[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/{{xkcd}} http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/free.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350: Wait, [[Series/MadMen Don Draper]] did that for cigarettes in 1960. How can you hate ''him''?]]
->''"The best part of this As Seen On TV item is the commercial itself, which expresses the product's versatility, which allows it to be used on either a gas or electric stove top - you know, like pretty much every other pot in existence."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/MatthewSantoro''', on the Pasta Pot, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbY2Qzy8_UQ Top 10 As Seen On TV SCAMS!]]''

To protect us all from lies and fraud, the government makes sure that everyone only tells the truth in their advertisements -- in [[ExactWords the most literal, mundane sense of "truth"]]. However, that doesn't stop advertisers from trumping up neutral, insignificant or even negative aspects of their products as though they were positive, by using phrases like "real", "100%", "free from" and "pure". The things these ads say are ''true'', but [[PureIsNotGood not necessarily good things]]. It works because the standards for those products are esoteric or obscure: [[TheCoconutEffect if you hear it repeated often enough, you'll assume it actually is a good thing because you don't know any better]].

The ad can imply that competitors' products do not do this because they fail to measure up to the same standards. After all, if this brand of dry cereal proclaims so loudly that it is 100% fat free while the rest are silent, that means other brands are just dripping with lard, right?

To be clear, this trope does not refer to labels that are used mistakenly or fraudulently. It's only Asbestos Free Cereal if the advertisement is ''entirely true'', but misleading in that the claims it makes are actually insignificant (they apply to all products in that category, as in the page image, or just have no bearing on the product's quality at all) or negative (somewhat rarer), repackaged to seem positive and desirable. A clear example would be any vegetable-based product being toted as "cholesterol-free", because cholesterol is only found in animal fat, so there's no reason peanut butter would have it in the first place.

Sister tropes are LiteCreme, AllNaturalSnakeOil, and the somewhat more malicious NeverNeedsSharpening. A form of FalseReassurance and [[PolishTheTurd Turd Polish]]. Contrast UnfortunateIngredients. Compare SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.

For the rare cases in which advertisers just flat-out admit the product they're shilling has many flaws, see OurProductSucks.


!!Straight examples:

[[folder:Good, Pure, Real, 100%, and All-Natural]]
* 7Up once advertised "5 all-natural ingredients" for about a month. These five natural ingredients included high fructose corn syrup and natural flavors.
* UsefulNotes/McDonalds emphasizes its "hand-picked Arabica coffee beans" in its [=McCafe=] advertisements. Arabica ''is'' usually considered a better product than Robusta[[note]]Robusta gives thickness and bitterness to the coffee while Arabica gives a richer flavour. Coffee brands usually mix them to attain a thick yet flavourful coffee, with some making a selling point of using 100% Arabica. Also, coffee beans come from different countries and are sometimes mixed, so some people will like e.g. Colombian coffee more than they like Brazilian, regardless of the percentage of Robusta[[/note]], but the fact is that almost all coffee beans are hand-picked, due to the temperamental nature of the coffee plant making mechanization very difficult. And most coffee beans are Arabica, anyway.
* Maxwell House did this same "100% hand-picked Arabica" schtick long before [=McDonald's=] thought of it, and quite a few brands in the US quickly followed suit. Folger's, significantly, does ''not'' make any such claims, mostly because their product does in fact contain a large percentage of Robusta beans. This stems from a price war in the 60s and 70s that, among other things, had companies moving to using only cheaper, harsher tasting Robusta beans. The practice had [[BadToTheLastDrop nearly killed]] the coffee market by the early 1980s.
* Related to the whole wheat example: Quaker has proudly advertised that all its hot oatmeals are whole-grain oats -- including the instant oatmeals with flavoring. Neat trick.

