History Main / FamilyVersusCareer

* Jan Kuehnemund, the founding member and lead guitarist for the all-female glam metal band Music/{{Vixen}}, speaking from bitter experience said this trope--along with CareerVersusMan--were the reasons why she was reluctant to join an all-female band. Because eventually those tropes would often come into play, causing the break-up of the band.

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* Downplayed in ''Anime/HeartcatchPrettyCure''. Tsubomi's parents were both highly respected botanists who were majors in their field. However, it wasn't until Tsubomi had a major emotional breakdown that they realized by choosing their careers, they were hurting their family. So they quit their jobs, moved to Kibogahana, and opened up a flower shop. They're still both working, just that now they got more time with Tsubomi.

* One of the (many) reasons fans hated the ending of ''ComicStrip/ForBetterOrForWorse'' was because Elizabeth gave up an exciting and meaningful job (namely, teaching) to go running back into the arms of her high school boyfriend Anthony to marry and have a baby. Anthony's first wife, Therese, meanwhile, is judged for wanting to go back to her career in finance after having Francoise, despite the fact that Anthony had reneged on a deal to be the HouseHusband in order to talk her into having Francoise in the first place.

* Deconstructed in ''Fanfic/ConversationsWithACryptid'' with [[spoiler: All For One]], which is arguably the crux of all their problems as they want to have both. They started a family, only to abandoning them with well-meaning intentions when their criminal activities caught the eyes of many enemies. This abandoment emotionally scarred their spouse and child for years. They attempted to purge all their enemies, leaving many heroes and civilians caught in the crossfire, while also leaving a successor to take over and take the blame of their actions. By the time [[spoiler: All For One]] does reunite with their family, all of Japan is on the verge of falling apart and the heroes are hardly able to control the criminal element which grows wilder without their leader's guidance. It's strongly implied for their family and for Japan that it would have been better if [[spoiler: All For One]] just stuck with one to begin with.

* The ''ComicStrip/ForBetterOrForWorse'' fanfic ''FanFic/TheNewRetcons'' explored Elizabeth and this trope further, with Elizabeth wanting to be defined as more than 'Anthony's wife, Francoise and James's mother', but thinking that she ''has'' to enforce this trope, and is surprised when Anthony suggests getting a job if she doesn't want to be just that. (It's only worse in that she's following in her mother's footsteps. Elly had the same feelings about this trope: hating it yet thinking it's ironclad. It was a contributing factor in her losing her mind.) Therese, meanwhile, admits she's MaternallyChallenged and in the end, would pick her career over her family, giving primary custody of Francoise to Anthony and emigrating to France to further it (though it's agreed she will have Francoise for one month every summer).
* ''FanFic/OriginOfANonHero'' has a RareMaleExample alongside a straight version: All Might warned his protégé that he couldn't balance raising a family with being a Pro Hero. Despite this, Izuku and Ochaco get married, and both attempt to continue their careers. This doesn't go well, resulting in [[spoiler:the pair divorcing, and Ochaco getting slammed by the media for 'breaking his heart']].

* For all of the North American workers who still have to report to a physical workplace, or those who have to again report to a physical workplace, childcare has been growing more and more expensive, to the point of eating up one parent's entire paycheck. On top of that, at least in the US many childcare centers and preschools have had to close to the end of enchanced emergency funding. This has forced a lot of North American parents, mostly mothers, out of the workforce and back at home with their young children.

* With the increasing prevalence of remote work and other non-traditional arrangements, especially since the UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic, it's becoming easier for women ([[WhenYouComingHomeDad and men]]) to [[TropeBreaker balance]] work and family.

* In ''Anime/HeartcatchPrettyCure'', Tsubomi's parents were both highly respected botanists who were majors in their field. However, it wasn't until Tsubomi had a major emotional breakdown that they realized by choosing their careers, they were hurting their family. So they quit their jobs, moved to Kibogahana, and opened up a flower shop. They're still both working, just that now they got more time with Tsubomi.

