History Funny / MassEffect3

''[Or if Shepard is male]'' And how many times have you [[UnusualEuphemism popped his thermal clip]]?\\

** For those who are confused: the geth are a SYNTHETIC race. They can't even USE medi-gel [[GameplayAndStorySegregation (well, at least they shouldn't be able to)]]. As a bonus, just a year before most of the galaxy thought the geth were evil robot invaders - and they ''still'' prefer them over [[AssholeVictim the batarians.]]

** Creator/JenniferHale reveals that this is about her favorite part of the roles she did, only outclassed by femShep being on the cover and saying goodbye to Garrus.

*** Before the option to punch Al-Jilani comes up, she makes a remark about how Shepard "abandoned Earth". After the double hit, Shepard sees the camera is still rolling and says "You're mad, I get that, but I'm here to get help for Earth, not answer your questions". S/he's actually playing to the crowd.

* When Shepard comes back from the Citadel, and tells Joker that the Council still refuses to help.

* During an optional mission on Sanctum, Shepard finds a "Failed Medi-Gel Experiment" in a Cerberus lab.

** It starts with a C-Sec officer yelling at her for being on the Citadel illegally ("Yes, and it only took you two weeks to notice,"). Aria gets fed up, so she calls up the Asari Councilor, telling her she's being bothered about customs. The Councilor ''immediately'' taps something into her omni-tool, fixing the problem, and asks if Aria needs anything else. Aria just waves her off like the most powerful woman in the galaxy is her own personal secretary... and the Councilor obeys without a word of dissent.

* "Priority: Sur'Kesh" ends with a rather amusing scenario in which the female krogan you rescue from a group of Cerberus troops yanks a shotgun out of Wrex's hands to blow away a pair of stray soldiers with one shot each, before shoving the gun back at Wrex. Wrex just shakes his head and mutters, "Women."

* While on-route to the salarian homeworld to retrieve "Eve", a fertile krogan female, Wrex gets a bit antsy. Shepard and Liara assure him they'll retrieve her safely and he expresses his gratitude.

** For added funny: Complete "Priority: Eden Prime" (The mission available with the ''From Ashes'' DLC, which gives you Javik as an available party member) before the Sur'Kesh mission, then bring Javik with you. [[https://youtu.be/Z1uC3sGKX7k?t=94 He will respond to Wrex's aforementioned comment:]]

* The gang's reaction to the yahg prisoners on Sur'Kesh, especially Liara and Garrus[[labelnote:*]]Although it requires that the player has completed the prequel's ''Lair of the Shadow Broker'' DLC.[[/labelnote]]

** "Bottom line: you can't touch the Vorcha! ''[gasp]'' They've got diplomatic immunity!"

* Following Kai Leng's unsuccessful first battle with Shepard, he'll contact the Illusive Man to report his failure. It becomes immediately evident that TIL [[SmallNameBigEgo barely considers Kai Leng to even be an asset;]] responding to Kai Leng's claims that he'll kill Shepard next time with a disinterested [[VillainousRespect "We'll see."]]

** Or, [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential if you don't let him get his refund,]] the clerk says what it is that he's been trying to get refunded for all this time: a toaster oven.
* Garrus and his perchance for calibrations from the second game reaches RunningGag status here, the very mission after he rejoins the Normandy Crew. Hell, even the ''Turian Primarch'' becomes the very first to make mention of it:

** Joker also gets in a dig, commenting to Shepard how glad he is that Garrus is back on board to shoot things for them. "Plus we might need something calibrated!"

** And the nod to the FanNickname that was being used to refer to him back when there were crazy rumours about a Prothean squadmate.
--->'''Javik''': Your "Joker" pilot insisted I call myself "Prothy the Prothean". I insisted he allow me to throw him out of the airlock.

** Either way, the two krogan leaders sizing up against Mordin and it ended up the salarian himself getting the final word.

* After EDI gets the android body, she'll mention, "Do not worry, Shepard. I only forget to recycle the Normandy's oxygen when I find something ''truly'' interesting." The [[StunnedSilence look of silent horror on Shepard's face]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOJ1y2zJwSE is absolutely]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbpSuHvCSeg hysterical]]... especially when EDI then follows it up with the usual "That was a joke."

