Funny / Outriders

UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD

• "A Bad Day" begins with the death of a friendly old man and the protagonist decides to get revenge with the same conviction one would have when buying groceries. When they get to the hideout of the gang leader, he assumes that they're there to rescue Eva, but the protag sincerely doesn't care about her. Eva manages to escape but gets reprimanded for ruining the moment.
• While climbing a particular ledge, your character stops grunting in exertion to wonder why everything is suddenly so quiet. Even the background music is entirely missing!
  • This ledge leads you to where you can find Lt. McCain. Trapped under rubble, he's rescued by an enemy who decided to ignore their differences and help each other out, who he then immediately murders. Before he can finish justifying it, he's Killed Mid-Sentence. The player character bemoans the quest's pointlessness.
  Outrider: (extremely pissed off and tired) "Why do I even bother?"
• The Side Quest "The Outriders' Legacy" starts out on a somber note. You find a hanged Outrider and a note about a secret enclave of Outriders. The only clue is a key that he left with a prostitute named Lucy. She makes a deal with you, informing you that her friend, Monique, was dragged away by an Altered and promises to give you the key if you rescue her. Upon tracking Monique down, you find her... sweeping floors and yelling at the Altered about how hard she works to keep the house clean and he "comes stomping in here covered in blood and guts" and about how she thought that being married to an Altered would be exciting. Meanwhile, the Altered is yelling at her for her perceived ingratitude over how he rescued her from a life of prostitution. The Outrider then decides to just walk away and concludes that the Altered is likely in more danger from Monique than the other way around.
  • At the end of the quest, The Outrider ends up finding, and accidentally activating, an honest-to-god thermonuclear bomb! When asking Zahedi what to do, Zahedi seriously suggests finding a refrigerator and hiding inside of it.
    Zahedi: The lead will protect you from the radiation!
    The Outrider: That's the STUPIDEST thing I've ever heard!
    Zahedi: I saw it somewhere!
• While the Outrider is scouting the anomalous forest from the prologue, Jakub asks them if they remember the tunes he used to play in the truck all the time. He starts beatboxing shortly after, much to the Outrider's dismay.
  Outrider: Jakub. Jakub, plea— please, stop. I'm disconnecting.
• The Exchange between the Outrider and Juno when turning in the "Predator to Prey" sidequest is pure gold.
  Juno: We heard the screams for miles! How did you do it?
  Outrider: I hunted it. I found it. And I went Medieval on it's ass!
  Juno: You... what?
  Outrider: I went mediev- Outrider visually trying to mentally process the complete ignorance of Earth history on display It... uh... refers to a period of earth's history where there were knights... and dragons... Well, nevermind.
  • Juno similarly expresses confusion at the Outrider's mention of "exploding spiders" in one Expedition that takes place near her mountaintop encampment. The Outrider explains that spiders are the closest analogue he could think of to the exploding creatures, and when Juno asks if they were dangerous on Earth, the Outrider snidely remarks that "one half of every married couple on Earth was trained in their disposal".