Funny / Touched by an Angel

• Tess and David in "Southbound Bus".
  Tess: You must be little David.
  David: I'm not little.
  Tess: Well, I never saw adults with dinosaurs on their underwear before.
• "Honey, you are plunging into the lion's den... You're dealing with a lawyer."
• The bit in "Fallen Angels", when Monica mentions her ocean phobia.
  Monica: I'm afraid of the water.
  Tess: Say that again?
  Monica: I never had to work near lakes and oceans. I always asked to be excused from those and I was. Bad memories of the Flood, I guess.
  Tess: This is ridiculous! What is the first thing an angel says? "Fear not. Be not afraid. Except for large bodies of water." Is that it?!
• In season 2, episode 6 "In the Name of God". The previously cowardly Jerry adding his two cents as he stands with Monica, Tess and Sam as they confront the white supremacist group and the Devil himself. All three angels look at the man like he's crazy, for his part. Jerry just shrugs sheepishly.
• In "Something Blue," Monica throws herself totally into wedding planning, complete with insisting she, Tess and Andrew dress alike.
  Bride: Team Matrimony?
  Tess: The hats were her idea.
• Monica, on psychotropic drugs in season 2 episode 16 "Jacob's Ladder".
  "You don't know what you're dealing with here. I could break you like *snaps* THAT!"
  • Cue Fridge Horror when the audience realizes she really could. Though admittedly, she was de-powered at the time.
• Monica's coffee addiction! She orders the strangest stuff sometimes.
• There's also this gem from Tess in "Sins of the Father": "You stole my car! You stole it and then you killed it! Will you look at this? The Angel of Death done killed my car!"
  • Actually, Tess is pretty hilarious when anybody messes with her car. In Season 4's "Sandcastles," she experiences car trouble and Andrew tries to fix it. She ends up giving him a classic Tess tongue-lashing, complaining about "getting her hands all greasy" and lecturing Andrew on his talents, or lack thereof.
• In "Inherit the Wind," Deadpan Snarker George the butler greets Kevin Greeley with, "Master Kevin, last night, someone carved the words, 'This party is da bomb' on the baby grand piano." His British accent and calm delivery totally sell it.
• In the season 6 episode "Mother's Day". Audrey, the depressed woman the angels are trying to help has refused to talk to them directly. So, Monica has been trying to talk to her within her dreams. Which is fine, until Audrey has a dream were Monica and her own pet Iguana appear. While the majority of the episode is very serious and somber. The fact that Audrey's Iguana starts talking (and even mocks Audrey) is rather bizarre.
• Season 9, episode 12 "The Root of All Evil". Poor Gloria is stuck working on an assignment without Monica to guide her. At one point, she even asks to switch assignments. With an angel working on helping a hockey team suffering from a bad losing streak.
• Season 3’s “Angel of Death” has Tess mentoring an angel who has taken human form for the first time when the following exchange takes place:
  Celeste: Is it true if one breaks off another one'll just grow right back?
  Tess: The fingernails, yes. The fingers, no