->''"From my cold dead hands!"''
-->-- '''Kino''' (after the author finally decides on a transformation catchphrase)

[[BlatantLies This work has nothing to do with]] ''LightNovel/KinosJourney''.

''Gakuen Kino'' is the story of Kino, an energetic high school student with a [[BigEater big appetite]], whose life is changed forever (maybe) after meeting a talking cell phone strap. The cell phone strap, Hermes, tells Kino that the Earth is under attack from enemies that take over humans, turning them into monsters--and it's up to Kino to defend the Earth from this demonic peril.

Kino is joined by a mysterious masked pervert who calls himself the Samoyed Mask, who [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial has absolutely nothing to do with Kino's handsome and chivalrous upperclassman, Shizu.]] A third character, the vengeance-obsessed Detective Wanwan[[note]]"wan wan" being Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound of a barking dog[[/note]], rounds out the trio--and he's [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial most definitely not]] Kino's StalkerWithACrush classmate Rikutarou Wanwan Inuyama.

Much parodying of the MagicalGirl genre ensues, as well as an unhealthy dose of GunPorn and [[BreakingTheFourthWall fourth-wall breaking.]]

Originally written as a joke by ''LightNovel/KinosJourney'' author Keiichi Sigawa, ''Gakuen Kino'' somehow managed to become a proper LightNovel series. Five books have currently been published.

!!''Gakuen Kino'' provides examples of the following tropes:

* AccidentalPervert: Shizu's transformation sequence has him branded as this.
* BigEater: It's gotten to the point that local restaurants with speed-eating competitions are issued warnings about Kino.
* ClarkKenting: Kino, Shizu, and Rikutarou.
* CovertPervert: [[spoiler: Samoyed Mask]] intentionally allowed part of the school to be destroyed so that when the time came to rebuild he modified the plans a little bit so that hidden compartments complete with peeping holes could be used to spy in the gymnasium. Toyed with [[spoiler: Detective Wanwan]] who would run to the peep holes every time [[spoiler: Samoyed Mask]] commented upon seeing Kino do something.
** Averted with Hermes at the pool, who jumped someplace [[spoiler: dark]] when Kino changed into her swimsuit. Kino completely misunderstood until he said [[spoiler: he jumped up to where she parts her hair]].
* DoggedNiceGuy or StalkerWithACrush: Rikutarou, who latches onto Kino almost immediately after transferring into the class.
* ForeignExchangeStudent: Inid
* GirlinessUpgrade: Kino while still pretty masculine, is pretty feminine compared to her canon counterpart complete with [[SailorFuku a girl's uniform]].
* GunPorn: UpToEleven. Looks like every time Kino or Detective Wanwan fight, they get new firearms described in loving detail by the narration.
%% * HotterAndSexier: Rather infamous for this.
* HyperspaceArsenal: [[spoiler: Kino]] has pulled an M80 out of a pouch no bigger than your fist.
* IgnoredConfession: [[spoiler: Samoyed Mask flat out admits to Kino that he is Shizu.]] Kino responds with gun fire and declares his joke 'NOT FUNNY!'
** [[spoiler: And a pair of Uzis, a P90, an assault rifle, and much much more.]]
* InteractiveNarrator: [[spoiler: Riku and Shizu become annoyed with the fact that Sigsawa can't keep up with their fight. They quickly turn on him. What follows is a battle of epic proportions! Or it would be if the pen was mightier than the sword. Don't worry, one of Sigsawa's colleagues writes the rest of the chapter.]]
* MeaningfulName: Rikutarou (Tarou=stereotypical boys' name in Japan) Wanwan (onomatopoeia for dog barks) Inuyama (Inu=Dog), who is the ''Gakuen Kino'' version of Riku the talking Samoyed from LightNovel/KinosJourney.
* MysteriousProtector: Samoyed Mask is a parody of the trope. His attempts to protect Kino almost always end up messing things up for her.
* NeverMessWithGranny: Kino's grandma kicks serious ass!
* NewTransferStudent: Rikutarou, who transfers just a week before summer vacation starts.
* {{Otaku}}: Parodied with Inid, a ForeignExchangeStudent from America who can only speak English, except for several hilariously inappropriate catchphrases she has learned from anime.
* ParryingBullets: Samoyed Mask can deflect bullets with his katana. [[spoiler: Not that it matters. See WhyWontYouDie below]]
* {{Revenge}}: Detective Wanwan's main motivation for wanting to kill Shizu. Exactly what he wants to avenge is not yet clear.
* SleepModeSize: [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] by Chako-sensei, who is normally a teacher in her 20s and becomes the twelve-year old grenade girl Ti when monsters appear.
* TeethClenchedTeamwork: The three heroes don't really get along, despite being on the same side.
* TransformationSequence: [[ParodiedTrope Parodied]] for all it's worth. The narration lampshades Kino's disappearing clothes and the ensuing lightshow. Meanwhile, Shizu parodies the trope by having to manually take off ''all'' of his clothing and put on his Samoyed Mask outfit piece by piece.
* TransformationTrinket: Kino's model gun.
* UnexplainedRecovery: [[spoiler: Sigsawa killed himself during an incident of breaking the fourth wall. Somehow, he was still able to write the rest of the series.]]
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Shizu never goes anywhere without his [[KatanasAreJustBetter katana]], but no one, not even police officers who stop him for a spot check, ever comments on it.
** Same can be said for Kino, who's model gun is of little interest to anyone. That pouch she always keeps on her belt though.)
* WhyWontYouDie: [[spoiler: Shizu]], who was shot at point blank range by both Riku and Kino on various occasions. Sometimes, at the same time.
** In his defense, he keeps a lot of tomatoes on him.