* The First Daughter's deadpan line after the Martians wipe out Congress in their ''second'' slaughter on our planet's soil:
--> '''First Daughter''': Guess it wasn't the dove.
* "They blew up Congress!"
* "Do the Martians have two sexes, like we do?" Asked by a reporter of AmbiguousGender.
* [[BlatantLies "Don't Run, we are your friends."]]
* "I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them and that ain't bad."
* "We have to strike NOW, sir! [[AxCrazy Annihilate! Kill! Kill! Kill!"]] "'''[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]''' Shut up, ''shut!'' ''Up!''"
* "Whoa! He just made the international sign of the donut!"
* "Ello, Maurice. Ça va?"
** (listening to the Martians massacre the French government) "Mon dieu..."
* The scene where it looks like Franchise/{{Godzilla}} is attacking a major city. Turns out [[spoiler:the Martians are just watching [[Film/GodzillaVsBiollante a Godzilla film]] on their viewing screen. Then they changed the channel to ''Series/TheDukesOfHazzard''.]]
* The DVD has an optional language track...in Martian.
* The Martian Emperor speaking in a high-pitched voice after inhaling the absorbed nuclear blast.
* "''Rooooooollexxxxxx!''"
* It's a blink and you'll miss it moment, but when Byron challenges the Martian Ambassador to a fight, the latter removes his cloak and reveals what looks like a ''championship belt''. Just imagining the oddly proportioned Martians boxing frequently is just.. Really odd.
* One of the darkest jokes in the movie, the little dog running off with [[spoiler:Michael J. Fox]]'s hand, all that's left of him after being vaporized, like it was a bone.
* In the very last scene, within the destroyed ruins of the house, one woman is nonchalantly dusting.
* As the saucers start falling from their occupants dying, the annoying, yapping chihuahua, now having its head on its owner's body, takes the chance to strangle a random martian in the UFO, while still ''endlessly yapping''.
* The [[BlindIdiotTranslation dodgy]] [[TranslationTrainWreck translation]] computer (the aforementioned "Don't run; we are your friends" notwithstanding):
-->[[WordSaladHumor All green of skin, 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.]]
-->'''General Decker:''' [[IceCreamKoan What the hell]] [[LampshadeHanging does that mean]]?!
** Not to mention that during this, Kessler is grinning and nodding intently, like he's listening to some profound intellectual bullcrap.
* The image of a ScaryBlackMan walking the streets with a giant boom box blasting yodeling.
* Barbara Land is the poster girl for BourgeoisBohemian, particularly in one scene where she tries to attain enlightenment while sitting in a room with as private pool and expensive-yet-tacky furnishings.
* The Martian laboratory looks creepy, but if you look hard enough, you'll see there's a clown in one of their specimen pods. [[FridgeLogic When did they get that?]]
* When the Martian Emperor makes his first appearance, he's reading a girly mag. From the look of things, the center-fold actually turned him on!
* When the Martians attack a donut store, several policemen run out.
* When a Martian steps into a giant mech suit, his wife throws him a lunch box and waves him off like he's going to work.
* Art Land could provide a whole page just by himself.
* When the Martians first broadcast their message, Donald tries to comfort Natalie by putting a reassuring hand on her knee. She's wearing a skirt, so Jason cries out ''"He copped a feel!"''. That was apparently a bigger deal than what was happening next to him.
* A dark moment, but the president's wife could have saved her own life if she didn't obsess over her antique chandelier getting zapped ''while standing right beneath it!''
* Martin Short getting attacked by a Martian in disguise ends with a "fish finger" pun.
* When the Martians break into the president's bunker, they toss a glowing orb into the main room. Cue everyone ducking for cover. When the Martian Emperor walks in, he grabs the orb, shakes it and reveals that it's just a snow globe.
* The way the movie ends. You wouldn't expect a film about alien invaders to end with Tom Jones singing while animals flock to him like Snow White.