[[folder:Free, Clear and Hypo-Allergenic]]
* In UsefulNotes/TheNewTens, it became quite a common selling point to advertise a product as "gluten-free," thanks to a string of fad diets at the time that suggested reducing or eliminating it. Gluten is a protein found in grains, like wheat, rye, and oats. While there are some gluten-free products made for people sensitive to it, a lot of these products never had any gluten in them to begin with. [[note]] It can be very helpful for those who are sensitive or allergic to gluten; having otherwise logically gluten-free foods marked as gluten-free, which makes shopping much less challenging. [[/note]]
** Wegman's Cola, the generic version of Coke sold at the (rather upscale) Wegman's supermarket chain in the US Mid-Atlantic region and Northeast, is marketed on the label as "Gluten free", "Lactose free", and "Vegan". So it has no wheat, milk, or other animal product. [[note]]We're not sure if Jones Turkey Soda did in fact contain animal products in its "natural and artificial flavors." A true exception is Calpis, also known as Calpico in English-speaking regions, which is fermented, sweetened, and carbonated milk. However, it looks just like milk, so a lactose intolerant person would be careful around Calpis anyway.[[/note]]
** There's at least one type of white cooking wine that advertises itself as "Gluten free" but FridgeLogic kicks in when you realize that wine is made out of grapes, so there is never gluten in it. Even rice wine, which is made of "glutinous rice" is gluten free, due to an odd language quirk. [[labelnote:explanation]]"glutinous" just means "sticky" and is related to the word "glue", and that happens to ''also'' be the root of the word "gluten", otherwise the two are unrelated.[[/labelnote]]
** This also goes for non-flavored liquors such that label themselves "gluten-free." Gluten is a protein that is present in most grains that liquors such as whiskey, gin and some vodkas are made from, but gluten doesn't make it through the distillation process. Rum, tequila and brandy are never distilled from any grains by definition, so a gluten-free label on any of those is pretty much a secret gullibility test for the consumer. [[labelnote:Why non-flavored?]]Many flavoring agents are made from malted ingredients, so people with an actual gluten intolerance should proceed with caution.[[/labelnote]]
** Another joiner on this particular bandwagon is Santa Cruz Organic Peanut Butter, which is 100% made from peanuts and has the label highlighting that it is "gluten free". Even brands of peanut butter that aren't 100% peanuts generally don't use gluten-containing products. While there is certainly an opportunistic advertising element to all of these examples, it's also a bit Truth In Television. To legally declare a product "gluten free" you have to do gluten testing, maintain separate production facilities, etc. Gluten contamination can occur before the product even exists -- for instance, oats growing in a field where wheat was once planted.
** A brand of cornflakes has started advertising itself as "same taste, gluten-free!" Except there's no measurable amount of gluten in ''corn'' (''Zea mais'') flakes. So if the new, improved, possibly-certified cereal tasted different, that would be a reason to worry. This same line of logic extends to popcorn advertised as "gluten-free," which are sometimes made from the same strain of corn as corn flakes used in cereal.
** Possibly averted by a brand of circular oat cereal which applied the "gluten free" label to its boxes. The back of the box acknowledges that the oats from which the cereal is made would not have gluten, but they changed their agreement with processing facilities to ensure no cross contamination from wheat products.
** Spotted in the wild: a restaurant sign extolling passersby to "try our new gluten-free fries!" Potatoes, as you might have guessed at this point, are another item that normally doesn't have any gluten in. Except, just for educational purposes, most fries are fried in the same oil as gluten products, and certainly stored with them and some of the salts/miscellaneous added extras contain gluten. It's super necessary to label what you have that's fully non-contaminated, even if it seems pretty dumb to the layperson, because of life-threatening conditions like coeliac disease.
** A 2018 series of adverts for Herbal Essences shampoo commercial [[https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/WeYAAOSwBRVadzVX/s-l300.jpg proudly proclaimed]] their shampoo to be 100% gluten-free. Even aside from the fact that ''of course'' it would be, gluten doesn't harm people with a sensitivity to it or coeliac disease unless it's ingested. (And if you're eating your shampoo...)
** Another spotted-in-the-wild example of gluten fever: gluten-free shredded coconut.
* A Scandinavian cookie brand boasts that their cookies, which are light brown like most cookies, are "free of artificial coloring." A scientist interviewed in the newspaper noted that this is nothing special, since for the most part, cookies aren't blue.[[note]]Brown could, however, be due to use of caramel or of Brown FK, both amongst the more dubious of artificial colours; but most brown bakery products are brown due to natural caramelization.[[/note]]
* The anti-GMO movement is so popular now that some manufacturers put non-GM labels on things like salt, [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/571.jpg water]], and [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/573.jpg baking soda]]. Since DNA is only found in living organisms, it's impossible to genetically modify salt, water or baking soda because they don't have any genes to modify in the first place.
* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't healthy: they're full of sugar, and the fruit is way too processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market.
* Skippy Peanut Butter used to advertise itself as "cholesterol free," which is a true claim... since no brand of peanut butter has cholesterol. (Cholesterol is strictly from animal products, which generally don't go into peanut butter.)
* The label on bottles of the mineral water brand [=Hydr8=] boast that it's completely free of sugar, calories and colouring. Of course, this is true of water in general. You might as well brag that "This novel from Random House all include words that you can read to get a story!" The only difference is, it's possible to make an unreadable book. If you've managed to make water that contains one of those ingredients without additives, then you're a RealityWarper and [[CutLexLuthorACheck what are you doing selling water in the first place?]]
* Jell-O sugar-free instant pudding mixes also boast that they are "fat free". All instant pudding mixes are fat free, they're just sugar, cornstarch, flavorings, colors and preservatives. The fat content depends on the milk you're using.
* Advertising meat as growth-hormone free. Likely meant to appease the anti-GMO group above, since the use of growth hormones and anabolic steroids in cattle and poultry-rearing have been banned since the [=1950s=], at least in the U.S., though it's still a possibility when dealing with imports and outsourcing.
* There's a [[https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1l2i1z/well_good/ photo]] going around of a bunch of seedless watermelons being labeled "Boneless"; obviously, since watermelon is a fruit, it doesn't have bones. A reply theorizes the possible reason why they're labeled such: an associate ran out of "Seedless" stickers to use, with the store only having "Boneless" stickers to work with.
--> "Fuck it. Seeds are like bones, right?"

