}}'' has [[{{Tomboy}} Rainbow Dash]] loudly proclaim that she's not gay and that she'll "do every colt in Equestria to prove it".
** Fancomic ''In Uneighson'' has [[http://hewhoerasesmost.deviantart.com/art/In-Uneighson-Page-22-299037755 Lyra]] [[http://hewhoerasesmost.deviantart.com/art/In-Uneighson-Page-25-301187694 doing]] [[http://hewhoerasesmost.deviantart.com/art/In-Uneighson-Page-27-303659735 this]], to the [[http://hewhoerasesmost.deviantart.com/art/In-Uneighson-Page-28-304430228 obvious conclusion.]]
* ''Fanfic/BecomingFemale'': "[[Literature/HarryPotter Draco Malfoy]] smirked at me. He was the hottest guy in school and all the girls wanted him, but I was a boy and not gay so we couldn't be together." [[JumpingTheGenderBarrier Guess what happens later.]]
* [[Manga/DeathNote Light]] in ''Fanfic/AllYouNeedIsLove'':
-->'''Light:''' [[FreudianSlipperySlope I am not blatantly homosexual! I just wear nice clothing!]]
* Occurs at least once per chapter in the infamous ''Fanfic/SupperSmashBrosMishonhFromGod''. As the narrator is a blatant AuthorAvatar, we can infer that the same goes for the author -- though you should be able to figure that out anyway from the homophobic content.
* In ''Fanfic/UzumakiHarry'' Harry feels the need to remind everyone that he is "not gay" every other chapter.
* In ''FanFic/TheJadedEyesSeries'' Sirius is totally straight! [[CasanovaWannabe All the ladies love him, totally!]] That stuff about [[HoYay him and Remus]] is an unfounded rumor probably started by Snivellus!
* Voldemort in ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2580020/1/The-Horrible-Interpretation-of-the-Prophecy The Horrible Interpretation Of The Prophecy]]'':
-->'''Voldemort's letter:''' ''Dear Sworn Enemy,''
-->''It has recently come to my attention that you are gay.''
-->''This is of great concern to me. I know you have repeatedly said you will not join me, but I am still worried. I know I am dead sexy-but I feel obliged to tell you that I am straight.''
-->''Now, I am unsure of how much Dumbledore has told you, but I have another reason for concern. A prophecy exists involving us.''
-->''I know what the first half says. To summarize, someone has the power to vanquish me.''
-->''Now, my reason for concern is that I fear you are the one who is suppose to vanquish me. I fear you are going to try and do this through sex. That is the reason for this letter.''
-->''I also would like to tell you that I have several followers who are, um, indecisive in regards to their preferred gender. While it is good that you have picked one, I must say I believe you made the wrong decision. Women are great. Just the other day, I was remembering my later years at Hogwarts. There is a broom cupboard that is perfect for--''
-->'''Harry:''' NO. I'm not reading the rest of it. There are two pages that go into great detail regarding why I shouldn't be gay.
-->'''Hermione:''' Skip ahead.
-->'''Voldemort's letter:''' ''In conclusion, do not be gay. If you neglect this piece of advice, take another. Do not be gay with me. It will anger me, but it will not vanquish me. Now I turn the rest of the parchment over to Wormtail, who so generously wrote this for me, as I still lack a body. That does not make me any less sexy, though.''
* ''FanFic/FeverDreams'' has [[IntoxicationEnsues poor drunk]] Matsuda:
-->'''Matsuda''': It was so horrible. I- I feel like I've violated Misa-Misa just by listening to those lies being told to her... I don't want to have sex with two men and Misa-Misa at the same time... (*everyone stares*) No, no, I'm not with this guy, he's just my friend who has sex with my other male friend. I really like women a lot [[ThatCameOutWrong and any women who want to be with me, I'll respect them incredibly hard and skillfully with all the right respectful lines that I'm going to learn.]]
-->'''Light''': I don't think you should return to this bar anytime soon.
* The ''Comicbook/CaptainCarrotAndHisAmazingZooCrew'' fanfic ''The Harmony Trap'' features a male bank teller looking at the bank's security guards and telling himself that he's not gay, he just likes uniforms...
* Fanfic in general has a trend like this where fics, usually those focusing on friendship between characters who usually ''are'' paired romantically, make a big deal out of telling you the story is Not Slash, despite the fact that an actual decent summary would fix that. Then there's just oddball summaries like "[[Literature/HarryPotter A Death Eaters' meeting]]. No slash." Why would you even assume there ''would'' be? Admittedly there are some popular pairings involving two people who are both Death Eaters, but why would they be [[MakingLoveInAllTheWrongPlaces doing that at the meeting?]]
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8038419/5/The-Journey-Begins The Journey Begins]]'' Cormac [=McLaggen=] makes frequent remarks about his not being gay, due to his mother's firm belief that he ''is'' and the resultant teasing by actually-gay friends.
* In Fanfic/CodeGeassThePreparedRebellion, Kallen is adamant she is not bi-curious,; C.C. calls her out by saying Kallen liked the attention, and didn't throw C.C. off despite having the strength to do so. Kallen still says she isn't despite having a hard time keeping her eyes away from C.C.'s SexyWalk.
* In ''FanFic/TheRWBYLoops'' there is a brief instance of this when Weiss and Ruby reassure each other they are not romantically attracted to each other. To be fair, every other partner pair they knew in that loop had started dating, so they felt a need to establish it pretty quickly; later loops have them express [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend amused exasperation]] when anyone else ships them together, despite Ruby's insistence on celibacy and Weiss's repeated one loop stands.

* Jay of Film/TheViewAskewniverse. In ''Film/{{Clerks}}'' he rambles about performing oral sex on Silent Bob (who remains completely deadpan throughout, suggesting he does this a lot), then leaps away, flexes menacingly and shouts, "I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN!" In ''Film/{{Dogma}}'' his response to being accused of fantasizing about men is "not all the time," which is as good as an admission that he does ''some'' of the time. Then there's his habit of referring to Silent Bob as his "[[HeterosexualLifePartners Hetero life-mate]]."
* Halfway through the "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNc7EPGpaRQ I Like Boys]]" number in ''Film/TeenWitch'', you'll be thinking those girls are obviously in serious denial.
--> '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick:''' Movie, stop! You're trying way too hard!
** From the comments section... "Having never seen the movie this is from I can only assume that this musical follows the story of a lonely lesbian girl who must deny her true passions while watching girls in leotards dance around the women's locker room singing about their heterosexuality."
* Rapper Alpa Chino in ''Film/TropicThunder'' has built his career around this trope. [[spoiler:He's gay.]]
-->''I love the puss (hell yeah)/I love the pussy (hell yeah)/I love the pussy rollin' down to the floor''
* ''[[Literature/{{Gor}} Outlaw of Gor]]''. Watney Smith is trying a little too hard to declare how turned on he is by girls, despite being the [[UnwantedAssistance annoying sidekick]] of muscular blond hunk Cabot ("[[{{Earworm}} CABOT!]]")
-->'''Watney:''' ''(looking at a blond girl)'' Oooh, yeah, I love 'em!
-->'''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Tom Servo]]:''' I am ''so'' heterosexual!
* ''Film/{{Troy}}'' has Achilles bedding numerous ladies and treating his cousin Patroclus like a kid brother to avoid the traditionally inferred homosexual relationship between them.
* The last line of one of the endings in ''Film/{{Clue}}'' has the supposedly gay Mr. Green declare, "I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife," revealing that his whole identity was a cover. Maybe.
* Seth in ''Film/{{Superbad}}'': 90% of his dialogue is about how much he wants to have sex with girls who are far more attractive than a guy like him deserves, with the remaining 10% being devoted to his ''obsession'' with his "best friend" Evan.
* Near the end of ''Film/{{Bruno}}'', the main character claims to have achieved his goal of [[spoiler:becoming heterosexual. In fact, he proves it by hosting a cage-fighting show called [[TestosteronePoisoning Straight Dave's Man Slammin' Maxout]], and giving the audience a speech about how hetero he is. [[PoesLaw The audience loves him at first]], but become [[HateDumb enraged]] when he [[FanDisservice passionately makes out with another man]] in the cage]].
* Nearly all male characters in the 2009 ''Film/StarTrek'' film find some way to imply their heterosexuality, as noted by WebVideo/RedLetterMedia's review of the film, where it's dubbed the "Not-Gays".
