History Funny / TheWheelOfTime

7th Jul '16 9:48:27 PM Ingonyama
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* Nynaeve, angry about being left out of the loop regarding the Salidar Six meeting with Egwene in Tel'aran'rhiod, and at being demoted because she can't break her block and has stopped taking credit for Moghedien's teachings as new discoveries, storms out of the Little Tower only to run into Thom and Juilin.
-->Thom Merrilin grinned down at her through his long white mustaches, sharp blue eyes twinkling in his gnarled face. "By the look of you, Nynaeve, I could almost think you were angry, but I know you have such a sweet disposition people ask you to dabble your fingers in their tea."
7th Jul '16 8:31:32 PM Ingonyama
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** Similarly, Greandal's fate, [[spoiler:[[HoistByHisOwnPetard having her own weave of compulsion knocked back at her by an exploding gateway]], becoming Aviendha's adoring slave]].

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** Similarly, Greandal's Graendal's fate, [[spoiler:[[HoistByHisOwnPetard having her own weave of compulsion knocked back at her by an exploding gateway]], becoming Aviendha's adoring slave]].
7th Jul '16 8:21:10 PM Ingonyama
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'''Mat:''' It's like . . . Well, reasoning with a woman is like sitting down to a friendly game of dice. Only the woman refuses to acknowledge the basic bloody rules of the game. A man, he'll cheat you - but [[ReliableTraitor he'll do it honestly]]. [[FixingTheGame He'll use loaded dice, so that you think you're losing by chance.]] And if you aren't clever enough to spot what he's doing, then maybe he deserves to take your coin. And that's that. A woman, though, she'll sit down to that same game and she'll smile, and act like she's going to play. [[TheGMIsACheatingBastard Only when it's her turn to throw, she'll toss a pair of her own dice that are blank on all six sides. Not a single pip showing. She'll inspect the throw, then she'll look up at you and say, 'clearly I just won.']] Now, you'll scratch your head and look at the dice. Then you'll look up at her, then down at the dice again 'But there aren't any pips on these dice' you'll say. [[BlatantLies 'Yes there are,' she'll say. 'And both dice rolled a one.']] [[ContrivedCoincidence 'That's exactly the number you need to win,']] you'll say. 'What a coincidence,' she'll reply, then begin to scoop up your coins. And you'll sit there, trying to wrap your head 'bout what just happened. And you'll realise something. A pair of ones ''isn't'' the winning throw! Not when you threw a six on your turn. That means she needed a pair of twos instead! Excitedly you'll explain what you've discovered. Only then do you know what she'll do?\\

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'''Mat:''' It's like . . . Well, reasoning with a woman is like sitting down to a friendly game of dice. Only the woman refuses to acknowledge the basic bloody rules of the game. A man, he'll cheat you - but [[ReliableTraitor he'll do it honestly]].honestly. [[FixingTheGame He'll use loaded dice, so that you think you're losing by chance.]] And if you aren't clever enough to spot what he's doing, then maybe he deserves to take your coin. And that's that. A woman, though, she'll sit down to that same game and she'll smile, and act like she's going to play. [[TheGMIsACheatingBastard Only when it's her turn to throw, she'll toss a pair of her own dice that are blank on all six sides. Not a single pip showing. She'll inspect the throw, then she'll look up at you and say, 'clearly I just won.']] Now, you'll scratch your head and look at the dice. Then you'll look up at her, then down at the dice again 'But there aren't any pips on these dice' you'll say. [[BlatantLies 'Yes there are,' she'll say. 'And both dice rolled a one.']] [[ContrivedCoincidence 'That's exactly the number you need to win,']] you'll say. 'What a coincidence,' she'll reply, then begin to scoop up your coins. And you'll sit there, trying to wrap your head 'bout what just happened. And you'll realise something. A pair of ones ''isn't'' the winning throw! Not when you threw a six on your turn. That means she needed a pair of twos instead! Excitedly you'll explain what you've discovered. Only then do you know what she'll do?\\
25th May '16 9:06:27 PM Ingonyama
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* Also in Ebou Dar, Mat and Rand finally see each other after ten books and the conversation quickly escalates, despite Rand being a ''[[CasualDangerDialogue prisoner]]'' at the time.

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* Also in Ebou Dar, Mat and Rand finally see each other after ten books and the conversation quickly escalates, despite Rand being a ''[[CasualDangerDialogue prisoner]]'' at the time. The scene has shades of Han and Luke being taken before Jabba the Hutt in ''Film/ReturnOfTheJedi.''


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** Three particularly good moments:

-->She glanced at his sword.
-->"I'm a Warder now." He shrugged. "Might as well look like one, eh?"
-->[[WeaponizedTeleportation He could cut a Trolloc in half with a gateway at three hundred paces]], and [[LavaAddsAwesome summon fire from inside Dragonmount itself]], and he still wanted to carry a sword. It was, she decided, [[PhallicWeapon a male thing]].
-->''[[PsychicLink I heard that]]'', Androl sent her.

:: : After escaping an attack by Demandred.
-->'''Androl''': I purposefully brought us to a place far from where he was fighting.
-->'''Pevara''': Yes. [[DeadpanSnarker How dare he move and interfere with the group of channelers attacking his forces?]]
-->'''Androl''': You know, Pevara, you are unusually smart-lipped for an Aes Sedai.
-->'''Pevara''': [[NotSoAboveItAll You don't know Aes Sedai nearly as well as you assume.]]

