Funny / The Enemy Below

• While some of the officers are talking about their new captain as they're playing cards.
  Lt. Mackeson: I still don't see why they didn't move Ware up. He's been exec long enough.
  Lieutenant Ware: (snarkishly) My dear Mackenson, the only craft I've ever commanded was a yawl in the Miami yacht races. And the nearest I ever came to winning that was 29th. The Navy may have been desperate enough to put me in uniform, but not foolish enough to let me sail away by myself.
• The scene when the ship has just avoided two torpedoes. One cook spots them as they shoot past, and quickly jumps back into the ship and closes the hatch behind him.
  • Lieutenant Ware meanwhile can't help but give a sigh of relief and quip:
  "The Miami yacht races were never like this."
  • And two seamen on the afterdeck (the first of whom has been derisively referring to the captain as a "feather merchant") share this exchange:
  Robbins: Hey, Corky—how do you suppose the Captain knew when to turn this old tub?
  Corky: Because he's a Captain—and that's the reason HE is and YOU ain't!
• As the American and German crew rush to save their captains, Ware can't help but offer one last bit of Casual Danger Dialogue.
  Lt. Ware: Let's step it up sir, I'm doubled parked!