* In ''Film/ClassAct'', hip-hop culture is ''so'' foreign to Duncan's father that when Duncan begins associating with Blade, his father thinks Duncan might be ''gay!'' He finds out the hard way at the end when he catches Duncan having sex with ''his girlfriend Damita''.
* In ''Film/{{Orgazmo}}'', Dave the Lighting Guy has a habit of prefacing everything he's about to say with "I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin'..." with [[RunningGag everything he says following this statement becoming increasingly homoerotic as the movie progresses.]]
* Obviously actual sex isn't an issue because the characters are toys, but in ''WesternAnimation/RaggedyAnnAndAndyAMusicalAdventure'', Andy feels the need to insist that, even though he's a soft, cuddly ragdoll owned by a girl who's into dresses and tea parties and all the finest in stereotyped little girl interests, he's a super-macho manly-man action type guy and he'll fight anyone who even ''thinks'' the word "makeup".
* Played for drama in ''Film/EasternPromises'' wherein Kirill, the closeted son of TheDon, desperately tries to cultivate a reputation as a libertine due to the violently homophobic Russian gangster culture.
* In ''Film/PlanB'', Bruno repeatedly hits on Pablo, kisses him, and proclaims his love for him. But he's not gay. Really, he's not. He's just doing all this to drive Pablo away from Laura so that he can get back together with her. The mere notion that he could like Pablo in ''that'' way for real is enough to send him running for the toilet! Likewise, Pablo isn't gay either and makes sure to tell Bruno that when Bruno tries to get them to kiss for "practice" for some commercial. Over and over again. [[spoiler:They do eventually accept that they're gay for each other, at the very least.]]
* Done horribly (as with everything else) in the cheesy sci-fi movie ''Film/{{ROTOR}}''
-->'''Shoeboogie:''' Either I'm an Indian or I'm a sissy!
* Hilariously skewered in ''Film/PopstarNeverStopNeverStopping'', where rapper [[Music/TheLonelyIsland Conner4Real]] has a music video, "Equal Rights" ([[TheCameo Featuring a cameo from Pink!]]) which tries to promote a GayAesop. However, the message becomes undermined with Conner repeatedly assuring his own heterosexuality throughout the song.
--> "I'm not gay!"
* The supernatural thriller ''Film/{{Stigmata}}'' is about a young woman called Frankie, whose boyfriend Stephen mainly exists to mention that she is heterosexual. Frankie and Stephen have a sex scene early in the film, and after that he is barely mentioned. Frankie's best friend Donna, meanwhile, has a lot more scenes with Frankie, is shown to care about her well-being, and even shares Frankie's bed after bringing her back from the hospital. But Frankie has a boyfriend, SO THEY'RE NOT LESBIANS, RIGHT?

* In ''Literature/TheHollows'' series, Rachel repeatedly mentions not being 'wired that way' regarding Ivy (especially after she invites the vampiric Ivy to bite her in ''A Fistful of Charms'').
* Despite being surrounded by [[EveryoneIsBi hawt bisexual men]], Literature/AnitaBlake goes out of her way to mention that by the way, she doesn't like girls at ''all'' and she isn't bisexual and so on and so forth. This doesn't stop her from snogging a gorgeous siren, or "holding fingertips" and gazing into the eyes of a stripper who's offering her a free lap dance, but... she's really straight, dammit!
** Bella Morte, fountain of blood for a line of vampires with sexually-based powers, gave her mind-boggling oral sex in a magical dream.
* In ''Literature/LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff'', John, after being in an awkward gay moment, says things like, "Well, she looks like a nubile wench!" while pointing at an adulteress. (She ''was'' nubile, so points to John for working outside of his element.)
* In one of the original ''Greyhawk'' novels, the protagonist begins acting as stereotypically masculine as he possibly can -- openly leering at women, deliberately wearing worn out or dirty clothing, etc.--because he's worried that a [[MacGuffin gem he's been using to increase his magic]] is turning him into a woman. [[spoiler:It isn't.]]
* In ''[[Recap/DoctorWhoNewAdventuresHumanNature Human Nature]]'', Alexander has a reputation as a ladies' man who values free love. Since it's 1913, this makes him a bit of a social outcast, but he doesn't seem to care. Main character Franchise/BerniceSummerfield eventually realizes that Alexander is just gay and overcompensating with his denial, and Alexander's boyfriend is very confused as to why everyone thinks that Alex is some kind of womanizing libertine.
* ''Literatue/IClaudius'' has a passage where the title character expresses distaste for the noble men who take young men as lovers, describing the latter as being blatant {{Gold Digger}}s and stating he has never seen the appeal of such an arrangement. While this might come off as an WriterOnBoard by Robert Graves Claudius is one of the few Roman Emperors who was never known to have had any male lovers, which was remarked upon by contemporaries as odd.

[[folder:Live-Action TV ]]
* On ''Series/TheColbertReport'', Stephen Colbert isn't gay, but he does claim that "Men know what men like". He also claims that the "Gay Agenda" (e.g. baby carrots) is to turn him, specifically, gay.
** In the Christmas special, he repeatedly gets caught under mistletoe with his special guests. Eventually, he makes out with [[spoiler:[[BearsAreBadNews a grizzly bear]]]]. The end credits make a point of noting that [[spoiler:'Female Bear' was played by Matt Brady]].
** Then there's the rainbow-themed closet parties he threw in college. Or the spectacular line "refuting" the gay-rights argument that nobody accuses straight people of ''choosing'' to be straight -- it went something like, "Damn right I chose to be straight! I wake up ''every morning'' and fight those urges!" Or [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-11-2001/fruit-juice this]] ''Daily Show'' piece which contains the classic line, "We don't ''hate'' gay people." [[StupidSexyFlanders "We're just angry at the ones who turn us on."]]
** Played with on [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/268494/march-30-2010/ricky-martin-is-gay this segment]][[note]] March 30, 2010[[/note]] when Music/RickyMartin came out of the closet. (Skip to 01:50)
--->"Just look at him on the cover of ''Rolling Stone''! Surrounded by naked women...who I'm sure he is just seconds away from noticing! Right now, he's too busy staring straight into the viewers' eyes as if to say, "You and me man, both totally straight! Ha-cha!"
** Or his verse at the 2011 Tony Awards production number, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6S5caRGpK4 "Not just for gays anymore"]]:
--->"I enjoy the theater, I've enjoyed it all my life,\\
I enjoy it with my female woman wife!"
** And while we're on the subject, [[AuthorAvatar Tek]] [[MartyStu Jansen]] has obviously had hundreds of girlfriends.
* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': Joffrey is a rather strange example of this. Despite his overall misogyny and lack of interest in romance, he frequently makes vocal displays of how he plans to consummate his marriage with Sansa.
* In most of his appearances on ''Series/{{SCTV}}'', Johnny [=LaRue=] (Creator/JohnCandy) makes it a point to emphatically deny rumors that he is gay.
* It was rumored that ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'' was going to have the franchise's first openly gay main character, and that this character was Malcolm. In fact, it transpired the possibility had been discussed with the actor but was eventually rejected. In what may or may not have been a response to this, the writers started to show him talking about women or flirting with women pretty often. His actor, Dominic Keating, however, [[SarcasticConfession declared]] that he played Reed gay anyway, and, considering his interactions with [[SlapSlapKiss Tucker]], [[NoSenseOfPersonalSpace Archer]], and [[LoveAtFirstPunch Hayes]], fans tend to believe him.
** However, one episode involving the future crew being descended from the current crew as a result of time travel stated that he died a bachelor, causing him to look disappointed and vaguely pensive. It could be taken as an implication of his true sexuality, though that's probably not what was intended.
** On the other hand, in the episode "Shuttlepod One", Malcolm--stranded in space with Tucker, and believing that they're going to die--spends hours writing letters to old girlfriends. At one point, while drunk, says "I think T'Pol's got a nice bum. Don't you?"
** {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in the final episode in which Riker is speaking to Malcolm and then appears to ask him if he found Trip attractive--we discover however the scene has secretly changed, and Riker is now addressing Hoshi.
** ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': Have I mentioned [[TheKirk I am]] screwing {{Green Skinned Space Babe}}s, and ''[[HoYay not]]'' [[TheSpock Green Blooded First Officers]] today? {{Fangirl}}s still [[SlashFic aren't]] [[WebVideo/TheShipsCloset convinced]].
* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': Turk and JD. Oh, Turk and JD.
-->'''JD:''' ''[waking from an ImagineSpot]'' STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!
-->'''Turk:''' ''[to Carla]'' Okay, we should go!
** Even in the MusicalEpisode in which they have ''a song'' celebrating their "Guy Love", they find it necessary to mention that "There's nothing gay about it/In our eyes".
* Jack Benjamin, crown prince of Gilboa in ''Series/{{Kings}}'', does this as a matter of policy, making a big show of what a boozy, party-hard womanizer he is. He gets a horrible surprise when he finds out his father [[TransparentCloset has known all along]]. Quoth King Silas: "I've been keeping pictures of our family out of the free press for years...wrestle it to the ground, numb it with ice, but you ''cannot'' be what God made you. Not if you mean to take my place."
** Jack is the HoYay interpretation of King Saul's son Jonathan, who had a covenant and very...hands-on relationship with David--even while David was Saul's biggest enemy.
* ''Series/{{Friends}}''
** In one episode, when Chandler is trying to get a date for Rachel:
--->'''Chandler:''' I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? ''[Drew looks at him]'' Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm? I mean? No, I'm--I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not--I'm not--I'm not gay!
--->'''Drew:''' I didn't think you were gay. I do now.
** There's also "The One With the Baby on the Bus"; a woman mistakes Joey and Chandler for a couple while they're out with Ben, so later when two women start talking to them, this occurs:
--->'''Woman:''' So what are you guys out doing today?
--->'''Joey:''' Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
* A variant occurs with the {{narrator}} of ''Breaking the Magician's Code''. The male narrator takes the opportunity in every episode to mention to us just how much he appreciates the Masked Magician's [[LovelyAssistant hot female assistants]]. This is accompanied by the camera work adopting a MaleGaze. This just makes things more hilarious when he says something like "the secret to this illusion is hidden in the Magician's pants".
* For most of her first season on ''Series/{{Skins}}'', Naomi Campbell ([[NamesTheSame not that one]]) made numerous protestations of her heterosexuality. Since she'd say this in between passionate makeout sessions and sex with Emily, neither Emily nor the audience were inclined to believe her.
* Tomboy character Jo from ''Series/TheFactsOfLife'' balances out her butch behaviour when she first arrives by constantly referring to her boyfriend Eddie, and getting into relationships with men more frequently than the other characters. Efforts to femme her up became increasingly blatant in later seasons. By the final season, she was married and wearing a skirt. Presumably, this was either to make her more marketable, or to discredit the LesYay {{subtext}} between Jo and Blair.
* With all of the [[HoYay/WhoseLineIsItAnyway Ho Yay]] on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'', Colin Mochrie has reassured the audience that he is heterosexual when things have gotten waaay over-the-top.
** After Ryan talks about how much he and Colin love show tunes:
--->'''Colin:''' I'm married!
** After Ryan kisses him on the lips to incite a Drew Carey SpitTake:
--->'''Colin:''' I need to get home to my wife...
** In one episode, Colin's CD pitchman character doubles this trope with SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.
--->'''Ryan:''' That sounds great, doesn't it?
--->'''Colin:''' It sure does! [[NonSequitur I'm not confused about my sexuality at all]]!
** Finally gets {{lampshade|Hanging}}d in a session of ''Weird Newscasters'' where weatherman Ryan is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCdkV8MOcDQ "trying to quell rumors that he's gay"]].
** After Drew called ''Whose Line'' the "gayest show on television", Colin, Ryan, and Wayne all hold up their hands to show their wedding bands. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Jeff looks sad at not having one, then kisses Colin just to be cheeky]].
* Craig Ferguson of ''Series/TheLateLateShow'' often inverts this as a gag.
* This trope is played with by a character itself, not the creators of the show, in an episode of ''Series/{{Glee}}'', where gay character Kurt, after coming out of the closet, decides to act like a stereotypical straight guy, wearing flannel shirts and attempting to speak with a deep voice, even making out with a girl, in an attempt to fit in better and believing it would make his father love him more. Throughout the episode he constantly asserts his newfound "macho" status, but no one really buys it (except [[TheDitz Brittany]].) [[spoiler:He goes back to his normal, flamboyantly gay self in the end.]]
** Earlier in the series, before he comes out, Kurt calls the club's disco routine "really gay". After Kurt comes out to Mercedes but before he does to his dad, Kurt tells Finn he isn't gay.
** Santana, who tip-toed out of her [[ArmouredClosetGay Armored Closet]] in order to confess her love for Brittany, only to leap back into it when she was turned down. The next time the two met, she blamed the whole thing on temporary insanity and made sure to point out that she was now going to write an awesome ''heterosexual'' song about her [[TheBeard boyfriend]]. She then got so flustered by Brittany looking at her that she asked her to look away in order for her to remember her locker combination.
* The song "Bret You Got It Going On" from ''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'' starts with this, ends with this, and is filled with a truly remarkable amount of HoYay. As mentioned several times in the episode, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial it's not gay]] when Jemaine puts a wig on Bret and spoons him, because he's imagining Bret's a ''woman''.
* Parodied in a sketch on ''Series/SmackThePony'', involving two female actresses filming a lesbian kiss scene. One of them, clearly somewhat homophobic, is given to loudly expressing how disgusting she finds the whole process once the cameras have stopped filming, and at one point demands that an aide call her fiancee and "tell him I love him." Unfortunately for her, her co-star is [[LesYay clearly nursing quite a heavy crush on her]] at least, and keeps suggesting that they might need to retake the scene a little too frequently and eagerly.
* ''Series/ShamelessUS'' has Mickey Milkovich, who pretends to be straight in the eyes of everyone when he's actually gay. Whenever there's a crowd (specially in front of his father), he makes comments about women or the sort just to remind them that he likes women.
** One of the series best portrayal of this is when Mickey, Ian, Lip, Mandy, and a whole lot of their neightbours go after a pedophile recently released from prison, but upon arriving discover that the pedophile is actually a woman, so everyone quits on it. On their way back, Mickey keeps commenting that the whole story of the woman and her underage student turned him so on that he needed to sleep with a woman right now and goes after the first one that he crosses. Lip's reaction to this, because he found out about Mickey being gay only a little before this episode, is particularly hilarious.
* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' gives us this gem:
-->'''Jerry:''' This jacket has completely changed my life.
-->'''George:''' Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality.
-->'''Jerry:''' Of course.
-->'''George:''' It's fabulous.
* ''Series/{{MADtv}}'' parodied Music/MichaelJackson's "You Rock My World" and its video as "I Do Like Girls", referencing the tendency of several of his videos (including this one) to portray him as a ladykiller, while his RealLife behavior suggested he kept that part of his private life, well, private. (Anything that did go off-message was too odd to tell.)
* Virtually every single episode of ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'' features some little scene or line of dialogue for Dean to assert his heterosexuality/masculinity.
** "My Heart Will Go On" has "Besides, ''Film/{{Titanic|1997}}'' didn't suck that bad." ''[Cue Sam looking at Dean funny]'' "Winslet's rack?"
*** "Out With the Old" continues this trend:
--->'''Dean:''' I saw ''Film/BlackSwan''. Twice.
--->'''Sam:''' ''[gives Dean a strange look]''
--->'''Dean:''' Hot tutu-on-tutu action. Come on, Sam, what's wrong with you?
** In "Let It Bleed" we also get "I was too busy having sex, with women." (Naturally, fans have often interpreted this as SuspiciouslySpecificDenial for Dean.)
* This lyric from the "Pretty Bunsun" number on ''Series/MuppetsTonight'':
-->'''Jonny Fiama:''' ''Pretty Bunsun...I'm not really into that...
* An almost laughable use of this trope in one episode of ''Series/TheGeorgeLopezShow'', where a girl that can easily be confused for having two fathers has one or both of the men say some line that assures the audience that they sleep with tons of women all the time, multiple times, in every scene that they were in.
* ''Series/{{Sherlock}}''
** John Watson is very adamant about his straightness. Unfortunately, few believe him, including his girlfriends/potential conquests, who use that as an excuse to ditch him when in reality it's more because they can't stand his flatmate and [[LivingEmotionalCrutch best friend,]] Sherlock.
** Sherlock's done this too, and is very adamant about his sexuality. Heck, [[FemmeFatale Irene]] seems to think he's ''gay'' for his friend, as well as [[TeamMom Mrs. Hudson,]] and plenty more.
