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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
'''Tugg:'' I got it. Yeah. Damien gave it to me, remember?\\
to:
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** The dialogue in the FakeActionPrologue which is so cheesy it's a wonder the book became a movie.
** In the Director's Cut, the extended scene of them walking through the jungle sees Kirk trying to diplomatically get Tugg to let him look at the map, which quickly gives way to insults that Tugg is too dense to get.
--->'''Kirk:''' How's it goin' with that map, Chief?\\
'''Tugg:''' Huh?\\
'''Kirk:''' Can I have a look at it?\\
'''Tugg:'' I got it. Yeah. Damien gave it to me, remember?\\
'''Kirk:''' Yeah, but he gave it to you for us.\\
'''Tugg:''' Uh-Huh. Yeah.\\
'''Kirk:''' Okay.\\
'''Tugg:''' I got it.\\
'''Kirk:''' You got it upside down.\\
'''Tugg:''' Thank you.\\
'''Kirk:''' Letters go one way and the numbers another. I'm just. Dude, I'm tryin'. I got your back man.\\
'''Tug:''' Well I-I'm cool, alright?\\
'''Kirk:''' You are cool?\\
'''Tugg:''' Yeah, but...\\
'''Kirk:''' Is your character dyslectic?\\
'''Tugg:''' No, the character is not dyslec...\\
'''Kirk:''' So you a cartographer!
** Then when Tugg dismisses him by telling everyone to take a break, we get this:
--->'''Kirk:''' Alright, that's lunch. Coming back to the same scene afterwards: lost in the Goddamn jungle with Captain Simple Jack.
--->'''Kirk:''' How's it goin' with that map, Chief?\\
'''Tugg:''' Huh?\\
'''Kirk:''' Can I have a look at it?\\
'''Tugg:'' I got it. Yeah. Damien gave it to me, remember?\\
'''Kirk:''' Yeah, but he gave it to you for us.\\
'''Tugg:''' Uh-Huh. Yeah.\\
'''Kirk:''' Okay.\\
'''Tugg:''' I got it.\\
'''Kirk:''' You got it upside down.\\
'''Tugg:''' Thank you.\\
'''Kirk:''' Letters go one way and the numbers another. I'm just. Dude, I'm tryin'. I got your back man.\\
'''Tug:''' Well I-I'm cool, alright?\\
'''Kirk:''' You are cool?\\
'''Tugg:''' Yeah, but...\\
'''Kirk:''' Is your character dyslectic?\\
'''Tugg:''' No, the character is not dyslec...\\
'''Kirk:''' So you a cartographer!
** Then when Tugg dismisses him by telling everyone to take a break, we get this:
--->'''Kirk:''' Alright, that's lunch. Coming back to the same scene afterwards: lost in the Goddamn jungle with Captain Simple Jack.
Deleted line(s) 144 (click to see context) :
* The dialogue in the FakeActionPrologue which is so cheesy it's a wonder the book became a movie.
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Added DiffLines:
** Cut to Peck, [[AdmiringTheAbomination clearly impressed and taking mental notes.]]
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Changed line(s) 150 (click to see context) from:
** It’s easy to miss, but when Kirk is about to announce the winner all the nominees are pictured behind him, and to the upper left we see that Creator/TomHanks is nominated for what appears to be a very Oscar-baity movie where he playes a wheelchair-bound athlete.
to:
** It’s It's easy to miss, but when Kirk is about to announce the winner all the nominees are pictured behind him, and to the upper left we see that Creator/TomHanks is nominated for what appears to be a very Oscar-baity movie where he playes plays a wheelchair-bound athlete.
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Added DiffLines:
** It’s easy to miss, but when Kirk is about to announce the winner all the nominees are pictured behind him, and to the upper left we see that Creator/TomHanks is nominated for what appears to be a very Oscar-baity movie where he playes a wheelchair-bound athlete.
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Changed line(s) 128 (click to see context) from:
'''Kirk:''' That shit ain't funny.
to:
'''Kirk:''' That shit ain't funny.\\
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Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Kirk''': Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
to:
Changed line(s) 28,41 (click to see context) from:
'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
--->'''Kirk:''' Damn!
--->'''Tugg:''' In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb.
--->'''Kirk:''' To be a moron.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:''' To be moronical.
--->'''Tugg:''' Exactly, to be a moron.
