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** The last one is [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe Minion-themed]] and he is absolutely stunned after he sniffs it and finds out that it's so cheap, it has no fragrance, only smelling of alcohol.
to:
** The last one is [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe [[Franchise/DespicableMe Minion-themed]] and he is absolutely stunned after he sniffs it and finds out that it's so cheap, it has no fragrance, only smelling of alcohol.
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* From the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYo67HScJ84 Valentine's Special 2024]]: Ashens has a lot of fun with the Apology Pad.
-->''[[VideoGame/BaldursGateIII To: Tav]]\\
From: Astarion\\
Date: 14/2/24\\
I am really sorry for: Trying to bite your neck while you slept\\
I will make it up to you by: Getting lots of critical hits''
-->''[[VideoGame/JetSetWilly To: Maria]]\\
From: Willy\\
Date: 14/2/1985\\
I am really sorry for: Making a mess of the house\\
I will make it up to you by: Cleaning it up before I go to bed''
-->''[[Series/BabylonFive To: G'Kar]]\\
From: Londo\\
Date: 14/2/2259\\
I am really sorry for: Devastating your homeworld\\
I will make it up to you by: Attempting to contain the influence of the Shadows''
-->''[[VideoGame/BaldursGateIII To: Tav]]\\
From: Astarion\\
Date: 14/2/24\\
I am really sorry for: Trying to bite your neck while you slept\\
I will make it up to you by: Getting lots of critical hits''
-->''[[VideoGame/JetSetWilly To: Maria]]\\
From: Willy\\
Date: 14/2/1985\\
I am really sorry for: Making a mess of the house\\
I will make it up to you by: Cleaning it up before I go to bed''
-->''[[Series/BabylonFive To: G'Kar]]\\
From: Londo\\
Date: 14/2/2259\\
I am really sorry for: Devastating your homeworld\\
I will make it up to you by: Attempting to contain the influence of the Shadows''
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Changed line(s) 747,748 (click to see context) from:
** When Stuart actually plays Hareraiser, he finds the game's title music to be unpleasant and mutes it.
--->'''Stuart:''' Now, there's a feature on a laptop called mute. (mutes his laptop) It is a good feature.
--->'''Stuart:''' Now, there's a feature on a laptop called mute. (mutes his laptop) It is a good feature.
to:
** When Stuart actually plays Hareraiser, ''Hareraiser'', he finds the game's title music to be unpleasant and mutes it.
unpleasant.
--->'''Stuart:''' Now, there's a feature on a laptop called mute.(mutes (''mutes his laptop) laptop'') It is a good feature.feature... You are my sunshine. No, you ain't, mate.
--->'''Stuart:''' Now, there's a feature on a laptop called mute.
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--->'''Stuart:''' ''(reading the comic)'' Hang on...These look like copies. Also, I'm a different person.
** In the first comic "One Day at a Friend's House," Stuart notices the kid bears resemblance to Donald Trump and refers to him as Donald Trump Jr.
** In the first comic "One Day at a Friend's House," Stuart notices the kid bears resemblance to Donald Trump and refers to him as Donald Trump Jr.
to:
--->'''Stuart:''' ''(reading the comic)'' Hang on...These look like copies. copies! Also, I'm a different person.
** In the first comic "One Day at a Friend's House," Stuart notices the kid bears resemblance toDonald Trump UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump and refers to him as Donald Trump Jr.
** In the first comic "One Day at a Friend's House," Stuart notices the kid bears resemblance to
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* Ashens [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpaIgMBJHQU attempting to review the boxes to ten DVDs for bargain bin horror films]] goes off the rails fairly quickly for one specific reason. Ashen got his friend Steve to write review website scores (half of were blank, by the way) and foreign market names on an inlay inside the cases. One problem; Steve's handwriting turns out to be 'AWFUL' and Ashens corpses multiple times trying to decipher his scribbles. The inlay for ''Mother's Doll'' is perhaps the most infamous because the scribble comes out to Ashens as "Nedung Parste", which he compares to the writing on the [[Franchise/LordOfTheRings One Ring]][[note]]the actual alternate name is ''The Melancholy Fantastic''; Ashens is suitably flabbergasted as to how Steve wrote it like he did[[/note]]. The absolute clincher is his attempt to write ''Eden Lodge'''s alternate title of ''Breakdown''; the end result can only be described as a mad scribble across the page that would be totally illegible if not for context. Ashens gets as far as "Bruldoon" before he gives up.
to:
* Ashens [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpaIgMBJHQU attempting to review the boxes to ten DVDs for bargain bin horror films]] goes off the rails fairly quickly for one specific reason. Ashen got his friend Steve to write review website scores (half of were blank, by the way) and foreign market names on an inlay inside the cases. One problem; Steve's handwriting turns out to be 'AWFUL' '''AWFUL''' and Ashens corpses multiple times trying to decipher his scribbles. The inlay for ''Mother's Doll'' is perhaps the most infamous because the scribble comes out to Ashens as "Nedung Parste", which he compares to the writing on the [[Franchise/LordOfTheRings One Ring]][[note]]the actual alternate name is ''The Melancholy Fantastic''; Ashens is suitably flabbergasted as to how Steve wrote it like he did[[/note]]. The absolute clincher is his attempt to write ''Eden Lodge'''s alternate title of ''Breakdown''; the end result can only be described as a mad scribble across the page that would be totally illegible if not for context. Ashens gets as far as "Bruldoon" before he gives up.
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*Ashens [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpaIgMBJHQU attempting to review the boxes to ten DVDs for bargain bin horror films]] goes off the rails fairly quickly for one specific reason. Ashen got his friend Steve to write review website scores (half of were blank, by the way) and foreign market names on an inlay inside the cases. One problem; Steve's handwriting turns out to be 'AWFUL' and Ashens corpses multiple times trying to decipher his scribbles. The inlay for ''Mother's Doll'' is perhaps the most infamous because the scribble comes out to Ashens as "Nedung Parste", which he compares to the writing on the [[Franchise/LordOfTheRings One Ring]][[note]]the actual alternate name is ''The Melancholy Fantastic''; Ashens is suitably flabbergasted as to how Steve wrote it like he did[[/note]]. The absolute clincher is his attempt to write ''Eden Lodge'''s alternate title of ''Breakdown''; the end result can only be described as a mad scribble across the page that would be totally illegible if not for context. Ashens gets as far as "Bruldoon" before he gives up.
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---->'''Stuart:''' No, I'm going to place sticker in bin, where it deserves to live."
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---->'''Stuart:''' Yes, that's what you've done to our soul with your toys.
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---->'''Stuart:''' ''No'', you should stay in here and rot, like the evil you are.
