History Funny / TheWheelOfTime

* Tuon making Mat take her to visit a tavern, and she is not subtle at all about making sure that it ''must'' be a WretchedHive.

* Tuon making Mat take her to visit a tavern and she is not subtle at all about making sure that it ''must'' be a WretchedHiveOfScumAndVillainy.

-->'''Tuon:''' Do I remind you of your mother? Or perhaps your sister?

-->She glanced at his sword.
-->"I'm a Warder now." He shrugged. "Might as well look like one, eh?"
-->[[WeaponizedTeleportation He could cut a Trolloc in half with a gateway at three hundred paces]], and [[LavaAddsAwesome summon fire from inside Dragonmount itself]], and he still wanted to carry a sword. It was, she decided, [[PhallicWeapon a male thing]].
-->''[[PsychicLink I heard that]]'', Androl sent her.

-->'''Androl''': I purposefully brought us to a place far from where he was fighting.
-->'''Pevara''': Yes. [[DeadpanSnarker How dare he move and interfere with the group of channelers attacking his forces?]]
-->'''Androl''': You know, Pevara, you are unusually smart-lipped for an Aes Sedai.
-->'''Pevara''': [[NotSoAboveItAll You don't know Aes Sedai nearly as well as you assume.]]

-->Androl had been around long enough to know that a pretty face was nothing compared to the type of ''solidity'' a woman like Pevara displayed. Control, steadiness, determination. These were things that only proper seasoning could bring.
-->It was the same thing with leather. New leather was fine, but really ''good'' leather was leather that had been used and worn, like a strap that had been cared for over the years. You never knew for certain if you could rely on a new strap. Once it had been your companion for a few seasons, you knew.
-->"I'm trying to read that thought," Pevara said. "Did you just...[[ThatCameOutWrong compare me to an old strap of leather]]?"
-->He blushed.
-->"I'll assume it's a leatherworker's thing."
-->"Well, you keep comparing me to...what is it? A bunch of little figurines?"
-->She smiled. "My family."
-->The ones killed by Darkfriends. "I'm sorry."
-->"It happened very, very long ago, Androl."
-->"Light," he said. [[ReallySevenHundredYearsOld "I keep forgetting that you're older than most trees, Pevara."]]
-->"Hmmm..." she said. "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper First I'm a strap of leather, now I'm older than trees]]. I assume that, despite the several dozen jobs you've had in your life, none of your training involves how to speak with a lady?"

-->''Gawyn looked extremely skeptical, but he scooped up her basket before she could touch it. “Let me see you part of the way, at least,” he said, his voice oozing false concern. “This basket must be too heavy for you, dizzy as you are. I’d not want you to swoon.”''

-->'''Gawyn''': Such grace of movement, Elmindreda. Such a dulcet voice, as a nightingale, or a cooing dove of the evening. What man would not grow starry-eyed at the sight of Elmindreda?

* Assuming you can get over the UnfortunateImplications of the whole [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale Mat/Tylin]] thing, the bit where Mat finally explains to Elayne what's going on...

* In Illian, after Moiraine has discovered Lord Brend is Sammael and he has sent Darkhounds after them (but someone else is sending Gray Men), Perrin wonders why the Shadow would be interested in them since "Rand is the bloody Dragon Reborn". He says this in front of the innkeeper and Faile, resulting in the latter being bound to Moiraine's party for good because she knows too much. Moiraine warns Perrin against letting his tongue flap by saying "[[UnusualEuphemism there are many threads in the Pattern, take care one does not strangle you]]". Later, after they have fought off the Darkhounds, Perrin again wonders about their pursuers, asking if they are after him or Rand. ''Moiraine'' [[{{Hypocrisy}} then reveals, again in front of Faile]], that Mat is a ''ta'veren'' and has blown the Horn of Valere. Her response (her being a Hunter for the Horn, sworn to find the Horn of Valere)? “He blew it? Someone has found it already?”

-->'''Lan''': I would never laugh at you, Moiraine Sedai, but if you truly intend to send me to Myrelle, [[TheStoic I must become used to smiling]]. [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow I hear that Myrelle tells her Warders jokes]]. Gaidin must smile at their bond-holders quips; you have often given me quips to laugh at, have you not? Perhaps you would rather I stay with you after all.