--->'''Kirk:''' An imbecile.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:''' Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived.
--->'''Tugg:''' (''pause'') When I was playing the character.
--->'''Kirk:''' When you was the character.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as Jack. Definitely.
--->'''Kirk:''' Jack. Stupid-ass Jack.
--->'''Kirk:''' Damn!
--->'''Tugg:''' In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb.
--->'''Kirk:''' To be a moron.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:''' To be moronical.
--->'''Tugg:''' Exactly, to be a moron.
--->'''Kirk:''' An imbecile.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:''' Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived.
--->'''Tugg:''' (''pause'') When I was playing the character.
--->'''Kirk:''' When you was the character.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as Jack. Definitely.
--->'''Kirk:''' Jack. Stupid-ass Jack.
to:
'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
--->'''Kirk:''' Damn!
--->'''Tugg:'''retarded.\\
'''Kirk:''' Damn!\\
'''Tugg:''' In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid ordumb.
--->'''Kirk:'''dumb.\\
'''Kirk:''' To be amoron.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:'''moron\\
'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\\
'''Kirk:''' To bemoronical.
--->'''Tugg:'''moronical.\\
'''Tugg:''' Exactly, to be amoron.
--->'''Kirk:'''moron.\\
'''Kirk:''' Animbecile.
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:'''imbecile.\\
'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\\
'''Kirk:''' Like the dumbest motherfucker that everlived.
--->'''Tugg:'''lived.\\
'''Tugg:''' (''pause'') When I was playing thecharacter.
--->'''Kirk:'''character.\\
'''Kirk:''' When you was thecharacter.
--->'''Tugg:'''character.\\
'''Tugg:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as Jack.Definitely.
--->'''Kirk:'''Definitely.\\
'''Kirk:''' Jack. Stupid-ass Jack.
--->'''Kirk:''' Damn!
--->'''Tugg:'''
'''Kirk:''' Damn!\\
'''Tugg:''' In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' To be a
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\\
'''Kirk:''' To be
--->'''Tugg:'''
'''Tugg:''' Exactly, to be a
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' An
--->'''Tugg:''' Yeah!
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\\
'''Kirk:''' Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever
--->'''Tugg:'''
'''Tugg:''' (''pause'') When I was playing the
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' When you was the
--->'''Tugg:'''
'''Tugg:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as Jack.
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' Jack. Stupid-ass Jack.
Changed line(s) 45,47 (click to see context) from:
--->''(Alpa and Lazarus watches Tugg perform a scene at gunpoint)''
--->'''Alpa:''' Damn! I thought the movie was bad!
--->'''Kirk:''' To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect.
--->'''Alpa:''' Damn! I thought the movie was bad!
--->'''Kirk:''' To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect.
to:
--->''(Alpa and Lazarus watches Tugg perform a scene at gunpoint)''
--->'''Alpa:'''gunpoint)''\\
'''Alpa:''' Damn! I thought the movie wasbad!
--->'''Kirk:'''bad!\\
'''Kirk:''' To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect.
--->'''Alpa:'''
'''Alpa:''' Damn! I thought the movie was
--->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect.
Changed line(s) 49,50 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tugg''': I killed one, Rick...the thing I love most in the world.
-->'''Rick Peck''': A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
-->'''Rick Peck''': A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
to:
-->'''Rick Peck''':
'''Rick Peck:''' A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
Changed line(s) 54,56 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jeff:''' (As he chases the bat) No! No, that's my jelly beans! (Falls to the ground) No, shit...!
-->'''Alpa:''' Yo man, I got a Bust A Nut.
-->'''Jeff:''' ''You go to Hell!!''
-->'''Alpa:''' Yo man, I got a Bust A Nut.
-->'''Jeff:''' ''You go to Hell!!''
to:
-->'''Jeff:''' (As he chases the bat) No! No, that's my jelly beans! (Falls to the ground) No, shit...!
-->'''Alpa:'''!\\
'''Alpa:''' Yo man, I got a Bust ANut.
-->'''Jeff:'''Nut.\\
'''Jeff:''' ''You go to Hell!!''
-->'''Alpa:'''
'''Alpa:''' Yo man, I got a Bust A
-->'''Jeff:'''
'''Jeff:''' ''You go to Hell!!''