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---->'''Stuart:''' We've got the Chain of Doom. That's nice, so you can lock it up in a cupboard or something so it never gets out.
to:
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** His comments while opening the [=LOL=] Surprise stuff.
*** A paper instructs him to "Place sticker on charm."
---->'''Stuart:''' No, I'm going to place sticker in bin, where it deserves to live."
*** "This is like Pass the Parcel for cretins."
*** On the packaging:
---->"So, every time you unsheathe another layer of the onion, more crap falls out."\\
"But now this does genuinely look like a cyber onion or something. This is [[Franchise/DoctorWho Doctor Who's]] onion."\\
"Let's peel the onion of disappointment."
*** One of the bags containing an accessory has writing on it that reads: "Careful! Precious contents inside!"
---->'''Stuart:''' (''exhales'') There's laws about lying on packaging.
*** The bag containing the doll has a speech bubble saying: "It's dark in here!''
---->'''Stuart:''' Yes, that's what you've done to our soul with your toys.
*** On one of the wrappers for the big doll, there's a character with a speech bubble shouting: "Let me out!"
---->'''Stuart:''' ''No'', you should stay in here and rot, like the evil you are.
*** After finding an accessory that looks like a chain:
---->'''Stuart:''' We've got the Chain of Doom. That's nice, so you can lock it up in a cupboard or something so it never gets out.
*** Stuart finally gets to have a look at the big doll:
---->"It's like a modernized version of a Kewpie doll, if you remember those. Although, with the face, it looks more like somebody tried to make a sex doll of WesternAnimation/TweetiePie. That's ''absolutely'' horrific!"
*** "It's like a genie with some... (''drops accessory'') coffee."
*** A paper instructs him to "Place sticker on charm."
---->'''Stuart:''' No, I'm going to place sticker in bin, where it deserves to live."
*** "This is like Pass the Parcel for cretins."
*** On the packaging:
---->"So, every time you unsheathe another layer of the onion, more crap falls out."\\
"But now this does genuinely look like a cyber onion or something. This is [[Franchise/DoctorWho Doctor Who's]] onion."\\
"Let's peel the onion of disappointment."
*** One of the bags containing an accessory has writing on it that reads: "Careful! Precious contents inside!"
---->'''Stuart:''' (''exhales'') There's laws about lying on packaging.
*** The bag containing the doll has a speech bubble saying: "It's dark in here!''
---->'''Stuart:''' Yes, that's what you've done to our soul with your toys.
*** On one of the wrappers for the big doll, there's a character with a speech bubble shouting: "Let me out!"
---->'''Stuart:''' ''No'', you should stay in here and rot, like the evil you are.
*** After finding an accessory that looks like a chain:
---->'''Stuart:''' We've got the Chain of Doom. That's nice, so you can lock it up in a cupboard or something so it never gets out.
*** Stuart finally gets to have a look at the big doll:
---->"It's like a modernized version of a Kewpie doll, if you remember those. Although, with the face, it looks more like somebody tried to make a sex doll of WesternAnimation/TweetiePie. That's ''absolutely'' horrific!"
*** "It's like a genie with some... (''drops accessory'') coffee."
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** "Overall, I give it an 8 out of 10, but only because it was MadeInChina and I am terrified of their government."
to:
** "Overall, I give it an 8 out of 10, but only because it was MadeInChina [[MadeInCountryX made in China]] and I am terrified of their government."
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'''Ashens:''' No! No! No! No! No! No! No! ''[fades into titlecard]''
to:
'''Ashens:''' No! No... No! No! No! No! No! No! ''[fades into titlecard]''
Changed line(s) 479 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Ashens:''' I can't wait for the inevitable movie adaptation of this. He was a man, who just couldn't stop running, accidentally. Starring Creator/DwayneJohnson as Idiot.
to:
--->'''Ashens:''' I can't wait for the inevitable movie adaptation of this. He "He was a man, who just couldn't stop running, accidentally. accidentally." Starring Creator/DwayneJohnson as Idiot.
Changed line(s) 483 (click to see context) from:
** The way the video ends. The screen fades from black back to Ashens' sofa, with him sobbing because the games were that bad. He quits for a second to advertise his book ''Attack of the Flickering Skeletons'', then goes back to sobbing.
to:
** The way the video ends. The screen fades from black back to Ashens' sofa, with him sobbing weeping because the games were that bad. He quits for a second to advertise his book ''Attack of the Flickering Skeletons'', then goes back to sobbing.sobbing.
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnrDI_Bn3rA his look]] at ''Oriental Hero'':
** Describing the kicks that the ninja does in the first event of ''Ninja Master'' as "bizarrely effeminate".
** His thoughts on the music in ''Oriental Hero'':
--->"This may be the only game music in history that seems to be constantly interrupted by a neighbor banging on the wall to get the music to stop. Also, the wizard appears to be holding a blue dildo."
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnrDI_Bn3rA his look]] at ''Oriental Hero'':
** Describing the kicks that the ninja does in the first event of ''Ninja Master'' as "bizarrely effeminate".
** His thoughts on the music in ''Oriental Hero'':
--->"This may be the only game music in history that seems to be constantly interrupted by a neighbor banging on the wall to get the music to stop. Also, the wizard appears to be holding a blue dildo."
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Changed line(s) 580 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z14SlZ1i7rc His "review" of a dancing Jar Jar Binks figure.]] He spends nearly all of it trying to destroy it with [[DualWielding two]] [[DropTheHammer hammers]] before [[KillItWithFire finishing it off with a blowtorch]].
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z14SlZ1i7rc His "review" of a dancing Jar Jar Binks figure.]] He spends nearly all of it trying to destroy it with [[DualWielding two]] [[DropTheHammer two hammers]] before [[KillItWithFire finishing it off with a blowtorch]].
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* He ends his [[UsefulNotes/PlayStationPortable POPStation]] review by turning the device off because "it's making my ears bleed".
to:
* He ends his [[UsefulNotes/PlayStationPortable [[Platform/PlayStationPortable POPStation]] review by turning the device off because "it's making my ears bleed".
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* His reaction to the "Welcome Park" in his UsefulNotes/PSVita review.
to:
* His reaction to the "Welcome Park" in his UsefulNotes/PSVita Platform/PlayStationVita review.
Changed line(s) 374 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8GCC2jabmk Powkiddy X2]], a fake UsefulNotes/NintendoSwitch that plays emulated games, is preloaded with [=ROMs=] that have [[RecursiveTranslation odd names]].
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8GCC2jabmk Powkiddy X2]], a fake UsefulNotes/NintendoSwitch Platform/NintendoSwitch that plays emulated games, is preloaded with [=ROMs=] that have [[RecursiveTranslation odd names]].