** The delivery of EDI's line is perfect. Shepard silently stands there for a few moments, with the dialogue wheel opened up as if EDI is done talking, and then she adds "That was a joke." The awkward silence shared by Shepard and the player is timed perfectly.

'''Joker''': ..S/he's standing right there, isn't s/he?\\

'''Joker:''' Uh...I give up.\\

** James meets the last member of an extinct civilization. Liara had questions about Prothean government and society. James just wants to know if they liked to get drunk. James and Javik, you two managed to avoid the ReplacementScrappy title magnificently.

** If the ''From Ashes'' DLC is completed prior to this, and Javik is brought to the mission?

--->'''Garrus:''' ''(Looks several...''several'' stories down) ({{Beat}})'' You obviously haven't seen turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing, interrupted by occasional bouts of... drowning.

** Conrad also [[DumbassHasAPoint asks the question]] every player of ME 1 had about the thermal clip system and why it replaced the self cooling one or didn't just became an addition.
*** Also serves as a DevelopmentGag, as the two systems (thermal clips and self cooling) were originally going to work side-by-side in ME 2 (wait for the gun to cool, or change the clip and start firing again immediately)

* If you chat to Joker after leaving the Rachni Queen to die he comes out with the following:

-->'''James:'''...Uh, tech's not my specialty, but I'll [[AreTheseWiresImportant pull a few wires, see what comes out.]]\\

** A Shepard romancing her can learn a more snarky side of her. Also a possible ShoutOut regarding fanon on Shepard's nationality.

'''Aethyta:''' If it's all civilized you're not doing it right.

-->'''Shepard:''' "Will only lead to Medi-Gel advances for hanar." ''(scoff)'' Only [[FantasticRacism Cerberus]] would call ''that'' a failure.

** It starts with a C-Sec officer yelling at her for being on the Citadel illegally ("Yes, and it only took you two weeks to notice"). Aria gets fed up, so she calls up the Asari Councilor, telling her she's being bothered about customs. The Councilor ''immediately'' taps something into her omni-tool, fixing the problem, and meekly asks if Aria needs anything else. Aria just waves her off like the most powerful woman in the galaxy is her own personal secretary...and the Councilor obeys without a word of dissent.

'''Aria:''' Is that supposed to be ''funny?!'' Let's see--I've lost Omega, I got C-Sec eyes all over me, and I'm holed up in this poor excuse for a nightclub. ''(pout)'' [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Can't even get Noverian Rum here]]. In other words, ''[[SeriousBusiness I'm in hell]].''

* "Priority: Sur'Kesh" ends with a rather amusing scenario in which the female krogan you rescue from a group of Cerberus troops yanks a shotgun out of Wrex's hands to blow away a pair of stray troops with one shot each, before shoving the gun back at Wrex. Wrex just shakes his head and mutters, "Women."

'''Wrex:''' Yeah, but our women have so many of them. So, sometimes I ''pretend'' to listen and, well... let's just say krogan females have tempers too.

* Upon arrival to Sur'Kesh, Shepard is refused landing. Wrex decides to perform a "Krogan airdrop" and leaps from the shuttle. Held up against Salarian security, he throws them away with a biotic blast but is then targeted by snipers from afar. If the renegade option is chosen, this golden moment is engaged:

* The gang's reaction to the Yahg prisoners on Sur'Kesh, especially Liara and Garrus[[labelnote:*]]Althugh it requires that the player has completed the prequel's ''Lair of the Shadow Broker'' DLC.[[/labelnote]]

** Just the the concept behind Blasto 6 elicits much laughter. Imagine a typical buddy cop movie and the clichés attached to them: the CowboyCop partnered with the ByTheBookCop, the latter cop's sister attracted to the former cop, the villain who uses ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections to his advantage, and the perpetually worried [[DaChief police chief]] chastising the two cops when things go awry. Mix those archetypes with two Elcor, a Hanar, a Volus and a Vorcha, and the races' respective speaking styles, and it's ''gutbustingly funny'' (the Elcor cop starting every single line with "[[PerfectlyCromulentWord badassfully]]" being the highlight). Imagining the entire ordeal makes the scenario even more insane.

--->'''Bubin:''' Badassfully: Dammit. [[CallBack You big stupid jellyfish]]. I'm just [[PunctuatedForEmphasis three...solar...days]] from [[{{Retirony}} retirement]].
** Blasto sleeps with Bubin's sister. Complete with squeaking-bed sounds.