Changed line(s) 59,60 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tugg (in ''Simple Jack'' footage)''': You ma-ma-ma ma-ma-ma-ma-make me happy!
-->'''Maria''': But now the question is, can Speedman ma-ma-make audiences happy?
-->'''Maria''': But now the question is, can Speedman ma-ma-make audiences happy?
to:
-->'''Tugg (in ''Simple Jack'' footage)''': footage):''' You ma-ma-ma ma-ma-ma-ma-make me happy!
-->'''Maria''':happy!\\
'''Maria:''' But now the question is, can Speedman ma-ma-make audiences happy?
-->'''Maria''':
'''Maria:''' But now the question is, can Speedman ma-ma-make audiences happy?
Changed line(s) 62,64 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Tyra Banks:''' You have no real family. You're on the wrong side of forty, you're childless and alone. Someone close to you said "One more flop, and it's ''over''."
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?]]
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?]]
to:
--->'''Tyra Banks:''' You have no real family. You're on the wrong side of forty, you're childless and alone. Someone close to you said "One more flop, and it's ''over''."
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Tugg"\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?]]
--->''({{Beat}})''
--->'''Tugg
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?]]
Changed line(s) 107 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Where ever you are!\\
to:
--->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Where ever Wherever you are!\\
Changed line(s) 112,117 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kirk''': Now you gonna focus up, motherfucker, and say it! "It's me, Tugg!"
-->'''Tugg''': It's me, Tugg.
-->'''Kirk''': That's right! Now Tugg who?!
-->'''Tugg''': Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?
-->'''Kirk''': Me?! '''I KNOW WHO I AM'''! I'm a dude playin' the dude disguised as another dude! You a dude that don't know what dude he is!
-->'''Tugg''': Or are you the dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is by playing other dudes?
-->'''Tugg''': It's me, Tugg.
-->'''Kirk''': That's right! Now Tugg who?!
-->'''Tugg''': Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?
-->'''Kirk''': Me?! '''I KNOW WHO I AM'''! I'm a dude playin' the dude disguised as another dude! You a dude that don't know what dude he is!
-->'''Tugg''': Or are you the dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is by playing other dudes?
to:
-->'''Tugg''':
'''Tugg:''' It's me,
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' That's right! Now Tugg
-->'''Tugg''':
'''Tugg:''' Tugg who? I don't know. Who are
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' Me?! '''I KNOW WHO I AM'''! I'm a dude playin' the dude disguised as another dude! You a dude that don't know what dude he
-->'''Tugg''':
'''Tugg:''' Or are you the dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is by playing other dudes?
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Changed line(s) 23,24 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Tugg''': We're supposed to be a unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
to:
--->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' ''Suck'' my unit.
Changed line(s) 26,28 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Tugg:''' There were times while I was doing ''Jack'' where I felt...
--->[pause]
--->'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
--->[pause]
--->'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
to:
--->'''Tugg:''' There were times while I was doing ''Jack'' where I felt...
--->[pause]
--->'''Tugg:''' ...felt...\\
[pause]\\
'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
--->[pause]
--->'''Tugg:''' ...
[pause]\\
'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
Changed line(s) 78,85 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Les:''' You paying attention? I'm talking... G-5, Pecker! That's how you can roll. No more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boy! Oh yeah! Playa! Playa! Big dick playa!
-->'''Rob:''' Swinging past your knees!
-->'''Les:''' Big dick, baby! ''(Turns off music)'' Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.
-->'''Peck:''' LetMeGetThisStraight You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G-5?
-->'''Les:''' [[BluntYes Yes]].
-->'''Peck:''' ''({{Beat}})'' [[DoubleTake A G-5 airplane?]]
-->'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...'' ''(Turns music back on)''
-->'''Rob:''' Yeah! Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! Whoooaaa!
-->'''Rob:''' Swinging past your knees!
-->'''Les:''' Big dick, baby! ''(Turns off music)'' Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.
-->'''Peck:''' LetMeGetThisStraight You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G-5?
-->'''Les:''' [[BluntYes Yes]].
-->'''Peck:''' ''({{Beat}})'' [[DoubleTake A G-5 airplane?]]
