* John lampshading and mocking Chris' {{Narm}} in their phone call.
--> '''Chris''': She's no whore! You saw her too. She's really more like...the April moon!
--> '''John''': April [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] moon?
* While the Engineer can be full of these, his absolute crowning moment of funny (at least in the complete symphonic recording) is at the end of "The American Dream." During the song, the Engineer is joined by backup singers and dancers for his big number, and when the song ends, they (naturally) go offstage. The funny part? The Engineer [[BreakingTheFourthWall breaks the fourth wall]], notices his backup leaving him, and ''tries to call them back.''
--> '''Engineer''': Wh-wh-what's happening? Guys, wh-where are you going? Talk to me - ''it was just getting good!'' ({{Beat}}) ... Shit.
* In the 25th anniversary production, when Engineer tells Tam to give him a kiss the boy complies - then promptly wipes his mouth as if grossed out.
* "What a Waste", which shows the Engineer's disgruntled attempts to appease a group of male tourists.
-->'''The Engineer''': Drinks are on me. First girl is free. What can I say? You get ''me'' for a small extra fee! ''(The tourists run away in disgust)'' ...It was a '''JOKE!'''
** Afterwards, he comes face-to-face with his old pal John, who's less than enthusiastic to see him again.
-->'''The Engineer''': You pick 'em well... Monsieur John, is that you?
-->'''John''': The Engineer? ''Jesus Christ'', you're here too...
* As the Engineer haphazardly devises his plan to come to America in "If You Wanna Die in Bed", he seems to have forgotten one important detail...
-->'''The Engineer''': ''If you want to die in bed en route to your nirvana,''
-->''you gram your chance and plunge ahead and go where people win!''
-->''Heaven's there... but shit...''
-->'''''[[DidntThinkThisThrough YOU NEED A VISA TO GET IN!]]'''''