[[folder: Only Our Product Has...]]
* Certs is advertised as the only breath freshener with Retsyn. Retsyn is a combination of ingredients which is made by Certs under the trademarked name "Retsyn," [[DontExplainTheJoke so nobody else is allowed to use that name even if they use the same ingredients]].
* Ditto with Trident Xtra-Care gum, which advertises calcium-based Recaldent to "remineralize" teeth. (Recaldent, of course, is just a combination of the prefix "re-", the word "calcium", and the French "dent", meaning tooth.)
* "Only Birdseye peas have Birdseye's Vitamins In Peas guarantee!" Yes, because you are hardly going to give that marketing gimmick to your competitors are you?
* Brompton's bicycles claim to have over X amount of specialized parts on every bicycle (usually in the triple digits). Brompton also patented each part in a way that no other company can make parts that will fit on a Brompton. What this means is that Brompton has a monopoly on its parts. If your Brompton needs even the slightest bit of maintenance or repair, be prepared to pay through the nose because Brompton can charge any price it wants. (By contrast, there is a standard on most bicycle parts that frequently need repair, such as brakes and inner tubes, that nearly all other bicycle manufacturers follow, including those of higher quality than Brompton's.)
* Creator/{{Disney}} UsefulNotes/BluRay Discs released in 2010 or later claim to have "Disney Enhanced High-Definition Picture and Sound." How exactly this differs from the high-definition picture and sound of the other big studios' Blu-ray Discs doesn't get detailed.
** Disney loves this one. Back in the early days of DVD they used to advertise, "Now on video [presumably meaning VHS] and Disney DVD..." The only difference between a Disney DVD and any other DVD is that it has a Disney movie on it. It is at least possible that Disney built their own encoder that worked far better than others, which could explain that. That said, it's possible, not likely.
* Several brands of gasoline have contained trademarked additives over the years, such as Shell's "Platformate" or Chevron's "Techroline" (later "Techron"). As with Retsyn in Certs, no other gasoline could claim to have these additives, ''even if they contained additives that were chemically identical.''
* Sucrets once advertised that for sore throats, their product is listed in the Physician's Desk Reference. Yes, it is. Because the Physician's Desk Reference is a list of every medication in existence. "Listed" is not the same thing as "endorsed."

