History Funny / MassEffect3

15th Aug '17 7:27:55 AM Gorank
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--> '''Shepard:''' Uh... What's with he Volus?\\
'''Vega''': ''[shrugs]'' Pizza Delivery guy; I got the munchies.\\


to:

--> '''Shepard:''' -->'''Shepard:''' Uh... What's with he the Volus?\\
'''Vega''': ''[shrugs]'' Pizza Delivery guy; I got the munchies.\\




---> '''Vega:''' Hell yeah! But, uh... who going to take point with you?\\

to:

---> '''Vega:''' --->'''Vega:''' Hell yeah! But, uh... who going to take point with you?\\



---> '''Grunt:''' Shepard...\\
'''Shepard:''' Grunt...\\
'''Wrex:''' Shepard.\\
'''Shepard:''' Wrex.\\
'''Grunt:''' Commander Shepard...\\
'''Wrex:''' Shepard. Shepard. Shepard...\\
'''Shepard:''' Wrex... Grunt...\\
'''Grunt:''' [[AC:Shepaaaaaaard...]]\\
'''Wrex:''' [[AC:Shepaarrrrrrrrrd...]]\\
'''Grunt:''' Shepard.\\
''[cue Shepard's "huh" face...]''

to:

---> '''Grunt:''' --->'''Grunt:''' Shepard...\\
'''Shepard:''' Grunt...\\
'''Wrex:''' Shepard.\\
'''Shepard:''' Wrex.\\
'''Grunt:''' Commander Shepard...\\
'''Wrex:''' Shepard. Shepard. Shepard...\\
'''Shepard:''' Wrex... Grunt...\\
'''Grunt:''' [[AC:Shepaaaaaaard...]]\\
'''Wrex:''' [[AC:Shepaarrrrrrrrrd...]]\\
'''Grunt:''' Shepard.\\
''[cue Shepard's "huh" face...]''



---> '''[=FemShep=]:''' We could go out, maybe catch a live performance? We don't absolutely ''have'' to use the --\\
''[SmashCut to [=FemShep=] and Traynor in the hot tub]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]:''' You're very persuasive.

to:

---> '''[=FemShep=]:''' --->'''[=FemShep=]:''' We could go out, maybe catch a live performance? We don't absolutely ''have'' to use the --\\
--\\
''[SmashCut to [=FemShep=] and Traynor in the hot tub]''\\
tub]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]:''' You're very persuasive.



--> '''[=FemShep=]''': What would it take to convince you, James?\\
'''Vega''': Uh... I think I would need to forget you're Commander Shepard, for starters.\\
''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]''': I see.\\
''[[[{{beat}} an even longer beat]]]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]''': Well, now that you shot me down, is there anything else you came here to talk about?

to:

--> '''[=FemShep=]''': -->'''[=FemShep=]''': What would it take to convince you, James?\\
James?\\
'''Vega''': Uh... I think I would need to forget you're Commander Shepard, for starters.\\
''[{{beat}}]''\\\n ''[{{beat}}]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]''': I see.\\
''[[[{{beat}} an even longer beat]]]''\\
beat]]]''\\
'''[=FemShep=]''': Well, now that you shot me down, is there anything else you came here to talk about?



---> '''Mordin''': Neural shock clearly effective! Perry the Pyjak also clearly made of flammable material. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Any questions?

to:

---> '''Mordin''': --->'''Mordin''': Neural shock clearly effective! Perry the Pyjak also clearly made of flammable material. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Any questions?



---> '''Mordin''': Asari very grateful. Could read her like open book. As it happened, did enjoy reading... in bed.\\
'''Mordin''': "Your barriers very similar to your morals," I said, and threw my biotic grenade. "Warped."\\
'''Mordin''': Hadn't been paid, but considered self fortunate. Had broken Omega's one rule... [[spoiler:in more ways than one.]]

to:

---> '''Mordin''': --->'''Mordin''': Asari very grateful. Could read her like open book. As it happened, did enjoy reading... in bed.\\
'''Mordin''': "Your barriers very similar to your morals," I said, and threw my biotic grenade. "Warped."\\
'''Mordin''': Hadn't been paid, but considered self fortunate. Had broken Omega's one rule... [[spoiler:in more ways than one.]]



--> '''Jack:''' Awwww, who's my badass biotic?

to:

--> '''Jack:''' -->'''Jack:''' Awwww, who's my badass biotic?



--> '''Shepard''': Are you kidding me? ''[[LoonyFan Conrad Verner]]'' is better at being me than you are!

to:

--> '''Shepard''': -->'''Shepard''': Are you kidding me? ''[[LoonyFan Conrad Verner]]'' is better at being me than you are!



---> '''Salarian Engineer''': But couldn't you just...hit them?\\

to:

---> '''Salarian --->'''Salarian Engineer''': But couldn't you just...hit them?\\



---> '''Fury:''' You're the reason we're losing this war.

to:

---> '''Fury:''' --->'''Fury:''' You're the reason we're losing this war.



---> '''Grunt:''' Fishdog Food Shack Delivery? Sure... wait a minute. Nice try! No.\\
'''Grunt:''' A reporter? What's the name? Yeah? What kind of name is that? No.\\
'''Grunt:''' A free copy of ''Galaxy of Fantasy''? Hmmm. Tempting, but no.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[LampshadeHanging Am I enjoying this?]] Yes. Can you come in? No.

to:

---> '''Grunt:''' --->'''Grunt:''' Fishdog Food Shack Delivery? Sure... wait a minute. Nice try! No.\\
'''Grunt:''' A reporter? What's the name? Yeah? What kind of name is that? No.\\
'''Grunt:''' A free copy of ''Galaxy of Fantasy''? Hmmm. Tempting, but no.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[LampshadeHanging Am I enjoying this?]] Yes. Can you come in? No.