** Ashley referring to Shepard as a space pirate was hilarious if you played as [=FemShep=] given that her [[Creator/JenniferHale voice actress]] fought quite a few of those in [[VideoGame/MetroidPrime a different series.]]

* Following Kai Leng's unsuccessful first battle with Shepard, he'll contact the Illusive Man to report his failure. It becomes immediately evident that TIL [[SmallNameBigEgo barely considers Kai Leng to even be an asset;]] responding to Kai Leng's claims that he'll kill Shepard next time with a disinterested [[VillainousRespect 'We'll see.']]
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR797AXgwJw One of the disputes]] you can resolve on the Citadel for Reputation points is between a sales clerk and the [[RunningGag Refund Guy]]. You can convince the sales clerk to give the poor man a full refund. The whole fifteen credits. Almost crosses into Heartwarming territory, since the Refund Guy just sounds so ''grateful'' to finally get the creds back... of course, he'd been fighting for them for ~3 years by this point, so it's understandable.

--->'''Javik:''' You and the [LI's species or occupation if human]... you are joined?\\

'''Shepard:''' Or Salarian doctors.\\

* Kirrahe assumes that you're joking when you tell him that Javik's a Prothean, and guesses that he's actually a drell or some other alien with genetic engineering.

--->'''Mordin:''' A Prothean. Excellent.

'''Shepard:''' He's a Prothean.\\

--->'''Joker:''' Now all we need is a gun that fires Thresher Maws!\\

** How did EDI counter Cerberus' cyberwarfare after the events of [=ME2=]? By flooding their servers with porn. '''Seven zettabytes of it.''' Most of it was Joker's (unless [[RunningGag that was a joke]]). For everyone playing along at home, a zettabyte is 10[[superscript:21]] bytes. In all Joker has seven (ahem) '''sex'''tillion (7 x 10[[superscript:21]] or 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) bytes of porn on the Normandy's computer. Yes, sextillion is a real number. Additionally, as of 2020, the total memory of the ''entire Internet'' was estimated to be 2.7 zettabytes. [[TheInternetIsForPorn The Extranet Is For Porn]] indeed.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uubb0xVBYU The banter between male Shepard and Tali]] (if a romance option was pursued) is hilarious while on the Geth Dreadnought.

* The ''entire'' Grissom Academy sequence, watching [[AxCrazy Jack's]]...''unique'' teaching style and it's startlingly positive effect on her students. Especially when they start [[SelfDeprecation mocking]] some of her lines from [=ME2=] (which themselves are taken verbatim from enemy biotics from [=ME1=])...

--->'''Jack:''' Nice body, EDI. Now you look like a sex-bot instead of a sex-toy.

** During the same outing, Shepard can take a jab about how Garrus always seems to have a new scar every time they meet up, and cracks about how Vakarian might be losing a step in his old age.

** Just as Shepard and Garrus arrive and the spot and the later proposes they do "something stupid" for the hell of it, Shepard finds out that Turians are about as graceful in the water as Shepard is on the dance floor.

--->'''Garrus:''' ''(Looks several...''several'' stories down) ({{Beat}})'' You obviously haven't seen Turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing, interrupted by occasional bouts of...drowning.

** A paragon VI will eventually start hitting on Shepard.
** A renegade VI seems to be sentient, and tries to convince you to steal it.

'''Shepard''': ''[exasperated]'' Conrad, I'm building an ancient, Prothean, dark energy device to stop the Reapers. [[SarcasmMode Can you help with]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker that]]''?\\

** And, at its conclusion, as Conrad walks off, Shepard just has this '...what the hell I have no idea what just happened' look as if s/he can't believe all those [=ME1=] little plot lines came together and paid off like this, which is probably the same expression on the player's face.

** And this Godzillan lean on the Fourth Wall:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nUWcAmt6VB4#t=123s Drunk Tali.]] Just...Tali being totally hammered. Especially when she starts calling Javik over the intercom and tells him she thinks he actually likes Liara.

** During the same sequence when Tali's smashed, she drunk-dials Javik and has an amusing conversation regarding his relationship with Liara. She teases him about liking Liara, then teases him about liking Tali herself. Javik is more than a little exasperated:

* Upon Normandy approaching the Geth Dreadnought while "rigged for silent running."