* Joanne Bertin's ''Literature/TheLastDragonlord'' has Maurynna, recently made a ship's captain and loving the work, find out that she is actually a [[OurDragonsAreDifferent weredragon]], meaning she has to leave that work and go to the place where weredragons live with her OneTrueLove. In ''Dragon and Phoenix" she's not happy about giving up her ship and makes this clear repeatedly, getting angry with her true love when she finds out that even if she hadn't been required to give up her ship, he would have tried to convince her. For her the issue is of freedom versus love, and as much as she appreciates the love she misses the freedom. In the end, she doesn't get her ship back, but she does get the ability to [[VoluntaryShapeshifting take her dragon form at will and fly]], which helps.

* ''Literature/{{Underdogs}}'': Ewan's mother became a stay-at-home mom because of him. His [[ExpelledFromEveryOtherSchool problems with mainstream education]] meant that she was constantly having to go to his schools in the middle of the day, and having a regular job just wasn't convenient.
* Tim from ''Literature/TheBoyWhoDrewMonsters'' was once planning to go back to college and finish his degree, but after his son Jack Peter was born and later diagnosed with autism, it was decided that Tim would be a stay at home dad, since his wife Holly, as a lawyer, made more money than he did. Now Tim works as a caretaker for rich people's summer homes, a job that leaves him with plenty of time for taking care of Jack Peter.

* ''Series/OurMissBrooks'': Several episodes (i.e. "The Wrong Mrs. Boynton") suggest that Miss Brooks' intention upon marrying Mr. Boynton is to quit her job and become a fulltime wife and mother. [[spoiler:Miss Brooks finally marries Mr. Boynton at the end of TheMovie GrandFinale.]]
* The entire third season of ''Series/UglyBetty'' has been about this message. This is especially ironic since (a) Betty doesn't even have children or a husband, and (b) the family member screaming for the attention is her sister, who already is home with their ill father on a daily basis anyway.

* Cuddy on ''Series/{{House}}'' seems to be falling victim to this trope via her adopted baby. In this case, Cuddy ''is'' a single mom, and doesn't really have a husband to help her take care of the baby, so it's a little more justified.

* This was the central theme of an episode of ''Series/TwiceInALifetime''. A man convinces his wife to give up her career to stay home and take care of their daughter while he climbs the corporate ladder. The result is that the marriage falls apart, the daughter grows up to be a delinquent and his career goes nowhere. When the guy is given the chance to go back in time and fix things, he realizes that his wife was great at her job and on the fast track for a major promotion. He convinces his past self that the right choice is for him to stay home and support her. In the new timeline, their marriage is saved, the wife is a successful corporate executive, the daughter had a happy childhood and is now going to college and he found his own happiness as a stay-at-home dad.
* ''Series/StargateAtlantis'':
** Played straight in season three, where we meet Jeannie Miller, Rodney [=McKay=]'s sister. She had left a promising career in theoretical physics to raise her daughter, much to her brother's consternation. Jeannie makes it clear that she chose to be a wife and mother and is happy with her decision. But despite being a {{Housewife}}, she's still a scientist (and even occasional ActionGirl) who solved a problem that had baffled [=McKay=] for years "in [her] free time, with fingerpaints."
** Subverted in season five when Teyla struggles to decide if she should rejoin Shepherd's team after her pregnancy and risk leaving her son without a mother, or if she should give up fighting for the freedom of the galaxy which is also very important to her. In true ActionGirl fashion, she does both (it certainly helps to have a HouseHusband in these sorts of situations.)
* This happens a lot in shows PoliceProcedural shows, such as ''Series/ColdCase'' and ''Series/CriminalMinds'' as mentioned above, with. As the cops are usually MarriedToTheJob, it puts a strain on their relationship with their families, especially their spouses. Sometimes the older characters are mentioned to have gotten married/divorced more than once because of this.

* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': Carla thinks about staying home with the baby for a while. After taking a six-week break after the birth of her child, Carla realizes she can't stay away from her job for a whole year because she loves working there. Turk isn't too happy about the decision but quickly gets over it. By the end of the episode, Carla starts working again but feels sad about having to leave Izzy with a nanny.
** In season 8, JD takes a job at another hospital to be able to spend more time with Sam, though with him it's more about being not being able to see his friends from his old job.
** When Dr. Cox becomes Chief of Medicine, he struggles with juggling his new responsibilities on top of taking care of patients (something he really doesn't have to do but wants to) and picking up his son Jack from school. Jordan tells him she understands that he'll need time to figure out how to balance things out since he refuses to give up on anything, and she doesn't care if he has time to pick Jack up from school, just as long as he's there to read him a bedtime story and tuck him in at night.
* In ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle'', Lois and Hal married young and kept on having kids. Lois had ambitions of being a concert pianist but had to abandon them to take care of the children and work two hours a week short of full-time at a supermarket to help pay the bills. She is actually bitter about this, which manifests as meticulously controlling every single aspect of [[KidGenius Malcolm]]'s life to live vicariously through him, and possibly unconsciously sabotaging [[ChildProdigy Dewey]]'s piano contest to prevent him from surpassing her.
* ''Series/MadMen'':
** It's implied that Betty's less-sympathetic traits stem from high intelligence - she has an anthropology degree from Bryn Mawr - socially constrained from having a career outside the home.
** Joan is expected to leave her office manager job and start pumping out babies when Greg makes chief resident. She actually does resign even when he is passed over. But since she realizes that she values having her own work and he is an awful husband even by the standards of this show, the arrangement doesn't last. She then demonstrates her competence in a bid to save her job and starts a schedule that also allows her to bond with her young son, even after she rises up through the corporate ranks.
* At the end of ''Series/PrettyLittleLiars'', ALL of the principal cast's main plans revolve around starting families/getting married. Somewhat subverted as the cast did get fulfillment out of their respective employment while they had them, particularly Hanna who had her own business, they just don't seem to believe a career is important past your early twenties.

* ''Series/TheTwilightZone1985'': In "Little Boy Lost", the photojournalist Carol Shelton must decide whether to accept her dream assignment abroad or marry her long-time boyfriend Greg and have children. The day after the job offer, she meets a strange boy named Kenny at the zoo and she assumes that he was sent by a modeling agency to work with her. The two of them spend the day together and quickly form a bond. The next day, Carol breaks it to Greg that she has decided to take the assignment. Immediately afterwards, she finds Kenny at her apartment and he pleads with her to remain in the US. Confused, she asks him how he knew about her conversation with Greg and where she lived but Kenny runs away. He mysteriously vanishes before Carol can catch up with him. The following morning, Carol sees Kenny in the park and questions him once again. [[spoiler:She discovers that Kenny is the son that she would have had if she had chosen to turn down the assignment and marry Greg. Carol explains that she does want children but there are other things that she wants to do first. Kenny says that she might have a son one day but it won't be him. He then fades away, calling Carol "Mom" just before he disappears forever.]]
* Discussed in ''Series/ChariteAtWar'', which is settled in the early 1940s in Germany. It's a source of conflict between Doctor Margot Sauerbruch and young, pregnant doctoral candidate Anni: Margot tries to scare Anni away from her patient Lohmann by noting she's probably more of a candidate for a motherhood award than a dissertation. Contemptuously, Anni replies that Margot is not the role model she'll take -- Margot has one daughter who's currently in a boarding school and doesn't plan on having more whereas Anni wants to quit working in a few years to raise a whole bunch of babies. They get over this when Margot empathizes with Anni's concerns about her baby. [[spoiler:Anni winds up divorced, raising an only daughter alone and thus supporting herself.]]
* ''Series/ForLife'': Used as an excuse by [[spoiler: Glen Maskins when he steps down as Attorney General-elect. (In fact he was [[ResignInDisgrace pressured into resigning]] due to his [[AmoralAttorney unethical and illegal actions]])]].
* ''Series/Girls5eva'': Prior to [=Girls5eva=]'s reunion, Dawn and Scott were planning for a second baby. Her revitalized dreams of pop stardom puts a stop to this plan for now. Scott isn't thrilled about it but tries to be understanding.
* ''Series/FullFrontal'' with Samantha Bee posits that one reason many people involved in multi-level marketing schemes are women, is that {{Eagleland}} doesn't provide any sort of guaranteed paid parental leave or childcare, meaning that many women who can't afford to send their children to daycare or hire a nanny (and don't have family members or friends they can rely on nearby) have no choice but to drop out of the workforce. Of course, that means the household loses their income as well, leaving them susceptible to being suckered into these scams.
* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'': Played with in "Fascination". After an argument with Keiko, Miles O'Brien told her that he had written a resignation letter from Starfleet. Keiko later told him that, while she appreciated the gesture, it wasn't necessary for him to choose between Stafleet career and family.