Changed line(s) 380 (click to see context) from:
** Oddly, some of the games are confused for completely different installments in their respective series. For example, according to the Powkiddy, ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2'' on the UsefulNotes/GameGear is actually ''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy Sonic]]'' '''''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy Advance]]''''' ''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy 2]]'', and the original ''[[VideoGame/Metroid1 Metroid]]'' is really ''[[VideoGame/MetroidPrime Metroid]]'' '''''[[VideoGame/MetroidPrime Prime]]'''''.
to:
** Oddly, some of the games are confused for completely different installments in their respective series. For example, according to the Powkiddy, ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2'' on the UsefulNotes/GameGear Platform/GameGear is actually ''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy Sonic]]'' '''''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy Advance]]''''' ''[[VideoGame/SonicAdvanceTrilogy 2]]'', and the original ''[[VideoGame/Metroid1 Metroid]]'' is really ''[[VideoGame/MetroidPrime Metroid]]'' '''''[[VideoGame/MetroidPrime Prime]]'''''.
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* He begins his [[UsefulNotes/NintendoDS Neo Double Games]] review by introducing himself as a [[SelfDeprecation "failed psychologist and Internet cunt."]]
to:
* He begins his [[UsefulNotes/NintendoDS [[Platform/NintendoDS Neo Double Games]] review by introducing himself as a [[SelfDeprecation "failed psychologist and Internet cunt."]]
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* After getting a copy of ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaLinksAwakening'' (the DX version) in the 90s box in his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSeqt_n1hRk July 2016 Toy Box/Geek Gear video]], he notes that he's had good luck with the retro games he's been getting, then sarcastically suggests ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial'' for the UsefulNotes/Atari2600 [[TemptingFate for the next month. ]] [[{{Irony}} Guess what game he gets in the 80s box?]]
to:
* After getting a copy of ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaLinksAwakening'' (the DX version) in the 90s box in his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSeqt_n1hRk July 2016 Toy Box/Geek Gear video]], he notes that he's had good luck with the retro games he's been getting, then sarcastically suggests ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial'' for the UsefulNotes/Atari2600 Platform/Atari2600 [[TemptingFate for the next month. ]] [[{{Irony}} Guess what game he gets in the 80s box?]]
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* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwCVkgLENvc Canadian Food Special]], while looking at a Nestle Turtles three pack, he notes that the mascot on the wrapper (a cartoon turtle in a tuxedo) makes him angry because it reminds him of the infamous turtle scene from ''Film/TheMasterOfDisguise''.
to:
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwCVkgLENvc Canadian Food Special]], while looking at a Nestle Turtles three pack, Nestle's chocolate Turtle treat, he notes that the mascot on the wrapper (a cartoon turtle in a tuxedo) makes him angry because it reminds him of the infamous turtle scene from ''Film/TheMasterOfDisguise''.
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* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwCVkgLENvc Canadian Food Special]], while looking at a Nestle Turtles three pack, he notes that the mascot on the wrapper (a cartoon turtle in a tuxedo) makes him angry because it reminds him of the infamous turtle scene from ''Film/TheMasterOfDisguise''.
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Added example(s), General clarification on works content
* Stuart's [[https://youtu.be/bfXEnjI4vTk very first Christmas Tat video]] features three toys; a teddy bear trapped in an extremely harsh blizzard (entirely consisting of golf balls) that occurs with the press of a button, and a fireplace whose fire is [[TechnicolorFire a disco light]], and a party light which he breaks out in the finale of it. The latter is as depressing as it is funny, and an ''Platform/Xbox360'' styled achievement appears below it, saying "ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Worst Christmas Ever".
** [[https://youtu.be/ATZPvDhHX3I Its sequel in the next year]] has more bizarre merchandise; a Santa shaped like a carrot (in which Stuart says that you shouldn't leave it on a chair [[PainToTheAss so nobody would sit on it]]), a bear in a full body cast while skiing, a poorly crafted snowman ornament, an even cheaper do-it-yourself pom-pom reindeer (whose smile is so huge it ''comes off its face''), a music box that appears to have "bruised, mutant children worshiping a snowman," another DIY figure with an OffModel Santa (who resembles an "evil wizard" more than he does Santa, and inexplicably didn't come with his titular hat) and a similarly off model reindeer that is describes as a "bizarre chocolate sandwich [[BuffySpeak thing]] with liquorish in the middle" that only vaguely resembles a normal reindeer if viewed from the sides, and finally, the "leering death skull" of a poorly constructed Snowman head (with its eyes and mouth missing, and permanent marker was used to make the latter) doorhanger that plays "Jingle Bells" (with the said song actually ''[[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand slowing down]]'' the longer it's played) once its moved quickly enough while shaking violently. Stuart says that it's actually a "device for frightening pets" and the way he drops the toy after it finishes "singing" makes it seem like it sucked the soul out of him.
** [[https://youtu.be/ATZPvDhHX3I Its sequel in the next year]] has more bizarre merchandise; a Santa shaped like a carrot (in which Stuart says that you shouldn't leave it on a chair [[PainToTheAss so nobody would sit on it]]), a bear in a full body cast while skiing, a poorly crafted snowman ornament, an even cheaper do-it-yourself pom-pom reindeer (whose smile is so huge it ''comes off its face''), a music box that appears to have "bruised, mutant children worshiping a snowman," another DIY figure with an OffModel Santa (who resembles an "evil wizard" more than he does Santa, and inexplicably didn't come with his titular hat) and a similarly off model reindeer that is describes as a "bizarre chocolate sandwich [[BuffySpeak thing]] with liquorish in the middle" that only vaguely resembles a normal reindeer if viewed from the sides, and finally, the "leering death skull" of a poorly constructed Snowman head (with its eyes and mouth missing, and permanent marker was used to make the latter) doorhanger that plays "Jingle Bells" (with the said song actually ''[[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand slowing down]]'' the longer it's played) once its moved quickly enough while shaking violently. Stuart says that it's actually a "device for frightening pets" and the way he drops the toy after it finishes "singing" makes it seem like it sucked the soul out of him.
Changed line(s) 122 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SvYEaQRbk4 Christmas 2016]] provides him with, among other things, a cheap jumbo coloring book with surprisingly surrealistic and crappy illustrations. His descriptions/first impressions only make the baffling thing funnier.
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SvYEaQRbk4 In his Christmas 2016]] provides Special of 2016, he showcased a Link caganer (a statue of him with, among other things, [[BringMyBrownPants shitting himself on the ground]]). [[https://youtu.be/-SvYEaQRbk4?t=295 Yes, really.]] He also talks about the tradition about them, and showcases one of [[Characters/{{Minecraft}} Steve]] from ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' doing the same thing.