---> '''Grunt:''' YES, I like pie, and NO, you can't come in!\\
'''Grunt:''' Fake lip hair doesn't fool me, salarian. '''NO!'''\\
'''Grunt:''' [[EveryoneHatesMimes Definitely no mimes allowed]]! There's no box! There never was!\\
'''Grunt:''' Shepard ''doesn't'' have a half-brother named Sheppy the Volus! No entry.\\
'''Grunt:''' Needing an "immediate margarita intervention" isn't a real crisis! Get outta here!\\
'''Grunt:''' You again? [[NoodleIncident I thought you were dead]]. You can't come in.\\
'''Grunt:''' You're selling cookies? Uh... well... no. I shouldn't let you in. Damn.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[Music/BeastieBoys You just lost the fight for your right to party!]]

to:

---> '''Grunt:''' --->'''Grunt:''' YES, I like pie, and NO, you can't come in!\\
in!\\
'''Grunt:''' Fake lip hair doesn't fool me, salarian. '''NO!'''\\
'''Grunt:''' [[EveryoneHatesMimes Definitely no mimes allowed]]! There's no box! There never was!\\
was!\\
'''Grunt:''' Shepard ''doesn't'' have a half-brother named Sheppy the Volus! No entry.\\
'''Grunt:''' Needing an "immediate margarita intervention" isn't a real crisis! Get outta here!\\
here!\\
'''Grunt:''' You again? [[NoodleIncident I thought you were dead]]. You can't come in.\\
'''Grunt:''' You're selling cookies? Uh... well... no. I shouldn't let you in. Damn.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[Music/BeastieBoys You just lost the fight for your right to party!]]



---> '''[[ValleyGirl Party Girl]]:''' [[{{squee}} Is this Commander Shepard? Oh my God!]] ''[[{{squee}} Oh my God!]]'' [[{{squee}} I can't believe it's you!]]\\

to:

---> '''[[ValleyGirl --->'''[[ValleyGirl Party Girl]]:''' [[{{squee}} Is this Commander Shepard? Oh my God!]] ''[[{{squee}} Oh my God!]]'' [[{{squee}} I can't believe it's you!]]\\



--> '''Kasumi:''' I may have recorded it, and that recording may already have 6 million hits and a fan site.\\
'''Tali:''' You better hope I never find you.

to:

--> '''Kasumi:''' -->'''Kasumi:''' I may have recorded it, and that recording may already have 6 million hits and a fan site.\\
'''Tali:''' You better hope I never find you.



---> '''Shepard:''' Kasumi, are you going through my drawers?\\
'''Kasumi:''' I go through everyone's drawers. Nice underwear, Shep!

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' Kasumi, are you going through my drawers?\\
drawers?\\
'''Kasumi:''' I go through everyone's drawers. Nice underwear, Shep!



---> '''Shepard:''' But...what if I want to use the hot tub?\\

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' But...what if I want to use the hot tub?\\



----> '''Garrus:''' Shepard, [[SickeninglySweethearts sweetie]]...love of my life, indulge your crazy boyfriend. I need to know you're safe.\\
'''Shepard:''' If it'll make you feel better, honey.\\
'''Zaeed:''' ''[listening in]'' Oh [[GetARoom go get a room]]. God knows this place has enough of them.

to:

----> '''Garrus:''' ---->'''Garrus:''' Shepard, [[SickeninglySweethearts sweetie]]...love of my life, indulge your crazy boyfriend. I need to know you're safe.\\
'''Shepard:''' If it'll make you feel better, honey.\\
'''Zaeed:''' ''[listening in]'' Oh [[GetARoom go get a room]]. God knows this place has enough of them.



---> '''Zaeed:''' And what the hell is this supposed to be?\\
'''Garrus:''' I think...it's...''art.''\\
'''Zaeed:''' Oh. Hm. Art, eh? Okay. I see now. Sure. Art. I like it.

to:

---> '''Zaeed:''' --->'''Zaeed:''' And what the hell is this supposed to be?\\
be?\\
'''Garrus:''' I think...it's...''art.''\\
'''Zaeed:''' Oh. Hm. Art, eh? Okay. I see now. Sure. Art. I like it.



--> '''Javik:''' You there. Tattoo'd human. I would like to touch you.\\
'''Jack:''' I'm not nearly drunk enough for that.\\
'''Javik:''' You then, shuttle pilot. How about you?\\
'''Steve:''' Um... why's Javik getting all touchy-feely?\\
'''Jack:''' Hey, Collector-looking asshole, maybe go touch yourself?\\
'''Javik:''' [[ADateWithRosiePalms That does not happen until the end of the party.]]

to:

--> '''Javik:''' -->'''Javik:''' You there. Tattoo'd human. I would like to touch you.\\
'''Jack:''' I'm not nearly drunk enough for that.\\
'''Javik:''' You then, shuttle pilot. How about you?\\
'''Steve:''' Um... why's Javik getting all touchy-feely?\\
'''Jack:''' Hey, Collector-looking asshole, maybe go touch yourself?\\
yourself?\\
'''Javik:''' [[ADateWithRosiePalms That does not happen until the end of the party.]]