-->'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...'' ''(Turns music back on)''
-->'''Rob:''' Yeah! Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! Whoooaaa!
to:
-->'''Rob:'''
'''Rob:''' Swinging past your
-->'''Les:'''
'''Les:''' Big dick, baby! ''(Turns off music)'' Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes
-->'''Peck:'''
'''Peck:''' LetMeGetThisStraight You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a
-->'''Les:'''
'''Les:''' [[BluntYes
-->'''Peck:'''
'''Peck:''' ''({{Beat}})'' [[DoubleTake A G-5
-->'''Les:'''
'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...'' ''(Turns music back
-->'''Rob:'''
'''Rob:''' Yeah! Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! Whoooaaa!
Changed line(s) 87,90 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kevin:''' Hey Jeff, what are you doing?
-->'''Jeff:''' FUCKING! Nothing, man, it's jelly, I'm eating Jelly Beans!
-->'''Kevin:''' Ohhh..Wow I love Jelly Beans, can I have..?
-->'''Jeff:''' NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING JELLY BEANS!! They're mine. You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't have his Jelly Beans? Boundaries, man, fuck.
-->'''Jeff:''' FUCKING! Nothing, man, it's jelly, I'm eating Jelly Beans!
-->'''Kevin:''' Ohhh..Wow I love Jelly Beans, can I have..?
-->'''Jeff:''' NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING JELLY BEANS!! They're mine. You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't have his Jelly Beans? Boundaries, man, fuck.
to:
-->'''Kevin:''' Hey Jeff, what are you doing?
-->'''Jeff:'''doing?\\
'''Jeff:''' FUCKING! Nothing, man, it's jelly, I'm eating JellyBeans!
-->'''Kevin:'''Beans!\\
'''Kevin:''' Ohhh..Wow I love Jelly Beans, can I have..?
-->'''Jeff:'''?\\
'''Jeff:''' NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING JELLY BEANS!! They're mine. You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't have his Jelly Beans? Boundaries, man, fuck.
-->'''Jeff:'''
'''Jeff:''' FUCKING! Nothing, man, it's jelly, I'm eating Jelly
-->'''Kevin:'''
'''Kevin:''' Ohhh..Wow I love Jelly Beans, can I have..
-->'''Jeff:'''
'''Jeff:''' NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING JELLY BEANS!! They're mine. You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't have his Jelly Beans? Boundaries, man, fuck.
Changed line(s) 95,96 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kevin:''' Jeff, you're just gonna have to tough it out.
-->'''Jeff:''' '''''Your mother's a cankerous whore!!!''''' [{{Beat}}] [[MoodWhiplash Hey, remember that time I called your mother a cankerous whore? I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.]]
-->'''Jeff:''' '''''Your mother's a cankerous whore!!!''''' [{{Beat}}] [[MoodWhiplash Hey, remember that time I called your mother a cankerous whore? I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.]]
to:
-->'''Kevin:''' Jeff, you're just gonna have to tough it out.
-->'''Jeff:'''out.\\
'''Jeff:''' '''''Your mother's a cankerous whore!!!''''' [{{Beat}}] [[MoodWhiplash Hey, rememberthat time way back when I called said your mother was a cankerous whore? I'm sorry. I didn't did not mean that.]]
-->'''Jeff:'''
'''Jeff:''' '''''Your mother's a cankerous whore!!!''''' [{{Beat}}] [[MoodWhiplash Hey, remember
Changed line(s) 98,100 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jeff:''' Alpa, if you untie me I will literally suck your dick right now.
-->'''Alpa:''' I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy!
-->'''Jeff:''' [[UnusualEuphemism I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.]] Get it over here, buddy, let's do this.
-->'''Alpa:''' I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy!
-->'''Jeff:''' [[UnusualEuphemism I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.]] Get it over here, buddy, let's do this.
to:
-->'''Alpa:'''
'''Alpa:''' I told you, for the last time, I love the
-->'''Jeff:'''
'''Jeff:''' [[UnusualEuphemism I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.]] Get it over here, buddy, let's do this.
Changed line(s) 104 (click to see context) from:
** And before that, [[spoiler:Cockburn's]] RousingSpeech and BlasphemousBoast ("The chopper is God! And I am Jesus Christ, His son! And you are my chosen disciples!") is funny in a BlackComedy sort of way, considering [[LudicrousGibs what happens to him]] IMMEDIATELY afterward...
to:
** And before that, [[spoiler:Cockburn's]] Cockburn's RousingSpeech and BlasphemousBoast ("The chopper is God! And I am Jesus Christ, His son! And you are my chosen disciples!") is funny in a BlackComedy sort of way, considering [[LudicrousGibs what happens to him]] IMMEDIATELY afterward...