* Deconstructed in [[https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/ this]] webcomic titled "You Should Have Asked," which explores how traditional gender roles have shaped modern relationships.

* Sadly averted in ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}''. Malory prioritizes her career over her son, leaving Woodhouse to raise young Sterling. On the rare occasions when she did spend time with him, she usually tormented him in order to teach him a lesson.
* An episode of ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' tackles this. When Stan befriends a senator, he leaves Roger to take care of Steve to focus on climbing the political ladder. However, when Roger's antics cause the senator's daughter to be taken by drug lords and doped up, the senator reveals he doesn't give a crap about her and only cares about his job, making Stan realize that his family comes first.
* A variation occurs in ''WesternAnimation/{{Jem}}''. At the start of season 2 Pizzazz and Roxy threaten to kick Stormer out of the band if she doesn't get her brother Craig to find out Jem's secret identity. She gives in but Craig doesn't take it lightly when they find out what her friends said to Stormer.
* Averted in the ''Franchise/TheFlintstones'' movie ''Hollyrock-a-Bye Baby''. When Pebbles' and Bamm-Bamm's twins are born, Pebbles immediately goes back to work at her advertising agency. Since Bamm-Bamm is a screenwriter, he is able to work from home and be a full-time dad.
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Talespin}}'', Rebecca was occasionally portrayed as neglecting Molly somewhat due to the amount of work she had to put into Higher for Hire. It was never suggested she ''shouldn't'' be running the company, just that she should be trying for a better work/life balance.

* ''Manga/YoureMyPet'' is a major deconstruction of this trope, with the main character eventually ending up with someone who tells her it's ''her'' decision whether she wants to keep her career or not (and means it!). She eventually ends up becoming a respected freelance journalist who travels around with her husband the internationally acclaimed dancer.
* Inverted, or something like that, in a two-episode arc in the second ''VideoGame/SakuraWars'' OAV. The first episode centers around the other girls believing that Sakura is going to get married, which of course unquestionably means that she will [[QuittingToGetMarried quit her job]]. The second episode is Sakura, who is actually just attending a relative's wedding, moping over how she can never get married and have a family herself because she doesn't want to quit her job. The girls remark a few times on how glad they are that this is a "new era for women" where they can choose to have a career or a family (but not both). Well, it ''is'' the [[DeliberateValuesDissonance 1920s]]...

* ''Manga/GreatTeacherOnizuka'': Ms. Kanzaki tries to have her cake and eat it too, and in fact had her daughter [[ChildProdigy Urumi]] partially to help advance her own career as a stock trader (she [[spoiler:chose sperm from a genius scientist]] so Urumi would be smart and able to help her with her work). She works from home, but might as well not be there, given how absorbed she is in work, to the point that [[spoiler:she doesn't even notice when Urumi tries to commit suicide]].