---> '''Javik''': Is it time to rule the galaxy now? [[KneelBeforeZod Kneel before Javik!]]

to:

---> '''Javik''': --->'''Javik''': Is it time to rule the galaxy now? [[KneelBeforeZod Kneel before Javik!]]



--> '''Tali''': Back during my pilgrimage, I used to walk around near that sushi place and watch the fish through the window. I knew they'd never let me inside, but I'd think to myself, someday, when I've proven my worth to the galaxy, I'll go there for dinner. And then, ''you broke their floor''.\\
'''Shepard''': Do they even have food you can eat there?\\
'''Tali''': ''Not'' the ''point'', Shepard!

to:

--> '''Tali''': -->'''Tali''': Back during my pilgrimage, I used to walk around near that sushi place and watch the fish through the window. I knew they'd never let me inside, but I'd think to myself, someday, when I've proven my worth to the galaxy, I'll go there for dinner. And then, ''you broke their floor''.\\
'''Shepard''': Do they even have food you can eat there?\\
there?\\
'''Tali''': ''Not'' the ''point'', Shepard!



---> '''EDI:''' Civilian casualties seem to have been restricted to... fish.

to:

---> '''EDI:''' --->'''EDI:''' Civilian casualties seem to have been restricted to... fish.



---> '''Miranda''': Aw, they shut down my favorite sushi place.\\
'''Shepard''': That's... a shame.\\
(''{{Beat}}'')\\
'''Miranda''': Shepard, you didn't...\\
'''Shepard''': I did. Fell right through the fish tank.\\
'''Miranda''': How did you do that?!\\
'''Shepard''': It... exploded.\\
'''Miranda''': (''shakes her head in disbelief'')\\
'''Shepard''': It was the clone's plan, not mine!\\
'''Miranda''': Blowing up a fish tank shouldn't be part of anyone's plan.

to:

---> '''Miranda''': --->'''Miranda''': Aw, they shut down my favorite sushi place.\\
'''Shepard''': That's... a shame.\\
(''{{Beat}}'')\\\n (''{{Beat}}'')\\
'''Miranda''': Shepard, you didn't...\\
'''Shepard''': I did. Fell right through the fish tank.\\
'''Miranda''': How did you do that?!\\
that?!\\
'''Shepard''': It... exploded.\\
'''Miranda''': (''shakes her head in disbelief'')\\
disbelief'')\\
'''Shepard''': It was the clone's plan, not mine!\\
mine!\\
'''Miranda''': Blowing up a fish tank shouldn't be part of anyone's plan.



---> '''Miranda''': Although executing marine life seems to be some sort of hobby with you. [[spoiler:No wonder your clone couldn't resist.]]

to:

---> '''Miranda''': --->'''Miranda''': Although executing marine life seems to be some sort of hobby with you. [[spoiler:No wonder your clone couldn't resist.]]



--> '''Zaeed''': What could possibly be more important than Zaeed Massani not getting bested by some fucking kid's game?!

to:

--> '''Zaeed''': -->'''Zaeed''': What could possibly be more important than Zaeed Massani not getting bested by some fucking kid's game?!



--> '''Shepard:''' Considering what we've been through, I can think of worse positions to be in.\\
'''Wrex:''' Trust me. I've been in every position in the past few days.

to:

--> '''Shepard:''' -->'''Shepard:''' Considering what we've been through, I can think of worse positions to be in.\\
'''Wrex:''' Trust me. I've been in every position in the past few days.



---> '''Shepard:''' You can't die, Wrex. You've got a family now. A really... big... family.\\
'''Wrex:''' ''[moans]'' More ice!! '''([[HeadDesk THUD]])'''

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' You can't die, Wrex. You've got a family now. A really... big... family.\\
'''Wrex:''' ''[moans]'' More ice!! '''([[HeadDesk THUD]])'''



--> This is Team Mako, showing Team Hammerhead how it's done!\\
Showing? More like copying!\\
If we were, we wouldn't be hitting anything!\\
This is Team Prothean! I have a higher body count than all of you combined!

to:

--> This -->This is Team Mako, showing Team Hammerhead how it's done!\\
done!\\
Showing? More like copying!\\
copying!\\
If we were, we wouldn't be hitting anything!\\
anything!\\
This is Team Prothean! I have a higher body count than all of you combined!



---> '''Brooks:''' What's a Mako?\\
'''Liara:''' Something we could use right about now.

to:

---> '''Brooks:''' --->'''Brooks:''' What's a Mako?\\
Mako?\\
'''Liara:''' Something we could use right about now.