* Anyone who has scrolled through one of the Squad Member pages will notice that [[WellDoneSonGuy daddy issues]] are ''the'' disorder of the day. Shepard is well aware of this.

** And Padok's take-away from Eve's non-answer? A cheerful "there we have it. Could be worth writing a paper on day." (Which gets even funnier for those who played ''Andromeda'', where it seems someone agreed with Padok...)

** Some [[http://youtu.be/svau_peWtQo gems]] include the phrase "useful as tits on a hanar", starry-eyed reminiscing about "Nezzy's" [[BuxomBeautyStandard magnificent rack]], with [[TooMuchInformation predictable reactions from Liara]], Liara being gobsmacked that she has a part-hanar sister, Aethyta telling Liara that if she gets the urge to headbutt something it's genetic, to Liara's protestations, a comment about how Aethyta's surprised that Liara's panties haven't caught fire around Shepard, and when she gives Liara a unit of Eclipse commandos says that Liara's too old to "buy you a damn pony."

* You can find Javik in the server room arguing with EDI. Interact with Javik enough times, and he reveals that staring contests were fairly common in the Prothean Empire.

''' Matriarch Aethyta''': Well I'm not human, am I? [[SophisticatedAsHell Anthropocentric bag of dicks.]]

** Also, the implication of an [[GreenSkinnedSpaceBabe Asari]] and a [[{{Gonk}} Vorcha]] mating and having an offspring is a small reminder that Mordin hasn't lost his penchant for absent-mindedly mentioning {{Squick}}.

* A hilarious LampshadeHanging - Jacob says his girlfriend wants to name their baby after him/her. Shepard is surprised, but pleased. Then Jacob tells him/her that Brynn wants to actually call the kid "Shepard." Cue a very awkward laugh from Shep.

** If Kasumi's helping you with this quest, she chimes in with her opinion of diplomat's idea that the hanar, who worship the Protheans, should serve the Reapers because the Protheans became the Collectors:

** Also, earlier in the quest, Jondum Bau rules out a possible suspect by saying that the money he's transferring is for his mistress. After speaking to Bau, Kasumi pipes in.

* If Shepard had a romance with Kaidan in the first game, they will eventually get the chance to talk through their issues in a cafe on the Citadel and rekindle their relationship. The whole scene is a pure SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}}...and then Shepard suggests they go straight back to the Normandy. Kaidan says he'd love to...but their drinks just showed up. Cue sexual frustration.
* Bring Kaidan along with you and Tali to the geth dreadnaught and watch the two of them completely nerd out over omnitools, with Tali cheerfully heckling Kaidan for still using the same model. The best part is that both [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall make some pretty good points about the omni-tools in question]].

* After kicking Cerberus off the Citadel and a side mission or two, Shepard hits the mess hall only to discover James and Garrus '[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSyAFlTjWo4 whipping it out]]' for comparison... their military accomplishments, that is.

'''James''': Please, I fought off a dozen angry batarians on Omega single-handedly. Used one of 'em as a landing pad off a three story jump.\\

** Everyone has a variation on the theme.

* If you bring Garrus along on the Geth Dreadnought with Tali, he will mention that Dr. Michel bought him some dextro-amino chocolate.

'''Tali''': Oh, nothing.~ ''[audibly smirking]''

** While Admiral Gerrel is bombing the ship in the last part of that mission, Garrus will shout "Quarian Bastards!" as you and your squad escape.

* Among the possible titles for Liara's future book on the Protheans: "I Despise Thinking Up Titles For My Own Academic Research".

-->'''Liara''': Incredible. The beacon seems to think you're Prothean, Shepard.\\
'''Javik''': [[DeadpanSnarker Or it could be the Prothean standing next to you.]]

* After EDI puts herself in a new body, she mentions Joker might be pleased with her new body. Shepard replies that it's an {{Understatement}}. Even funnier is if you speak to Dr. Chakwas right after.

** The best part is that for the rest of that dialogue Javik is giving a [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech The Reason Quarians Suck]] speech. Normally the fact that no one can even see what Quarians look like anymore is his final damning insult...but given the opportunity he gleefully abandons his point in favor of a 'Tali's got a boyfriend!' joke. There's a reason that Javik has been called the universe's oldest troll by fans.

