[[caption-width-right:316:[-''[[{{Fanservice}} "Do you like what thou dost see?"]]''-] [[CoversAlwaysLie she cooed...]]]]

->'''''"This ring, no other, is made by the Elves\\
Who'd pawn their own mother to get it themselves.'''\\
Ruler of creeper, mortal and scallop,\\
This is a sleeper that packs quite a wallop.\\
If broken or busted it cannot be remade.\\
If found, send to Sorhed. (The postage is prepaid.)"''
-->--Inscription on The Great Ring

An, and possibly ''the'', outrageous parody of Creator/JRRTolkien's ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'' written and published in 1969 by the staff of the Harvard University humor magazine, ''The Harvard Lampoon''. (The members of which, not coincidentally, would go on several years later to found ''The National Lampoon'' magazine.)

Produced during the first wave of Tolkien's popularity, when ''LOTR'' fandom was a [[NewAgeRetroHippie hallmark of the counterculture]], ''Bored'' draws a deliberate parallel to the contrast between ''LOTR'''s epic, almost academic, style and the bohemians and hippies who typified its fans at the time. In part ''BOTR'' accomplishes this by slavishly mimicking the ''form'' of the book, both in content and in physical layout -- the [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/BotR_650.jpg original]] paperback edition [[http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/gallery/bookcovers/pages/04.htm copied the design]] of the first authorized Tolkien paperbacks published in the United States, right down to the back-cover note warning of the unauthorized editions which had been previously published. However, draped over this superficially Tolkienian framework is an over-the-top and frequently hallucinogenic tale that twists every element of ''The Lord of the Rings'' into something ridiculous yet still recognizable.

The book manages to find and skewer all the high points of Tolkien's ''magnum opus'' with considerable alacrity. In the first few chapters we meet a bevy of under-impressive characters, including

* Dildo Bugger, finder of the Great Ring
* Goodgulf Greyteeth, a self-proclaimed "wizard" whose only mastery of magic is legerdemain
* Frito Bugger, nephew of Dildo
* Spam Gangree, his half-witted manservant
* Moxie and Pepsi Dingleberry, twin morons
* Arrowroot, the weak-chinned and bucktoothed ranger who is the heir to the throne of Twodor
** But he goes by many names.
* Bromosel, son of Benelux, Steward of Twodor
* Gimlet, son of Groin, a deformed dwarf
* Legolam, an acerbic elf

Together they make up a fellowship intended to see to the destruction of the Great Ring (of elvish design but manufactured by Sorhed under license), a fellowship which sets forth across the nations of Lower Middle Earth with the dark land of Fordor as its goal, bickering and sniping at each other all the way. Although no one in this story is anywhere close to competent, the fate of the world (or something) depends on their quest being successful.

In a sense, it is one continuous novel-length example of SophisticatedAsHell.
!!This book provides examples of:
* ActionGirl: Eorache of the Roi-Tanners sits firmly on the line dividing an example and an aversion of this trope.
* AffectionateParody: In a kind of "tough love" way.
* AllGermansAreNazis: The natives of the Plains of Roi-Tan are all German stereotypes ranging from Wagnerian opera to Nazis, sometimes mixing and matching elements.
* AlwaysChaoticEvil: The Narcs
* AmazonianBeauty: Eorache. Arrowroot takes one look at her beefy charms and falls hopelessly in love with her. She finds him annoying, but eventually they get hitched, mostly because Arrowroot becomes king of Twodor.
* AncestralWeapon: Krona, Arrowroot's sword
* ApocalypticLog: Tim Benzedrine's note to the boggies, in which he enters a drug flashback while writing
* ArborealAbode: The elves of Lornadoon live inside hollowed out dead trees.
* {{Arcadia}}: Subverted by The Stye, home of the Boggies. Anything Saruman and Wormtongue could do to this place would only be an improvement.
* ArtifactOfDoom: The Great Ring
* BeneathTheEarth: The dwarven realm of Doria
* BigBad: Sorhed
* BlackCloak: The Nozdrul
* BlackSpeech: The language of Fordor and Sorhed; parodied by being essentially doggerel constructed from 1960s pop cultural references
-->''[[GermanicEfficiency Grundig]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaupunkt blaupunkt]] [[{{BFG}} luger]] [[DanceSensation frug]]\\
[[DanceSensation Watusi]] snarf[[note]]This came out roughly a quarter-century before WesternAnimation/{{Thundercats}}[[/note]] [[BlackSpeech wazoo!]]''\\
''[[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Nixon]] [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirksen_Senate_Office_Building dirksen]] [[BlackSpeech nasahist]]\\
[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Rebozo Rebozo]] [[DanceSensation boogaloo]].''