* [[ComicBook/FantasticFour Reed Richards]] runs into this now and then. While there is no question that he loves his family, he sometimes has a hard time showing it and tends to get so caught up solving scientific problems that he unintentionally ignores them. The Council of Reeds consists of alternate universe versions of Reed Richards who as a rule have raised themselves to PhysicalGod levels through various means, and take on cosmic-level problems even more routinely than the Fantastic Four. They told the main universe Reed Richards the main difference between them is that adherence to human morality and social connections are holding him back from reaching his full potential. After a brief hesitation, Reed decided to turn away from the Council and return to his family.

* The page image comes from ''ComicStrip/BabyBlues'', in which [[http://babyblues.com/comics/november-24-2001/ career woman Rhonda feels shafted by her mother]] because she has yet to settle down and have a family, compared to her sister Wanda, who as of this time has three children.

* This is how Creator/TeamFourStar interprets Towa's continued villain status in ''VideoGame/DragonBallXenoverse2'', despite that they concluded that she got together with Dumplin at the end of the previous game: while she does love Dumplin and their daughter Puddin, she is still committed to her plan to revive the Dark Demon Realm, regardless of the fact that she'll have to fight Dumplin and Pudding over it.
* ''FanFic/OriginOfANonHero'' has a RareMaleExample alongside a straight version: All Might warned his protégé that he couldn't balance raising a family with being a Pro Hero. Despite this, Izuku and Ochaco get married, and both attempt to continue their careers. This doesn't go well, resulting in [[spoiler:the pair divorcing, and Ochaco getting slammed by the media for 'breaking his heart']].

* Deconstructed in ''Fanfic/ConversationsWithACryptid'' with [[spoiler: All For One]], which is arguably the crux of all their problems as they want to have both. They started a family, only to abandoning them with well-meaning intentions when their criminal activities caught the eyes of many enemies. This abandoment emotionally scarred their spouse and child for years. They attempted to purge all their enemies, leaving many heroes and civilians caught in the crossfire, while also leaving a successor to take over and take the blame of their actions. By the time [[spoiler: All For One]] does reunite with their family, all of Japan is on the verge of falling apart and the heroes are hardly able to control the criminal element which grows wilder without their leader's guidance. It's strongly implied for their family and for Japan that it would have been better if [[spoiler: All For One]] just stuck with one to begin with.
* Justified in ''Fanfic/BornOfHellsKitchen'' when Foggy points Matt is already unable to balance his legal career as a lawyer and moonlighting as a vigilante, and now that he's officially claiming his son Peter's guardianship it will only lead him to crash and burn. Matt agrees and decides to drop vigilantism, since his son has psychological problems and needs all the care and reassurance he can get.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]

* ''Film/OurMissBrooks'': Miss Brooks' intention in this [[TheMovie theatrical]] [[GrandFinale series finale]] is to leave her job as an English teacher once she achieves her SeriesGoal of marriage to Mr. Boynton. Family first for Miss Brooks, as her dream is to be wife and mother. [[spoiler:She marries Mr. Boynton at the end of the film.]]
* In ''Film/AirplaneIITheSequel'', an early indication that we're not supposed to like Elaine's current man (aside from him not being Ted Stryker, of course) is that he very seriously expects her to quit her rewarding job as a computer officer on board the first passenger space shuttle and start making babies.

* ''Film/XMenApocalypse'': Agent Moira [=MacTaggert=] was married and has a son, but she got divorced because her priority is on her career at the CIA.
-->'''Moira''': I had a husband, but it's hard to do this job and make it home in time for dinner.