---> '''Wrex:''' All right, everyone. Uncle Urdnot is back in town, and [[CatchPhrase he brought the boom]]!\\
'''Shepard:''' [[LampshadeHanging Is that a catchphrase or something, Wrex?]]\\
'''Wrex:''' Thought I'd try it out, see what you think!\\
'''Tali:''' Try again!\\
---\\
'''CAT 6 Captain:''' [[{{Mooks}} Rapier Squad]], orders are to kill the other Shepard's crew! No messing around this time!\\
'''CAT 6 Lieutenant:''' But they've got a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy krogan]]! Why don't we have a krogan?[[note]](This may also be [[FandomNod a reference]] to the fact that the main storyline has no krogan squadmate... which the ''Citadel'' DLC corrects with a vengeance.)[[/note]]\\
'''Wrex:''' Wouldn't want to be you, princesses! HAHAHA!\\
---\\
'''CAT 6 Lieutenant:''' I think that turian they've got is [[VigilanteMan Archangel]]! How the hell are we supposed to kill him?!\\
'''[BANG!]'''\\
'''Garrus:''' You're not!\\
---\\
'''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' Shit! That's a ''[[AbusivePrecursors Prothean]]'' over there!\\
'''Javik:''' [[PreMortemOneLiner And that's a future corpse over there!]]\\
---\\
'''James:''' We've got 'em psyched out! Hey, ''[[ForeignCussWord pendejos]]''! Our Shepard is better than yours!\\
'''Love Interest:''' And better looking too!\\
---\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. Why do you persist in fighting? [[TheComicallySerious The Alliance offers a number of benefits and a generous retirement package. After seven years of service, a sabbatical to the planet of your choice can be arranged]]. I would be happy to discuss -- please refrain from shooting at me.\\
---\\
'''Wrex:''' [[YouFightLikeACow I've fought volus bankers tougher than this!]]\\
---\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. You only have a 0.4 percent chance of winning this encounter.\\
'''Merc Trooper:''' That drone's giving me a migraine!\\
'''Liara:''' He belongs to me!\\
'''Merc Trooper:''' Keep him on a leash!\\
'''Liara:''' Glyph, lower their morale!\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. Your life expectancy is now 15 seconds and dropping. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve...\\
---\\
'''James:''' Attention, low-life mercenary wannabes! Say please and we'll accept your surrender!\\
'''Tali:''' Say "pretty please" and maybe Wrex will take a break!\\
'''Wrex:''' Try it and we'll see!\\
'''Javik:''' The Prothean, on the other hand, makes no such promises!\\
---\\
'''Tali:''' [[CurbStompBattle This is almost unfair!]] Should we give them a chance?

to:

---> '''Wrex:''' --->'''Wrex:''' All right, everyone. Uncle Urdnot is back in town, and [[CatchPhrase he brought the boom]]!\\
'''Shepard:''' [[LampshadeHanging Is that a catchphrase or something, Wrex?]]\\
Wrex?]]\\
'''Wrex:''' Thought I'd try it out, see what you think!\\
think!\\
'''Tali:''' Try again!\\
---\\
again!\\
---\\
'''CAT 6 Captain:''' [[{{Mooks}} Rapier Squad]], orders are to kill the other Shepard's crew! No messing around this time!\\
time!\\
'''CAT 6 Lieutenant:''' But they've got a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy krogan]]! Why don't we have a krogan?[[note]](This may also be [[FandomNod a reference]] to the fact that the main storyline has no krogan squadmate... which the ''Citadel'' DLC corrects with a vengeance.)[[/note]]\\
'''Wrex:''' Wouldn't want to be you, princesses! HAHAHA!\\
---\\
HAHAHA!\\
---\\
'''CAT 6 Lieutenant:''' I think that turian they've got is [[VigilanteMan Archangel]]! How the hell are we supposed to kill him?!\\
'''[BANG!]'''\\
him?!\\
'''[BANG!]'''\\
'''Garrus:''' You're not!\\
---\\
not!\\
---\\
'''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' Shit! That's a ''[[AbusivePrecursors Prothean]]'' over there!\\
there!\\
'''Javik:''' [[PreMortemOneLiner And that's a future corpse over there!]]\\
---\\
there!]]\\
---\\
'''James:''' We've got 'em psyched out! Hey, ''[[ForeignCussWord pendejos]]''! Our Shepard is better than yours!\\
yours!\\
'''Love Interest:''' And better looking too!\\
---\\
too!\\
---\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. Why do you persist in fighting? [[TheComicallySerious The Alliance offers a number of benefits and a generous retirement package. After seven years of service, a sabbatical to the planet of your choice can be arranged]]. I would be happy to discuss -- please refrain from shooting at me.\\
---\\\n ---\\
'''Wrex:''' [[YouFightLikeACow I've fought volus bankers tougher than this!]]\\
---\\
this!]]\\
---\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. You only have a 0.4 percent chance of winning this encounter.\\
'''Merc Trooper:''' That drone's giving me a migraine!\\
migraine!\\
'''Liara:''' He belongs to me!\\
me!\\
'''Merc Trooper:''' Keep him on a leash!\\
leash!\\
'''Liara:''' Glyph, lower their morale!\\
morale!\\
'''Glyph:''' Attention, enemy soldiers. Your life expectancy is now 15 seconds and dropping. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve...\\
---\\\n ---\\
'''James:''' Attention, low-life mercenary wannabes! Say please and we'll accept your surrender!\\
surrender!\\
'''Tali:''' Say "pretty please" and maybe Wrex will take a break!\\
break!\\
'''Wrex:''' Try it and we'll see!\\
see!\\
'''Javik:''' The Prothean, on the other hand, makes no such promises!\\
---\\
promises!\\
---\\
'''Tali:''' [[CurbStompBattle This is almost unfair!]] Should we give them a chance?



--> '''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' What did [[spoiler:s/he]] mean by "Slow him/her down?" We're allowed to kill Shepard if we have to, right?\\
'''Merc Lieutenant:''' [[spoiler:S/he]] said "slow him/her down" because [[spoiler:s/he]] thinks we're cannon fodder!\\
'''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' Oh. Well... [[OhCrap shit.]]

to:

--> '''[=CAT6=] -->'''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' What did [[spoiler:s/he]] mean by "Slow him/her down?" We're allowed to kill Shepard if we have to, right?\\
right?\\
'''Merc Lieutenant:''' [[spoiler:S/he]] said "slow him/her down" because [[spoiler:s/he]] thinks we're cannon fodder!\\
fodder!\\
'''[=CAT6=] Merc:''' Oh. Well... [[OhCrap shit.]]