[[folder:Other Claims (to be sorted)]]
* At least eggs and milk are kinda good for you. But Nutella's main sales-argument is also 'gives you energy'; yeah, refined sugar tends to do that. Sugar is also the main ingredient in 'energy-drinks', with the caffeine and taurine more of an afterthought.
** In the US, they claim that being made with "hazelnuts, skim milk, and a hint of cocoa" mean it's a great snack for your kids, and that it can be put on healthy foods to make them taste better. Problem is, they leave out the large amount of sugar, and that you'd probably be better off using peanut butter on your whole-grain toast (see above for why that's not necessarily a great claim, either).
** The reason for this advertising? Nutella was marketed as "gives you energy" in post-UsefulNotes/WorldWarII Italy, where its dense calorie content was helpful for giving Italian children a cheap, quick rush of energy with their breakfast. In America? Not so much.
** If one looks at the calorie count for Nutella, it's true, it really does give you energy. If you're using it on a sandwich, maybe more than a quarter of all your energy in the day, maybe more than half!
** In an inversion of this type of claim, free UK newspaper Metro once published a letter from a reader complaining that processed foods "have no energy" (presumably using "energy" in some unspecified mystical-nonsense way, rather than in the scientific sense of "that which enables work to be done"). The following day, it printed another letter, replying that the real problem is that processed foods have far too much energy, and that's why there's an obesity crisis.
* Bell Canada advertises their high-speed Internet as "perfect for laptops". Well, it really doesn't matter what form of computer you're using, but sometimes an included Wi-Fi router does come in handy.
* Many {{Role Playing Game}}s (especially in the 16-bit era) had advertisements or box blurbs boasting "Over XX hours of gameplay!" Depending on the game, [[FakeLongevity a good number of these "XX hours"]] would be devoted to LevelGrinding or walking from place to place.
** ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious LevelGrinding and dubious {{Side Quest}}s: around 40 hours. But they've got a NewGamePlus feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours!
** Parodied on the back of a CompilationRerelease of ''VideoGame/EarthwormJim 1 & 2'', which advertised 700 or some-such hours "(yes, hours!)" of gameplay, for two games that aren't even long by side-scroller standards.
* Battery companies advertising that their alkaline batteries last two to four times longer than [[BrandX other brands]] of battery. But they always fail to point out the type of battery they are comparing to is cheaper zinc–carbon batteries rather than similarly priced alkaline ones. If compared against similar alkaline batteries, there would be next to no difference in length of use. Duracell is a major offender with this, most notably with the original "Duracell Bunny" commercial from the 1970s.
** Eveready[[note]]at the time, the creator of the Energizer brand; these days Energizer is the parent company, and Eveready their subsidiary[[/note]] created the Energizer Bunny campaign as a direct shot against Duracell. Duracell did successfully sue Eveready, though, over their "Nothing Lasts Longer" claim in the Energizer ads[[note]]Which were actually true -- nothing lasts longer, although [[BestIsAverageBetterIsBest all of their alkaline competitors last just as long]][[/note]]. Subsequently, the fictional competitor "Supervolt" was created as a BrandX parody of Duracell, still implying that Energizer can outlast their alkaline rivals.
* Similar to the "Over X hours of gameplay!" listed above, many games would advertise having "Over X characters!" or something, and then would have X+1. A particularly bad example is ''VideoGame/BatenKaitos'': It advertised "Over 1000 [[FightLikeACardPlayer Magnus]]!", and it has 1022. Which included things like plot and sidequest items, photos you take of enemies to sell them for cash since there are no {{Money Spider}}s, healing expendables and a whole bunch of crap in general. ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyTacticsA2'' also uses this on the back of its European packaging which states that the game has "more than 300 quests" [[note]]exactly 300 plus the bonus quest[[/note]] and "over 50 available jobs." [[note]]51 plus 5 special jobs unique to certain characters.[[/note]]
* A surreal example is 'VideoGame/EmpireEarth'', sold on the promise of containing "over 500 000 years of history". Five hundred thousand of those years are devoted to the Neolithic age, which a player can and probably will want to pass through faster than banging two rocks together, in order to spend more time in the more interesting ages adding up to nearly five thousand years beyond the advertised half a million.
* The VideoGame/FootballManager series has turned its promotion of the [[CashCowFranchise yearly updates]] by claiming that the game has hundreds of changes. Football Manager 2014 is claimed to have over 1000. Of course, these changes include every single minor bug fix, change in UI, and any scrap of change, even if the change is for the worse.
* An advertisement for a device amplifying one's hearing starts out by cheerfully saying "How would you like to have SONIC HEARING?!" 'Sonic' is, by definition, a part of hearing.
* In 2011, the Belgian cable company Telenet has been advertising its internet via the cable as "[[UnitConfusion Surf at the speed of light]]!" Virtually all internet traffic uses fibre-optic connection at some point in the process, which moves at the speed of light. The only thing that improves download speeds is ''how many'' signals can be sent at the same time over the same connection.
* When Wendy's was going through a major marketing overhaul, aside from "better quality ingredients" (such as red onions instead of white, which is more personal taste than anything), they began to advertise their French fries as "natural cut". This was an odd but enticing phrase, especially since they were now also seasoned with sea salt and cooked (not "fried") in different oil. After poking and prodding, it turns out that "natural cut" simply means "the skins are still on when we cut them". Also, the claim about their fries being seasoned with sea salt is technically correct but misleading since it's trying to make the salt they use sound more exotic. Actually, ''all'' salt comes from the sea; it's exactly the same salt sitting in a shaker on their tables.
