- The entire chase sequence at the end, which includes a 50 foot tall blonde woman carrying a panicking orangutan to the top of a tower. C.M.O.T. Dibbler thinks it's an impressive sight, but can't shake the feeling that something's not quite right about the scene...
- Then the two wizards come soaring out of the sky atop a broomstick shooting at the giant woman with a hunting crossbow.
- The camel. "We call it Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch." "That doesn't sound like a name." "It's a good name for this camel."
- 'When Mrs Whitlow was in the grip of acute class consciousness she could create aitches where nature never intended them to be.'
Ridcully: Can't have vases gobbin' at people all day!
- Sol Dibbler after a very long day
Dwarf: Why are all Mr Dibbler's stories set against the background of a world gone mad?Sol: Because Mr Dibbler is a very observant person.
- A troll is asked why he eats rock if he is one. His answer is "You're made of meat and what do you eat?"
- The answer to that, seeing as how they're in the dodgy canteen: "Good question."
- All of C.M.O.T's failed attempts to include Product Placement in the movie, and all of Soll's considerably more successful attempts at thwarting them.
- People in the moving picture audience having no idea who Vetinari is when he's sitting next to the movie stars is pretty funny. His reaction is "You could become famous just for being, well, famous. It occurred to him that this was an extremely dangerous thing and he would probably have to have someone killed someday, though it would be with reluctance. On his part, that is. Their reluctance goes without saying."
- Colon and Nobby finding out that Dibbler's thousand elephants have arrived. Nobby's reactions especially are hilarious:
"Get away? He’s going into this Jumbo Sausage thing in a big way, then?"
Their eyes met. Nobby’s grin was evil.
"Oh, go on," he said. "Let me go and tell him. Please?"