Funny: Long Live the Queen

  • This trailer has been gaining some lolz. The narrator's delivery is pure gold and really sells the nature of the setting.
    Guide the fair princess Elodie, on her road to coronation. Studious girl who always resists the temptations of power and strives to prevent war at any cost. She is beloved by her people... except for the assassin whose arrow punctured her lung.
    Guide the agile princess Elodie, on her road to coronation. Easily startled and quick to dodge, she avoids snakes, magic, Court, parades... and birthday parties — just to be safe. Too bad about that civil war.
    Guide the clever Princess Elodie on her road to coronation. Silver tongued and sharp-witted, she outmaneuvers her opponents with words alone. Her speeches turn enemies into allies. Her only weakness is chocolate— well, chocolate and poison... Oh.
  • Public Speaking #60: You borrow the menu for an upcoming banquet and practice delivering it as a dramatic speech to an audience of confused chambermaids.
  • Elodie deciding to wear Talarist's courting gift.
    Elodie: I'm the princess and I want my jewelry.
  • At the ball, if Elodie is engaged to Talarist and an oblivious Banion tries to trick her into being obliged to marry him, she can shut him down hilariously.
    Elodie: I don't think it would be appropriate. [cheery] After all, your fiancée might be overwhelmed with jealousy!
    Banion: My...
    Elodie: My guests are already aware of my engagement to Talarist, Duke of Sedna. Therefore, you are announcing your own engagement, are you not?
    • An update adds the possibility of Talarist himself (who wears glasses) stepping in.
    Talarist: If I may be of some assistance? I can provide a recommendation for the best oculists in Sedna, Your Grace.
    Banion: Oculists?
    Talarist: To correct your vision. You have apparently mistaken my fiancée for a woman of your acquaintance.
  • An unskilled Elodie facing a vote of no contest is just farcically hilarious.
  • If Elodie fails at delivering a veiled insult to the woman charming her father:
    Elodie: My, what large breasts you have! Putting then on display for any particular reason?
    Joslyn: Elodie!
    Sirin: Really, my dear, it's not polite to comment on a lady's attributes like that. But you are young. You will... grow.
  • It is possible to receive a... rather unflattering poem.
    Elodie: I what? With a squid?
    • Even better, you can say that it's insulting... or admit that it is Actually Pretty Funny!
      • If you piss off Talarist enough, he'll get ahold of the poem in one of the epilogues and use it to insult Elodie... only for her to walk away married to his little brother. Considering that he's willing to kill a little boy to secure his place in the Novan nobility, it's even better that he loses everything that he was trying to gain in marrying Elodie by throwing a tantrum.
  • The assassination of the twelve-year-old Duke of Elath is not particularly funny, but one of the options for his replacement is, quote, "A random commoner!"
  • Should you talk Briony out of her most likely lethal adventure into the Old Capital via knowledge of her family issues, you get this:
    Briony: Thanks, Elodie! You're smarter than I remembered.
    Elodie: Argh!
    • The +1 Angry popup really sells it.
  • In very early versions there was a bug with a character showing the wrong expression at certain points. Charlotte seems just a bit too happy.
  • On week 29, Elodie may receive a decorative horse-embroidered pillow from Lillah. If Arisse is dead (by Elodie's doing) and it's her successor Kiran sending it, she descends into paranoia.
    Does he know? Is this cushion meant to send some sort of message? Or is it somehow trapped? Is it a poisoned pillow?
  • Flavor text from passing Horses checks includes Elodie complaining that Arisse didn't send her a real horse in the aforementioned event and taking issue with Talarist's factually inaccurate metaphors.
  • Briony's reaction to being held hostage:
    What do you want now, Elodie? This has been the worst vacation ever!
  • In the 'marrying a commoner' epilogue, it's noted that Elodie often snuck out of the palace to visit "a certain bakery". Evrard's father is so shocked when he learns the Queen has been frequenting his bakery that he nearly collapses, but Evrard never responds to any of this with anything other than a cheeky grin and a croissant for Elodie.
