History Funny / SeventeenSeventySix

-->'''Chase''': "Someone oughta ooooooopen up a window!"\\

-->'''Adams''': [[BigNever NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]]

** That this is met with Abigail's "more urgent" problem: a pin shortage in Massachusetts, which she demands that John resolve before she sends him saltpeter -- and wins.

* After listening to Franklin's lecture on how Adams is trying to talk Congress into something that's never been done before, and how no colony have ever forcibly broken with the mother country, Adams comments that he makes it sound like treason, leading to this exchange:

'''Franklin''': (''very put out'') Oh no, that was a ''new'' one.

-->'''Adams:''' Spoken modest-''Lee''. God help us!

-->'''John Adams:''' That was the most revolting display I have ever witnessed.\\

'''Hopkins''': (outraged) Bite your tongue man!

** Adams realizing that Jefferson and his wife were having the 18th century equivalent of a booty call:

* The RunningGag of New York abstaining. [[InsistentTerminology Courteously]]. This continues for most of the musical before Hancock finally loses his temper, rising and making a motion as if to hit ''the delegate'' with his fly-swatter.

*** For that matter, the [[ScrewTheWarWerePartying New Brunswick dispatch]] itself.

* Just as Adams rants about how well-prepared the Continental Army is, the courier walks in with a derisive dispatch, reporting how the army is in disarray. You can just see it Adams' expression what he expects.

'''John Adams:''' Not him, Franklin, ''you''! You and your infernal sense of deviousness! If you'd just come out and asked him straight, he'd have been gone half an hour ago!

* Adams' morose worry that for all his effort to make America free, his contributions would never be known (the quote comes straight out of history, too):

* This observation after roll call:
-->'''Hancock:''' I'm concerned over the continual absence of one-thirteenth of this Congress. Where is New Jersey?\\
'''Dickinson:''' Somewhere between New York and Pennsylvania.
* "FIRE WAGON!!" [=MacNair's=] delighted face and his trembling with excitement really make the scene. And then nearly the ''entire congress of grown men'' races outside like a bunch of children to see what's on fire.
-->'''Sherman''': It might be the city tavern!\\
'''Hopkins''': (outraged) Bite your tongue man!

* The RunningGag of New York abstaining. [[InsistentTerminology Courteously]]. This continues for most of the musical before Hancock finally loses his temper at it.

* The argument over whether the national bird is going to be [[{{Eagleland}} an eagle]], [[DisturbedDoves a dove]]... [[HistoricalInJoke or a turkey]].

* The argument over whether the national bird is going to be [[{{Eagleland}} an eagle]], [[DisturbedDoves a dove]]... [[HistoricalInJoke or a turkey]].[[note]][[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer A turkey really was Franklin's pitch for the national bird]].[[/note]]

* "Sit Down, John," where Congress goes between telling Adams to shut up and trying desperately to ignore him.

** For native Philadelphians, it's particularly funny given that Philly really is ''miserably'' humid during the summer.

-->'''Jefferson:''' Mr. Adams!\\

* Richard Henry Lee leaving and coming back to sing his theme song, and Adams and Franklin's reaction to him.
-->'''John Adams:''' That was the most revolting display I have ever witnessed.\\
'''Benjamin Franklin:''' They're warm-blooded people, Virginians.\\
'''John Adams:''' Not him, Franklin, ''you''! You and your infernal sense of deviousness! If you'd just come out and asked him straight, he'd have been gone half an hour ago!
* This observation after roll call:
-->'''Hancock:''' I'm concerned over the continual absence of one-thirteenth of this Congress. Where is New Jersey?\\
'''Dickinson:''' Somewhere between New York and Pennsylvania.
* Combined moment of Awesome and Funny: "[[BigNever NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]]"

* "Are you calling me a madman, you...you ''fribble''?!"
-->'''Dickinson:''' Are you calling me a coward?\\
'''Adams:''' Yes! Coward!\\
'''Dickinson:''' Madman!\\
'''Adams:''' Landlord!\\
'''Dickinson:''' [[EvilLawyerJoke LAWYER!]]\\
''[cane fight ensues]''
** Made funnier by the fact that Adams ''actually was a lawyer''. ''[[HypocriticalHumor As was Dickinson]].''
** Also "fribble" is an actual word along with piddle, twiddle, pish posh, [[HaveAGayOldTime gay, and queer]].