* Frat boys Eric & Jeremy of ''Series/TheAmazingRace 9'' spent roughly 90% of their screen time talking about how much they liked girls. Seriously, you could probably make a drinking game out of it.
* An episode of ''Series/TheWestWing'' has CJ "outed" on a blog--based on not much more than the fact that she is tall, unmarried, and in a position of power. She spends the episode agonizing over a way to flatly deny the outing in the media, while avoiding invoking this trope. In the end, she tells the reporters that it's none of their business, and then goes on a date with the man she is currently in a relationship with.
* ''Series/{{Misfits}}''
** In series five one of the members of Rudy Too's support group is a man who insisted so much on stating he wasn't gay that the storm gave him a very ironic power: every time he said he wasn't gay, he involuntarily teleports into the nearest closet.
** Also, there's [[MrFanservice Alex]] and [[MotorMouth Finn]] insisting that they aren't gay, despite the fact that they ''did'' have sex in the Series 5 premiere. ItMakesSenseInContext. Sort of.
* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' has a RunningGag of Raj being AmbiguouslyBi. They play with this in the episode "The Thespian Catalyst" which had Raj have fantasies involving Wolowitz's girlfriend Bernadette. The last one involved a Bollywood musical piece.
-->'''Raj:''' Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.
* Inverted on ''Series/TeenWolf''. Stiles frequently asks whether gay guys find him attractive and seems worried that they might not, at one point semi-jokingly he asks his best friend Scott if he wants to make out with him, and when he and Scott [[ItMakesSenseInContext accidentally end up in a gay bar]], he's visibly annoyed when a random guy buys ''Scott'' a drink and not him. Despite the fact that his crush on Lydia is very much real, no effort is actually made to establish him as firmly heterosexual, either by himself or the show in general. Many fans [[{{Fanon}} believe/hope]] this means that Stiles [[{{Foreshadowing}} will eventually]] turn out to be [[AmbiguouslyBi bisexual]].
** The episode "Illuminated" had Stiles making out with Caitlin, who last time we saw was in a relationship with a girl named Emily (who was killed in "Fireflies"). When Stiles about this, Caitlin says that she [[BiTheWay likes both guys and girls]], and asks him if he likes girls, to which eh ''very adamantly'' responds that he does. And then she asks if he likes boys too, to which… he is unable to reply. The fans rejoiced.
** And then it was played painfully straight from then on, with Stiles being given a ''very'' forced and sudden relationship with the just-introduced Malia Tate and also having almost no scenes alongside another male character that he had had a lot of HoYay chemistry and subtext with. The actor even confirmed that they had just been [[ShipTease playing Stiles' hinted bisexuality "for fun"]], which upset and insulted many fans. To top it off, the single established gay character on the show, Danny Mahealani, barely appeared in any scenes during Season 3 aside from those purely meant for {{fanservice}}, and didn't appear at all in Season 4. Fans despaired. Loudly.
* The Creator/DisneyChannel has a feature where kids talk about their special talents. Whenever they have a boy with a hobby usually viewed as feminine (like gymnastics), they tend to drop the occasional line about how girls are into them for their talent. Interestingly, whenever they have a girl talk about any masculine talents, [[DoubleStandard they never feel the need to proclaim their heterosexuality]].
* A ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' sketch features Kim Jong-un (played by Bobby Moynihan) announcing that he's lifting UsefulNotes/NorthKorea's ban on same-sex marriage. He then goes on to emphasize that he is "as heterosexual as a person can be" and describes all the AnatomicallyImpossibleSex he supposedly has.
* This is Uncle Mel's catchprase on ''Series/{{Everybody Loves Raymond}}''. It is generally a {{Running Gag}}.
* ''Series/TheDayToday'' featured an unusual third-person variant with regards to its Gay News presenter Colin Poppshed. After Colin has given his report (of such nonsense as the current gay elements, walls and seas), main anchor Chris Morris thanks him and then adds, "He's not gay, by the way. We wouldn't employ a homosexual."
* ''Series/WynonnaEarp'' in one early episode has Waverly repeatedly mention her boyfriend during a conversation where she and the hot female deputy are pretty heavily flirting with each other. Of course, [[FeministFantasy this show being what it is]], this turned out to be an intentionally [[InvokedTrope invoked]] use of this trope - [[spoiler: Waverly came out as bi/gay shortly later and has been in a relationship with saif hot officer ever since.]]
* Inverted by Agent Clements in ''Series/TheFamily'', StraightGay to an extreme that the only indications to the contrary are his OncePerEpisode mentions of his husband. (One of the more prolonged ones suggests that said husband is the CampGay of the relationship, but he never appears in the series.)
* ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'': When Captain Holt has to go into witness protection, his new identity is straight. While Holt is normally StraightGay, he clearly has no idea how to ''actually'' be straight. He spends most of his time talking about breasts, and how wonderful and "heavy" they are. When he needs money, he flatly tells a member of his walking group that he "impregnated a woman" because he couldn't resist her "firm, heavy breasts."
-->'''Jake:''' Heterosexual you is a ''dog''.
* In the ''Series/RavensHome'' episode "Adventures in Mommy-Sitting", Raven and Chelsea go to a club together. When they get kicked out, Chelsea yells "We're just good friends!" In this case, they really are just good friends who are MistakenForGay.

* "I Like Goils" by Music/TypeONegative fits this to a T, written after frontman Peter Steele (R.I.P) posed nude for ''Playgirl'' and discovered a great percentage of the readers were male. Whether or not it is a parody of hypermasculinity and homophobia or played straight is anyone's guess nowadays.
* In Music/FrankZappa's song, "Punky's Whips", the male narrator of the song (sung by drummer Terry Bozzio) sings about how he'd like to have sex with the titular Punky (Angel guitarist Punky Meadows), but vehemently insists "I ain't queer!"
* Music/KatyPerry's "I Kissed a Girl": A song about girl-on-girl kissing that implies she is drunk and so "lost [her] discretion", doesn't even know the girl's name, that the name doesn't matter anyway, that it "ain't no big deal", that she hopes her boyfriend doesn't mind (got that, right? her ''boy''friend) and that it doesn't mean she's in love tonight. The video pushes it further--while not featuring even a single kiss, as it still ends as AllJustADream, and she wakes up besides her ''boy''friend.
* Anytime a rapper says "no homo", it's this trope.
** Mocked furiously by Music/TheLonelyIsland in a song called "No Homo", in which a bunch of male friends get together and do increasingly homoerotic things (up to and including both having gay sex and actually ''coming out of the closet''), all under the justification "no homo", which means they were just kidding.
** Unintentionally (and hilariously) subverted by radio stations who started blocking out "no homo" as a slur.
** Just 2 Guyz and the related videos.
** Threeway.
** Also parodied in a sketch by Funny Or Die.
* ''If I were gay, I would give you my heart/And if I were gay, you'd be my work of art/And if I were gay, we would swim in romance/But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants.'' Courtesy of Stephen Lynch [[spoiler:who ends up shagging the friend he's talking to in the song]].
* The song "Heterosexual Man" by Odds parodies this by playing it UpToEleven. Bonus points for having Series/TheKidsInTheHall in the music video, the Kids being infamous for gender-bending comedy.
-->''I wanna make every woman I know''
-->''I'll make it with them [[AboveTheInfluence unless they say no]]''
-->''Coz I'm a Heterosexual Man''
-->''It's just a problem with my glands''
* The ''Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice'' song "Only a Woman" plays this for laughs: ''Only a woman can brighten up my day/Only a woman can touch me the right way/Only a woman is allowed to touch me there/All I ask is that you're a woman. (Or a man.)''
* Music/JonLajoie's character MC Vagina in the song "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC03hmS1Brk I Kill People]]":
-->''So if you'll come at me I'll trip you then I'll suck your nuts''
-->''I-I mean I'll punch your nuts''
-->''Sucking them would be gay and I'm totally not gay''
-->''I'm all about V-A-G-I-N-A''
** Later on in the song, he gives us this gem:
--->''If a guy messes with me''
--->''I'll shoot him with my load''
--->''All over his face and neck''
--->''[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything And down his throat]]''
* In "I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual" by Sloppy Seconds, the narrator is desperate to dispel rumors that he's gay. Towards the end, he starts believing the rumors, himself, and even lampshades the implication of the lyrics with, "Why did I write this song if I don't wanna be a homosexual?"