--> '''Shepard:''' That phone call was pretty damning stuff. How'd you get it?\\
'''Liara:''' It involved the weapon's biometric data, salarian intelligence, and a [[BreadEggsMilkSquick hanar prostitute with camera implants.]]\\
'''Shepard:''' Seriously?\\
'''Liara:''' No, but the truth is boring.

to:

--> '''Shepard:''' -->'''Shepard:''' That phone call was pretty damning stuff. How'd you get it?\\
'''Liara:''' It involved the weapon's biometric data, salarian intelligence, and a [[BreadEggsMilkSquick hanar prostitute with camera implants.]]\\
'''Shepard:''' Seriously?\\
Seriously?\\
'''Liara:''' No, but the truth is boring.



--> '''Kaidan:''' I may be L2, but I've worked very hard, and now I can ''reave''!\\

to:

--> '''Kaidan:''' -->'''Kaidan:''' I may be L2, but I've worked very hard, and now I can ''reave''!\\



---> '''Shepard:''' Uh, ''[[BorrowedCatchPhrase this one]]'' is the hero of the Citadel. I'll handle it.\\
'''Blasto:''' This one insists.\\
'''Shepard:''' This one doesn't care!\\
'''Javik''' ''[biotically blasts the "indoctrinated" vorcha actor into the scenery]'': [[ItMakesSenseInContext This one wishes he was still frozen in the refrigerator!]]

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' Uh, ''[[BorrowedCatchPhrase this one]]'' is the hero of the Citadel. I'll handle it.\\
'''Blasto:''' This one insists.\\
'''Shepard:''' This one doesn't care!\\
care!\\
'''Javik''' ''[biotically blasts the "indoctrinated" vorcha actor into the scenery]'': [[ItMakesSenseInContext This one wishes he was still frozen in the refrigerator!]]



---> '''Salarian''': The council understands you recently found a Prothean in the refrigerator and defrosted him.\\
''[[[{{Beat}} Shepard and Javik look at each awkwardly]]]''\\
'''Shepard''': [[SureLetsGoWithThat Yeah.]] He was in the freezer, [[DeadpanSnarker right behind the varren roast.]]\\
'''Salarian''': Oh, wise Prothean elder, what wisdom of the ages can you share with us?\\
'''[[{{Troll}} Javik]]''': Salarian kidney is best served at room temperature. It is even better when the salarian is still alive. The fear adds... ''spice''.\\
'''Vorcha:''' [[YouNoTakeCandle Prothean no like you!]]

to:

---> '''Salarian''': --->'''Salarian''': The council understands you recently found a Prothean in the refrigerator and defrosted him.\\
''[[[{{Beat}} Shepard and Javik look at each awkwardly]]]''\\
awkwardly]]]''\\
'''Shepard''': [[SureLetsGoWithThat Yeah.]] He was in the freezer, [[DeadpanSnarker right behind the varren roast.]]\\
'''Salarian''': Oh, wise Prothean elder, what wisdom of the ages can you share with us?\\
us?\\
'''[[{{Troll}} Javik]]''': Salarian kidney is best served at room temperature. It is even better when the salarian is still alive. The fear adds... ''spice''.\\
'''Vorcha:''' [[YouNoTakeCandle Prothean no like you!]]



---> '''Director:''' A writer wrote it, so it ''must'' be true.

to:

---> '''Director:''' --->'''Director:''' A writer wrote it, so it ''must'' be true.



---> '''Vorcha:''' Aah, you die now!\\
'''Director:''' Not yet! That line comes later.\\
'''Salarian:''' The vorcha councilor will kindly refrain from further interruptions!\\
'''Javik:''' I believe I have been misled about the purpose of this... "vid".

to:

---> '''Vorcha:''' --->'''Vorcha:''' Aah, you die now!\\
now!\\
'''Director:''' Not yet! That line comes later.\\
'''Salarian:''' The vorcha councilor will kindly refrain from further interruptions!\\
interruptions!\\
'''Javik:''' I believe I have been misled about the purpose of this... "vid".



---> '''Javik:''' In my cycle, your kind were nothing more than appetizers. Would you prefer to be boiled or fried?\\
'''Vorcha Councilor:''' [[RunningGag Prothean no like you!]]

to:

---> '''Javik:''' --->'''Javik:''' In my cycle, your kind were nothing more than appetizers. Would you prefer to be boiled or fried?\\
'''Vorcha Councilor:''' [[RunningGag Prothean no like you!]]



---> '''Javik:''' ''[to Blasto]'' Where is the airlock so I may throw you out of it?\\
'''Director:''' We don't have a prop for that!

to:

---> '''Javik:''' --->'''Javik:''' ''[to Blasto]'' Where is the airlock so I may throw you out of it?\\
it?\\
'''Director:''' We don't have a prop for that!



---> '''Shepard:''' What can I say, I'm a masochist.\\
'''Aishwarya Ashland:''' Oh, no kidding! I'm a Scorpio! We'll get along great!

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' What can I say, I'm a masochist.\\
'''Aishwarya Ashland:''' Oh, no kidding! I'm a Scorpio! We'll get along great!



---> '''Shepard:''' We've met.\\
'''Jonah Ashland:''' Ah. Then maybe I should pass the [[GargleBlaster ryncol]] over to you.

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' We've met.\\
'''Jonah Ashland:''' Ah. Then maybe I should pass the [[GargleBlaster ryncol]] over to you.



