Funny / Ukridge

• In the story "The Long Arm of Looney Coote", Ukridge wants to help an old school friend, "Boko" Lawlor, who is running for parliament. The narrator, Jimmy Corcoran goes to a meeting in support of Lawlor’s candidature, and describes the speaker:
  The principle on which chairmen at these meetings are selected is perhaps too familiar to require recording here at length, but in case some of my readers are not acquainted with the workings of political machines, I may say that no one under the age of eighty-five is eligible and the preference is given to those with adenoids. For Boko Lawlor the authorities had extended themselves and picked a champion of his class. In addition to adenoids, the Right Hon. the Marquess of Cricklewood had - or seemed to have - a potato of the maximum size and hotness in his mouth, and he had learned his elocution in one of those correspondence schools which teach it by mail. I caught his first sentence—that he would only detain us a moment—but for fifteen minutes after that he baffled me completely. That he was still speaking I could tell by the way his Adam’s apple wiggled, but what he was saying I could not even guess.