** After Adams and Franklin call back at Jefferson's home after his night with his wife:
--->'''Adams:''' This is positively indecent!\\
'''Franklin:''' Oh, John, they're young and they're in love.\\
'''Adams''': Not them, Franklin -- us! Standing out here -- waiting for them to -- I mean, what will people think?\\
'''Franklin''': Don't worry, John. the history books will clean it up.
** Franklin's first question, upon learning his son was arrested by Revolutionary forces: "Is he unharmed?" After a yes, his second question: "Tell me, why did they arrest the little bastard?" Also doubles as a HistoricalInJoke as his son actually ''was'' a bastard (in the "parents are unmarried" sense).
* Lee's [[{{LargeHam}} over-Lee enthusiastic attitude.]]
-->'''Adams:''' Spoken modest-''Lee''. God help us!
* Jefferson's initial failure to write the Declaration.
-->'''Adams''': Do you mean to tell me that it is not yet finished?\\
'''Jefferson''': No, sir. I mean to say that it is not yet begun.\\
'''Adams''': Good ''God.'' A whole week! The entire earth was created in a week!\\
'''Jefferson''': Someday, you must tell me how you did it.\\
'''Adams''': ''Disgusting.'' Look at him, Franklin! Virginia's most famous lover!\\
'''Jefferson''': Virginia abstains.
** The scene where he's trying to write: writes a little, then crumples up the paper. Then he writes even ''less'' on the next sheet before crumpling it, and finally, he just stares at the next one before crumpling it.
--->'''Jefferson''': Damn the man. God ''damn'' the man.
* "[[LargeHam A RRRRRACE]] [[ViolentGlaswegian OF BARRRRBARIANS!?]]"
* Adams realizing that Jefferson and his wife were having the 18th century equivalent of a booty call:
-->'''Adams''': Good God! Y'mean they -- They're going to -- ''In the middle of the afternoon??''\\
'''Franklin''': Not everybody's from Boston, John!
* "This is a REVOLUTION, dammit! We're going to have to offend SOMEBODY!"

* Adams being a combination of extremely awkward and irritated when Martha arrives and she and Jefferson start [[MakeOutKids kissing so passionately]] they become oblivious to anything else.
-->'''John:''' ''[pointedly looking away from the scene]'' Jefferson, kindly present me to your wife! ''[looks back at them]'' She ''is'' your wife, isn't she?
** The slightly more worldly Franklin, meanwhile, has the kind of "aww, how sweet" look on his face normally reserved for newborn kittens.
--->'''Franklin:''' Of course she is -- look at the way they fit!
** Come morning when the shutters are still closed, the two men have a brief debate:
--->'''Adams''': Dare we call?
--->'''Franklin''': ''(boldly)'' A congressman dares anything. ''(He steps aside, gesturing)'' Go ahead.
* "The Lees of Old Virginia." Franklin's wheedling, Lee serving [[LargeHam a large helping of ham]] along with a HurricaneOfPuns quite generous-''Lee'', and Adams as a wholly unwilling participant in the entire number. After it's over, he calls it "the most revolting display I ever witnessed." Not Lee, ''Franklin'', for inciting it. It gets even better in the movie: when Lee returns for his unexpected reprise (pulling off an OffScreenTeleportation, considering he rode out the front gate of the garden and emerges from a bush behind Franklin and Adams about fifteen seconds later) Adams winds up falling into the fountain, Franklin nearly falls in as well trying to get him out, and Adams tries and fails to hit Lee with his cane out of sheer frustration.
* The argument over whether the national bird is going to be [[{{Eagleland}} an eagle]], [[DisturbedDoves a dove]]... [[HistoricalInJoke or a turkey]].[[note]][[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer A turkey really was Franklin's pitch for the national bird]].[[/note]]
* If you ever believe that shows like ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' are corrupting Americans, take some twisted comfort in the fact that our founding fathers were finding amusement in comparing themselves to castrated bulls.
* This exchange between Franklin and Adams:
-->'''Franklin''': Treason is a charge invented by winners as an excuse for hanging the losers.\\
'''Adams''': I have more to do than stand here listening to you quote yourself.\\
'''Franklin''': No, that was a new one!
* "Judge Wilson, in your eagerness to be loved you seem to have forgotten that Pennsylvania [[SuddenlyShouting CANNOT SECOND ITS OWN MOTION!"]]
* Thomas Jefferson's finally written the Declaration! Great! Now, once Congress has heard it, comes the ''editing'' process. Poor Adams gets more unhappy as his writing is criticized and trimmed.
* Just before the extreme darkness of "Molasses to Rum", we get one last chuckle when one of the Southern delegates asks Mr. Thompson to read back one of the charges against King George, the one about waging cruel war against nature. Thompson runs down a series of paragraphs accusing the king of all sorts of nasty things on his way to getting there, using the same tone one would use for a shopping list.
* Just as Adams rants about how well-prepared the Continental Army is, the courier walks in with a derisive dispatch, reporting how the army is in disarray. You can just see it Adams' expression what he expects.
* Adams, about Congress: "Fat George has declared us in rebellion! Why in bloody hell can't they??"
* Poor Thomson's frustration visibly mounts with [[BeleagueredBureaucrat every interruption of his attempts to tally the votes]] on Virginia's resolution. When Adams, of all people, does it too, he can't help but make a mild protest.