** Later on, he asks if whenever Link takes a dump, he farts out [[RecurringRiff Saria's Song]] (and after preforming what it might sound like, he says that [[TemptingFate it shouldn't be auto-tuned]]. As one could expect, [[https://youtu.be/ZP5koO5TWoA somebody went and made it anyways]]).
** The most notable part about it for many is his analysis of [[https://youtu.be/-SvYEaQRbk4?t=619 a cheap jumbo coloringbook book]] that is filled with surprisingly surrealistic and crappy illustrations. His descriptions/first impressions only make illustrations; Stuart describes said drawings as made from someone who "appears to be from the baffling thing funnier.sort of love child of Creator/HieronymusBosch and Creator/SalvadorDali who spent most of his life on meth." It returned in future Christmas specials, much to the delight of fans.
** Later on, he asks if whenever Link takes a dump, he farts out [[RecurringRiff Saria's Song]] (and after preforming what it might sound like, he says that [[TemptingFate it shouldn't be auto-tuned]]. As one could expect, [[https://youtu.be/ZP5koO5TWoA somebody went and made it anyways]]).
** The most notable part about it for many is his analysis of [[https://youtu.be/-SvYEaQRbk4?t=619 a cheap jumbo coloring
* [[https://youtu.be/iJyVhBSMVmc Ploughman's Lunch]] showcases an extremely cheap and depressing Ploughman's Lunch in a bag. Even ignoring the crackers, which have been "smashed to shit and back," the dairy cheese included is, as one can expect, extremely cheap, the three [[RunningGag (sad looking)]] onions included are in a plastic bag that are far larger than their size, as if they were an accessory for an action figure (with Stuart talking about how our technology lead us to this), and once he gets to [[https://youtu.be/iJyVhBSMVmc&t=115s what is supposedly a spreading knife]], he stops talking, examines it and says that "it looks like something that fell out of a skeleton's underpants."
Changed line(s) 420,421 (click to see context) from:
* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a Garden Gnome that doubles as a radio. He was already afraid of it, due to its creepy face, but when he actually tries it out: all that comes through is ominous music and a strange ticking noise.
-->'''Stuart:''' I don't think it is a radio. I think it just tunes directly into Hell.
-->'''Stuart:''' I don't think it is a radio. I think it just tunes directly into Hell.
to:
* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a Garden Gnome that doubles as a radio. He was already afraid of it, due to its creepy face, joking that it looked like "the face of somebody who snapped several years ago but when he actually tries has only just been able to afford an axe," and discusses that it out: "sounds terrifying" by distorting audio, turning it on for an example. As if on cue, all that comes through is ominous music and a strange ticking noise.
noise[[note]]Actually a distorted excerpt of "[[https://youtu.be/8O8dS6n1tas?&t=300 Nikana / Jours de Plaine]]", as [[https://www.reddit.com/r/Ashens/comments/s9m56a/i_dont_know_if_this_has_already_been_mentioned one user on Reddit found out]], but how perfect his reaction is to this moment seals it[[/note]].
-->'''Stuart:''' I don't think it is aradio. radio; I think it just tunes directly into Hell. Hell, and just plays those noises.
** Him pointing out the sticker claiming it was by a beauty company.
--->'''Stuart:''' Right; you've got a company that makes health and beauty products, and what you gonna release? How about a small, satanic radio gnome? Yeah, makes perfect sense to me.
-->'''Stuart:''' I don't think it is a
** Him pointing out the sticker claiming it was by a beauty company.
--->'''Stuart:''' Right; you've got a company that makes health and beauty products, and what you gonna release? How about a small, satanic radio gnome? Yeah, makes perfect sense to me.
Changed line(s) 497,499 (click to see context) from:
* His reaction to the [[BodyHorror Polly Pocket Cutant]] toys.
* A knock-off ''Minecraft'' figure he reviewed had a bad case of Engrish on the packaging, including "Be careful of the potential entang ement[sic] hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string ,wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product."
-->'''Ashens''': Hair of fingers? Is this aimed at bloody {{hobbits}} or something?
* A knock-off ''Minecraft'' figure he reviewed had a bad case of Engrish on the packaging, including "Be careful of the potential entang ement[sic] hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string ,wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product."
-->'''Ashens''': Hair of fingers? Is this aimed at bloody {{hobbits}} or something?
to:
* His reaction first [[https://youtu.be/VhT0mt7Hvrg Stock Clearance Special]] has him react to the ''Toys/PollyPocket'' Cutants toyline, in which he theorizes Polly became a cartoon villain who repurposes others as [[BodyHorror Polly Pocket Cutant]] toys.
inanimate object hybrids]]. (Despite the amusing premise for a kids toyline, this swiftly goes into [[NightmareFuel/StuartAshen nightmare fuel]].)
** Its second half features various ''ComicBook/GreenLantern'' action figures, where he [[{{Corpsing}} corpses]] at [[https://youtu.be/VhT0mt7Hvrg&t=900 Galius Zed's utterly ridiculous character design]].
** Ashen reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that [[FantasticMeasurementSystem his name sounds like]] "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]".
*A knock-off ''Minecraft'' figure The "[[https://youtu.be/_w5rkcaeXF8 Self-Assembly Iron-Vehicle]]" he reviewed had a bad case doesn't appear to have been put together with much care in terms of Engrish its box, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin being filled with all sorts of grammar errors]]. Such quotes on the packaging, including "Be careful box include "Rig out oneself construct fantastic models with your assembling hit", "Experience delight of participate in youself", that the world of steel tec steel construction System is "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment a world]] where you can uild your dreams", that their team is proud that "uou've" chose their models, that you should "Use with care to avoid damage to the eyes or other boby parts", "Do not use it other than for the specified purpose to avoid accidental hurts", that you should stop using it if it's broken or malformed to "ensure safaty", and make sure that anything is not clamped "by the spinning parts of the potential entang ement[sic] hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string ,wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product.paoduct."
** He also creates an advert jingle for it when he tries to fetch the manual for it.
---> "Assembled parts! Manual! Rig out oneself! Construct fantastic models with your assembly hit! (Ping!)"
** ...Unfortunately, he also realizes that it came with ''absolutely no instructions on how to put it together'', which is presumably what the "Puzzle" branding on the box was talking about. Even more ironic? Stuart first commented that "[[TemptingFate puzzle just implies they haven't given you any instructions]] [to build it]" before opening the box.
** The ending, where the auto-focus completely craps itself into a bunch of blurry orbs when he attempts to zoom in.
* A later ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' [[https://youtu.be/4YOZJqGpCVQ knockoff item reviewed in 2015]] shares the same "v" being replaced with "u" issue, converting Steve's name into "[[InconsistentSpelling Steue?]]" (yes, the question mark is attached to it) and Villager into "Uillger", alongside [[TranslationTrainwreck a comically terrible and broken translation]] on the back.