* Chester See's "Bromance".
-->''Nothing really gay about it''
-->''Not that there's anything wrong with being gay (gay)''
-->''Shouldn't be ashamed or hide it''
-->''I love you in the most heterosexual way''
* Some of the biggest parts of the glam metal style were makeup, meticulously styled hair, names like Tracii, Nikki, and CeCe, and tight, gaudy clothing; and yet the vast majority of glam lyrics centered around how "I fuck tons of FEMALE groupies because I'm very heterosexual and I like women" (stated through cheesy, thinly-veiled euphemisms, of course).
* The songs "Please Stop Calling Me Gay" and "D I C C W E T T 0 1" by [[WebVideo/FilthyFrank Pink Guy]] are both about the narrator furiously denying being gay and talking about how much they absolutely love having sex with women (and not men).

[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
* This is the purpose of the GorgeousGeorge gimmick, if not outright to claim to be heterosexual, then at least to constantly present ''[[AmbiguouslyGay reasonable]]'' doubt that you are homosexual. Wrestling/GeorgeWagner openly admits to getting the idea for the gimmick from a gay who acted really gay but was constantly flanked by females and while George did without that particular bit, several of his successors such as Wrestling/ExoticAdrianStreet, Wrestling/{{Goldust}} and Wrestling/RicoConstantino at least brought in one woman, Miss Linda, [[Wrestling/TerriRunnels Marlena]] or Wrestling/LunaVachon, [[{{expy}} Miss Jackie]] who they'd get up close with in between their harassment of men.
* Wrestling/KevinSteen and Wrestling/TheYoungBucks said they would force all who got in the way of Wrestling/ProWrestlingGuerilla Champion Adam Cole to suck Cole's dick, but ''they'' don't actually do that kind of thing. They also told all the fans [[XPacHeat who had not appreciated]] them prior and or not bought their {{merchandise|driven}} to suck their dicks, but not literally, Cole's the only one who actually does that sort of thing.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* Creator/JohnMulaney: "But I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend, and she is a female person."
* ''{{Inverted|Trope}}'' by straight comedian Doug Stanhope in ''Beer Hall Putsch''. Following a [[ItMakesSenseInContext gay fantasy bit]], he suddenly starts insisting he's gay [[PlayedForLaughs for laughs]][[note]]Specifically, he goes on to talk about how he has a hobby of coming out because it enforces the idea that [[HaveYouTriedNotBeingAMonster gay people are "normal" like you]].[[/note]] simply because people wouldn't expect it:
-->"I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers, but as an openly gay comedian I feel a responsibility to talk about a lot of issues that--what, are you gonna test me? You don't know if I'm lying. I can be as gay as I want to be up here, fuck you. What, are you gonna strap me to a chair and [[CrossesTheLineTwice blow loads in my face]] to see if I'm fibbing when I say I love it?"
* Also downplayed with Creator/RonWhite; in one bit he commented on his own clothing choices and said he was actually surprised he wasn't gay. He also mentions a friend of his who was a borderline HeteronormativeCrusader, until Ron got him to say "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I want to see big, hard, throbbing cock]]!"
* Music/BoBurnham's song "Oh, Bo" has this lyric:
-->''I make all the ladies say "Oh, Bo"''
-->''And if I were gay''
-->''Though I swear I'm straight''
-->''I'd make the fellas say "Oh, Bo"''

* ''Theatre/AvenueQ''. "I wish you could meet my girlfriend, [[GirlfriendInCanada but you can't because she is in Canada]]!"
** "She's my girlfriend, my wonderful girlfriend, yes, I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada! And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!"
** {{Beat}}. [[QuieterThanSilence Beat]]. [[OverlyLongGag Beat]]. [[[LastNoteHilarity orchestra hit]]].
*** Not in the soundtrack, but onstage, not only the characters, but also their puppeteers, ''the whole orchestra'', and '''''the conductor''''' stare slack-jawed in a seemingly endless awkward moment. Drives it home.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar 2'' does this. After the raft of jokes about the homoerotic "macho man" overtones of the first game, the second repeatedly refers to Dom's Wife and hints at a romance between Marcus and Anya that never serves any purpose beyond re-enforcing his heterosexuality.
** The achievements for the Co-Op Campaign go the other way with names like "Dom-Curious" in [=GoW=] 1, and "One Night Stand", "Open Relationship", and "Friends with Benefits" in [=GoW=] 2, leading to a darkly hilarious (and ''probably'' unintentional) moment in 2 where [[spoiler:the tragic scene in which Dom has to MercyKill his wife]] is immediately followed by the game informing you of the progress you've made towards the 'Friends with Benefits' achievement. Speaking of which...
* Taken to almost absurd levels in ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots''. Snake and Otacon are living together with an adopted daughter at the start of the game, so rumor has it that Otacon was hooked up with [[spoiler: Naomi]] in an attempt to sink the Snake/Otacon ship, [[spoiler:she dies]] three-quarters of the way of the game, leaving Otacon free to dedicate himself to staying by Snake's side in the Epilogue.
* Mocked and subverted (in that it brings forth more HoYay rather then denying it), in ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphoniaDawnOfTheNewWorld''. In a sketch after discovering that [[TheAtoner Regal]] killed a loved one, Emil begins to wonder if he could kill [[FriendlyEnemy Richter]]... [[FoeYay At which point he lamely tries to explain the difference between his like for Richter and actual romantic affection]]. This is his InnerMonologue...
** In the first game, one of the things Zelos says in his first encounter with the party is "I'm not interested in talking to guys", which is occasionally taken as borderline SuspiciouslySpecificDenial, or at least protesting a bit too much.
** Guy Cecil in ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'' also reminds people this at times, seeing as simple contact from a girl [[AllergicToLove causes him to shout and jump away from her]], though in his case it's a ''major'' DudeNotFunny moment. [[spoiler:When he was a kid, his sister and all the maids in his house sacrificed themselves to protect him while Duke Fabre was committing genocide against them. He ended up ''being covered by their bodies for several days on end''.]]
%% * ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}'':
%% ** Yosuke.
%% ** Teddie probably fits this too, since, despite all his talk about scoring with a girl, [[spoiler:he seems pretty into kissing Kanji or the MC during the King's Game...]]
%% ** Kanji.
* ''[[Videogame/DinerDash Wedding Dash]]'' has seemingly every other line consist of Flo and Quinn affirming that, despite being ''extremely'' close friends and roommates who [[TomboyAndGirlyGirl line up fairly well with the stereotypical Butch/Femme lesbian couple]], they are in fact heterosexual.
* ''VideoGame/RobotUnicornAttack'' is specifically designed to induce this trope in a heterosexual male player. ''VideoGame/RobotUnicornAttackHeavyMetalEdition'' is a pretty good way to mention that you're heterosexual.
* Brucie in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV'' will brag about his female sexual conquests whenever anybody questions his sexuality. Notably, in the DLC "The Ballad of Gay Tony" Luis notices him trying to come on to him, so Brucie defensively claims that he was simply trying to see if Luis was gay.
** Also Luis himself in "The Ballad Of Gay Tony." Although many jokes are made by friends about Luis's sexuality, they drown the story with "Luis, you're such a straight skirt-chasing idiot." and filling the gameplay with sex. Notably, Tony has a stereotypically gay side earring and Luis only has a straight side earring, although it bears pointing out that in reality, there is no standardized "earring code."
* ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'' -- James Vega is inconsistent about this. His friendship with Steve Cortez is free of "no homo" dialogue, but if [=Male!Shep=] takes him on the casino mission in ''Citadel'' he gets a little defensive afterwards.
--> "Hey, I shouldn't read too much into being your "date" tonight, right? Because James Vega is all about the ladies."
** Vega will blatantly hit on [=Fem!Shep=], but isn't actually a romance option. [=Fem!Shep=] can even call him out on his being all talk.
** He's also adamant, later on in ''Citadel'', that he really wants to try the hot tub without Cortez. ''Specifically'' Cortez.
* ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfHeroesTrailsOfColdSteel II'' has one in a bonding event with Rean and Princess Alfin at Roer while they were both playing a card game. Alfin asks what [[TheRival Crow]] is for Rean and he explains that he's his most important person and because of that, he has to fight him, comparing their relationship to the card game that they've been playing. Alfin then says that she's jealous of Crow which Rean does hear and claims that guys don't like being shipped that way. However, thanks to a lot of RelationshipWritingFumble throughout the series, it just reinforces Rean to sway a bit much towards Crow.