* TheBore: Goddam.
* BrawnHilda: Eorache
* BriarPatching: Cornered by Nozdrul, Frito performs the entire Br'er Rabbit routine, knowing it's [[TheOldestTricksInTheBook the oldest trick in the book]]. Naturally, it works.
* BriefAccentImitation: The smitten Arrowroot to Eorache: "Ve going mit you."
* CampGay: Legolam
* TheCavalry: Subverted by the Riders of Roi-Tan, who ride bad-tempered sheep.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Tim Benzedrine
* CompositeCharacter: Eorech is most obviously a spoof of Eowyn, but she also fills the roles of Eomer by leading the Riders of Roi-Tan, and of Arwen by being Stomper's love interest.
* ContemptibleCover: The original paperback edition parodied the infamous "Hippie Edition" of ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings''
* TheCoronerDothProtestTooMuch:
** The death of the last king of Twodor -- in which he allegedly threw himself backwards onto several dozen knives and forks -- and the series of "suicides" in "imitation" of his method amongst the other nobles of Minas Troney.
** Benelux, the steward, leapt into a burning pyre after "ingeniously tying himself up".
* CosmopolitanCouncil: Pretty much averted, if not subverted, by Orlon's council at Riv'n'dell.
* CreepyLongFingers: Boggies.
* CrystalBall: The ''mallomar'', which turns out to be nothing more than a Magic8Ball with a holographic display
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: Used several times, such as:
-->Arrowroot looked with darkened face at these ruins of a once fair land. "Look at those ruins of a once fair land," he cried.
* DeusExMachina: Liberally employed for humor's sake. Gwahno the eagle is actually labeled "Deus Ex Machina Airlines".
* DirtyCoward: ''Everyone'', except, maybe, Eorache
* DiscreetDrinkDisposal: Frito tries to do this to get rid of his Orca-Cola in the inn. [[spoiler: The spy hiding in the pot plant takes it from him]].
* TheDitz: Moxie and Pepsi Dingleberry ("whom no one would trust with a burned-out match") are a pair of twin ditzes with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
* DoomyDoomsOfDoom
* {{Doorstopper}} Averted; for a book that manages to parody the whole of ''LOTR'', it's surprisingly slim.
* TheEeyore: Goddam
* ElegantWeaponForAMoreCivilizedAge: Subverted:
-->In his hand he carried an ancient and trustworthy weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi-automatic.
* ElvesVsDwarves: And how.
* TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt: Threatened result of Sorhed regaining the Great Ring.
* EvilTowerOfOminousness: The Eisentower, Chikken Noodul...
* ExtremeOmnivore: Boggies will eat just about anything if they are hungry, such as fake fruit, curtains, lampshades or dirt.
* FantasticRacism: Starts where Tolkien left off and runs with it -- everybody seems to hate everybody else in Lower Middle Earth.
* FantasyCounterpartCulture: Most obvious in the faux-German Roi-Tanners
* FantasyWorldMap: Wildly parodying the original map in ''LOTR''. Pop-up-ridden image [[http://boredoftherings.150m.com/bored_map.html here]].
* {{Fictionary}}: The samples seen of the various languages of Lower Middle Earth are generally assembled from the names of commercial products, public figures, pop-culture references and nonsense sounds.
* FinalBattle: Subverted; the Forces of Good are hungover and reduced to a handful by deserters, and the Forces of Evil flee and turn into pillars of garlic when the Ring is destroyed.
* ForbiddenZone: Fordor, Doria
* ForeignRemake: It was published in German as ''Der Herr der Augenringe'' (literally, "The Lord of the Rings Under Your Eyes," which may've been the funniest thing about it). The translation wasn't always idiomatic--for example, "A Mighty Fortress Is Our Dicky Dragon" should've come back as "Ein Feste Burg..." not "Ein Machtige Schloss..." (since the original hymn in German started the former way). The Finnish translation is ''Loru Sorbusten herrasta'' (Jingle of Lord of Sorbuses): Finnish ''sormus'' = ring; ''Sorbus'' is a brand of cheap bum wine. The translation is considered good, and Finnish Tolkien fans have adopted the parody as their own. One of the most clever translations is Saruman into ''Sivamat'' (a washing machine brand: an allusion of washing multi-coloured into white).