* Atari's Jaguar console was boasted as "The first 64-bit console", with the tag line "Do the math!" This was because it had ''two'' 32-bit processors, which [[FromACertainPointOfView does in fact "math up"]] to 64 bits, but ''[[AvertedTrope that's not how bit-counting works]]''. This blatant lie coupled with the system's sub-par performance even compared to other 32-bit systems made it the last console Atari would make. Adding insult to injury, although the Nintendo 64 [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin happily had a 64-bit graphics processor]], most consoles from that point forward focused on overall specs and iteration numbers rather than just the main processor's maximum word size.
* As recorded in a ''The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said'' calendar, a grocery store advertised "golden, ripe, boneless bananas."[[note]]Although, really, that's more [[http://youtu.be/UZyI5NP_YqM personal preference.]] Plenty of people like their bananas bone-in, so why most stores sell only the boneless kind is a mystery.[[/note]]
* [[http://www.cableone.net Cable One]] advertises a speed of "50 Megs" or "50 Megs per second" in its radio commercials. They neglect to mention that it is mega''bits'', and not mega''bytes'' as the commercial implies, which lowers the speed by a factor of eight.
* A brand of cheese advertises that it's made with "100% fresh milk". Given that cheese is milk that's gone bad, fresh milk isn't exactly an asset when making it.
* Among the many faux-artisanal trends adopted by fast food restaurants since the turn of the millennium, the most pointless was/is the marketing of burgers that proudly used '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome Black Angus]]''' beef. Unlike other gimmicks such as chipotle sauce and ciabatta bread, this one doesn't require any special new ingredients at all, because while the marketing makes it seem as if Angus is some exotic, special breed renowned for its exquisiteness, the truth is that it's ''the'' most common variety of beef cattle in the United States, and #2 in Western Europe.
* For a while Apple kept touting that every new feature of Mac OS X came with "Over 300 features!" or something like that. While a lot of these could be considered features some of them were simply including language support in a development tool (that you could download anyway), removal of a feature, among other minor changes that nobody would really care about.
* One of the oldest examples comes from Lucky Strike cigarettes, whose packaging proudly bragged that "It's Toasted!" all the way back in 1917. ''All'' cigarette tobacco is toasted,[[note]]The implication was that competitors used sun-dried tobacco, but in reality none of them did because sun-dried curing takes far longer compared to using artificial heat, and that decreases production volume and speed.[[/note]] but consumers drew the conclusion that other brands somehow used untoasted tobacco, and this false assumption made Luckies the top-selling brand for decades.
* In mid-2016, Antarctica was declared the most LGBT-friendly continent. This probably has more to do with the nature of Antarctica ([[HumansAreBastards no permanent residents]], no companies or corporations based in Antarctica), and the fact that there aren't any laws (either favorable or unfavorable towards the LGBT set) ''in'' Antarctica, just laws governing what other countries can and cannot do there (for example, no military installments) than anything else. It's literally true that Antarctica is more LGBT-friendly than any other continent...but kind of deceptively so.
* It's very common to see cheap projectors sold online with impressively high resolution mentioned in the product title, only for the detailed specs to reveal that this is the ''input'' resolution rather than the resolution it displays. So yes, the projector will happily accept a 1080p Full HD image... but it only has the hardware to project that 1080p image ''scaled down'' to 480p.
* In Britain in the late 1990s, several start-up [=ISPs=] (most notably Freeserve) offered "free" internet access -- no contract, just dial their number. What they carefully omitted to mention is that it was free of subscription charges and contract obligations, not free of all charges; fees for online time were levied via the cost of the call (the pay-as-you-go model), and like most [=PAYG=] services, it was the most expensive way of doing it. One of their rivals advertised their (conventional) [=ISP =] services as "cheaper than free".
* One brand of folding bicycle was advertised as having 'extra large 20" wheels' (as compared with other folding bikes, which had ordinary 20" wheels). One problem with this is that there is no such bike wheel size as "extra large" -- there is only "small" (up to 24") and "standard" (26" or 27").
* Any gambling that gets promoted with slogans like "you'll never win if you don't play", which is is trivially true for ''all'' games. Even worse: in most cases, the chances are that you'll ''still'' lose if you do play.
* Cable and satellite companies comparing their broadband Internet speeds to DSL. Although DSL is ''much'' slower than what they're likely offering, what they don't tell you is, ''most residential homes aren't even going to be using DSL in the first place''. (And certainly almost no businesses would use it, either.) Today's society is so Internet-dependent that DSL, while state-of-the-art in the late [[TheNineties 90's]] or at the TurnOfTheMillennium, [[TechnologyMarchesOn just doesn't cut it for most people now]]. The only people that are going to be using DSL are people who live in remote areas where cable and fiber Internet are not available, low-income households that can't afford to get anything faster (or else they would), or people (generally older) who use the Internet sparingly. (i.e. people that either can't get broadband, or have no interest in it to begin with). So they're really comparing apples and oranges.
* Check out any baby name book advertising on the cover that it has tens of thousands of names in it. Betcha anything they're counting 15 spellings apiece of Brittany, Megan, and Carly as 45 individual names.

