Funny / World's Greatest Dad

• After one of Lance's students delivers a lengthy and passionate, if crude, poem.
  Lance: Thank you for that... Would anyone else care to share their haiku?
• The teacher handing another teacher some money after they witness Lance and Claire making out.
• Lance's neighbor comments on Kyle's all around awful anti-social behavior in a rather blunt fashion.
  Bonnie: That's your son? I thought he was a zombie.
  Lance: I wish. I like zombies.