* FourthWallObserver: Bromosel
* FunctionalMagic: Thoroughly and enthusiastically averted. Anything presented as magic is usually just a lame trick or worse.
-->'''Goodgulf''': Insult not the White Wizard, for I have many powers. [[PickACard Here, pick a card. Any card.]]
* GiantFlyer: Gwahno the Giant Eagle
* GondorCallsForAid: Twodor called for aid, but no one wanted to give it.
* GotVolunteered: No-one actually wanted to be in the Fellowship.
* HalfHumanHybrid: Some creatures are implied to be such, and the prologue mentions a "halfling", which is defined as "half Boggie, half opossum".
** Moxie and Pepsi also somehow manage to get two of the Vee-Ates -- who are ''plants'' -- pregnant.
* HandSignals: Stomper uses them to ask Frito to meet him in the inn's bathroom. This results in half of the patrons watching him and trying to figure out the signals.
* HaveAGayOldTime: Played with when the party are attacked by a group of narcs, the leader of which is wielding a large faggot. You'd think it'd mean a bundle of wood, until the "faggot" cries out "You dieth, G.I!"
** Similarly:
--->"This is indeed a queer river," said Bromosel, as the water lapped at his thighs.
* HealingHands: Subverted by Arrowroot, who during the siege of Minas Troney shows up in blood-spattered surgical garb, and who appears to have killed Faraslax while "treating" him in order to get him out of the way.
* HeroicFantasy: Averted by possibly the first parody of the genre.
* HiddenElfVillage: Riv'n'dell; Lornadoon is literally hidden inside trees.
* {{Hobbits}}: Viciously satirized by the lazy, slovenly and generally disgusting Boggies.
* HollywoodTactics: Subtly lampshaded when Arrowroot stupidly (and drunkenly) suggests marching on Sorhed's overwhelmingly larger army after the siege of Twodor is over. Goodgulf can't believe anyone could be so cataclysmically stupid and tries to throttle him.
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Bromosel dies when he trips and impales himself on his absurdly pointed shoes.
* HookedUpAfterwards:
-->Of the ballhog and Schlob, little was heard either, but local gossips reported that wedding bells were only centuries away.
* HorseOfADifferentColour: The Nozdrul ride first pigs, then giant pelicans. The roi-tanners ride sheep.
* HurricaneOfPuns: The endless plant/vegetable puns that lace every sentence uttered by Birdseye, Lord of the Vee-Ates.
* IHaveManyNames: Stomper -- AKA "Arrowroot son of Arrowshirt, True Son of Arrowhead of Araplane" -- actually uses this phrase word-for-word; other characters also have many names, few of them complimentary.
* InsultToRocks:
-->Heavily ridged over the eyes and prone to rather poor posture, [the men of Whee] were often mistaken for Neanderthals, a common confusion that the latter deeply resented.
* IntellectualAnimal: The Black Beaver, others
* ISOStandardFantasySetting: Subverted, in the first parody thereof, by all manner of "foreign" elements and intrusions.
* {{Jerkass}}: Pretty much everyone.
* LadyMondegreen: Happy fun explosive toys arrive for Dildo's birthday party in crates labeled "with the elf-rune of a fairy whose name was something very much like 'Amy Surplus'." [[invoked]]
* LadyOfWar: Eorache
* LeftJustifiedFantasyMap: Parodied.
* LineInTheSand: As the Army of the West approaches the Gates of Fordor, many start to desert. Finally Arrowroot decides to shame them into being courageous.
-->'''Arrowroot''': "Peoples of the West! The battle before the Black Gate of Sorhed will be one of few against many; but the few are of pure heart and the many are of the filthy. Nevertheless, those of you who wish to cringe and run from the fight may do so to quicken our pace. Those who still ride with the King of Twodor will live forever in song and legend! The rest may go."
-->It is said that the dustcloud did not settle for many days after.
* LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters: A surprising number for so short a book.
* LookBehindYou: "Look! The Winged Victory of Samothrace!"
* TheLostWoods: The Evelyn Wood, once known -- in a happier time -- as the Nattily Wood.
* Magic8Ball: The Mallomar.
* MagicFromTechnology: If you define "technology" as "card tricks and con jobs".
** Three Rings of Power had to be recalled because they "tended to short out in the rain and fry one's fingers off".
* {{Mooks}}: The Narcs
* {{Mordor}}: Fordor
* MrAltDisney: Serutan, with his Dicky Dragon amusement park and merchandise. At one point in the past, Goodgulf was his business partner, but their relationship soured due to Serutan becoming more greedy (at least, [[UnreliableExpositor according to Goodgulf]]).