!!{{Lampshade Hanging}}s and {{Parodies}}

* A [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzTXxZ3sNUI Head and Shoulders commercial]] poked fun at the rising trend of "zero trans fats" popping up in foods and [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] this trope with a tire that contains "zero death crystals."
* [[http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2009/05/cereal-of-the-month-club-presents-croonchy-stars/ Croonchy Stars]]. Blurbs on the box read "No artificial colors! No doorknobs!" and "This product does not contain (among other things) Venetian Blinds and Pachyderms".
* One Sanderson Farms commercial has a marketing whiz throwing out various buzzwords like "no antibiotics!" and "gluten-free!" to which the two poultry farmers in the ad point out that none of the chicken you can buy has antibiotics in it by federal law, and chicken has no gluten by default.

[[folder:Audio Play]]
* ''AudioPlay/MontyPythonsContractualObligationAlbum'' has the String sketch, where an advertiser is looking for a way to sell 122,000 miles of string... in 3-inch lengths. Among others, the advertiser describes them as pre-sliced, rust-proof, easy to handle, low-calorie, and free from artificial coloring. When he learns they're not waterproof, he switches to water-absorbent.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'' showed an ad for a poster of ''[[ShowWithinAShow Happy Noodle Boy]]'' that was made with non-poisonous ink.

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* On ''Series/ThirtyRock'', Liz felt socially responsible because her awesome new jeans had a "Hand made in USA" label. Then Jack corrected her pronunciation, revealing that the jeans were made by the "Hohnd" people, slave laborers in the despotic island nation of "Usa" (pronounced like "Oosa").
* Shown in the first episode of ''Series/MadMen'', about cigarettes, with the tagline "it's toasted!" which all tobacco is. TruthInTelevision -- cigarette companies did advertise this way, though the tagline dates back to [[AnachronismStew 1917, not 1960]].
* ''Series/TheGoodies'': On "It Might as Well Be String" (a spoof of the advertising industry), their ad campaign for Sunbeam Sliced Bread claims that "nine out of ten doctors agree that people who eat Sunbeam Sliced Bread are less likely to be trampled to death by elephants". Graeme does mention that it was a struggle to find the [[MadDoctor right nine doctors]], however. And the elephants.
* Gob's banana stand in ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment''. "Finally a frozen banana that won't make you sick and kill you!"
* An example of the harmful variation from ''Series/TheSarahJaneAdventures'': "[=BubbleShock=]! Contains [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Bane]]!"
* The "Fairsley Difference" sketch on ''Series/MrShow'' showed a homespun grocery chain, Gibbons, driven to bankruptcy by a competitor's slick ads boasting about horrible conditions the competitor's stores did not suffer from, such as homeless people defecating in the aisles, or [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial customers' children being abducted into homoerotic slavery in Pakistani whorehouses]]. They never say these things '''are''' true of Gibbons, so [[MetaphoricallyTrue they aren't actually lying]].
* Inverted on ''Series/TheDailyShow'', when a pediatrics group advocated against hot dogs, Aasif Mandvi gave "threats" about eating hot dogs, like "Eating hot dogs provides none of your daily fruit intake", "People that eat hot dogs have a [[WeAllDieSomeDay 100% chance of dying]]", and "If you lined up all of the deaths from hot dogs, they would stretch some of the distance to the Sun".