---> "Do the construction in the game, a lot of things damage, like building blocks in combination with together can easily make the cabin, but it coupled with imagination, can create their own city and the world, can experience the feeling of God by his own creation." ...And it was there that we 100% realized this is not a geunine Minecraft product.
** The warnings are similarly poorly translated, the most notable being that children must "Be careful of the potential entang ement[sic] hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string ,wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product."
-->'''Ashens''': Hair of fingers? Is this aimed at bloody{{hobbits}} hobbits or something?something?
* The [[https://youtu.be/kYRK5lzfb9w Thomas the Transformer Engine Review]] has Stuart looking at three bootlegged train figures which form a giant Franchise/{{Gundam}}-like HumongousMecha. Before he even looks at the toys, he questions the "politically incorrect" name of [[Characters/ThomasTheTankEngineHumans the Fat Controller / Sir Topham Hatt]], commenting that he would have gave him [[UnfortunateNames an even more offensive name]], like "[[AwesomeMcCoolName Sir Wankshaft Mcshitstain]]". When he gets and opens them, he looks at the shield that came with the green train, hypotheroizing its absurd shape may be so it can be used to stick it into the nostrils of two people at once, before he puts them all together. Once he does so, it ''[[https://youtu.be/kYRK5lzfb9w?t=501 falls off from its held leg]]''.
--> Wow. (right after he finishes saying it, [[EpicFail the toy falls apart from the leg that's being held]]) [[VerbalBackspace ...I retract that wow.]]
** After that, he then goes on to saying that an attack like having your legs drop off isn't very good. He soon shows the full, combined and transformed toys, commenting that "it looks like the Fat Controller- sorry, '''Sir Topham Hatt''', went absolutely shit-crazy, smashed all the trains together, and then made a giant robot out of their corpses in order to, uh, destroy the island of Sodor." He then proceeds to question if he got the name correctly before saying he would have named it the island of [[{{Pun}} Sod-off]].
* A suspiciously similar in-concept Thomas Transformer enters the channel in 2019, dubbed as "[[https://youtu.be/6Oq1lkseC1M The Greatest Robot In The World]]" with a design that incorporates the face of Thomas (with [[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Starscream fins]]) over a recolored [[Franchise/ToyStory Buzz Lightyear]]. As if its design wasn't absurd enough, it dances and [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext inexplicably plays]] ''Music/GangnamStyle'' when turned on.
** TheStinger where he tucks it in for bed and it turns on, with [[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand the music audibly slowing down]].
** Its second half features various ''ComicBook/GreenLantern'' action figures, where he [[{{Corpsing}} corpses]] at [[https://youtu.be/VhT0mt7Hvrg&t=900 Galius Zed's utterly ridiculous character design]].
** Ashen reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that [[FantasticMeasurementSystem his name sounds like]] "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]".
*
** He also creates an advert jingle for it when he tries to fetch the manual for it.
---> "Assembled parts! Manual! Rig out oneself! Construct fantastic models with your assembly hit! (Ping!)"
** ...Unfortunately, he also realizes that it came with ''absolutely no instructions on how to put it together'', which is presumably what the "Puzzle" branding on the box was talking about. Even more ironic? Stuart first commented that "[[TemptingFate puzzle just implies they haven't given you any instructions]] [to build it]" before opening the box.
** The ending, where the auto-focus completely craps itself into a bunch of blurry orbs when he attempts to zoom in.
* A later ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}'' [[https://youtu.be/4YOZJqGpCVQ knockoff item reviewed in 2015]] shares the same "v" being replaced with "u" issue, converting Steve's name into "[[InconsistentSpelling Steue?]]" (yes, the question mark is attached to it) and Villager into "Uillger", alongside [[TranslationTrainwreck a comically terrible and broken translation]] on the back.
---> "Do the construction in the game, a lot of things damage, like building blocks in combination with together can easily make the cabin, but it coupled with imagination, can create their own city and the world, can experience the feeling of God by his own creation." ...And it was there that we 100% realized this is not a geunine Minecraft product.
** The warnings are similarly poorly translated, the most notable being that children must "Be careful of the potential entang ement[sic] hazard with neck, hair of fingers if there are string ,wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product."
-->'''Ashens''': Hair of fingers? Is this aimed at bloody
* The [[https://youtu.be/kYRK5lzfb9w Thomas the Transformer Engine Review]] has Stuart looking at three bootlegged train figures which form a giant Franchise/{{Gundam}}-like HumongousMecha. Before he even looks at the toys, he questions the "politically incorrect" name of [[Characters/ThomasTheTankEngineHumans the Fat Controller / Sir Topham Hatt]], commenting that he would have gave him [[UnfortunateNames an even more offensive name]], like "[[AwesomeMcCoolName Sir Wankshaft Mcshitstain]]". When he gets and opens them, he looks at the shield that came with the green train, hypotheroizing its absurd shape may be so it can be used to stick it into the nostrils of two people at once, before he puts them all together. Once he does so, it ''[[https://youtu.be/kYRK5lzfb9w?t=501 falls off from its held leg]]''.
--> Wow. (right after he finishes saying it, [[EpicFail the toy falls apart from the leg that's being held]]) [[VerbalBackspace ...I retract that wow.]]
** After that, he then goes on to saying that an attack like having your legs drop off isn't very good. He soon shows the full, combined and transformed toys, commenting that "it looks like the Fat Controller- sorry, '''Sir Topham Hatt''', went absolutely shit-crazy, smashed all the trains together, and then made a giant robot out of their corpses in order to, uh, destroy the island of Sodor." He then proceeds to question if he got the name correctly before saying he would have named it the island of [[{{Pun}} Sod-off]].
* A suspiciously similar in-concept Thomas Transformer enters the channel in 2019, dubbed as "[[https://youtu.be/6Oq1lkseC1M The Greatest Robot In The World]]" with a design that incorporates the face of Thomas (with [[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Starscream fins]]) over a recolored [[Franchise/ToyStory Buzz Lightyear]]. As if its design wasn't absurd enough, it dances and [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext inexplicably plays]] ''Music/GangnamStyle'' when turned on.
** TheStinger where he tucks it in for bed and it turns on, with [[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand the music audibly slowing down]].
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* In his video about ComicBook/GreenLantern action figures, Ashen reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that [[FantasticMeasurementSystem his name sounds like]] "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]". In the same video, his reaction to Galius Zed's utterly ridiculous character design.
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** In the same video, he accidentally misreads Dilys' name as [[SpellMyNameWithAnS "Oilys"]].
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** In the same video, he accidentally misreads Dilys' name as [[SpellMyNameWithAnS "Oilys"]].[[InconsistentSpelling "Oilys"]] due to the font used.
