Just For Fun / Tom Swifty

This is a catalog of Tom Swifties.

1. "I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.
2. "Who discovered radium?" asked Marie, curiously.
3. "I've lost the rights to that gold mine," Tom exclaimed.
4. "I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.
5. "They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
6. Or similarly: "We have to amputate," Tom said disarmingly.
7. "Word to the wise: don't pet the lions," Tom said offhandedly.
8. "Why is it so dark in here?" Tom said delightedly.
9. "Mush!" Tom said huskily.
10. "I'm coming!" Tom ejaculated.
11. "Me, drown in Egypt? It'll never happen!" exclaimed Tom, deep in denial.
12. "I owe you £20," said Tom, with a score to settle.
13. "I have to alert the town!" Tom cried.
14. "I've dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, Crest-fallen.
15. "We're out of toothpaste," said Tom, Aim-lessly.
16. "I never sharpen pencils," Tom said pointlessly.
17. "There's no air in your tires," Tom said flatly.
18. "I tore up all my Valentines", said Tom halfheartedly.
19. "Now where did I leave the deed to that land?" Tom muttered distractedly.
20. "That river is full of nuclear waste!" Tom said glowingly.
21. "Did anyone see where I left my pants?" Tom asked embarrassedly.
22. "Did you walk right up to the victim and shoot him?" Tom asked, point-blank.
23. "I sure did!" the suspect shot back.
24. "I'm trapped in a penny!" Tom said, incensed.
25. "Oh no, I've become an undead monster!" said Tom, aghast.
26. "I'm trying to read Darwin's Voyage of the Beagle", Tom said doggedly.
27. "Okay, okay; just one more autograph," Tom said resignedly.
28. "Take the prisoner downstairs with you," Tom said condescendingly.
29. "I manufacture table tops," said Tom counterproductively.
30. "My knee keeps twitching," Tom said reflexively.
31. "It's the outside of a tree!" Tom barked.
32. "That looks like it came from the chemistry lab," Tom retorted.
33. "Terpsichore, Erato, Calliope..." Tom mused.
34. "Get into the back of the boat," Tom said sternly.
35. "A triangle has three, a square has four, a pentagon has five," Tom sighed.
36. "You could plant box, or cypress, or maybe holly," Tom hedged.
37. "Nnnn," Tom said forensically.^note Four-"n"s-ically. Geddit?
38. "I make sure to have a diet rich in iron," Tom said ferociously.
39. "I just ate a bunch of lions," said Tom, full of pride.
40. "The Red Sox didn't need the Babe", said Tom, ruthlessly.
41. "This wine's far too dry", Tom said bitterly.
42. "Stop playing with that Freeze Ray", Tom said frostily.
43. "Do I look like a mouse to you?", Tom squeaked.
44. "We've taken over the government!", Tom cooed.
45. "I just inhaled my fishing lure!", said Tom with bated breath.
46. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," said Tom rhetorically ^note Gone with the Wind.
47. "No, I won't play Tic-Tac-Toe with you," said Tom crossly.
48. "Stop needling me," said Tom pointedly.
49. "Fearless and Red are among my favorite albums," said Tom Swiftly.
50. "That's the dog star," said Tom seriously.
51. "Pass me a joint," said Tom bluntly.
52. "I can't find the French legation," Tom said disconsolately.
53. "The harbor markers are burning!" Tom yelled flamboyantly.
54. "You got a nice butt, lady," Tom said cheekily.
55. "The mosquitos won't get us in here," Tom said intently.
56. "That martial artist looks a bit glum," Tom said sadly.
57. "What a wonderful side street!", Tom said finally.
58. "I think we should give the robot a masculine or feminine personality.", Tom engendered.
59. "My lamp just went out!" Tom glowered.
60. "Maybe we could try playing dice" Tom hazarded.
61. "Get into this sack of potatoes, Richard", Tom dictated.
62. "Keep the furnace going!", Tom bellowed.
63. "Time to get moving!", Tom said ecstatically.
64. "I'm feeling a bit devilish." Tom said impishly.
65. "I'm going to go play the organ," Tom piped up.
66. "Let's go explore tombs!" Tom said cryptically.
67. "I need to replace my mower", said Tom forlornly.
68. "My favourite music show's on!" cried Tom with abandon.
69. "I'm the plumber," he said with a flush.
70. "I can't believe I tore another pillow!", Tom said, feeling down.
71. "I didn't do my math homework," said Tom, nonplussed.
72. "Talking through this sieve makes me sound weird," Tom strained to say.
73. "I need to revive the cookware", Tom said, deadpan.
74. "I got the bomb to countdown again", Tom refused to say.
75. "Glad I didn't get another text message requesting my credit card info today", Tom said, without context.
76. "I don't know where I put my list of arguments against", Tom said, missing context.
77. "I think Lee acted alone", Tom said, feeling justly attacked.
78. "Leave them to germinate", Tom proceeded.
79. "Well, I thought it was kind of nice being a girl for a while", Tom said dismissively.
80. "The cooking implements were haunted," Tom wrote in cursive.

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