[[folder:Magazines and Periodicals]]
* The ''Magazine/{{Mad}}'' book ''Madvertising (Or, Up Madison Avenue)'' (1972) had some gags promoting a nonexistent product to mock this sort of labeling:
** Ron's Only tomato sauce: "Does not contain any linseed oil or shirt starch"
** Prull shampoo: "Gets hair extra clean, without drowning roots and causing baldness"
** Mr. Chipper cookies: "And no one has ever died from eating our brand!"
** S&R trading stamps: "Backed with a special glue that won't give you cancer of the tongue!"
** Golf gasoline: "NO WATER to rust your tank! NO MOLASSES to gum up your engine!"
* Portland-based ''BANG! Magazine'' had a parody of Sega Genesis' "Blast Processing" advertisements. It [[http://fav.me/d5bdfee boasts]] that unlike most electronic tablets, ''BANG!'' has "[a] solar-powered reflective surface, a recharge time of 0.0000, a higher-resolution screen than even the Retina display, [and] DRM-free content".

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* One ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'' strip had Calvin come up with an idea for selling "Calvin's Curative Elixir". When Hobbes pointed out that it was drainage water with leaves in it, he described it as "Fortified With Chlorophyll".
** This also serves as a GeniusBonus for those who remember that fortifying things with chlorophyll was an actual fad in the 1950s.
* ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'' pulled this one [[http://www.foxtrot.com/2013/06/02/dont-be-sour/ here.]]

[[folder:Other Internet]]
* Many submissions (usually around [[AprilFoolsDay April 1]]) of tool-assisted {{speedrun}}s to [=TASVideos.org=] mention that the run "does not color a dinosaur." (''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_a_Dinosaur Color a Dinosaur]]'' is an infamously low-quality coloring book for the NES, and is considered by [=TASVideos=] to be a bad game choice.)
* A [[http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2011-10/uoic-rlw102411.php study of drinking water disinfectants]] expresses concern that iodine based disinfectants are not regulated by the EPA in drinking water. Of course, this is because it is unheard of to disinfect water with iodine unless you're a backwoods hiker (and even then, portable filters are far more popular these days). Every system uses the much cheaper chlorine.
* Seanbaby mocks the common use of "Fat Free!" on sugary candies in [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-ways-marketers-think-were-retarded/ this article]]:
-->" Are you insecure, candy? Because you don't see gravy bragging about being sugar free. This label is so irrelevant to consumer health that I think it's only there so doctors can laugh when they ask you questions about how you got diabetes."
* [=YouTube=] channel WebVideo/OutsideXbox: the only review show guaranteed not to harvest your organs and sell them on the black market! (Claim at start of [[http://youtu.be/LKbP1NeneZA this video]]).
-->'''Mike:''' Do other shows really do that?\\
'''Andy:''' I don't see them guaranteeing that they won't.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud1JXqGWPvU Boneless Pizza]] (warning: sensory abuse) is a strange case of someone asking for this specifically and [[WontTakeYesForAnAnswer becoming irate]] when it's suggested that what they want is ''only'' made in the way they're specifying.

* ''Podcast/FatFrenchAndFabulous'' is a non-GMO, gluten free Podcast.

* ''Radio/APrairieHomeCompanion'' has segments "sponsored" by "Old Folks at Home Cottage Cheese", which is the ''only'' brand of cottage cheese which promises ''right on the label'' that it contains no arsenic and no formaldehyde. We're not saying other cottage cheeses do, but isn't it suspicious that they've never come out and ''said'' so?
** Made all the more hilarious by the fact that all organic matter contains trace amounts of arsenic.

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* Truly bad cards in MagicTheGathering tend to get two kinds of comments made about them: BlatantLies claims about their power and {{Metagame}} reputation, and meaningless claims about the card's value - Asbestos-Free Cardstock, as it were. Take the [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Discussion.aspx?multiverseid=45985 Gatherer comments for Chimney Imp]], for example. One comment (by user Laguz) reminds us that the five lands you had to tap to cast it untap the next turn with no drawback (which, barring other effects, they always do), it's immune to dying by [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=deathmark Deathmark]] (as is every other black/red/blue nongreen/nonwhite creature), and it implicitly has the ability Rampage: 0 (which is like saying "1+0=1" and treating it like something special about the number one).


