* Gaz's striptease for Jonny. The latter's face is ''priceless''.
* "Women don't cheat on me. I'm just so pretty."
* "We got our women pregnant at the same time! We've got telepathic testicles!"
* Jonny deciding he wants to name his first daughter Ferrari [[ComicBook/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch Sabrina]] [[Music/BritneySpears Britney]].
* Jonny's drunken speech at the end of "Ugly Babies", after having seemingly accepted that Janet might be pregnant:
--> '''Jonny:''' ''(dramatically)'' My daughter will want for nothing. She'll have dollies-a-plenty. And bears but [[MonsterClown no clowns, they scare me]]. And on a perfect summer's eve, when the sun dances like... Michael Flatley... after our dinner of spaghetti hoops, we shall run like Billy-ho himself, down to a sea so calm it would make Des Lynam look like a big, scary wolfman. [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming She will be the most cherished little girl in the whole world]]. [[EmbarrassingFirstName My little Ferrari]].
** And then it's wonderfully subverted:
--> '''Janet:''' ...Jonny, I'm not pregnant.
--> '''Jonny:''' ''(relieved)'' [[PrecisionFStrike Oh, thank fuck for that]]!
* Flo's obsession with the word "valve".
* Munch. "Hiyaaaaaaaa!"
* Louise gets a card from a secret admirer, and she sniffs it in an attempt to get a clue as to who sent it.
--> '''Louise:''' ''(thoughtfully)'' Hmmmmm... [[TheDitz Who do I know who smells of paper]]?
* "...It's barrel wash, Gaz."
* Pretty much the entirety of "When Janet Met Jonny". Especially "The Biscuit Rap".
** Then there's this squick-worthy line (from an earlier song) courtesy of Jonny:
--> '''Jonny:''' I've no need for a woman, when Iíve got [[ADateWithRosiePalms my left hand]]/Just a handy tub of Vaseline and [[BrainBleach a picture of my gran]].
* Following Gaz and Donna's (first) break-up due to the former sleeping with Janet, the two of them have to pose as Jonny and Janet so the latter couple can get married (ItMakesSenseInContext). Cue Donna-as-Janet's original wedding vow to Gaz-as-Jonny:
--> '''Donna:''' ''(completely deadpan and straight-faced)'' My darling husband-to-be. Ever since you shagged my best friend and got her up the duff, I can think of no better way I'd rather spend my life than with a ''bastard'' like you.
--> ''(Cue the registar looking on in disbelief)''
--> '''Janet:''' ''(in labour)'' How the hell does a baby's head come out of something so small?!
--> '''Jonny:''' Small? You think a lot of yourself.
--> '''Louise:''' You must know all about prostitution, Donna, what with your mum being a whore.
--> '''Donna:''' My mum wasn't a whore! She just had sex with men... for... money...
* Louise's recorded lines in "When Jonny Met Sharky", as recorded by Arthur using a BadassBaritone with NoIndoorVoice (and plenty of [[DramaticPause dramatic pauses]]).
--> ''I am the god... of HELLFIRE.''
--> ''I have often had a can of Dr. Pepper... removed from my anus.''
* Gaz's naked balloon dance. That is all.
* "I heard the sound of tumbling biscuits!"
* The song Gaz sings every night before he sleeps so not to dream about [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes sheep]]. "Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep. What do we do before we sleep? We bring in all the sheep."
* "I'm a bastion of knowledge. Look at me bastioning." ''(followed by pricless "clenched fists" gesture)''
* When Janet gives up smoking, and Jonny complains to Gaz about it, Gaz compares it to Jonny's obsession with desiccated coconut. Jonny immediately shouts "have you got any?!?!"