Changed line(s) 107,108 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Where ever you are!
-->'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
-->'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
to:
-->'''Kirk:'''
'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Scout''': They have no fear of death.
to:
Changed line(s) 120,121 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Tugg''': I'm a rooster illusion.
---> '''Kevin''': (''{{Beat}}''). [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it.]]
---> '''Kevin''': (''{{Beat}}''). [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it.]]
to:
---> '''Kevin''':
'''Kevin:''' (''{{Beat}}''). [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it.]]
Changed line(s) 125,130 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Alpa''': Why am I in this movie? Maybe it's because I knew I had to represent. They had one good role for a black man, and they gave it to Film/CrocodileDundee!
-->'''Kirk''': (''[[BerserkButton stops smiling]]'') Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.
-->'''Alpa''': I just wanna throw another shrimp on your barbie.
-->'''Kirk''': That shit ain't funny.
-->'''Alpa''': I'm just messin' with you, Film/KangarooJack. [[Film/EvilAngels I'm so sorry a dingo ate your baby!]]
-->'''Kirk''': Y'know, that's a true story? Lady lost her kid. You 'bout to cross some fuckin' lines!
-->'''Kirk''': (''[[BerserkButton stops smiling]]'') Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.
-->'''Alpa''': I just wanna throw another shrimp on your barbie.
-->'''Kirk''': That shit ain't funny.
-->'''Alpa''': I'm just messin' with you, Film/KangarooJack. [[Film/EvilAngels I'm so sorry a dingo ate your baby!]]
-->'''Kirk''': Y'know, that's a true story? Lady lost her kid. You 'bout to cross some fuckin' lines!
to:
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' (''[[BerserkButton stops smiling]]'') Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national
-->'''Alpa''':
'''Alpa:''' I just wanna throw another shrimp on your
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' That shit ain't funny.
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' Y'know, that's a true story? Lady lost her kid. You 'bout to cross some fuckin' lines!
Changed line(s) 133,134 (click to see context) from:
* [[spoiler:[[DeusExMachina Peck saving the day]] by delivering a [=TiVo=] as promised. The way he escapes by running unnaturally quickly away is nothing short of hilarious.]]
-->'''Sandusky''': [[FlatWhat What the fuck?]]
-->'''Sandusky''': [[FlatWhat What the fuck?]]
to:
* [[spoiler:[[DeusExMachina [[DeusExMachina Peck saving the day]] by delivering a [=TiVo=] as promised. The way he escapes by running unnaturally quickly away is nothing short of hilarious.]]
-->'''Sandusky''':hilarious.
-->'''Sandusky:''' [[FlatWhat What the fuck?]]
-->'''Sandusky''':
-->'''Sandusky:''' [[FlatWhat What the fuck?]]
Changed line(s) 137 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Grossman''': And who here is the key grip?\\
to:
Changed line(s) 147,149 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kirk''': Cover me!
-->'''Kevin''': How do we cover him?
* At the end of the movie, when [[spoiler: Tugg wins the "Best Actor" Oscar]], the look on Creator/JonVoight's face (and what he's obviously saying under the crowd noise) is a gem.
-->'''Kevin''': How do we cover him?
* At the end of the movie, when [[spoiler: Tugg wins the "Best Actor" Oscar]], the look on Creator/JonVoight's face (and what he's obviously saying under the crowd noise) is a gem.
to:
-->'''Kevin''':
'''Kevin:''' How do we cover him?
* At the end of the movie, when
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* The opening scene is all kinds of glamourized Vietnam War movie levels of epic... Until Tugg has trouble working up tears during the emotional bit, and Kirk is ''over''-emoting, at which Tugg breaks character and asks for some direction, causing unmitigated awkwardness as the scene keeps trying to continue properly: The camera isn't even rolling anymore, a boom mic drifts into view breaking Tugg's concentration, the supporting cast start slacking off in the helicopter rig in the background, Alpa takes a call on his cell, Jeff gets uncomfortable with his stunt harness, Kirk storms off to pee, and finally [[https://youtu.be/Mhu2Ij0rWCQ Cody blows the spectacular napalm effects way too early.]]