''[he walks over to the control panel, scratches his head in bewilderment - then '''kicks it'''. Repeatedly]''
** The [[FacePalm look on Shepard's face]] when this happen seals the moment.

* Wrex referring to '''Kalros''', the mother of all Thresher Maws as "one HELL of a ''guard dog''".

* Tali's line after saving Shepard from a falling elevator in the Geth dreadnought:

* Attempting to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGqoSZwdS8A flirt with Joker as Femshep]]. All of his lines are respectful and thought-out...but his ''face'' shows that he's terrified. He shows more fear than when the Collectors attacked the Normandy.

*** Or the fact that E.D.I. seems to be attracted to him. Wonder how an A.I. (one that can control the ship no less) would react to being cheated on?
* On letting Balak go after convincing him to pledge the remaining Batarian troops.

* If Shepard is in a relationship with Liara, when s/he's finished talking with him, Wrex will compliment the new Normandy but is annoyed that he doesn't have a window, and ribs Shepard that it's probably because of his/her relationship that Liara does.

And live and die a Krogan Queen!\\

She is the Krogan Queen! Hurrah!\\
Hurrah for the Krogan Queen!\\

To be the Krogan Queen!''

* Speaking of elephants in the room, there's an amusing exchange between an Alliance member and a Geth Prime on Earth, as one of the Alliance apologizes for ''shooting a hole'' in one of the Geth platforms before realizing they were friendly.
* If you talk to Cortez after the Communications Relay you get this little exchange between Vega & Cortez.

* Talking to Cortez after the Cerberus Attack on Tuchanka gives us this gem:

* You can pardon the engineering duo from the second game at the Spectre terminal. Like in the 2nd game, they're always good for a laugh. Eventually Gabby calls Ken out on him hitting on every girl on the ship but ''her''. Support Gabby in the argument and you'll catch them under the engineering deck towards the end of the game. Complete with "Were we caught?" lines.

* Samantha Traynor is the new yeoman on the Normandy. When you first talk talk to her she'll bring up not even having a toothbrush, and you can suggest placing a requisition order for one.
-->'''Traynor:''' My toothbrush is specially designed with mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums. It costs six thousand credits.\\

** A Shepard Romancing her can learn a more snarky side of her. Also a possible ShoutOut regarding Fanon on Shepard's nationality.

** After you visit the Ardat-Yakshi monastery and get a squad of Asari commandos, Ms Traynor has the following gem:

-->(hit the target) Congrats on being the Galactic Champion of Bottle Shooting. When the bottles rise and attack we'll know who to turn to.\\
(missed on purpose) Let me know if you want to go somewhere less windy next time. Those tornadoes on the Citadel can be brutal.

* The dangers of Father/Daughter bonding...

''[or if Shepard is male]'' And how many times have you [[UnusualEuphemism popped his thermal clip]]?\\
''[if the Romance was only started in the third game]'' I've seen the way you look at each other. Surprised your panties haven't caught fire.\\

* The descriptions for the Batarian planets show some choice examples of BlackHumor, from discussing [[ItMakesSenseInContext the Reapers' taste in literature]] to the [[BlatantLies boisterous claims]] of the former Batarian Empire.

--->'''Commander Gurek:''' Many of our new allies in this great struggle seem to think that Batarians view warnings about incoming [[DemonicSpider banshees]] as an insult - nothing could be further from the truth, and it would be great if people could let us know when one of those was standing right behind us. There's also a rumor that our kinetic barriers are thermally charged, and thus we actually benefit from being hit by a geth pyro's flamethrower. We're honestly not sure where that one came from.

--->'''Lieutenant Girard:''' You know, I honestly didn't think that batarians bled the way we did. But then, I've only really seen them that one time, on [[DoomedHometown Mindoir]]. Definitely, though, provided I've got enough medigel, and that the mission won't be compromised by me trying to give first aid during a firefight, I'll be sure to use that medigel on our new friends from Khar'shan. Just as soon as I'm done helping any injured salarians, turians, drell, asari, krogan, quarians, or geth.
** For those who are confused: the geth are a SYNTHETIC race. They can't even USE medi-gel [[GameplayAndStorySegregation (well, at least they shouldn't be able to)]]. As a bonus, just a year before most of the galaxy thought the Geth were evil robot invaders - and they ''still'' prefer them over [[AssholeVictim the Batarians.]]