* Dickinson mocks the idea of the Declaration, summing it up as an attempt to convince the world that an unlawful rebellion is legal. Franklin tells him he's shocked at Dickinson's comment; everyone knows that rebellion is always lawful when it's "''our'' rebellion." It's only when it's "''their'' rebellion" that it becomes unlawful.

* "FIRE WAGON!!" [=MacNair's=] delighted face and his trembling with excitement really make the scene. And then nearly the ''entire congress of grown men'' races outside like a bunch of children to see what's on fire.
-->'''Sherman''': It might be the city tavern!\\
'''Hopkins''': (outraged) Bite your tongue man!
* Adams' morose worry that for all his effort to make America free, his contributions would never be known (the quote comes straight out of history, too):
-->'''Franklin''': Don't worry, John. The history books will clean it up.\\
'''Adams''': It doesn't matter. I won't be in the history books anyway -- only you. Franklin did this and Franklin did that and Franklin did some other damned thing. Franklin smote the ground, and out sprang... UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington, fully grown and on his horse. Franklin then electrified him with his miraculous lightning rod, and the three of them -- Franklin, Washington, ''and'' the horse -- conducted the entire Revolution by themselves.\\
({{beat}})\\
'''Franklin''': I like it!

* John and Abigail's first song in "Piddle, Twiddle, and Resolve", both of them completely unimpressed with the other's problems:
** In response to the long list of various illnesses their children are afflicted with, Adams replies "Madam, what else is new?"[[labelnote:*]]Granted, in RealLife he was more worried about these things.[[/labelnote]]
** When John demands to know why the ladies aren't making saltpeter, Abigail points out that he neglected to tell them ''how''.
--->'''John:''' By treating sodium nitrate with potassium chloride, of course!\\
'''Abigail:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh yes, of course.]]\\
(The stage directions for these lines in the play are [[MarsAndVenusGenderContrast "Impatiently" and "A woman"]], respectively)
** That this is met with Abigail's "more urgent" problem: a pin shortage in Massachusetts, which she demands that John resolve before she sends him saltpeter -- and wins.
** John's lament at God. He lists all the different disasters and plagues that might have afflicted the American continent (all of which he claims he could've taken stoically), concluding with: "But no, you've sent us ''Congress!'' Good God, sir, was that fair?"

* Jefferson sings along with the delegates during "But Mr. Adams", happily helping support the other committee members' reasons not to be the drafter, until he realizes that only leaves Adams, who's "obnoxious and disliked," and himself, meaning he couldn't leave for Virginia.
-->'''Jefferson:''' Mr. Adams!\\
Leave me ''aloooooone!''
* "Sit Down, John," where Congress goes between telling Adams to shut up and trying desperately to ignore him.
-->'''Chase''': "Someone oughta ooooooopen up a window!"\\
'''Adams''': "Will you listen to me and forget the window?!"\\
'''Congress''': "It's ninety degrees, have mercy, John, please! It's hot as hell, in Philadel-phia!"
** For native Philadelphians, it's particularly funny given that Philly really is ''miserably'' humid during the summer.
* At the beginning of the movie:
-->'''[=MacNair=]:''' Better get yourself back down to Congress, Mister Adams. Gettin' ready to vote, and they said they can't settle such an important question without Massachusetts bein' there.\\
'''Adams:''' ''(bored)'' [[SarcasmMode I can just imagine.]] All right, what burning issue are we voting on this time?\\
'''[=MacNair=]:''' ''(earnest)'' On whether or not to grant General Washington's request... that all members of the Rhode Island Militia be required to wear matchin' uniforms.\\
'''Adams:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ... oh, good God.]]