---> '''Selyana:''' The humans are so resilient. Like that phrase of theirs: "[[InnocentInnuendo Stiff one in the lips]]."\\
'''Shepard:''' Stiff upper lip.\\
'''Selyana:''' Right, of course. What did I say?

to:

---> '''Selyana:''' --->'''Selyana:''' The humans are so resilient. Like that phrase of theirs: "[[InnocentInnuendo Stiff one in the lips]]."\\
'''Shepard:''' Stiff upper lip.\\
'''Selyana:''' Right, of course. What did I say?



---> '''Shepard''': Have any advice for me?\\
'''Sha'ira''': Win.

to:

---> '''Shepard''': --->'''Shepard''': Have any advice for me?\\
me?\\
'''Sha'ira''': Win.



--> '''Wrex''': And it's not even my birthday!

to:

--> '''Wrex''': -->'''Wrex''': And it's not even my birthday!



--> '''Shepard''': Brooks... You got hit.\\
'''Brooks''': I know! I used medi-gel. A lot of it. Um, all of it actually. And now everything is a little bit bouncy!\\
'''Shepard''': I think you used too much.

to:

--> '''Shepard''': -->'''Shepard''': Brooks... You got hit.\\
'''Brooks''': I know! I used medi-gel. A lot of it. Um, all of it actually. And now everything is a little bit bouncy!\\
'''Shepard''': I think you used too much.



--> '''Grunt:''' Are you...a wizard?\\
'''Grunt:''' [[CallBack SHARKS!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' I'm sad hanar can't wear sweaters.\\
'''Grunt:''' Damn your lettuce!\\
'''Grunt:''' Salarians have wiggly arms.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial It was broken when I got here]].\\
'''Grunt:''' [[Creator/SteveBlum Who's]] a [[Anime/CowboyBebop space cowboy]]? [[ActorAllusion Me!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' I'm a pretty bird.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[ComicBook/JudgeDredd I am the law!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' What are clowns hiding?

to:

--> '''Grunt:''' -->'''Grunt:''' Are you...a wizard?\\
'''Grunt:''' [[CallBack SHARKS!]]\\
SHARKS!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' I'm sad hanar can't wear sweaters.\\
'''Grunt:''' Damn your lettuce!\\
lettuce!\\
'''Grunt:''' Salarians have wiggly arms.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial It was broken when I got here]].\\
'''Grunt:''' [[Creator/SteveBlum Who's]] a [[Anime/CowboyBebop space cowboy]]? [[ActorAllusion Me!]]\\
Me!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' I'm a pretty bird.\\
'''Grunt:''' [[ComicBook/JudgeDredd I am the law!]]\\
law!]]\\
'''Grunt:''' What are clowns hiding?



---> '''Grunt:''' Gimme more.\\

to:

---> '''Grunt:''' --->'''Grunt:''' Gimme more.\\



---> '''Kaidan:''' I've lost a lot of money. Who can I talk to about getting it back?\\

to:

---> '''Kaidan:''' --->'''Kaidan:''' I've lost a lot of money. Who can I talk to about getting it back?\\



---> '''Ashley:''' I think... I ate a steak meant for the turians. Am I going to die?\\

to:

---> '''Ashley:''' --->'''Ashley:''' I think... I ate a steak meant for the turians. Am I going to die?\\



---> '''Liara:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Uh, is there somewhere ah can go to make a pri-vaht call? It's verray important.\\

to:

---> '''Liara:''' --->'''Liara:''' ''[Southern accent]'' Uh, is there somewhere ah can go to make a pri-vaht call? It's verray important.\\



---> '''Garrus:''' Can you tell me who [[MemeticMutation calibrates]] the odds on your machines? I never seem to get a payout.\\

to:

---> '''Garrus:''' --->'''Garrus:''' Can you tell me who [[MemeticMutation calibrates]] the odds on your machines? I never seem to get a payout.\\



---> '''Javik:''' [[RefugeInAudacity You! Human, I require your attention. I am a Prothean. What do you think of that?]]\\

to:

---> '''Javik:''' --->'''Javik:''' [[RefugeInAudacity You! Human, I require your attention. I am a Prothean. What do you think of that?]]\\



---> '''James:''' Hey, Pervo. Did I just see you staring at my chica's ass?\\

to:

---> '''James:''' --->'''James:''' Hey, Pervo. Did I just see you staring at my chica's ass?\\



---> '''Wrex:''' I need to look in your kitchen! [[BlatantLies I'm a food inspector!]]\\

to:

---> '''Wrex:''' --->'''Wrex:''' I need to look in your kitchen! [[BlatantLies I'm a food inspector!]]\\



--> '''Kaidan:''' [[MotorMouth There's coffee. Who wants coffee? I want coffee. More coffee. Am I being too loud?]]

to:

--> '''Kaidan:''' -->'''Kaidan:''' [[MotorMouth There's coffee. Who wants coffee? I want coffee. More coffee. Am I being too loud?]]



--> '''Mysterious Figure:''' I need more time! Slow him/her down [[BadBoss or I'll have your head!]]\\

to:

--> '''Mysterious -->'''Mysterious Figure:''' I need more time! Slow him/her down [[BadBoss or I'll have your head!]]\\



--> No, that gets broken down with mass effect fields, those are just [[AscendedMeme my hips...]]\\

to:

--> No, -->No, that gets broken down with mass effect fields, those are just [[AscendedMeme my hips...]]\\



---> "You want to know what it is? You wanna know? ''[awed whisper]'' It's a pretty bird made of rainbows! It's flying out of the eyehole of a skull being held in the mouth of a thresher maw with a naked woman holding a sword on its back!"

to:

---> "You --->"You want to know what it is? You wanna know? ''[awed whisper]'' It's a pretty bird made of rainbows! It's flying out of the eyehole of a skull being held in the mouth of a thresher maw with a naked woman holding a sword on its back!"



