Funny / Secret Invasion (2023)

Episode One: Resurrection

• Fury says he's going "out for a walk..." In the middle of the night. In Moscow. Talos speaks for everyone noting "I think you're going to stand out."
• Fury congratulates Talos on being strong for a 136-year-old. Talos states that he's barely in his 40's in Human terms, and hasn't even gone on a Mid-Life Crisis shopping spree yet. He asks Fury what he got on his and Fury answers: "The Avengers".
• Talos responds to Fury calling Talos ugly with "I'll have you know, I'm considered quite good-looking by my kind." Fury responds that he knows a lot of good-looking Skrulls, and Talos isn't one of them, before Hill gets them to focus on the task at hand.
  • This gets even better after The Reveal at the end of episode 2.
• Fury is taken by Sonya's men.
  Sonya: So a black man wandering the streets of Moscow and I think it's either Nick Fury or the ghost of Paul Robeson. Remove his hood. [Fury is unmasked] Oh, damn, I was hoping for a rendition of "Ol' Man River."
• Sonya knows Fury's drink order... but hasn't forgiven him for destroying her apartment, so serves him "cheap swill" instead. He still drinks it anyway.

Episode Two: Promises

• It's in the middle of a dramatic scene where Fury's friendship with Talos is severely shaken when he finds out the latter brought a million Skrulls to Earth without his knowledge, but his choice of words is still funny:
  Fury: Have you lost your reptilian-ass mind?!
• As Gravik is entering the Skrull Council meeting, G'iah tries to follow him in, but is blocked by the guard. She glares, so Gavrik sighs, give her a gun and tells her she can shoot the guard if he's not back in an hour. The guard is surprised, but then smirks, clearly thinking it's a joke. It's clearly not, and G'iah is clearly ready to do it.
  • Sonya calmly breaks the lock and enters the "butcher's shop." The man behind the counter—who knows that they have a captive in the back—just stares.
    "Butcher:" [in Russian] The door was locked.
    Sonya: [in English] Yes, and now that the door is unlocked, what does that tell you about me and doors?
    "Butcher:" Who are you?
    Sonya: I'm above your pay grade. Where is he?
    "Butcher:" [points]
    Sonya: Thank you.
  • Sonya finds some men torturing a captive Skrull.
    Sonya: Didn't your mother ever warn you you'd lose an eye beating your meat like that?
  • The head spy tries to throw Sonya out, only for her to hand him a phone with a call from his boss. He sounds like a child being told to give up his toys, then struggles to get his jacket off the meathook.
  • Right before the assault, the boss orders one of his men to get him a sausage from the front.
• A Freeze-Frame Bonus, one of Fury's alias in his files? "Son of a bitch".

Episode Three: Betrayed

• Even after all his years of living on Earth, Talos can't wrap his head around the relationship between humans and dogs, of all things. Namely, he doesn't understand what kind of relationship involves one party cleaning up the other's poop.
• Talos and Fury bickering like an old married couple during the whole episode.
  Talos: What'd you stop for?
  Fury: We're here.
  Talos: At Bob's?
  Fury: Yeah, Bob. Remember Bob? The guy that'll launch a nuclear attack?
  Talos: All right, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that.
  Fury: No, that's 'cause you were too busy riding the "we did that" wave. You got any more abuse you wanna hurl my way? Or are you ready to go in here and take care of Bob?
  Talos: And then I get to say, "We did that."
  Fury: We can do that.
• When Fury calls Sonya to get more info about Neptune, she is still ticked Fury bugged her owl clock (nicknamed "Hooty"), and as a bit of petty revenge has put an eyepatch on it and named it after Fury.
  Sonya: Whoever this is, you shouldn't have this number.
  Fury: What do you know about a British submarine called Neptune?
  Sonya: First, I want an apology.
  Fury: I just gave away the only one of those I had today!
  Sonya: Well, you'll have to double down, 'cause you rather rudely attached a nasty bug to my beloved Hoot.
  Fury: Tell me that's not the name of that owl clock.
  Sonya: No, not anymore. Has a new name now. Nicholas Fury. He has a rather dashing little eyepatch now.
• Talos gets grabbed on the mission, so Fury has to save him. Talos says nothing.
  Fury: [mockingly] "Thanks for saving my life, Fury." "No problem, Talos. Any time."