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* Stuart once covered one of the ''Breath Blasters'', a very temporary line of [[NauseaFuel intentionally gross]] toys that when squeezed, released extremely potent, noxious and toxic odors[[note]]"Very temporary" [[NotHyperbole isn't hyperbole]]; as some could probably guess due to the buildup, [[MyLittlePanzer they turned out to actually be hazardous to the health of people it was used on]], and the toys were shortly recalled.[[/note]], and points out the {{Pun}} in that it "made scents" to collect all of them, but when he reaches the final line in that each of them "smells grosser than the rest", he questions the logic behind it.
-->"'Each smells grosser than the rest!' Um? [points finger towards line] 'Each smells grosser than the rest'? No, that's not physically possible! [[FridgeLogic Think about it!]] One of them's got to smell the most gross and one of them's got to smell the least gross or they wouldn't physically exist!"
-->"'Each smells grosser than the rest!' Um? [points finger towards line] 'Each smells grosser than the rest'? No, that's not physically possible! [[FridgeLogic Think about it!]] One of them's got to smell the most gross and one of them's got to smell the least gross or they wouldn't physically exist!"
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* In his video about ComicBook/GreenLantern action figures, Ashen reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that his name sounds like "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]". In the same video, his reaction to Galius Zed's utterly ridiculous character design.
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* In his video about ComicBook/GreenLantern action figures, Ashen reads the description for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilowog Kilowog]] and comments that [[FantasticMeasurementSystem his name sounds like like]] "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilo- the SI unit]] of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog racism]]". In the same video, his reaction to Galius Zed's utterly ridiculous character design.
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Of course, I've set myself up for the sound's origin to possibly be revealed in an outtake montage on the 26th/27th, but still
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* In 2022, both Dan and Stuart (without consulting each other) made custom advent calendars for each other, with Dan's being an IKEA Kallax shelf covered in a huge cardboard front depicting a nativity scene with Dan, Stuart and the grass masks - with the holes of the Kallax unit serving as the doors of the calendar - and Stuart's a standard custom calendar box setup.
** On day 19, as Dan is about to open the door on Stuart's calendar, he starts singing a song about a "space man" to himself. As he gets the door open and pulls out the item[[note]]an astronaut figurine[[/note]] inside:
--->'''Dan''': WHY IS THERE A SPACE MAN!?
** On day 19, as Dan is about to open the door on Stuart's calendar, he starts singing a song about a "space man" to himself. As he gets the door open and pulls out the item[[note]]an astronaut figurine[[/note]] inside:
--->'''Dan''': WHY IS THERE A SPACE MAN!?
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** At the end of day 2, Dan and Stuart are interrupted by a rather audible bang followed by a long whistle sound somewhere in the distance, prompting Dan to comment that "someone was just shot outside" before getting up to see what's going on. [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment What the noise could have been is not brought up on the following days.]]
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* The putrid [[https://youtu.be/73Y7qjM--zo 20-year-old Spider-Man Cake]] (made to tie in with ''Film/SpiderMan1'') has Stuart [[CallBack take a nod to one of his earlier toy specials]] where ''ComicBook/{{Batman}}'' was errorously referred to as Spider-Man (itself seen below on this page).
--> "...Peter Parker has become... '''Batman'''- no, '''Spider-Man'''!"
** [[https://youtu.be/KpkZwW31TMo The Spider-Cake song in its entirety.]] Not only is it unexpected, but the rhymes are equally ridiculous.
--> "...Peter Parker has become... '''Batman'''- no, '''Spider-Man'''!"
** [[https://youtu.be/KpkZwW31TMo The Spider-Cake song in its entirety.]] Not only is it unexpected, but the rhymes are equally ridiculous.
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* 2023 proves almost a repeat of 2019 in terms of Dan believing he's set himself up to win, only for his advent calendars (Franchise/{{Barbie}} and Series/OnlyFoolsAndHorses) to be full of cheap shit compared to Stuart's ("Military Men" and a children's science experiment calendar from a German edutainment show) having rather nice toys for the most part. Dan ends up doing puzzles from the punishment calendar nearly every day and finds it ''nicer'' than his actual calendars.
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* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRh4GrL86Zw&t=155 reaction]] to a [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything questionably placed]] snake on a [[Franchise/{{Harry Potter}} Voldemort]] figure.
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* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRh4GrL86Zw&t=155 reaction]] to a [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything questionably placed]] snake on a [[Franchise/{{Harry Potter}} [[Franchise/HarryPotter Voldemort]] figure.
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* Just when he thought the contents of a Loot Crate couldn't get any cheaper, the May crate offers him easily the cheapest lot in LC history, cool Power Rangers T-shirt notwithstanding: a ''Franchise/RickAndMorty'' puzzle, an [[Franchise/TheAvengers Avengers]] ice cube tray, ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' buttons, and worst of all, [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING!]] SHOELACES! He's completely exasperated and stunned, and it's hilarious.
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* Just when he thought the contents of a Loot Crate couldn't get any cheaper, the May crate offers him easily the cheapest lot in LC history, cool Power Rangers T-shirt notwithstanding: a ''Franchise/RickAndMorty'' ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'' puzzle, an [[Franchise/TheAvengers [[ComicBook/TheAvengers Avengers]] ice cube tray, ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' buttons, and worst of all, [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING!]] SHOELACES! He's completely exasperated and stunned, and it's hilarious.
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** His 'unprofessional' SpitTake [[https://youtu.be/Eaw4mPsyuic?t=570 reaction]] to the Creme Egg-lookalikes is hilarious in its own right. But funnier still was the [[OhCrap sobering silence]] when he realized that, lying in one of the cubicles of the package, [[ParanoiaFuel was a maggot]].[[labelnote:In actuality...]]the maggot was a prop left there to prank him, but Stuart beleived it because of how rancid they tasted.[[/labelnote]]
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** His 'unprofessional' SpitTake [[https://youtu.be/Eaw4mPsyuic?t=570 reaction]] to the Creme Egg-lookalikes is hilarious in its own right. But funnier still was the [[OhCrap sobering silence]] when he realized that, lying in one of the cubicles of the package, [[ParanoiaFuel was a maggot]].[[labelnote:In actuality...]]the maggot was a prop left there to prank him, but Stuart beleived believed it because of how rancid they tasted.[[/labelnote]]
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* [[https://youtu.be/ouvi-fwrfIY His talk about]] ''Hareraiser'', which he considers [[WorstWhateverEver the worst game ever made]], includes a moment where he [[AudienceParticipation asks the audience for who they think the celebrity in on]] ''Literature/{{Masquerade|1979}}'' was. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Someone says "Jimmy Savile"]] and Stuart responds with a genuinely relieved [[NoJustNoReaction "Thank goodness, no!"]].[[note]]The real answer is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamber_Gascoigne Bamber Gascoigne,]] the original quizmaster of ''Series/UniversityChallenge'' from 1962 to 1987.[[/note]]
-->'''Stuart''': Although, at [[TheSeventies the time]], that's entirely feasible, but they wanted somebody who was known for their intelligence -- [[TakeThat not Jimmy Savile]] -- and somebody who also I suppose could be trusted so they could say later "Look, we had a trustworthy person." And as it turns out, [[TakeThat that's]] ''[[TakeThat very]]'' [[TakeThat much not Jimmy Savile]].