* And with the Extended Cut, Creator/BioWare apparently took note of the fact that many players fired a round or two at the Catalyst, because if you do that now, he'll simply shut the Crucible down, and it segues directly into the "Reject" ending, where the cycle continues as planned.

* In Priority: Earth, wait for Wrex to finish his speech to his men, then he'll say some random stuff to them like this one:

* Some hilarious trolling done by Creator/BioWare during your first opportunity to tell the krogan about the genophage sabotage on Tuchanka. The tension has been building throughout the entire ship ride, leaders from both races are on board, you're given an ominous-looking dialogue wheel, and before you can make your choice Shepard gets interrupted by a sudden bout of turbulence. Many players spent entire minutes ''agonizing'' over their decision before bursting out laughing at the result. You get the chance to make your choice properly later on.
* A scene with Javik on the Citadel will have people awed at being in the presence of a Prothean. When asked for his advice it quickly delves into GoYeHeroesGoAndDie territory, before Shepard can use a paragon interrupt. Without missing a beat, he becomes more uplifting.

* During a conversation on the Citadel, EDI asks Shepard for advice on how to woo Joker and Shepard suggests they see a movie. EDI responds "Do you think Jeff would like 'The Man Who Hung Himself'? It appears to be about an amorous plastic surgeon."

* While Shepard is inside a geth server during one of the Rannoch side-missions, they stumble across memories of what the quarians were doing before the Morning War. When Shepard asks why the quarians are still in suits, Legion clarifies that the memories are not exact video recordings and that Shepard's mind is making up the rest. Where it gets funny is when Legion asks Shepard how many quarians they ever saw without their suits. If Shepard is male and romanced Tali, he bluntly answers [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder "Well... one."]]
** On the same mission, Legion decides to split up from the party and, rather than wait for the shuttle to land, it just goes to the open door. Shepard says "Wait, you're not gonna-" and it just lets itself ''fall'' to the ground. If Garrus is there, he says "I guess it just did." If not, Shepard pauses significantly before weakly telling Cortez to land near the cliff.

* If Kirrahe died on Virmire, then on Sur'Kesh his replacement Sergeant Tolus wonders if Kirrahe died in vain stopping Saren's krogan cloning efforts when just three years later Shep is trying to undo the genophage. Shep can say that Saren was creating slaves, Tolus retorts that it seems that's what the turians are doing now, and if Garrus is there he doesn't buy it.

** Tolus also is annoyed that the krogan females haven't just been killed and claiming that mercy is misguided. Garrus, again, does not appreciate this.

* If you finish EDI and Joker's romance subplot, right after helping her "finding a little humanity," talk to her again. She'll tell you she's busy reading "human literature".

* If Tali was the one to do the vents on the Collector Base, she refers back to it on the Geth Dreadnought, complaining that the ''last time'' she listened to Shepard telling her to go crawling through vents;

'''Shepard''': You did fine at the collector base.\\

* On the Geth Dreadnought EDI will [[http://youtu.be/FWcykrXnVyg tell Tali]] she hopes her (EDI's) new body won't make Tali uncomfortable (Tali: "So, EDI... a ''body''...?").

* In ''From Ashes'', several party members will ask Liara if she's ever found dinosaur bones. Each time, Liara starts to respond seriously, clarifying that she's an archeologist and not a paleontologist, only to stop and ask if they're joking.

''[after being called chicken]'' "I don't even know what that is. Though I've heard [[TastesLikeChicken everything in the galaxy tastes like it]]."\\

'''Joker:''' And Kaidan's back! He even remembered the first rule of serving on the Normandy: ''don't shoot the commander''.

* Tali's interactions with the squad member you bring along on the Geth Dreadnought, especially if you bring along rival love interests. You'll get some pretty entertaining jealous banter between the two for most love interests. Sometimes just one-sided snide comments from Tali. During the escape from the dreadnought, if Garrus is present in the squad, he will deliver this little gem:
-->'''Garrus''': Quarian bastards!

* Two stores on the Citadel you fight through during the Cerberus Coup: "Snap, Crackle, and Pop", a store that sells means to weaponize omnitools, and "This One's Intimate Apparel", a lingerie shop apparently owned and operated by a hanar.

* Early in the game, after Mars, Shepard is romancing an injured Ashley.

'''Ashley:''' [[MomentKiller Romantic moment...destroyed.]]