--> '''Joker:''' Man, some Cerberus programmer phoned ''that'' one in.

to:

--> '''Joker:''' -->'''Joker:''' Man, some Cerberus programmer phoned ''that'' one in.



--> '''Joker:''' I think you had a better shot when she still looked like a giant chess piece, Traynor.\\

to:

--> '''Joker:''' -->'''Joker:''' I think you had a better shot when she still looked like a giant chess piece, Traynor.\\



---> '''Shepard:''' You guys don't think she knows? She's the Normandy's AI. [[ParanoiaFuel She sees every extranet site you browse.]]\\

to:

---> '''Shepard:''' --->'''Shepard:''' You guys don't think she knows? She's the Normandy's AI. [[ParanoiaFuel She sees every extranet site you browse.]]\\



--> '''Javik:''' The James human believes you and I were on a date at the casino. Protheans did not date primitives! We conquered them, we enslaved them... We sometimes ate them, but we did not "date" them! Unless they were asari. The things Liara does not know...

to:

--> '''Javik:''' -->'''Javik:''' The James human believes you and I were on a date at the casino. Protheans did not date primitives! We conquered them, we enslaved them... We sometimes ate them, but we did not "date" them! Unless they were asari. The things Liara does not know...



--> '''Wrex:''' You got me dressed up like this and someone else got to do the shooting? Wrex not happy.

to:

--> '''Wrex:''' -->'''Wrex:''' You got me dressed up like this and someone else got to do the shooting? Wrex not happy.



---> '''Javik:''' He has a bigger hole than your council's defense plan.

to:

---> '''Javik:''' --->'''Javik:''' He has a bigger hole than your council's defense plan.



--> '''Brooks''': I'm going to have to write a report about getting shot. I hear those are really complicated.\\
'''Shepard''': It's faster if you make a template.\\
'''Brooks''': I think maybe you get shot too much.

to:

--> '''Brooks''': -->'''Brooks''': I'm going to have to write a report about getting shot. I hear those are really complicated.\\
'''Shepard''': It's faster if you make a template.\\
'''Brooks''': I think maybe you get shot too much.



--> '''Samara:''' I didn't. [[{{Troll}} I just made it up]]. [[NotSoAboveItAll See. Fun.]]

to:

--> '''Samara:''' -->'''Samara:''' I didn't. [[{{Troll}} I just made it up]]. [[NotSoAboveItAll See. Fun.]]



--> '''Liara''': Well, I recently discovered that [[spoiler:I'm one-quarter krogan]].\\

to:

--> '''Liara''': -->'''Liara''': Well, I recently discovered that [[spoiler:I'm one-quarter krogan]].\\



--> '''Fantasy!Joker:''' That's right! You just landed on [[Literature/TheIslandOfDoctorMoreau the Island of Doctor Me!]]

to:

--> '''Fantasy!Joker:''' -->'''Fantasy!Joker:''' That's right! You just landed on [[Literature/TheIslandOfDoctorMoreau the Island of Doctor Me!]]



---> '''Fantasy!Joker:''' It's Joking time.

to:

---> '''Fantasy!Joker:''' --->'''Fantasy!Joker:''' It's Joking time.



--> '''Zaeed:''' We're all professionals here. Some of us with no depth perception, but it's fine.\\

to:

--> '''Zaeed:''' -->'''Zaeed:''' We're all professionals here. Some of us with no depth perception, but it's fine.\\



--> '''Shepard:''' [[SelfDeprecation I don't think so]].

to:

--> '''Shepard:''' -->'''Shepard:''' [[SelfDeprecation I don't think so]].



--> '''Garrus''': Did we, uh, break anything last night? I don't suppose you need anything around here... ''calibrated''? Yeah, okay, maybe I should stop saying that word, but ''only'' if Liara stops saying ''[falsetto]'' "By the goddess."

to:

--> '''Garrus''': -->'''Garrus''': Did we, uh, break anything last night? I don't suppose you need anything around here... ''calibrated''? Yeah, okay, maybe I should stop saying that word, but ''only'' if Liara stops saying ''[falsetto]'' "By the goddess."



---> '''Steve:''' You're in for a rough time, Moreau. Vega and I are neck and neck when it comes to holding liquor.\\

to:

---> '''Steve:''' --->'''Steve:''' You're in for a rough time, Moreau. Vega and I are neck and neck when it comes to holding liquor.\\
15th Aug '17 7:16:33 AM Gorank
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--> '''Shepard:''' But...what if I want to use the hot tub?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Shepard:''' But...what if I want to use the hot tub?\\






14th Aug '17 1:34:38 PM Gorank
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--> '''Jack:''' Watch your barriers!
--> ''*cry of pain*''
--> '''Jack:''' DAMN IT, RODRIGUEZ!

to:

--> ---> '''Jack:''' Watch your barriers!
--> ---> ''*cry of pain*''
--> ---> '''Jack:''' DAMN IT, RODRIGUEZ!



--> '''Shepard:''' Everyone okay up there?
--> '''Jack:''' Rodriguez took one in the arm. Because she ''didn't watch her barriers!''

to:

--> ----> '''Shepard:''' Everyone okay up there?
--> ----> '''Jack:''' Rodriguez took one in the arm. Because she ''didn't watch her barriers!''