-->'''Stuart''': Although, at [[TheSeventies the time]], that's entirely feasible, but they wanted somebody who was known for their intelligence -- [[TakeThat not Jimmy Savile]] -- and somebody who also I suppose could be trusted so they could say later "Look, we had a trustworthy person." And as it turns out, [[TakeThat that's]] ''[[TakeThat very]]'' [[TakeThat much not Jimmy Savile]].
to:
* [[https://youtu.be/ouvi-fwrfIY His talk about]] ''Hareraiser'', which he considers [[WorstWhateverEver the worst game ever made]], includes a moment where he [[AudienceParticipation asks the audience for who they think the celebrity in on]] ''Literature/{{Masquerade|1979}}'' was. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Someone says "Jimmy Savile"]] says]] "Creator/JimmySavile" and Stuart responds with a genuinely relieved [[NoJustNoReaction "Thank goodness, no!"]].[[note]]The real answer is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamber_Gascoigne Bamber Gascoigne,]] the original quizmaster of ''Series/UniversityChallenge'' from 1962 to 1987.[[/note]]
-->'''Stuart''': Although, at [[TheSeventies the time]], that's entirely feasible,but however, they wanted somebody who was known for their intelligence -- [[TakeThat not Jimmy Savile]] -- and somebody who also I suppose could be trusted so they could say later "Look, we had a trustworthy person." And as it turns out, [[TakeThat that's]] ''[[TakeThat very]]'' [[TakeThat much not Jimmy Savile]].
-->'''Stuart''': Although, at [[TheSeventies the time]], that's entirely feasible,
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--->'''Stuart:''' Now, I know what you're thinking: "Surely it's unfair to say that ''Hareraiser: Prelude'' and ''Hareraiser: Finale'' are terrible ''games'' because they're merely ''part'' of a puzzle, and I would have to be saying that the entire puzzle is terrible for it to count." Well, [[BluntYes yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.]] In fact, I'm gonna do it now. ''*clears throat*'' The whole puzzle is terrible. [[LampshadeHanging There we are, that's got rid of any worry about that.]] And I shall now attempt to show why I think that using information and reasoning, y'know, [[TakeThat just the way they don't in political discourse anymore.]]
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--->'''Stuart:''' Now, I know what you're thinking: "Surely it's unfair to say that ''Hareraiser: Prelude'' and ''Hareraiser: Finale'' are terrible ''games'' because they're merely ''part'' of a puzzle, and I would have to be saying that the entire puzzle is terrible for it to count." Well, [[BluntYes yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.]] In fact, I'm gonna do it now. ''*clears throat*'' The '''''The whole puzzle is terrible. terrible.''''' [[LampshadeHanging There we are, that's got rid of any worry about that.]] And I shall now attempt to show why I think that using information and reasoning, y'know, [[TakeThat just the way they don't in political discourse anymore.]]
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* Here's an interesting quote from [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_4R-v5WbUM Squidgy Wrestler Bubble Gum Truck]]:
-->'''Ashens:''' (''while looking at a wrestling figure with a wide open mouth'') Kind of looks like he's uhh... yeah... giving the Invisible Man a blowjob.
** Prior to this, as he was coming to the realization, he nearly put the wrestler's mouth to another wrestler figure's crotch.
-->'''Ashens:''' (''while looking at a wrestling figure with a wide open mouth'') Kind of looks like he's uhh... yeah... giving the Invisible Man a blowjob.
** Prior to this, as he was coming to the realization, he nearly put the wrestler's mouth to another wrestler figure's crotch.
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** During his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn1IuIaaVI8 review]] of Airfix action figures, Athens talks about the "Eagles" toyline and their nemesis literally named Dr. War, who looks like a bad Darth Vader cosplay with a minotaur helmet. The best part is when he reveals Dr. War's wrinkly face under his helmet and imitates him.
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'''Stuart:''' Oh my god! He looks really ill. What is going on?\\
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'''Stuart:''' Oh my god! He looks really ill.''really ill''. What is going on?\\
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** The last one is [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe Minion-themed]] and he is absolutely stunned after he sniffs it and finds out that it's so cheap, it has no fragrance, only smelling of alcohol.
--->"Finally. Your child can smell like an alcoholic with Minions."
** "And I also wasn't expecting the ''Shrek the Third'' to ''be the best''."
--->"Finally. Your child can smell like an alcoholic with Minions."
** "And I also wasn't expecting the ''Shrek the Third'' to ''be the best''."
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** There's also his comments about the "EldritchAbomination" cookie.
--->'''Ashens:''' Shub-Niggurath in food form. [[SarcasmMode Mmm-mmm]]!
--->'''Ashens:''' Shub-Niggurath in food form. [[SarcasmMode Mmm-mmm]]!
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NT7p7puwtU Shrek the Third, Pokémon and Minion eau de toilette]] has him looking at cheap movie-themed bottled fragrances, which he continually questions the existence of.
-->'''Ashens:''' ''WHY DOES THIS EXIST''?! ''WHY''?! What happened in the world that somebody thought: "You know what we need: [[WesternAnimation/ShrekTheThird the third Shrek]] to have its own pissing fragrance."
** Several times in the video he laughs at the absurdity of it all. Special mention goes to when he takes the cap off the Shrek one and finds it has no spray nozzle.
--->"Let me ''jam'' it into my arm and ''inject myself with eau de Shrek'' (''breaks down'')."
** Him getting noticeably annoyed at the Shrek bottle for only providing him a summary of the movie, rather than any info on what it is.
--->(''reading: "When Shrek married Princess Fiona"'') Wait. Why is that on a different line and diagonal or much bigger? Who cares. (''back to reading: "becoming the next King and Queen of Far Far Away wasn't part of the plan. Recruiting Donkey and Puss in Boots for a new quest, Shrek sets out to bring back the rightful heir to the throne."'') Nobody cares. (''"Back in Far Far Away, Fiona's jilted Prince Charming storms the city with an army of fairy tale villains to seize the throne. Fiona and a band of princesses must stop him to ensure there will be a kingdom left to rule."'') What's that got to do with some bloody scent suspended in alcohol?! Like, wha-what is going on?