* ''Film/TheDevilWearsPrada'' shows Miranda going through another divorce because her husband can't handle the amount of time she devotes to her job. Her two daughters are shown spending most of their time with a nanny.
* Deconstructed in ''Film/TheIntern''. Jules is the head of a successful company and is considering hiring a CEO so she can have more time at home with her family. But it's then pointed out that hiring a CEO won't automatically fix any problems she has at home, and Jules herself is vital to the running of her company. [[spoiler: Her husband, who had been having an affair, calls it off and agrees to work harder to fix their situation]].
* ''Film/TheGrudge'': Subtly hinted at with Susan. She wears a wedding ring and one out-of-focus picture in her apartment might be of a little boy (the lighting makes it hard to tell), but she seems to live alone while she works at her overseas job.
* In the movie ''Film/IDontKnowHowSheDoesIt'', the principal character does have both a family and a career she loves, though she struggles to balance them both, implying she should choose (even though the company she works for bears responsibility for not understanding their employees have lives outside of work). Averted in that she keeps both her career and family, though one of her colleagues has an accidental pregnancy when before she was disinterested in anything outside her career. She keeps the baby and becomes enchanted with having a family the moment she gives birth. The film was panned for an abundance of stereotypes, and the title itself suggests having both a career and a family is a struggle principally women face.

* In ''Film/MissSloane'', the titular character has long ago made the choice to focus on her career 100%. She doesn't even date, preferring to regularly meet a male escort in a hotel room for sexual satisfaction and for a brief fantasy of a relationship.
* ''Film/{{Proxima}}'', with the chosen angle being the particular estrangement and strain brought upon a mother/young daughter relationship when the mother is an astronaut who has months of training to do without seeing her daughter and has to literally leave this world for a full year.
* ''Film/WildRose2018'': The prevalent conflict is that Rose-Lynn has difficulty balancing her dream and caring for her family, and Marion at one point chews her out for focusing on her performance after her son breaks his arm. In this case, however, it's more indicative of Rose-Lynn's immaturity, and she later wisens up and finds a good balance.
* Regina from ''Film/UnderThePiano'' gave up a promising career in opera to raise a family. She admits that she did it because she was scared of success and thought marriage was the safer option and views Rosetta's mental disability as punishment for throwing away her gift.
* ''Film/SonRiseAMiracleOfLove'': In a RareMaleExample, Barry quits his job as an ad executive so he can spend more time working with Raun.
* ''Film/FieldersChoice'' has another male example. Philip struggles to care for his autistic nephew and work on his advertising career at the same time. In the end, he realizes he doesn't want to end up like his boss, sixty-three years old with lots of money but no wife or kids, and passes up the promotion he's been after for years.
* ''Film/DarkWaters:'' Rob’s wife is a former workers comp lawyer who is now a stay at home mom.
* Kathy from ''Film/Jimmie2008'' quit her studies when her autistic son Jimmie was born. Her career as a translator didn't take off until after he was institutionalized.
* ''Film/TheBigCity'': Arati, once a {{Housewife}}, gets a job because the family needs the money. They don't have a lot of choice about it, especially after Subrata is thrown out of work, but Arati still feels guilty when litte Pintu gets a fever while she's out working.

* ''Film/GetSmart'': Max and Agent 99's cover story for the trip to Russia consists of them being a married, currently child-free couple, due to 99's persona choosing to focus on her career. Max makes a side comment that, 99 being OlderThanSheLooks due to MagicPlasticSurgery (necessitated by her cover having been blown on a previous op), she's biologically running out of time, which 99 does not take well: she snaps that it's a personal decision and not his, or her mother's.
* ''Film/LookBothWays2022'': The central conceit: Natalie either moves to Los Angeles to start her creative career, or moves back in with her parents in Austin after she falls pregnant. [[spoiler:She makes strides towards both in both realities, and the movie suggests that women can in fact have it all.]]

[[folder:Film]]

* In the movie ''Film/IDontKnowHowSheDoesIt'', the principle character does have both a family and a career she loves, though she struggles to balance them both, implying she should choose (even though the company she works for bears responsibility for not understanding their employees have lives outside of work). Averted in that she keeps both her career and family, though one of her colleagues has an accidental pregnancy when before she was disinterested in anything outside her career. She keeps the baby and becomes enchanted with having a family the moment she gives birth. The film was panned for an abundance of stereotypes, and the title itself suggests having both a career and a family is a struggle principally women face.