* MurderTheHypotenuse: Stomper to Faraslax
* MushroomSamba: During the boggies' visit with Tim Benzedrine and Hashberry.
* NarrationEcho: Does this, then lampshades it, near the beginning of the book.
--->They were among the most dubious-looking mushrooms Spam had ever seen, and, rather rudely, he said so.\\
"These are among the most dubious-lookin' mushrooms I'm ever a-seeing," he stated.
** Another early example.
-->Goodgulf fell silent, and a shadow seemed to pass over his face. "I would say more, but a shadow seems to have passed over my face."
* NarrativePoem: Numerous, often very witty, parodies of the original songs and poems.
* NoFourthWall: Not only are the characters aware they're in a book, they wish the reader would just hurry up and finish so they can get on with something -- ''anything'' -- else. [[spoiler: Even dying.]]
* NoMoreForMe: The party is camped at a crossroads and manages to avoid a bunch of dangerous encounters by sheer fools' luck, resulting in this:
-->Circling far overhead, unseen by the company, the leader of a band of black spy-crows peered through a pair of binoculars, cursed in the harsh tongue of his kind, and swore off grapes for the rest of his life.
* NonverbalMiscommunication: When the "tall, dark Ranger" tries to use HandSignals to tell Frito to meet him in the men's room in five minutes, several onlookers think he's trying to play a game of Charades and start calling out "Famous saying?" and "Sounds like!"
* OhAndXDies: Bromosel arrives at the Council of Orlon with a prophecy that states "You cash in your chips around page eighty-eight." [[spoiler:It's off by a few pages.]]
* OnlySaneMan: Frito. Not that that's saying much.
* OriginalFlavour: Rich Drushel's parodies of [[http://users.stargate.net/~drushel/b_scour.html The Scouring of the Shire]] and [[http://users.stargate.net/~drushel/b_app_a.html Appendix A]], done explicitly to extend ''Bored''.
* OurElvesAreBetter: Parodied -- wood elves are tacky low-lives who run tourist traps, and high elves are effectively white trash with delusions of grandeur.
* {{Parody}}: And how.
* ParodyMagicSpell: As evidenced by the page quote, there's quite a few of these.
-->"Hocus pocus, in loco parentis, Jackie Onassis, Dino Di Laurentis..."
* ParodyNames: Pick a character, nation or city from Tolkien, and you will find a parodic counterpart, such as Minas Troney for Minas Tirith.
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: Parodied by the lengths Goodgulf goes to while trying to open the gates to Doria, before noticing the doorknob...
* PerformerGuise: After Sorhed was defeated at the Battle of Brylopad, he and the Nine Nozdrul slipped out of the mopping-up cleverly disguised as a troupe of gypsy acrobatic dancers.
* PlantPerson: Lord Birdseye and the Vee-Ates.
* PopulationXAndCounting: The village of Whee has a welcoming sign announcing its population as 96 and still growing!" with 1004 and 328 each crossed out before it.
* PungeonMaster: Birdseye; more generally, the authors.
* PutOnABus: Birdseye and the Vee-Ates are conveniently disposed of off-screen.
* RedEyesTakeWarning: The Black Riders have "perfectly normal red glowing fires" where their eyes should be.
* RedundantParody: On one minor point. So, the Gimli parody here is "Gimlet, son of Groin", ha ha? Gimli's actual Tolkienian grandfather is named Gróin.
* RefugeInAudacity: One of the first parodies you read in the book is changing the name of Bilbo Baggins to ''Dildo Bugger!''
* RobeAndWizardHat: Both embodied and averted by Goodgulf, who frequently changes into radically different outfits -- like a Nehru jacket and bellbottoms.
* RousingSpeech: ''Utterly'' subverted; it causes the entire army to desert.
* RunningGag: Surprisingly, there are very few.
** Legolam and Gimlet's spats, which also mimic Legolas and Gimli's own rivalry.
** An extremely localized one is found on a page which lists other volumes in the Harvard Lampoon's Classic and Not-So-Classic Book series -- part of every title in the lists is replaced by "Matzoh".
* SaidBookism: PlayedForLaughs, like pretty much everything else.
-->Spam gagged, and his arm went limp. "Die," he suggested.
* SdrawkcabName: Numerous examples, although some -- like "Serutan" -- were simply lifted from other sources. In this case, a laxative.