-->'''Ashens:''' ''WHY DOES THIS EXIST''?! ''WHY''?! What happened in the world that somebody thought: "You know what we need: [[WesternAnimation/ShrekTheThird the third Shrek]] to have its own pissing fragrance."
** Several times in the video he laughs at the absurdity of it all. Special mention goes to when he takes the cap off the Shrek one and finds it has no spray nozzle.
--->"Let me ''jam'' it into my arm and ''inject myself with eau de Shrek'' (''breaks down'')."
** Him getting noticeably annoyed at the Shrek bottle for only providing him a summary of the movie, rather than any info on what it is.
--->(''reading: "When Shrek married Princess Fiona"'') Wait. Why is that on a different line and diagonal or much bigger? Who cares. (''back to reading: "becoming the next King and Queen of Far Far Away wasn't part of the plan. Recruiting Donkey and Puss in Boots for a new quest, Shrek sets out to bring back the rightful heir to the throne."'') Nobody cares. (''"Back in Far Far Away, Fiona's jilted Prince Charming storms the city with an army of fairy tale villains to seize the throne. Fiona and a band of princesses must stop him to ensure there will be a kingdom left to rule."'') What's that got to do with some bloody scent suspended in alcohol?! Like, wha-what is going on?
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* His use of [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime Lemongrab's]] {{Catchphrase}} every time a charging cable doesn't meet the requirements in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeuiA92fxZI Poundland iPhone Cable Extravaganza]].
-->'''Ashens:''' ''Unacceptable''! (''cuts the cable with scissors'')
** Upon finding one that has virtually no power to it:
--->'''Ashens:''' What are you doing? Are you just whispering to it about what you think electricity is?
-->'''Ashens:''' ''Unacceptable''! (''cuts the cable with scissors'')
** Upon finding one that has virtually no power to it:
--->'''Ashens:''' What are you doing? Are you just whispering to it about what you think electricity is?
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* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a Garden Gnome that doubles as a radio. He was already afraid of it, due to its creepy face, but when he actually tries it out: all that comes through is unsettling music and a strange ticking noise.
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* His [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG657Vks5Sk&t=603 review]] of a Garden Gnome that doubles as a radio. He was already afraid of it, due to its creepy face, but when he actually tries it out: all that comes through is unsettling ominous music and a strange ticking noise.
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* * During his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn1IuIaaVI8 review]] of Airfix action figures, Athens talks about the "Eagles" toyline and their nemesis literally named Dr. War, who looks like a bad Darth Vader cosplay with a minotaur helmet. The best part is when he reveals Dr. War's wrinkly face under his helmet and imitates him.
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* Stuart and Alec [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjmBd5F3H-U look at]] some official action figures of [[Franchise/StarWars Han Solo]] and the former sees a really bad modern one.
-->'''Stuart:''' They've got to be doing it right these days, surely.\\
'''Alec:''' You would hope.\\
'''Stuart:''' (''sees the figure'') [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh no]].\\
'''Alec:''' But then...\\
'''Stuart:''' (''chuckles'') ''Oh no''! What is ''this''?!\\
'''Alec:''' This. This is what happened. So. We'll go with the before and after. So, here is Han Solo in his glory days. (''brings the figure into frame and hands it to Stuart'')\\
'''Stuart:''' So, this is a modern figure?\\
'''Alec:''' Sculpted in permanent shrug with a protruding gut and droopy face.\\
'''Stuart:''' Oh my god! He looks really ill. What is going on?\\
'''Alec:''' This is a very strange figure.\\
'''Stuart:''' He looks like he's melting! He's got ''giant eyes''! Wha-what? Why is ''this'' is in my house?! It's ''horrible''. (''laughs'')
-->'''Stuart:''' They've got to be doing it right these days, surely.\\
'''Alec:''' You would hope.\\
'''Stuart:''' (''sees the figure'') [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh no]].\\
'''Alec:''' But then...\\
'''Stuart:''' (''chuckles'') ''Oh no''! What is ''this''?!\\
'''Alec:''' This. This is what happened. So. We'll go with the before and after. So, here is Han Solo in his glory days. (''brings the figure into frame and hands it to Stuart'')\\
'''Stuart:''' So, this is a modern figure?\\
'''Alec:''' Sculpted in permanent shrug with a protruding gut and droopy face.\\
'''Stuart:''' Oh my god! He looks really ill. What is going on?\\
'''Alec:''' This is a very strange figure.\\
'''Stuart:''' He looks like he's melting! He's got ''giant eyes''! Wha-what? Why is ''this'' is in my house?! It's ''horrible''. (''laughs'')
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Changed line(s) 162 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Ashens:''' ''(singing to camera) Delicious Mallows! Delicious Mallows! It's fetid and it's sweaty and it makes you want to puke; Delicious Mallows!'' Even before this, he called the green mallow "a breast that dropped off a zombie."
to:
--> '''Ashens:''' ''(singing to camera) Delicious Mallows! Delicious Mallows! It's fetid and it's sweaty and it makes you want to puke; Delicious Mallows!'' Mallows!''
** Even before this, he called the green mallow "a breast that dropped off a zombie."
** Even before this, he called the green mallow "a breast that dropped off a zombie."
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Added DiffLines:
** His observation about the Easter mallows' company logo.
--->'''Ashens:''' That's a heck of a logo they've got there. It appears to be comprised of racist caricatures of all known nations and creeds. Wow. [[SarcasmMode At least they're not picking on anyone]].
** When he sees that one of the mallows is holding an egg:
--->'''Ashen:''' I don't know what that is, but it's holding a time bomb, so I'm not going to argue with it.
--->'''Ashens:''' That's a heck of a logo they've got there. It appears to be comprised of racist caricatures of all known nations and creeds. Wow. [[SarcasmMode At least they're not picking on anyone]].
** When he sees that one of the mallows is holding an egg:
--->'''Ashen:''' I don't know what that is, but it's holding a time bomb, so I'm not going to argue with it.
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Added DiffLines:
** After looking at the margherita pizza:
--->'''Ashens:''' Maybe it's a horrifying mass of chemicals, maybe it's got futuristic packaging. I don't know. I don't want to eat it, and ''I'm not going to''. Hahaha. Cause... (''takes a breath and tosses the margherita pizza away'') I've got one ''even'' worse.
--->'''Ashens:''' Maybe it's a horrifying mass of chemicals, maybe it's got futuristic packaging. I don't know. I don't want to eat it, and ''I'm not going to''. Hahaha. Cause... (''takes a breath and tosses the margherita pizza away'') I've got one ''even'' worse.
