Funny / Struck by Lighting

• Two! Four! Six! Eight! Heard you like to fornicate!
• We're gonna spread that shit like Nutella.
• Also:
  Mom: You were on ADD medication as a kid.
  Carson: I thought I was just unusually calm and mature for my age.
  Mom: Nope. You were drugged. *Beat* I hid it in your food.
• "What US President's term was compared to Camelot?" "Clinton?" "No, that was Came-A-Lot."