to:
* The opening scene is all kinds of glamourized Vietnam War movie levels of epic... Until Tugg has trouble working up tears during the emotional bit, and Kirk is ''over''-emoting, at which Tugg breaks character and asks for some direction, causing unmitigated awkwardness as the scene keeps trying to continue properly: The camera isn't even rolling anymore, a boom mic drifts into view breaking Tugg's concentration, the supporting cast start slacking off in the helicopter rig in the background, Alpa takes a call on his cell, Jeff gets uncomfortable with his stunt harness, Kirk storms off to pee, and finally [[https://youtu.be/Mhu2Ij0rWCQ [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhu2Ij0rWCQ Cody blows the spectacular napalm effects way too early.]]
Changed line(s) 12,19 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tugg''': Enough from the peanut gallery, into the water, ladies!
-->'''Kirk''': No, no, no, man, lemme take a look at the map real quick.
-->'''Tugg''': Why is everybody obsessed with the map?
-->'''Kirk''': 'Cause we're tired of bein' your trail donkeys! Actin' like you some one-man GPS! [[SuddenlyShouting GOD DAMN IT!]] ''WE LOST!'' We fuckin' super lost, man!!! ''(turns to Kevin)'' Tell him, [=McClusky=], tell him what time it is!
-->'''Tugg''': I don't believe you people!
-->'''Kirk''': Hut! What do you mean 'you people'?
-->'''Alpa''': ... What do ''YOU'' mean, 'you people'?!?
-->'''Kirk''': Huh?!
-->'''Kirk''': No, no, no, man, lemme take a look at the map real quick.
-->'''Tugg''': Why is everybody obsessed with the map?
-->'''Kirk''': 'Cause we're tired of bein' your trail donkeys! Actin' like you some one-man GPS! [[SuddenlyShouting GOD DAMN IT!]] ''WE LOST!'' We fuckin' super lost, man!!! ''(turns to Kevin)'' Tell him, [=McClusky=], tell him what time it is!
-->'''Tugg''': I don't believe you people!
-->'''Kirk''': Hut! What do you mean 'you people'?
-->'''Alpa''': ... What do ''YOU'' mean, 'you people'?!?
-->'''Kirk''': Huh?!
to:
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' No, no, no, man, lemme take a look at the map real
-->'''Tugg''':
'''Tugg:''' Why is everybody obsessed with the
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' 'Cause we're tired of bein' your trail donkeys! Actin' like you some one-man GPS! [[SuddenlyShouting GOD DAMN IT!]] ''WE LOST!'' We fuckin' super lost, man!!! ''(turns to Kevin)'' Tell him, [=McClusky=], tell him what time it
-->'''Tugg''':
'''Tugg:''' I don't believe you
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' Hut! What do you mean 'you
-->'''Alpa''': ...
'''Alpa:''' ... What do ''YOU'' mean, 'you
-->'''Kirk''':
'''Kirk:''' Huh?!
Changed line(s) 70 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kirk''': I'm a '''LEAD FARMER [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch MOTHERFUCKER]]!'''
to:
Changed line(s) 150,151 (click to see context) from:
* When Alpa [[spoiler:accidentally outs himself]] to the guys at the campfire:
-->'''Kirk:''' When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy,' was you thinking about danglin' your dice on [[spoiler:Lance's]] forehead?
-->'''Kirk:''' When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy,' was you thinking about danglin' your dice on [[spoiler:Lance's]] forehead?
to:
* When Alpa [[spoiler:accidentally accidentally outs himself]] himself to the guys at the campfire:
-->'''Kirk:''' When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy,' was you thinking about danglin' your dice on[[spoiler:Lance's]] Lance's forehead?
-->'''Kirk:''' When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy,' was you thinking about danglin' your dice on
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Changed line(s) 84 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...''' ''(Turns music back on)''
to:
-->'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...''' '' ''(Turns music back on)''
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Changed line(s) 72,73 (click to see context) from:
* The entire movie was a Funny Moment, but special mention goes to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEBL-k_vF0E Les Grossman]].
-->'''Les:''' Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take take a big step back, and literally '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''''' '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOUR OWN FACE]]'''! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, jack, is my territory, so whatever you're thinking, you better think again because otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! [[ClusterFBomb You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations to get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you! I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you!]] '''''[[AtomicFBomb I WILL FUCK YOU UP!]]'''''