* In ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'' Emily made sure to frequently remind everyone that she and Ash are JustFriends and she had [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial no romantic feelings whatsoever]], [[BlatantLies none at all]], [[TransparentCloset nuh-uh, no way]] for Ash. There was some {{justifi|edTrope}}cation. Ash suffered an accidental GenderBender, and fully intends to reverse it, so there are complications if Emily is attracted to Ash. Fortunately, it now seems like Emily also wants a relationship with Ash now.
** It bears pointing out that Ash is still mentally a guy, and he never embraced the [[SecondLawOfGenderBending second]] or [[ThirdLawOfGenderBending third laws of gender-bending]], at least while in front of those who know about the misfile (since everyone else remembers Ash as a {{tomboy}}, cis girl). So Emily is attracted to Ash's male personality, not really to his female body.
* Hunter of ''Webcomic/SuicideForHire'' does this to some extent when explaining why he defended homosexuality by holding a congregation of protesters at gunpoint. JustifiedTrope in this case because he's a teenage boy discussing his actions with his best friend who is also a teenage boy, and possibly also because a flashback shows his father's, er, enthusiastic attempts to ensure his son's heterosexuality (by giving him porn when he was thirteen).
* Monette of ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'' originally made a point of reassuring everyone she met that she was not ''straight''. And she failed miserably, because she always slept with every guy within reach... [[NoodleIncident and a koala]] (as [[DeadpanSnarker Davan]] pointed out, it wasn't even a female koala). She has since improved on keeping her, or just met the right woman. She finally decided not to label herself as either gay or straight, and settled on identifying herself as bisexual.
* Subverted in ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' -- Nanase was constantly reminding herself she's straight and blames her attraction to Ellen on Ellen's [[LoveIsInTheAir pheromonic powers]], only to find out Ellen doesn't have them anymore, which means she really ''is'' a lesbian. Played straight with Tedd, who has often denied being gay because of his [[{{Bishonen}} appearance]]. Considering what [[GenderBender regularly]] [[TheMindIsAPlaythingOfTheBody happens]] in this webcomic, the sexuality of any main cast member, at some point, becomes quite debatable. There's every indication that Tedd really ''is'' straight (at least, again, [[GenderBender inasmuch as orientation applies with EGS]]), and secure in what there is of his masculinity too. He only brings it up constantly because people are constantly questioning it.
** Amusingly, Tedd is often romantically involved with Elliot in alternate universes... but '''always''' heterosexually (i.e., when one of them is a girl). The Tedd in Ellen's AU "childhood dreams" had a crush on AU Ellen (Elliot's clone) but she didn't reciprocate. Either the author is having fun (not only the readers, but other characters have been treated to Elliot/Tess or Tedd/Ellen, to their squick and/or amusement) or he's implying that the qualities that make Tedd and Elliot such close friends would also make them a great couple, if only parts and preferences worked out.
** The commentary on [[http://www.egscomics.com/sketchbook.php?id=856 this]] sketchbook entry has Dan himself doing it.
--->Odds are good this won't be the last we'll see of super beefy George. And, ah, girly Justin! Yes. Girly Justin is clearly the one I'm staring at. Yes. Of course. OBVIOUSLY.\\
''So beefy...''
* Faz of ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}'' seems to go out of his way to pursue women simply to reinforce his belief that he's straight, even though all evidence (including his actual sexual relations in the past) contradicts this.
** Specifically, he chose purity over sleeping with Galasso's hot daughter, and slept with Ninja Rick. However, the latter was only so he could become a TwoferTokenMinority (gay and Asian) and keep his job, and he has made repeated advances on Amber, which she hasn't reciprocated. He also seemed sad when Amber hugged him and [[http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/03-minorities-report/mom-2/ he revealed he's never touched a woman as much as a simple hug before.]] Bottom line is that he may be straight, bi, or gay, but he ''is'' clearly messed up.
-->'''Faz:''' Faz requires platonic intimacy.
* In ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge'', Ethan and Danny feel the need to stress they're not gay after a SuggestiveCollision. Ethan is lying, while Danny [[BiTheWay technically]] [[ClosetKey isn't]].
* In the later issues of ''Webcomic/{{Sonichu}},'' every handful of pages is guaranteed to have more than a few carefully veiled hints that the main characters ''and'' the comic creator is straight, and usually more than a few not-so-carefully veiled hints, along the lines of "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am straight". He sure brings this up a lot for some reason. From [[TooMuchInformation what we've seen,]] he's in the TransparentCloset. [[DepravedHomosexual It's not good press]] [[DepravedBisexual for either sexual orientation.]]
** As of recent developments, it turns out speculation was close. Christine Chandler now identifies as a transgender lesbian.
* ''Webcomic/MenageA3'' uses the joke more than once:
** In an interesting inversion, [[DoesNotLikeMen Yuki]] is afraid that she's turning ''straight'' ([[EveryoneIsBi or bisexual]]) for Gary, as shown in strip #300, May 13, 2010 (NSFW). Well, Zii had previously said "She's not a lesbian, she just doesn't sleep with men", mainly due to [[AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles childhood trauma]].
** However, it's Sonya who invokes the trope in pure form, as her personal signature, and despite ''obviously'' being in deep denial. She first denies being a lesbian while eating Zii out, and repeats the denial regularly after that, sometimes while leering at or fondling another woman, despite claiming that Zii is [[IfItsYouItsOkay a sole exception]]. She seems interested when someone mentions the word "bisexual" once, but soon forgets about that.
---> '''Sonya''': Thanks to ''you'', I eat ''pussy'' on a ''nightly basis!''
---> '''''*CRASH*''' as her waitress friend overhears and [[DramaticDrop drops a pot of coffee]].''
---> '''Sonya''': I'm... I'm really not a lesbian!
* Belkar Bitterleaf of ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', despite being a shameless womanizer, is adamant about asserting his masculinity at every turn, displaying {{Squick}} at the slightest signs of HoYay. He seems far more concerned about it than anyone else in the cast.
** And yet, when Roy gets turned into a woman, Belkar hits on Roy, even though he knows it's Roy, just to mess with him, and claims he's secure enough in his manhood to be able to do that. Hmm.
*** Likewise when Elan's father wonders why they are staring at him (he looks like Elan with a different palette) Belkar fields the question by explaining that they are staring at him because he's hot. From the father's response this is actually quite common and Belkar again takes great joy in tormenting Roy about it, to the point of responding to Roy's threats with "[[ThatsWhatSheSaid That's what he said]]".
* Played with in this ''Webcomic/TerminalLance'' [[http://terminallance.com/2010/04/30/terminal-lance-34-its-already-gay/ strip]].
* In ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}'', Jake gets like this in his first conversation with the autoresponder.
-->'''GT:''' *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.*
-->'''GT:''' *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!*
-->'''GT:''' Um.
-->'''GT:''' Yeah.
%% John's statement that "I am not a homosexual" does not fit the trope, since it was in response to Karkat revealing his hatecrush (so not said gratuitously) and the only time John stated preference for either gender.
* The (fictional) publisher of ''Webcomic/JetDream'' comic books created comics loaded with GenderBender and WholesomeCrossdresser characters, but strictly limited boy-on-boy contact (even when one of the boys looked just like a girl) to "D-F-K" (Dance-Flirt-Kiss), and then only for "training purposes." This was apparently due to his idiosyncratic belief that at the dawn of TheSeventies, men needed to adopt a [[WeCanRuleTogether "Fem Is In!"]] lifestyle to survive in the [[{{Cloudcuckooland}} brave new mostly-female world]] that would ultimately arise from Womens' Lib, sperm banks, test-tube babies, and cloning.
* In ''Webcomic/{{Sunstone}}'' Anna has shades of this in earlier chapters in her insistence that she is heterosexual, but this is a playing-with case as her portrayal of her sexuality is rarely consistent. Moreover due to the strong BDSM themes of the comic this also applies to the few recurring characters not in the scene; who tend to be ''introduced'' by stating they are not into BDSM. Again this applies to Anna in a TransparentCloset way as her growing interest in the scene goes hand in hand with her insistence she has no interest what so ever.
* Webcomic/KidRadd:
** Gnarl and Kobayashi.
---> '''Gnarl''': Er, did I mention my unquenchable love of the ladies?