Episode Four: Beloved

• Fury and Priscilla have a tense face-off, each firing a gun...and missing.
  Fury: I don't know if this is a sign we should get divorced or we should renew our vows.
• As dire as the implications of a Skrull replacing Rhodey are, the fact that her true self is introduced doing a somewhat silly shower dance as she cleans herself up is darkly funny in some aspects.
• Fury meets with "Rhodey" who Fury already knows has been replaced by a Skrull as Fury claims there's a mole by the president.
  Rhodey: How close?
  Fury: Closer than you and I are right now.
• When Rhodey asks if Fury's offered bottle of Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve whiskey has been poisoned, Fury tells him that he doesn't have to drink the offered shot, but if Rhodey wastes any of it by pouring it in the sink, Fury will have to shoot him on general principle.
• After taking Fury's fancy whiskey, "Rhodey" meets the President and gives him some unsolicited advice on dealing with the Russians.
  President Ritson: Did you pre-game for our bilateral with the Russians with half a bottle of bourbon? [...] Let's make sure the Colonel here has a large coffee for the road.
  • Rhodey walks away embarrassed, smelling his own breath and asking his bodyguard for a mint.

Episode Five: Harvest

• Sonya walks into her boss's office, shoots him in the hand, and when security comes in, points out that he's bleeding purple.
  Sonya: I must inform you that the SIS has no official policy on killing Skrulls. So unless you want me to enact my personal preference right now, you should start talking.
• Sonya finally finds the doctor in charge of the Super Skrull project. She casually says "Hello, Skrulls!" while the husband points a gun at her.
  Dr. Dalton: Who are you?
  Sonya: I think a more apt question would be, who would you like me to be? I'm staggeringly versatile. To give you a couple of examples, I'm very good at being your bestie. I'm also devilishly good at being not your bestie. It's really just a matter of taste. Cake or death.
  Victor: [cocks shotgun] Get out.
  Sonya: Now, this is quite the clerical error. Nigel, we're going to have to have someone in admin either fired, or, you know, shot, because this is becoming a bit of a health hazard.
  Victor: No, my name's Victor.
  Sonya: Of course. Nigel's the one with his silencer pressed against the base of your skull.
  Nigel: [puts gun to base of Victor's skull; Victor flinches]
  Sonya: Ooh. There he is. Would you like to take a seat?
• After Sonya gets everything she needs and torches the lab, Victor grabs his wife and puts a gun to her head, refusing to let her betray Gravik.
  Sonya: The males in my species are very similar. If they're not busy gaslighting you, they're threatening you with murder. That's what all the podcasts are about. [shoots Victor]
• Fury meets with Natasha's old black market contact. Mason gets Fury a jet (Fury complains it's not the Helicarrier), Fury refuses to say "thank you" ("you're welcome"), and then he tells Fury to take a nap ("you seem a little grumpy").
• Fury sneaks through security using the nano-mask from Winter Soldier. He has to cover up the rest of his skin, though, because his disguise is a white guy.
  Sonya: Let me check I understand this. So, a billion dollars of research and development, and all the Widow's Veil can cloak is your face? What about the rest of you?
  Fury: That's the newer version, not this one.
  Sonya: Huh.
• When Sonya turns on her car, the radio plays pop rap. Fury does a Double Take.
  Fury: This is what we're doing?
  Sonya: Yes, this is what we're doing. Seat belt, please.
• Sonya gave Rhodey everything he asked for when he called, because she didn't know he was a Skrull. She is hilariously offended.
  Sonya: Who isn't a Skrull these days?
• Once again, Fury is hiding things in his own grave. This time, he's got a whole nearby tomb stocked with gear. He casually says he's got graves like this all over the place.
  Fury: You know what they say, dead men need options.

Episode Six: Home

• Sonya gets the drop on Skrull Rhodey by the simple method of hiding behind the door.
  Sonya: No checking behind the doors? You really are a Skrull.
• Sonya's alliance with G'iah is worth a chuckle.
  G'iah: And let me guess, you're doing this out of the kindness of your heart?
  Sonya: [chuckles] Oh, God, no, don't be silly.
  G'iah: My father entered into a deal like that. It didn't end so well.
  Sonya: Yes, let's be sure not to repeat the mistakes of Talos and Fury and leave love and friendship out of this.