--> '''Jack:''' ''Where the hell's Rodriguez?!''

to:

--> ---> '''Jack:''' ''Where the hell's Rodriguez?!''




4th Aug '17 6:16:36 PM WaterBlap
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* In the final DLC mission, after you picked your squad, you're treated to a short scene with two others complaining that they didn't get picked. [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything The one you use most frequently and the one you use the least]]. Or, if you are taking your most frequent squadmates, Wrex will, like a petulant child, say ''he'' wanted to go.

to:

* In the final DLC mission, after you picked your squad, you're treated to a short scene with two others complaining that they didn't get picked. [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything The one you use most frequently and the one you use the least]].least. Or, if you are taking your most frequent squadmates, Wrex will, like a petulant child, say ''he'' wanted to go.
21st Jul '17 8:01:19 PM TropesForever
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* Glyph says he's going to change his appearance to be more festive for the party. So what does he add? [[BowtiesAreCool A holographic bow-tie.]]

to:

* Glyph says he's going to change his appearance to be more festive for the party. So what does he add? [[BowtiesAreCool A holographic bow-tie.]]
3rd Jul '17 4:18:51 PM MinisterOfSinister
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* During an optional mission on Sanctum, Shepard finds a "Failed Medi-Gel Experiment" in a Cerberus lab.
-->'''Shepard:''' "Will only lead to Medi-Gel advances for hanar." ''(scoff)'' Only [[FantasticRacism Cerberus]] would call ''that'' a failure.
28th Jun '17 7:26:14 AM CelPrevXXVI
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* After the Normandy has been retaken, [[spoiler:Brooks getss taken in to custody for the incident. The player gets two choices in this instance, while she tries tobreak free from her cuffs with her omnitool:]]

to:

* After the Normandy has been retaken, [[spoiler:Brooks getss gets taken in to custody for the incident. The player gets two choices in this instance, while she tries tobreak free from her cuffs with her omnitool:]]



-->'''Wrex:'''In the old days, we’d have just shot her… Ah, good times.
-->'''James:'''Damn. The really hot ones are always crazy, no?

to:

-->'''Wrex:'''In -->'''Wrex:''' In the old days, we’d have just shot her… Ah, good times.
-->'''James:'''Damn.-->'''James:''' Damn. The really hot ones are always crazy, no?



** Even if shepard did not take the interrupt, it is also laugh out loud hilarious when one of your crew delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]], as they also get theirs:

to:

** Even if shepard Shepard did not take the interrupt, it is also laugh out loud still laugh-out-loud hilarious when one of your crew delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]], as they also get theirs:
25th Jun '17 6:50:20 AM CelPrevXXVI
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* After the Normandy has been retaken, this epic BondOneLiner

to:

* After the Normandy has been retaken, [[spoiler:Brooks getss taken in to custody for the incident. The player gets two choices in this instance, while she tries tobreak free from her cuffs with her omnitool:]]
** As Paragon, Shepard can convince her not to escape and surrender to the Alliance Military. This will, in one way or the other, bother one of the squadmates:
-->'''Wrex:'''In the old days, we’d have just shot her… Ah, good times.
-->'''James:'''Damn. The really hot ones are always crazy, no?
-->'''Javik:''' If you are undecided, it is not to late to throw her out the airlock.
-->'''Ashley:''' Bitch.
-->'''Tali:''' Bosh’tet.
-->'''Garrus:''' I’m sorry we didn’t shoot her.
-->'''Kaidan:''' I almost wish we’d shot her.
-->'''Liara:''' She’d better hope we never see her again.
** While as Renegade, Shepard gets to kill her for good, then deliver an
epic BondOneLiner



** It's also laugh out loud hilarious when one of your crew delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]], as they also get theirs:

to:

** It's Even if shepard did not take the interrupt, it is also laugh out loud hilarious when one of your crew delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]], as they also get theirs:


Added DiffLines:

-->'''James:''' I don't think so.
-->'''Ashley:''' I was really hoping I'd get to do that.


Added DiffLines:


** Capped off no less by this line:
-->'''Joker:''' Uh... Maintenance to the shuttle bay...
25th Jun '17 6:21:47 AM CelPrevXXVI
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* After the Normandy has been retaken, this priceless BondOneLiner

to:

* After the Normandy has been retaken, this priceless epic BondOneLiner



** It's also laugh out loud hilarious if Garrus delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]]:

to:

** It's also laugh out loud hilarious if Garrus when one of your crew delivers the shot to the fleeing [[spoiler:Brooks]]:[[spoiler:Brooks]], as they also get theirs:


Added DiffLines:

-->'''Javik:''' Problem solved.
-->'''Wrex:''' ''(To Shepard)'' You're getting slow.
-->'''Liara:''' As escape attempts go, I've seen better.
-->'''Kaidan:''' Not likely.
-->'''Tali:''' Well I won't miss you, you crazy bosh'tet.
15th Jun '17 9:52:38 PM Lightning4119
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** Made even funnier with Wrex since he also seems rather nonchalant about the whole thing. He must figure Shepard has a plan.

to:

** Made even funnier with Wrex since [[SeenItAll he also seems rather nonchalant about the whole thing.thing]]. He must figure Shepard has a plan.



-->'''Garrus:''' You know, I meant for that to be a warning shot. Ah, well.

to:

-->'''Garrus:''' You know, [[BlatantLies I meant for that to be a warning shot. shot.]] Ah, well.
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