** As well as Radd and [[spoiler:his player]].
* ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}'': Both Slick, and the greater paradigm [[http://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2013-01-23 here]].
* Mocked mercilessly in ''Webcomic/NSFWComix'' with "The Bros", who will literally go down on each other and offset it solely though "No homo!"
* In ''Webcomic/JerkCity'', the characters occasionally talk about how heterosexual they are before getting back to talking about their love of sucking dick, as usual. And Spigot will often say he's gay, despite the female Harriet apparently being his significant other.

[[folder: Web Original ]]
* Mackenzie Blaise from ''Literature/TalesOfMU'' spends a lot of time [[UnreliableNarrator reminding the readers that she isn't a lesbian]], but her relationships with women say otherwise, She's goes into some pretty heavy denial at first -- For example, upon having sex with Amaranth for the first time, her initial reaction is to deny that what they'd done counted as sex, and then to inquire into whether Amaranth possessed any special abilities that cause otherwise straight girls to be attracted to her. Eventually, she gets over it.
* Subverted at the very last moment in the ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' review of ''VideoGame/GuitarHero [=III=]''. Mentioning several times how he got together with guy friends to play the game, in a manly and completely heterosexual way, he finishes the review with:
-->"...but it's just not as much fun as tonguing another man's balls. [{{beat}}] I mean, as it used to be. ...''I'm not gay''".
** Also mentioned occasionally and in a off-handed way in subsequent reviews. Often just a quick "Not gay" thrown in after a particularity gay statement.
** After a possibly love-hurt NonSequitur in his ''Sims 3'' review where concludes that all women are evil, he ends "Incidentally, I'm still not gay." (His animated character starts lifting weights as a manly activity.)
** Even in his ''Extra Punctuation'' coverage of ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', where he talks about how he pursued a homosexual romance with a male character and did a little roleplay on it, to show how roleplay in video games shouldn't reflect on what kind of person you are in real life...he still mentioned his heterosexuality quite a few times...and then stated that Music/DavidBowie used to be an extremely sexy man.
* The [title of show] Show's "What is [title of show]?" [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlqXHKstV-o]] bit from Episode 3: "Hey Jim, I'm straight, did you watch the game last night?"
* ''Man in the Box'': Cameron. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GFbrqoPYR4]]
* Justified-ish in the Athena #1 review on ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall''. Linkara takes a moment to announce that his dislike of female objectification and pointless nudity is ''not'' due to having a disinterest in the female form, since he is not gay. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat He then apologized to his male gay and bisexual viewers for this]], because he's nice like that.
* When WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic reviews ''Film/IndependenceDay'', he [[StupidSexyFlanders fawns over]] Creator/WillSmith for a minute before slapping himself and reminding himself, "Boobs! You like boobs!" Amusingly, Creator/DougWalker tends to go the [[FauxYay opposite]] way. While Spoony and Linkara mention Scarlett, Liz and their fangirls quite often, his fiancée isn't mentioned that much. He'd rather say that there was a Mr. Critic or that he has a "lucky" boyfriend while making an oral joke or striptease for his [[IncestSubtext brother]] for laughs.
* ''Blog/BloggingTwilight'' has the writer describing, "The curve of [Jacob's] bicep looking like a roller coaster track that eyes, and perhaps fingers, cannot help but ride... um... GIRLS HAVE BOOBS AND I LIKE BOOBS!"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_P1OhKUw6I This]] parody of Music/BadRomance is all about this trope and HeterosexualLifePartners.
** There's also [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCPY96Frtyw&feature=channel this]] parody of a Jason Derulo song that might be even more heavy-handed on it.
* ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'': Strong Bad tries to assert his heterosexuality as much as he can, particularly after flirtacious scenes between him and Homestar. And then there's [[VerySpecialEpisode Email brianrietta]]...
* The episode of ''Series/JamesGunnsPGPorn'', "Squeal Happy Whores", features a guy [[MusicalEpisode singing]] about the sex he plans to have with the girl he's singing to: "I'll be so rough, you'll gag / cause I'm the opposite of a fag!"
* ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdL6BjupD1E Celery]]'' by FND Films is nothing if not this trope in a distilled form. Until the characters start making out, anyway.
* Wiki/RationalWiki has a category called [[http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Category:Not_gay Not Gay]].
* In [[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Harry Plinkett's]] [[http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-trek/star-trek-09/ review]] of ''Film/StarTrek'', he has an entire segment about how the producers felt a need to give every single character a "case of the not-gays".
* WebVideo/TheJokerBlogs: In Thomas Eliot's [[ADayInTheLimelight day in the limelight]] short [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHVwLTCFsi0&feature=g-subs-u The Doctor is in]] he is shown bedding every man that he lay his eyes on. He later share a drink with [[Comicbook/{{Catwoman}} Selina Kyle]].
-->'''Selina:''' I've been watching you. Call me crazy, [[{{Gaydar}} but I don't think you are interested in bringing a girl home tonight.]] \\
'''Thomas:''' ... Maybe I was interested in bringing home two or three girls. \\
'''Selina:''' ''[Scoffs]'' Now you are just overcompensating.
* In ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI-2YC78Z80 at the end of their Ninja Breadman episode]] Creator/{{Egoraptor}} explains how when he was younger (as an ironic jab against bullies accusing him and his friends of being gay) he and his friends formed The D-Club which consisted mostly of just showing each other their penises and going "Yep, still not gay." A rather bizarre use of this trope, and one which [[NinjaSexParty Danny]] was convinced was still very homoerotic. They spent [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbPy1eEz9Ao an entire episode of Katamari Damacy]] debating whether or not The D-Club was actually gay, though Danny seemed to just be playing devil's advocate because he found Arin's flustered defenses hilarious. It didn't help Arin's case that he admitted that [[DiggingYourselfDeeper wieners had touched at some point.]]
* ''Website/TheOnion'' article "[[http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/ Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?]]" is this trope taken UpToEleven.
* Ryōga of ''[[WebVideo/RanmaOneHalfAbridged Ranma 1/2 Abridged]]'' persistently double-checks with his [[InnerMonologue inner monologuing]] voice that what he's doing could only be construed as the actions of a straight man, and inserts his justifications into casual conversation.
--> ''[Holding up pages of Yaoi]''
--> '''Ryōga:''' Where can I find this? And I like women.
* One {{Website/Cracked}} contributor does this in an article about scientifically proven ways men can become more attractive to women. One tip he gives has to do with the AnimalChickMagnet effect, using Bradley Cooper and a hypothetical adorable Dachshund as an example. The entire paragraph concerning Bradley Cooper relays the author's apparent desire to have sex with him, despite being a "straight online comedy writer".
* ''WebVideo/LouderWithCrowder'': Steven's producer Jared. Who is most definitely Not Gay.

[[folder: Western Animation ]]
* Since ''WesternAnimation/StaticShock'' couldn't show Richie [[HideYourGays being]] [[AnimationAgeGhetto gay]], they used this to help get that facet of his character across. ([[http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=226749&page=5 Confirmed]] by WordOfGod.)
* ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks'' has had some fun with this one. [[VerbalTic (No homo.)]]
* William Murderface in ''WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}''. It shows in at least five episodes, including a time where he won't eat any food that is longer than it is wide, because it's too close to a penis. Pickles notes that for this to bother him so much, he must be thinking about dicks in mouths all the time. And when the group is hiding in a closet, they hear an odd noise... only to turn the lights on and see [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Murderface licking a hotdog]].
** When Dethklok reveals that they will be designing a line of clothing, Murderface takes the podium and assures everyone that even though he is about to enter the fashion industry, he is not gay.
* Tyler had a line like this on ''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama World Tour,'' when he introduces himself to [[ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful Alejandro]] right after a bunch of admiring girls did:
-->'''Tyler:''' I like girls.
** Owen also gets this when [[EvenTheGuysWantHim Justin]] is around. Unlike Tyler, it's [[AmbiguouslyGay less clear]] that he's [[BiTheWay entirely straight]].
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' plays with this in "Future-Drama":
-->''[Waylon Smithers enters with a woman holding his arm]''
-->'''Bart''': Mr. Smithers? I thought you were, you know-- uh...
-->'''Smithers''': Ha ha, no, I'm straight! As long as I take these injections every ten minutes. ''[he injects himself]'' I LOVE BOOBIES!