[[folder:Urban Legends]]
* A newspaper advert for a "Genuine Mexican coathanger. Only $5." When the curious shoppers send away for their coathanger, they receive a rusty nail.
** Similarly, an advert explaining that, while marijuana cannot be sold through the mail, "grass" can. People who fell for it got a packet of lawn clippings.
* A Company that was selling clotheslines as "wind-powered clothes dryers".
* A Tuna company that gets a shipment of accidentally bleached tuna and markets it with the slogan "doesn't turn pink in the can!" A common variation includes a competitor selling the pink product putting out a competing slogan, "never bleached!"
** This story is also told about canned salmon. In this (somewhat more likely) version of the tale, the salmon in question was simply a different variety whose flesh was paler, and the advertising campaign was meant to quell consumer fears that something was wrong with the white salmon.
** There's a third version of this story out there in which the white salmon is advertised as a rare delicacy with a price to match, even though there's no difference in flavor or quality between it and regular salmon.
** This type of salmon does indeed have different flavor characteristics than normal salmon; there is a gene that causes their flesh not to become pigmented, and this gene also changes the way fat is stored in the flesh, causing these salmon to be much more oily, which many people do find more desirable, even though the appearance is less appealing.
** Even more ironically, a lot of farm-raised pink salmon is fed red food ''dyes'' to achieve that color (wild salmon eat shrimp, which colors their meat pink; farm-raised salmon is usually fed cornmeal and fish meal, which don't). Undyed salmon advertised as such is probably just a question of time.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* One of the games in ''VideoGame/RhythmHeaven Fever'', "Packing Pests", has the player working at the "Spider-Free Candy Company". In this case, they seem to have a lot of spiders at the packing plant, which you swat away as you pack candy. Granted, if you mess up, that just means there'll be a few spiders in the ''package'', not in the candy itself.
* [[Videogame/{{Portal 2}} Aperture Science]] [[http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e9cf/ shower curtains]] contain less than 1% mercury.
** Given that Aperture's other products tend to be radioactive,laden with asbestos, or otherwise harmful; they might actually think this is an achievement worth advertising.
* In the ''VideoGame/{{Pokemon}}'' games, Magikarp is an intentionally terrible JokeCharacter ([[{{Pun}} Jokémon]]?) [[http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3289995/MAGIKARP/ This image]] extolls its virtues using a lot of this type of logic.
** This also shows up in the [[Memes/{{Pokemon}} memetic]] "Diggersby, tho?!" rant. The narrator praises Diggersby's Huge Power ability, which treats its Attack stat as doubled in combat. Diggersby has a poor Attack stat to begin with, so even with Huge Power it's not outstanding, and the rest of its stats are mediocre at best. Additionally, Huge Power is not unique to Diggersby. (It is a LethalJokeCharacter due to its ridiculously strong Earthquakes, but it is not some overwhelmingly strong monster.)
* ''[[VideoGame/{{Oddworld}} Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus]]'' gives us a variation, where a marquee advertisement tries to spin a flaw ''as a positive.'':
-->''[=SoulStorm=] Brew... twice the flavor... twice the bones... twice the price!''

* [[http://xkcd.com/641/ This]] ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'' strip, which provides the page image and is the TropeNamer. See also [[http://xkcd.com/463/ this one]] and [[http://xkcd.com/1096/ this one]].
* [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=974#comic This]] ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'' comic.
* ''Webcomic/{{Wondermark}}'' [[http://wondermark.com/870/ tries this marketing scheme]], with less-than-satisfactory results.

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* Bubs from ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' sells donuts shipped from a third-world country named Homemáde, so he could legally print "From Homemáde" on the box.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'' episode "Cookie Dough", Bloo gets carried away coming up with rhyming tag-lines for Madame Foster's home-made cookies, and ends up describing them as "The home-made concoction that's free of dioxins!" He then has to explain to the crowd [[ShownTheirWork what dioxins are]], which he eventually boils down to [[LaymansTerms "They're bad for you!"]].
* ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy'': After most of an episode of Eddy being hit by multiple terrible things because of a supposedly-cursed phone in "Sorry, Wrong Ed", one of his scams consists of selling rebranded [[BrandX Chunky Puffs]] cereal that is guaranteed to be "100% curse-free".
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': Dr. Nick advertises with the line "If I kill you, you don't pay!"