History Funny / PrideAndPrejudice

* The Netherfield ball takes place when Elizabeth absolutely hates Mr. Darcy. So how does she end up dancing with him? When Darcy asks her for the next dance, she's so stunned, she says yes without knowing what she's doing! As soon as her brain catches up with her, she essentially starts ranting to Charlotte, "What the f*** did I just do?!"

* If Elizabeth had just listened to Charlotte in the beginning, the entire book could have been avoided. That girl noticed Darcy was in love practically before he did.

* When teased by Elizabeth, Darcy admits that he's an introvert, and doesn't have the skill of talking to strangers. Elizabeth, the Queen of Snark, fires back that her hands didn't have the skill of playing the piano, either--that's why she ''practices.''

--->"I told you the other day I would never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word."

** Darcy further asserts that Bingley's mind is too easily changed, claiming that he could be all prepared to go on a trip but would cancel it entirely at a word from a friend even if he were on the verge of leaving. Elizabeth counters that she'd take that as a positive quality indicating the trust he has in his friend; this sparks an argument which leads Darcy to say with exasperation that they'll have to establish all the particulars of the friendship, including the heights and weights of both parties, before they can draw any conclusions.

** She then asks Elizabeth to forgive her if she's being too presumptuous - or at least to still allow her to visit at Pemberley in the future.

** It's even funnier when you know that when she offers to "mend his pen", she's essentially offering to give him a hand job, "mending one's pen" being common slang for a hand job at the time. Which, in turn, makes Darcy's reply of "I always mend my own [pen]" [[UnusualEuphemism downright]] [[ADateWithRosiePalms hysterical]].

* Mrs Bennet doesn't know what "never" mean.

* When Mr Collins first writes to Mr Bennet, he admits that he was unsure about it for a long time-- Mr Bennet and Mr Collins' father had quarreled in the past, and while Mr Collins was sorry about that, he was afraid that it might be disloyal of him to extend an olive-branch to someone it had always "pleased [his father] to be at odds with."

--->"I told you I would never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word."

* Mrs Bennet doesn't know what words mean.
--->"I am determined never to speak of it again. I told my sister Phillips so the other day."

** She then asks Elizabeth to forgive her if she's being too presumptuous - or at least to still allow her to visit at Pemberley in the future.

* In her letter to Elizabeth, Mrs Gardiner observes that they've heard various personality flaws attributed to Mr Darcy, but based on his behavior during the whole debacle with Lydia and Wickham, she concludes that his true defect is ''obstinacy''.

* Darcy and Elizabeth's encounter at Pemberley. It's a fraught encounter, with him struggling to improve himself after her rejection of his proposal and her slowly coming to realise he's a good man she could love ... ''but'' the scene could accurately be summed up as "Man is so intimidated by woman he apologises for showing up in his own house."

* The fact that Darcy spent so much time telling Georgiana how great Elizabeth is. She is powerless to think Elizabeth anything but "lovely and amiable," because Mr. Darcy really did just go off about how wonderful the woman who rejected him is.

* An early conversation between Bingley, Darcy, and Elizabeth on the subject of personality flaws has Bingley talk about his own impulsivity as a fault, saying that he could be riding off to town in a moment if the mood took him. Darcy replies that Bingley is listing a "fault" that he is secretly proud of, or in other words, humblebragging.

* The part in the book (and the movies) when Mrs Bennet asks Mr Bennet to force Elizabeth to marry Mr Collins, only to have him turn around with this line:
--> "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. --Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins, and I will never see you again if you ''do''."
* When Elizabeth relates Mr Wickham's tale of woe to Jane, Jane will not believe that Mr Bingley's dear friend Mr Darcy would be as cruel as described, and attributes the whole thing to a misunderstanding between the two men. Jane suggests that "interested people" have misrepresented Wickham and Darcy to each other, prompting a teasing reply from Elizabeth.

* After the whole mess with Lydia is settled, Mr. Bennet declares that Wickham is going to be his favorite of the husbands just for the entertainment value.

* The scene at Netherfield where Mr Darcy is trying to write a letter to his sister and his ClingyJealousGirl Caroline Bingley constantly interrupts him to compliment his handwriting, the evenness of his lines, observe how fast he writes, or add her own message to his sister... while remaining completely oblivious to her target's determination to ignore her as best as he can!

* There's also the scene where Mr Collins proposes and accepts Elizabeth's answers without her responding. She tries to turn him down gently, but he's not worried. He's heard that some women turn down proposals they plan on accepting. Sometimes even three times. It takes quite a while for her to convince him she's not going to marry him.

* Mr Darcy's first proposal, in its way, is hilarious. The fact that he went in there, laid down a laundry list of highly insulting reasons why proposing to Elizabeth would be a terrible mistake and a disgrace, and then still fully expects that she's going to say yes! Not only that, he accuses ''her'' [[HypocriticalHumor of being uncivil]] when she is consequently quite chilly in declining. (He, of course, is just being ''honest''.)

** Elizabeth's views on love in general are often hilarious:
-->'''Elizabeth:''' (regarding Wickham after he'd started courting someone else): "I am now convinced that I have never been much in love, for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion, I should at present detest his very name and wish him all manner of evil."
* After obtaining Mr Bennet's consent for the marriage, Elizabeth informs him that it was Darcy and not Mr Gardiner who saved Lydia. In his typical flippant fashion he is delighted with this news:

** Then he concludes by sitting down and saying "If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure."
* Lydia and Wickham's imposition on the rest of their family. First, she has the brass nerve to ask Elizabeth (the new Mrs Darcy) for money. Though of course Mr Wickham could never call on Pemberly, they ''did'' stay often at Netherfield whenever they had to find new lodgings (which was often) and so outstayed their welcome that Bingley would actually talk of, maybe, giving them a hint to leave.
* Georgiana, though she quickly came to love Elizabeth as a sister, was at first astonished to hear the "lively, sportive" way that she spoke to Darcy -- wives can take liberties with their husbands that their little sisters cannot.

-->'''Elizabeth:''' Why, I must confess that I love him better than I do Bingley. I am afraid you will be angry.

** Then he concludes by sitting down and saying "If any young men call for Mary or Kitty, send them right in."

--> "I defy even Sir William Lucas to produce such a son-in-law."

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering the neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some or one of their daughters."

However little known the feelings of views of such a man may be on his first entering the neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some or one of their daughters."