-->'''Wrex:''' I got reapers on my planet, a bomb that almost ''blew up'' my planet, and if those two fail, the genophage will make sure we all go extinct anyway! So I don't want to hear who has it worse.

* The very first Normandy conversation you have with James starts with him working out. He asks if you're there to "enjoy the view" to which you can answer something along the lines of [[MrFanservice "I am]] [[DistractedByTheSexy now."]]

* If Garrus is dead, when Liara is on Menea, it's possible to hear her trash-talking Husks. ''Liara'', of all people.

* A lab contains the live(?) head of either a Husk or a human under Cerberus's employ, which reacts whenever it's poked. James, showing up at said lab, is [[NightmareFetishist delighted to see it]] and happy to poke at it. He ''gets bitten'', asks EDI if husk bites [[ThePlague turn you into a husk, and applies medigel at her suggestion.]] Then he suggests Shepard take it back to the Normandy with him/her - and s/he ''can''.
** For some players, James may say his lines while Ann Bryson and EDI are discussing the plot. Trying to activate both discussions as they pop up can lead to the mental image of Shepard ''trying'' to concentrate on the important stuff, but getting distracted by [[FunnyBackgroundEvent James's adorable poking of the Husk head]].

** If you brought the husk head to the Normandy, it will be at your desk, where it will scare the crap out of your space hamster.

* Just like normal missions, if you TalkToEveryone after the various missions they all have something to say. Garrus is creeped out by Harvesters. Liara jokes that Shepard keeps rescuing archaeologists from dig sites swarming with hostiles, and says that she'll be concerned if s/he offers to help her take down the Shadow Broker. If romanced, at the end of the whole thing she asks Shep not to talk to Leviathan anymore, since the only tentacled alien she wants inside Shepard's mind is ''her''.

* When hunting for clues in the lab, you can come across something called Basilisk. EDI says this could refer to an Alliance based Project Basilisk...or a high level creature in the popular game ''[[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft Galaxy of]] [[Franchise/FinalFantasy Fantasy.]]''

* [[DeadpanSnarker All the snarking]]. Aria is her usual blunt self - but Nyreen also has some moments

* One of the sidequests has you looking for a particular item so a merchant can gain favour with Aria.

'''Aria''': ...is that my couch?
* In the scene for shutting off the reactor, there's normally a tense sequence where Shepard tries to reroute power before Aria is overrun while Petrovsky tries to break them by talking. However, if Shepard is an engineer it becomes a humorous scene where the job is done in seconds and he doesn't even get to finish his first sentence. This is notably the ''only'' time in the trilogy that Shepard's class directly effects the plot.

--->'''Jack:''' ''(to unromanced Garrus)'' Garrus. Face still looks like shit.\\

** A Shepard Romancing her can learn a more snarky side of her. Also a possible ShoutOut regarding Fanon on Shepard's [[CanadaEh nationality]]

* The single-player demo ends with a rather amusing scenario in which the female krogan you rescue from a group of Cerberus troops yanks a shotgun out of Wrex's hands to blow away a pair of stray troops with one shot each, before shoving the gun back at Wrex. Wrex just shakes his head and mutters, "Women."

'''Mordin''': (under his breath) [[KickTheSonOfABitch No promises.]]\\

"Shepard, this is when you take all your anger and frustration, bottle it up, then use it to [[KickTheSonOfABitch rearrange every molecule]] in [[SmugSnake Kai Leng's body]]."

* The ''entire'' Grissom Academy sequence, watching [[AxCrazy Jack's]]...''unique'' teaching style and it's startlingly positive effect on her students. Especially when they start [[TakeThatUs mocking]] some of her lines from [=ME2=] (which themselves are taken verbatim from enemy biotics from [=ME1=])...

*** Subsequent dialogue reveals that she actually does reward them with boxes of juice.

'''Jack:''' DAMN IT, RODRIGUEZ!\\

** Bonus points because Wiks sounds like a CovertPervert at the beginning... then once Eve responds, it turns [[ExactWords he really was interested in how krogan mate ForScience]].

'''Joker:''' [[{{Callback}} Okay, well, let me know if you want me to get them on the line so you can hang up on them again. You know, for old time's sake.]]

** A paragon VI will eventually start hitting on Shepard. AnythingThatMoves indeed.