-->Androl had been around long enough to know that a pretty face was nothing compared to the type of ''solidity'' a woman like Pevara displayed. Control, steadiness, determination. These were things that only proper seasoning could bring.
-->It was the same thing with leather. New leather was fine, but really ''good'' leather was leather that had been used and worn, like a strap that had been cared for over the years. You never knew for certain if you could rely on a new strap. Once it had been your companion for a few seasons, you knew.
-->"I'm trying to read that thought," Pevara said. "Did you just...[[ThatCameOutWrong compare me to an old strap of leather]]?"
-->He blushed.
-->"I'll assume it's a leatherworker's thing."
-->"Well, you keep comparing me to...what is it? A bunch of little figurines?"
-->She smiled. "My family."
-->The ones killed by Darkfriends. "I'm sorry."
-->"It happened very, very long ago, Androl."
-->"Light," he said. [[ReallySevenHundredYearsOld "I keep forgetting that you're older than most trees, Pevara."]]
-->"Hmmm..." she said. "First I'm a strap of leather, now I'm older than trees. I assume that, despite the several dozen jobs you've had in your life, none of your training involves how to speak with a lady?"
25th May '16 8:29:22 PM Ingonyama
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* In Illian, after Moiraine has discovered Lord Brend is Sammael and he has sent Darkhounds after them (but someone else is sending Gray Men), Perrin wonders why the Shadow would be interested in them since "Rand is the bloody Dragon Reborn". He says this in front of the innkeeper and Faile, resulting in the latter being bound to Moiraine's party for good because she knows too much. Moiraine warns Perrin against letting his tongue flap by saying "[[UnusualEuphemism there are many threads in the Pattern, take care one does not strangle you]]". Later, after they have fought off the Darkhounds, Perrin again wonders about their pursuers, asking if they are after him or Rand. ''Moiraine'' [[{{Hypocrisy}} then reveals, again in front of Faile, that Mat is a ''ta'veren'' and has blown the Horn of Valere.]] Her response (her being a Hunter for the Horn, sworn to find the Horn of Valere)? “He blew it? Someone has found it already?”

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* In Illian, after Moiraine has discovered Lord Brend is Sammael and he has sent Darkhounds after them (but someone else is sending Gray Men), Perrin wonders why the Shadow would be interested in them since "Rand is the bloody Dragon Reborn". He says this in front of the innkeeper and Faile, resulting in the latter being bound to Moiraine's party for good because she knows too much. Moiraine warns Perrin against letting his tongue flap by saying "[[UnusualEuphemism there are many threads in the Pattern, take care one does not strangle you]]". Later, after they have fought off the Darkhounds, Perrin again wonders about their pursuers, asking if they are after him or Rand. ''Moiraine'' [[{{Hypocrisy}} then reveals, again in front of Faile, Faile]], that Mat is a ''ta'veren'' and has blown the Horn of Valere.]] Valere. Her response (her being a Hunter for the Horn, sworn to find the Horn of Valere)? “He blew it? Someone has found it already?”
25th May '16 8:27:48 PM Ingonyama
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* After Egwene, Perrin, and Elyas leave the Tinker camp, Perrin asks Egwene what she was spending all her time talking with Ila about.
-->“Ila was giving me advice on being a woman,” Egwene replied absently. He began laughing, and she gave him a hooded, dangerous look that he failed to see.
-->“Advice! Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are.”
-->“That,” Egwene said, “is probably why you make such a bad job of it.” Up ahead, Elyas cackled loudly.


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** On a related note, how Gawyn teases her about it every chance he gets. In retaliation, when he shows her ''The Way of the Light'' to try and get her to condemn it so Galad will stop listening to Valda, she goes absolutely vapid and twitters about "reading being so ''hard''". She follows this up, when Galad tries to claim that Whitecloaks aren't so bad, just overzealous, with "but they're so rough, and I don't think any of them know how to dance!" Then, when she sees Logain's halo and rushes to go tell Siuan, Galad tells her she need not be frightened by him and she jumps on the excuse, saying she feels faint.
-->''Gawyn looked extremely skeptical, but he scooped up her basket before she could touch it. “Let me see you part of the way, at least,” he said, his voice oozing false concern. “This basket must be too heavy for you, dizzy as you are. I’d not want you to swoon.”''

:: : And finally, after they're alone together and have talked a bit more, he teases her once more; she tries to punch him, he dodges, and then:
-->'''Gawyn''': Such grace of movement, Elmindreda. Such a dulcet voice, as a nightingale, or a cooing dove of the evening. What man would not grow starry-eyed at the sight of Elmindreda?
26th Dec '15 9:48:17 PM Pren
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* Egwene has another obstacle to gaining respect as the Amyrlin, as she has to take private meetings while perching on a wobbly stool.
7th Dec '15 8:30:04 PM Pren
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* Egwene finds Aviendha at her scheduled dream meeting with Elayne, because Elayne couldn't get her ter'angreal to work, eventually getting so angry that she started jumping on it.
16th Nov '15 8:30:54 PM surgoshan
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* After learning about the Ebou Dar tradition of having a jewel in your dagger for each of your children, Nynaeve and Elayne meet with Egwene in Tel'Aran'Rhiod sporting daggers that indicate they want to each have ''tons'' of kids. And they quickly get rid of them once they notice, despite Egwene having no idea what it means.

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* After learning about the Ebou Dar tradition of having a jewel in your dagger for each of your children, Nynaeve and Elayne meet with Egwene in Tel'Aran'Rhiod sporting daggers that indicate they want to each have ''tons'' of kids. And they quickly get rid of them once they notice, despite Egwene having no idea what it means.
means. Nynaeve's only had a dozen. Elayne's was ''crusted''.
7th Mar '15 6:58:27 PM Eegah
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* Mat's new wardrobe, one of the few times you'll be thankful for Jordan's CostumePorn.
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