* SecondHandStorytelling: Subverted by Goodgulf, who deliberately skips the stuff his listeners really want to hear -- like how he survived plunging into a chasm with a Ballhog.
* SiblingTeam: Both subverted and strangely embodied by Moxie and Pepsi who do not so much kick asses as act like them.
* SickbedSlaying: ''Strongly'' implied when a blood-spattered Stomper appears and explains that Farahslax died of his wounds despite his best efforts -- and despite being almost unwounded. Stomper says that it was "water-on-the-Brain" and that he "was forced to amputate".
* SimultaneousArcs
* SophisticatedAsHell: Numerous examples, most notably the overarching contrast between mimicking Tolkien's ''form'' while writing deliberately outrageous material.
* SpannerInTheWorks: Subverted by Goddam, who turns out to be precisely what Spam and Frito are looking for at the end.
* SpeakFriendAndEnter: Parodies the TropeNamer by having Goodgulf only consider using the doorknob on the gates to Doria after hours of futile guessing and spellcraft.
* SpiritualSuccessor: ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Lampoon%27s_Doon National Lampoon's Doon]]'' -- a parody of Frank Herbert's ''{{Literature/Dune}}''.
* SouvenirLand: Lornadoon
* SpoiledByTheFormat: Lampshaded repeatedly. [[invoked]]
* SupportingLeader: Parodied by Arrowroot.
* TaxonomicTermConfusion: There is an appearance by "six different phyla of giant insects". Insects, whatever their size, are a single ''class'' of phylum Arthropoda -- and you would think Harvard students would know that. On the other hand, these are [[HardOnSoftScience Harvard writing students.]]
* ThemeNaming: Some of the ParodyNames run along brief themes, such as Twodor and Fordor, and Moxie and Pepsi.
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: The general reaction of everybody in the book to most everything they encounter.
* ThouShaltNotKill: Spoofed in the prologue where, after the answer to "What have I got in my pocket?" is demonstrated to be a .38 pistol, the thought behind "pity stayed his hand" is explained as "It's a pity I've run out of bullets."
* TheTimeOfMyths: All but explicitly called that in the prologue, but judging from the pop culture references, not so much.
* TrailersAlwaysLie: On the flyleaf of the paperback is a passage allegedly from later in the book in which a beautiful, lusty elf maiden is about to seduce Frito. Naturally, it appears nowhere else.
* TrueCompanions: Subverted; nobody actually wanted to join, but were volunteered by other people who hated them.
* TruthSerum: Goodgulf's method for learning how Dildo got the Ring.
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: One minor character in the first chapter is described only as
-->...a stranger to the boggies of the Bag Eye, a stranger they had understandably overlooked because of his rather ordinary black cape, black chain mail, black mace, black dirk, and perfectly ordinary glowing red fires where his eyes should have been.
* UrbanSegregation: The rings of Minas Troney.
* VaguenessIsComing: Goodgulf tries to warn Dildo with a series of portentous statements, going from "Evil Ones are afoot in the lands" to "There is a dog in the manger." It takes several rounds of these, until Goodgulf is practically screaming "Doom is here!", before Dildo catches on.
* VolleyingInsults: Gimlet and Legolam frequently trade lame epithets.
-->"Elf-dog," hissed Gimlet, retrieving his beard.\\
"Pig of a dwarf," suggested Legolam.\\
* WeaponsGradeVocabulary: Goddam's war story.
* WeAreNotGoingThroughThatAgain: Frito, having returned to his digs at the end of the story, is visited a mysterious stranger who thinks he's the kind of person that takes quests. He slams the door, locks it and swallows the key.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: A number of plot threads are deliberately left hanging for comedic effect, such as Spam and Frito's escape from the lair of Schlob.
* WhenTreesAttack: Subverted by Lord Birdseye and the Vee-Ates, who are not trees but giant vegetables.
* WhoWritesThisCrap: "Observing this near impossible escape from certain death, Frito wondered how much longer the authors were going to get away with such tripe. He wasn't the only one."
* WithFriendsLikeThese: Pretty much everyone.
* YeGoodeOldeDays: Subverted by a world where pretty much everybody is some variety of scum and most of the animals are rabid.
* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Deliberately done for the sake of humor, and to skewer Tolkien's various archaic dialects.
* YouShallNotPass: Parodied; Goodgulf tries to hold a rope bridge, but the Fellowship [[spoiler:chops it down while he's on it]].