* "I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress!"

* When the Continental Congress adjourns so the Committee of Five can write the Declaration of Independence, poor Jefferson tries to get a word in edgewise. Key word ''tries.''
-->'''Adams''': Move to adjourn.
-->'''Franklin''': I second!
-->'''Jefferson''': Mr. Hancock, please, I have to see my wife--
-->'''John Hancock''': [[NoIndoorVoice MOOOOOOVED AND SECONDED ANY OBJECTIIIIIIIIONS?]]
-->'''Jefferson''': ''(Literally standing right in front of Hancock)'' I have objections! I have ''lots'' of objections--
-->'''Hancock''' ''(completely ignoring him with a massive grin on his face)'' SO MOVED! CONGRESS STANDS ADJOURNED!

* Adams griping about Franklin quoting himself.
--> '''Franklin:''' No, that was a new one!

* The entirety of "But Mr. Adams", the song where the Founding Fathers shove the writing of their lame excuse to delay Congress from taking a vote (today more commonly known as The Declaration of Independence) on Thomas Jefferson, but the ending is absolutely hilarious. Also, any production that does not include ludicrous dancing is not doing it right.
-->'''Jefferson:''' Mr. Adams! Damn you, Mr. Adams!\\
You are [[PhraseCatcher obnoxious and disliked]], that cannot be denied!\\
Once again, you stand between me and my lovely bride...\\
'''Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman:''' Love-lee briiiiiide...\\
'''Jefferson:''' Ohhh, Mr. Adams!\\
You are driving me to homicide!\\
'''F, L, & S:''' ''HOMICIIIIIDE! HOMICIIIIIDE!''\\
'''Adams:''' '''''[[BigShutUp QUIET!!!]]''''' Jefferson! Mr. Jefferson!\\
'''F, L, & S:''' We may see murderrr! Yeeee-eeeeeet...!

'''John:''' ''[five feet eight]'' I!\\

'''John:''' Yes!!!\\
'''Jefferson:''' [leaning down to look Adams in the eye]: ''' ''How?'' '''\\
'''John''': ...by ''physical force,'' if necessary.

* [[RunningGag New York abstains.]] [[InsistentTerminology Courteously]].

* Thomas Jefferson's finally written the Declaration! Great! Now, once Congress has heard it, comes the ''editing'' process. Poor Thomas gets more unhappy as his writing is criticized and trimmed.

* "The Lees of Old Virginia." Franklin's wheedling, Lee serving [[LargeHam a large helping of ham]] along with a HurricaneOfPuns quite generous-''Lee'', and Adams as a wholly unwilling participant in the entire number. After it's over, he calls it "the most revolting display I ever witnessed." Not Lee, ''Franklin'', for inciting it. It gets even better in the movie: when Lee returns for his unexpected reprise, Adams winds up falling into the fountain.

* "Are you calling me a madman, you...you ''fribble''?!

* Pretty much everything Ben Franklin says. He was pretty much our nation's first DeadpanSnarker.

-->'''Sherman''': It might be the city tavern!
-->'''Hopkins''': (outraged) Bite your tongue man!\\

** John's lament at God. He lists all the different disasters and plagues that might have afflicted the American continent, concluding with: "But no, you've sent us ''Congress!'' Good God, sir, was that fair?"

'''Adams:''' ''(bored)'' I can just imagine. All right, what burning issue are we voting on this time?\\

* Just as Adams rants about how well-prepared the Continental Army, the courier walks in with a derisive dispatch, reporting how the army is in disarray. You can just see it Adams' expression what he expects.

* "The Lees of Old Virginia." Franklin's wheedling, Lee serving [[LargeHam a large helping of ham]] along with a HurricaneOfPuns quite generous-''Lee'', and Adams as a wholly unwilling participant in the entire number. After it's over, he calls in "the most revolting display I ever witnessed." Not Lee, ''Franklin'', for inciting it. It gets even better in the movie: when Lee returns for his unexpected reprise, Adams winds up falling into the fountain.