-->'''Les:''' Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take take a big step back, and literally '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''''' '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOUR OWN FACE]]'''! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, jack, is my territory, so whatever you're thinking, you better think again because otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! [[ClusterFBomb You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations to get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you! I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you!]] '''''[[AtomicFBomb I WILL FUCK YOU UP!]]'''''
to:
* The entire movie was a Funny Moment, but special mention goes to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEBL-k_vF0E com/watch?v=KnRrvMYNUbI Les Grossman]].
-->'''Les:''' Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take take a big step back, and literally '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''''' '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOUR OWN FACE]]'''! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia,jack, Jack, is my territory, so whatever you're thinking, you better think again because otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! [[ClusterFBomb You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations to get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you! I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you!]] '''''[[AtomicFBomb I WILL FUCK YOU UP!]]'''''
-->'''Les:''' Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take take a big step back, and literally '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''''' '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOUR OWN FACE]]'''! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia,
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Changed line(s) 102 (click to see context) from:
* Creator/RobertDowneyJr's in-character DVD commentary is ''priceless''. ("Remember when you told [Brandon Jackson] to slap me all goddamn day, Ben? I remember. Like it was fuckin' yesterday.") He even switches to an Australian accent when Kirk has an identity crisis and realizes he is not any of his characters.
to:
* Creator/RobertDowneyJr's in-character DVD commentary is ''priceless''. ("Remember when you told [Brandon Jackson] to slap me all goddamn Goddamn day, Ben? I remember. Like it was fuckin' yesterday.") He even switches to an Australian accent when Kirk has an identity crisis and realizes he is not any of his characters.
Changed line(s) 106 (click to see context) from:
** "He ain't playing God...He's being judged by Him."
to:
** "He ain't playing God...He's being judged by Him."Afterwards:
-->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Where ever you are!
-->'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
-->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Where ever you are!
-->'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
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* Kirk's line when he sees Tugg (in the parody of [[Film/{{Platoon}} Sgt. Elias death]]): "Survive!"
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kirk''': Whop! What do you mean 'you people'?
to:
-->'''Kirk''': Whop! Hut! What do you mean 'you people'?
-->'''Kirk''': Huh?!
** Kirk then distracts Tugg by asking him how he keeps in shape before snatching the map from him. Classic Lazarus.
--->'''Kirk''': Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
** Followed shortly by:
--->'''Tugg''': We're supposed to be a unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
** Kirk then distracts Tugg by asking him how he keeps in shape before snatching the map from him. Classic Lazarus.
--->'''Kirk''': Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
** Followed shortly by:
--->'''Tugg''': We're supposed to be a unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Tugg Speedman:''' Somebody said they were close to me?
to:
--->'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?me?]]
** "He ain't playing God...He's being judged by Him."
Deleted line(s) 112,118 (click to see context) :
* The scene by the river.
-->'''Kirk''': We lost! WE FUCKIN' SUPER LOST, MAN!
** Kirk then distracts Tugg by asking him how he keeps in shape before snatching the map from him. Classic Lazarus.
--->'''Kirk''': Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
** Followed shortly by:
--->'''Tugg''': We're supposed to be a unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
-->'''Kirk''': We lost! WE FUCKIN' SUPER LOST, MAN!
** Kirk then distracts Tugg by asking him how he keeps in shape before snatching the map from him. Classic Lazarus.
--->'''Kirk''': Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
** Followed shortly by:
--->'''Tugg''': We're supposed to be a unit.
--->'''Kirk''': ''Suck'' my unit.
Changed line(s) 126 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Alpa''': I'm just messin' with you, Film/KangarooJack. I'm so sorry a dingo ate your baby!
to:
-->'''Alpa''': I'm just messin' with you, Film/KangarooJack. [[Film/EvilAngels I'm so sorry a dingo ate your baby!baby!]]
Changed line(s) 137 (click to see context) from:
'''Key Grip:''' [''Calmly walks up to Damien''] Sorry, man. [''Delivers a single epic punch to Damien's nose'']\\
to:
'''Key Grip:''' [''Calmly walks up to Damien''] [[ApologeticAttacker Sorry, man. man.]] [''Delivers a single epic punch to Damien's nose'']\\