* From the ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'' episode "The Misery Chick":
-->'''Kevin Thompson''': I mean, the guy was a hero. A really good quarterback, everybody liked him, kinda hunky, you know. Not that I would notice something like that.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Pasila}}'': Rauno Repomies is interviewed for television, but since someone mentioned the possibility that they might suggest that he's gay, he spends most of the interviews proclaiming he's not, until [[spoiler: the only way to get out of the situation with honour is to admit that he is, even though it's not even true]].
* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'': Kyle Broflovski is often MistakenForGay with his mortal enemy/frenemy, Eric Cartman. Whether or not it's because [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cartman gave him AIDs]], or because Cartman sabotages Kyle's date with a girl by singing to him in front of thousands of people, Kyle would like you to know that he is definitely not in any way involved with Eric Cartman. Now [[AmbiguouslyGay Cartman, on the other hand...]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' episode "Stew-Roids," one of the James Woods Regional High School jocks constantly makes homophobic comments culminating in "everyone's gay but me!" before coming out of the closet in his final appearance.
* Subverted in ''WesternAnimation/TwelveOunceMouse'' when Shark tells Fitz that he loves him. And not in that way. Okay, maybe a ''little'' in that way. Sort-of. 50/50.
* Jeremy in ''WesternAnimation/AllenGregory'' is self described as 'straight as an arrow' at least until Richard stalked and harassed him into leaving his wife and kids for a gay relationship.
* In ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'' Carl is always quick to point out he's not gay whenever the subject comes up, even when it has nothing to do with him.
* In ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' episode Slice of Life, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbXfdKROeyM Lyra and Bon Bon claim to be best friends]]. [[https://www.ponychan.net/oat/src/1434242503270.png The fandom doesn't buy it]].
** This was of course after the Equestria Girls versions in ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyEquestriaGirlsRainbowRocks'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwAOtd4f7M8 seemed to be a bit closer than friends as well]].

[[folder: Real Life ]]
* The infamous RealLife press conference called by baseball player Mike Piazza when he was a member of the New York Mets. The sole purpose of that conference, it seemed, was to announce that he was heterosexual. Rumors questioning Piazza's sexual preference had been getting pretty frequent up to that point.
* After former U.S. Senator Larry Craig was arrested for "toe-tapping" with an undercover police officer in a men's restroom, he arranged an interview that was essentially him mentioning he was heterosexual over and over again, with his wife constantly by his side. ''Series/TheDailyShow'' was naturally all over this. "And look! He's ''married''! To a ''woman''! A ''she-woman''!"
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard Ted Haggard]] is an evangelical pastor in Colorado and leader of the National Association of Evangelicals until 2006, when an escort and masseur claimed Haggard had been paying him for sex for three years. He went into intensive counselling with four ministers, one of whom later claimed Haggard "was completely heterosexual" This is satirised by the song "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZmHC75FDqQ Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual]]" by Roy Zimmerman. (Later, Haggard said in an interview "...probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual.")
* A running joke on one season of ''Series/HaveIGotNewsForYou'' was that whenever Jason Donovan was mentioned, someone would quickly add a variation on "Jason Donovan? Did you know he's ''heterosexual''?" -- a reference to his then-topical overly defensive response to claims to the contrary, having sued a magazine which said he was gay. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat Not because there was anything wrong with that]], but because they said he was ''lying'' about it.
* When Eric "Eazy-E" Wright of the rap group N.W.A. revealed that he'd developed full-blown AIDS, he spent the remaining few months of his life telling anyone who would listen that he didn't get the disease from gay sex, but from [[ValuesDissonance good old fashioned groupie banging]].
* When Magic Johnson revealed he was HIV-positive, he was quick to assure the public that he was heterosexual. To his credit, he soon realized the potential UnfortunateImplications and reached out to homosexual groups for his HIV/AIDS activism. At the time it was believed only homosexuals or drug addicts could catch HIV or AIDS, and he used his activism to make it clear ''anyone'' could catch the disease.
* Cultural critic Devon Carbado wrote that he liked to play a game when reading articles about and interviews with gay author James Baldwin: Count how many lines it takes for the author to somehow announce that he is heterosexual, usually via mentioning a wife. According to Carbado, it is always (or nearly always) in the low single digits.
* Hal Sparks, post ''Series/QueerAsFolk'', seems like he has to assert that he is heterosexual in real life at every opportunity by talking about women he'd like to have sex with as much as possible.
* According to [[http://www.avclub.com/articles/bronson-pinchot,34310/ Bronson Pinchot]], Creator/TomCruise was like this on the set of ''Film/RiskyBusiness''. When Tom Cruise's marriage to Creator/NicoleKidman was breaking up, he ''sued'' a French gay porn star who claimed they'd done the deed.
* One famous example: When Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere were married there were rumors that the marriage was a cover for one or both of them being gay. In 1994 they placed a full page paid advertisement in the London Times to state "We are heterosexual and monogamous and take our commitment to each other very seriously."
* Upon becoming President UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush's new Chief of Staff in 2006, 51 year-old bachelor Josh Bolten had a press release sent out, letting everyone know that he lived with his girlfriend and her children.
* From an actual magazine cover: ''"Music/JustinBieber! He's young! He's a star! And he just loooooooooooves girls!"'' Glad we cleared ''that'' up...
* Christian Weston Chandler used to have a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYHqGcR3xi0 bit]] of a problem with this, [[{{Understatement}} Among other things]].
* Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}} was more than glad to help clear up any possible rumors about 2012 Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty. [[http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/05/tim-pawlenty-is-definitely-not-gay/238485/ Just to be clear.]]
* Creator/VicMignogna's absolute certainty none of the characters he's played are gay, even HoYay-filled Creator/{{CLAMP}} works, does make one wonder.
* [=FCKH8.com=] has a line of anti-homophobia t-shirts, among them "[=STR8=] AGAINST H8". Just so people don't get the wrong idea.
* The number of times Music/KellyClarkson has denied being a lesbian is becoming excessive. Possibly because, along with her weight, it's the only subject media and gossip sites want to talk about.
* Miguel, an R&B singer, once asked during a concert [[http://www.bet.com/news/music/2012/08/02/miguel-demands-more-women-at-his-concert.html if he could have more ladies at the front of the stage and felt the need to add, "Sorry, fellas, I'm not playing."]]
* Music/KennyChesney, particularly after Creator/ReneeZellweger claimed "fraud" in annulling their marriage after four months: "I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I am not gay."
* After Creator/SethMacFarlane conducts the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus in the 2013 UsefulNotes/{{Academy Award}}s telecast, he assures [[Creator/WilliamShatner Captain Kirk]] (time-traveling [[http://oscar.go.com/service/redirect/video?video=VD55278422 from the future),]] "I'm not actually a ''member'' of the chorus. I just joined in with them at the end there.."
--> '''Kirk:''' Trust me. In July 2015, you "[[UnusualEuphemism join the chorus]]".
* Seth [=MacFarlane=] did a prank phone call, illustrated by ''Series/CrankYankers'', in which he called a gay bar and complained about the lack of 'broads'. The more it should have become clear to him what kind of bar it was, the more he affirmed his heterosexuality, until he drifted a bit into TransparentCloset.
* Former long-time New York Mayor Ed Koch, a lifelong bachelor, was from almost from the beginning hounded by allegations that he was gay (in his ''first'' mayoral campaign in 1977, supporters of his opponent Mario Cuomo had posters reading "Vote for Cuomo, Not the Homo"), and released several statements over the course of his career to the effect of "I am heterosexual," all of which, along with his consistent disregard for even reasonable policy requests from the gay community, merely encouraged further speculation that he was just [[ArmouredClosetGay deeply closeted]]. He was also very blatant about having former Miss America Bess Myerson accompany him to public events, even though it was pretty obvious that they were PlatonicLifePartners rather than a couple.
* [[Music/KnifeParty Gareth McGrillen]] is so insecure, he [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/162a1269b19631d8b669adb3fec981e9/tumblr_mgojpbLNXT1r318rho1_500.png felt embarrassed]] about buying a cucumber ''for a tonic''.
* When his ex Amber Rose needled him on Twitter for enjoying being fingered anally, Music/KanyeWest went to great lengths to [[http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20981907_20983244,00.html vociferously deny]] that he enjoyed any activity in that particular area.
* The term "girl crush" signifies this trope, since adding the "girl" qualifier connotatively means "I'm straight, but I find that girl / woman attractive."

--> [[TheStinger No homo]].