    • There are a couple of funny moments with Evrard, if you meet him and reach the requirements to trigger more scenes with him. In the last scene with him, he brings cookies to Elodie, saying he heard she needed cheering up. When she insists she's fine, he dumps the cookies on her anyway, telling her to give them to his sister, Alice. Elodie's reaction sells the whole scene.
      Elodie: [eats a cookie] This is good!
      Evrard: My pa's a baker in town. I'm learning from him. He does the cookies, though. I mostly do bread.
      Elodie: Is this your way of paying me back for those apples you stole?
      Evrard: Nah. I kinda heard you might need cheering up.
      Elodie: [indignant] I do not need cheering up!
      Evrard: Oh. Well, in that case, give the rest of these to my sister Alice, okay, princess? [presses the basket into her hands and walks away]
      Elodie: [embarrassed and angry] (That ill-bred, disreputable, overreaching... jerk!)
  • While you have to be anti-Lumen and wield the "Power of Music" to get the option, marrying Julianna's brother Ignatius (who inherits her titles and ends up divorcing his incestuous cheating wife thanks in no small part to his new station) earns you a description of Briony (his daughter and two years older than Elodie) making gagging noises every time she sees either of them after the marriage.
  • The sheer audacity of bragging to poor Adair, your twelve-year-old fiance, about the fact that you executed his stepmother after she started a civil war.
    Elodie: You don't have to worry about being taken back to Lillah anymore. Arisse was a traitor to the realm. She attacked me, so I had to put her down. [cheerful expression] So you can stay here forever!
    [beat as Adair stares in shock]
    Elodie: You could say 'thank you.'
  • Elodie considering whether or not to hire Sabine as a court musician when the former hasn't studied music well enough:
    The musician sings a little ditty to demonstrate her skills with the lute.
    Elodie: She's actually pretty good.
    [Test: Instrument + Voice → Failed]
  • After deciding to help Briony with her family issues, Elodie proceeds to troll Corisande when she turns up in pursuit.
    Corisande: Elodie! Where is my daughter?
    Elodie: [innocent expression] Which daughter?
    • The evil variant:
    Elodie: [exact same expression] Who, Briony? She went to Kathre Lake looking for treasure.
  • Banion's rotten love life. One piece of Internal Affairs knowledge is that he tried to court Julianna; "Your agents suspect the Duchess of Ursul is actually more interested in the Duchess of Hellas." In one story event, Brin confirms that Julianna was dating her the whole time and he completely failed to notice. Then there's Arisse exposing him in one of the endings where he tries to break up Elodie and Thaddeus.
    • There are seven or eight different marriage endings involving Banion. The least disastrous one is the ending where Elodie is also involved with his sister Brin.
    • If Elodie has enough Internal Affairs knowledge to learn about Banion's failed courtship of Julianna, the line "Unsuccessfully romanced Julianna, Duchess of Ursul" will stay on his dossier for the entire game, regardless of what's happening in the story when the player checks his information. note 
  • Some Black Comedy: In one possible ending, Kevan, Earl of Io agrees to marry Elodie just for the opportunity to dramatically take vengeance on her at the wedding. He is thwarted, because her guards catch him monologuing.
    • There is some more Black Comedy with the same character if he challenges a cruel Elodie to a duel during the tournament and her magical offensive powers are high enough.
      Kevan: I challenge you, Elodie! A life for a life!
      Narration: Without a further word, you direct the full force of your magical wrath at the Earl of Io. There is a horrible scream, and the smell of burning flesh.
      Elodie: I decline.
  • Elodie declaring to her father that she'll use her new printing press to publish pro-Lumen literature.
    Joslyn: ... As you wish.
  • The infamous scene in which an unskilled Elodie "politely declines" Talarist's marriage proposal:
    Elodie: (I need to let him down gently.)
    Elodie: I am not marrying you! I'm only fourteen!
    Elodie: (...That may not have been gentle.)